Monday, December 18, 2006

[GM]Dave Evolution

So, it seems a good number of my readers have been asking what I make of the new GM policies. As a matter of fact, enough people have e-mailed me that I felt the need to post about it.

This should have two delightful effects:

1) it will enlighten you, my good reader, as to my own personal opinion on the matter

2) it will keep you people from cramming my inbox with e-mails.

Seriously. Stop.

Now, to my opinion.



That's it. That's my entire opinion on the matter.


I have to be more polite to people because it seems players were starting to worry about getting punished for making unnecessary GM calls.

I wonder where in the hell that came from.

But that's okay. I can totally be positive.

I'll smile and say thank you as I delete your character.

Hell, it usually makes me smile anyway.

And the returning lost items thing? Sure, I foresee that being the start of several headaches, but imagine all the fun I'm going to have with that.

[GM]Dave>> Hail, Adventurer.
[GM]Dave>> I understand you lost an item.
Player>> Oh please. You have to get it back.
Player>> I accidentally dropped my Peacock Charm.
[GM]Dave>> No problem, sir. Let me get right on that.
[GM]Dave>> Oh...
Player>> Oh?
Player>> What's oh?
[GM]Dave>> It seems I can't return your item.
Player>> WHAT?!
Player>> WHY NOT?!
[GM]Dave>> Well, each player only gets to do that once.
Player>> SO?!
[GM]Dave>> A month ago, you had an item returned.
[GM]Dave>> It was a...
[GM]Dave>> Sword.
[GM]Dave>> Did you really use your one ticket on a sword?
[GM]Dave>> I hope it's a freakin' good sword.
Player>> I want my charm back!
[GM]Dave>> I'm sorry. Rules are rules, you know.
[GM]Dave>> *SMILE*

There's only one problem I can predict...

[GM]Dave>> Hail, Adventurer.
[GM]Dave>> I understand you lost an item.
Jormungand>> Actually, I lost a bunch of items.
Jormungand>> They were on a Taru at the time.
[GM]Dave>> Again?
[GM]Dave>> How did you lose them this time?
Jormungand>> *burp*
[GM]Dave>> Sigh.
[GM]Dave>> Don't worry.
[GM]Dave>> Your items will be returned in 3-5 days.
Jormungand>> Really? Tha...
Jormungand>> Oh, that's not funny, you bastard.

Seriously, what did you people expect? That I'd run off shaking in a corner?

Hell no.

My cruelty cannot be constrained by some simple rules.

Besides, it just gives me room to be creative.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Irony Much?

Yes, three new posts in one day.

Don't get used to it.

I just had to post this. Right after I finished my update, I checked my e-mail to find this.

Dear Sir/Madam:

We are impressed by your blog's enhanced design and navigation. Could we advertize on your blog?

{Moron's Website Name} is a leading provider of virtual currency provided to the Massively Multiplayer online community with about 2 year of experience. Till now, we have served over 100,000 Happy game players.
We hope very much to promorte our site by advertising in your blog.

You can reach us on any of the email addresses below. Please allow up
to 24 hours for us to respond.

{Address removed so that you don't turn his server into a pile of ashes}

We look forward to receiving your favorable and prompt reply.

We hope that this letter is the first step to establishment of a long
and pleasant relationship.


I want you to really consider how retarded this e-mail is.

Don't try to ponder it all at the same time. You could really hurt yourself.

A Knife In The Back

So, given the amount of playtime I get between work and home, I've been leveling several characters over the past few years.

One of those characters has been getting extremely close to finishing off his relic dagger, the Mandau.

For those of you unfamiliar with the Mandau, all you really need to know is that it is awesomeness forged into a knife. This is the kind of knife Chuck Norris would use.

Yes. I went there.

Anyway, I've been getting extremely close to this goal and I was getting very hyped up. I was really looking forward to being the first of my friends to finish off my relic weapon.

Most of them didn't even know how close I was. I just wanted to surprise them all.

This was going to be sweet.

Man, they are going to freak out when they see me with that dagger. I'll just pop into my LSes and say something like...

Arzo>> (( Mandau )): O

Yeah. Something cool and simple like that.

Something really...


Wait a second...

My name isn't Arzo.

Arzo>> I finally finished my relic dagger!!!

But he...


I was supposed to be first.

[GM]Dave>> Congratulations.

See? [GM]Dave isn't all bad.

I'm not a sore loser.

Arzo>> Holy crap!
Arzo>> I just did a 2483 Mercy Stroke to a spider.
[GM]Dave>> Yeah.
[GM]Dave>> That's nice.

Really, I'm not a sore loser at all.

Arzo>> Aquarius -> (( Found it! ))
[GM]Dave>> Are you freakin' kidding me?

I'm not a sore loser.

I'm not a sore loser.

I'm not a sore loser.

Arzo>> Woot!
Arzo>> Got the drop!

Not a sore loser.

Not a...

Oh, who the hell am I kidding?

[GM]Dave>> Wow, Arzo. This is a big event.
Arzo>> I know.
Arzo>> I've been working on it for two years.
[GM]Dave>> You should do something special.
Arzo>> Like what?
[GM]Dave>> You should get that dagger bronzed.
Arzo>> Haha, that's...

Arzo obtained a Bronze Dagger.

Arzo>> My...
Arzo>> I...
[GM]Dave>> Yeah.
[GM]Dave>> You're welcome.

Your tell could not be received. The other play is either changing areas or has just logged off and is weeping as he contemplates the two years he just wasted. He is also contemplating cutting his wrists with a knife.

Irony much?

[GM]Dave does not handle adversity well.

Fan Pack Update

The fan packs are coming.

I'm working on something nice for Christmas, so I'm waiting a little while to send them. It would be kind of stupid to get a Christmas pack on Dec. 1.

Don't worry though. I haven't forgotten everyone who donated to help me out.

You guys are all cool with me.