Friday, September 03, 2010

Time Flies...

So, if you're reading this, you're probably familiar with everything that has been going on since Susan got pregnant.

I am writing this to inform you of the birth of our baby daughter.

Now, some of you are probably confused. Some of you are no doubt reading back through the archives for when I announced that Susan was pregnant.

I'll wait.


Okay. NOW, some of you are figuring out that that was not nine months ago.

I'll wait again. There's math involved.

Stupid math.


Alright. Are we all up to speed?


Tuesday, my lovely and very pregnant wife Susan decided to go on a little trip with a couple of her friends. Their names are not important as I am having them killed at my earliest convenience.

They went to a bed and breakfast more than two hours away. At the time, this did not seem like a bad idea since Susan was still 3 months from her expected due date.

It did seem like a bad idea Wednesday morning when her water broke.

Do you know that if your phone rings at 7 am, it is NEVER good news. Seriously. Just ignore it.

Our daughter was born while I was driving well in excess of any posted speed limits and cursing Susan's friends furiously.

I think I may have actually invented new swear words.

If someone calls you a Dongtanker, that means some serious shit, right there.

For those of you who may not have the greatest math skills (or reading ability as I just explained it), she was born 12 weeks early.

Yes, 12 weeks.

Imagine my surprise.

And because I'm sure we have a few "pics or it didn't happen" people in the crowd, I have decided to post a picture of her.

You may not want to keep scrolling if you're squeamish.

I warned you.

That is her shortly after birth, my darling baby girl.

I don't have any more recent photos though, as she had to be evaced to the nearest children's hospital for specialized treatment.

You know things are going just great when they airlift your baby daughter to an undisclosed location.

I'm pleased to say that she is doing amazingly though. For a baby born at 28 weeks, she is kicking some serious ass. She's already off the ventilator and is breathing on her own.

I know that doesn't sound amazing. You're breathing on your own right now and nobody is handing you a freaking medal, right?


Yeah, well, with babies like this, it's kind of a big deal. Let me have my little victories.

Get it?


I'm making puns.

Seriously, guys, things are okay. She is really doing well and all of the doctors are very hopeful. Susan and I will be heading to the children's hospital as soon as she's well enough to travel.

I just wanted to share this with you because you are my people.


At 8:52 PM, Blogger Wavrik said...

Dave, I hope everything goes well with the baby. Sorry about the trouble, but I hope it gets better. Be sure to invite her friends to FFXI just to feed them to a dragon.

At 9:27 PM, Blogger golden_knyte said...

hmm dongtanker...ill have to write that down.

keep on goin little demonspawn of the GM Dave!!! oops, did i say demonspawn? shit...guess i better not open my mailbox for a while.

glad everything is goin ok and that the baby is getting better

At 9:28 PM, Blogger Patient C said...

All my best to you, Dave.

At 9:36 PM, Blogger Cary said...

glad to hear it and congrats, hope everythig goes well for you.

At 9:48 PM, Blogger George said...

Good luck to you and your family Dave.

At 9:51 PM, Blogger redambition said...

Sendin good vibes and best wishes for the new addition to the family. Hope you and Susan are doing ok!

At 10:33 PM, Blogger Sword said...

Wow, just Wow. This is big and congrats on so many levels Dave! I pray she'll do alright, and from the sounds of it she'll pull through. In any case, take a breather and get some rest. Hope to hear back from you soon, and keep us informed.

BTW whats her name?

At 10:39 PM, Blogger kskerns said...

Best hopes and wishes for GM Dave, Susan, Umbrella Corp, and the littlest addition. My wife and I keep you in our thoughts =)


At 1:30 AM, Blogger Kath said...

contragts Dave =). I really hope she'll be allright =).
and I think she's cute on the pic :D

At 7:22 AM, Blogger Mark said...

Man sounds like some crazy times, best wishes to you and your family. Glad to hear it sounds like everything is going to be ok!

At 7:28 AM, Blogger dagger2003 said...

My thoughts and prayer go out to you and you wife and your new baby girl. She looks beautiful! If shes breathing on her own that means shes one strong little girl. Glad she has a father like you to be there with her!

Congrats to both of you! Look forward to more posts in the future!

At 7:52 AM, Blogger Dizzmal said...

Good luck dave and remember to thank your NICU nurse. They work their asses off to make sure your baby has the best care possible. My wife is a NICU nurse and you would be amazed at the amount of work goes into a baby born that early.

At 11:08 AM, Blogger Jacques said...

Hey Dave, long-time lurker here.

Just wanted to say your baby is beautiful! Do tell us what you're gonna name her, man!

Anyway, can't wait for more epic Jormungandongtanking. Behold, the second heiress to the [GM]Dave banstick has arrived!

At 12:46 PM, Blogger Däyna said...

Awww, she's gorgeous :3. Congratulations Dave and Susan!

At 1:24 PM, Blogger Alan said...

Oh shit.
Glad to see she's doing fine though. =3

I will also have to take notes. Dongtanker... Good one.

At 1:41 PM, Blogger Meeka said...

... yeah I really did that.
Anyways, seriously, congrats on the little one! Very happy to hear she is doing well :) I wish you, Susan and the two little munchkins all the best and a speedy recovery.

At 3:21 PM, Blogger Erik said...

Congratulations. I hope it all continues to go well.

At 6:00 PM, Blogger Bufuman said...

Shit, Dave, that sounds serious. Glad to hear she's still kicking. Here's to her eventual recovery!

At 7:06 PM, Blogger Strings said...

Congrats on her doing well.

For Susan's friends, I have to recommend torture over just having them killed. Much more satisfying...

At 10:34 PM, Blogger Tyler said...

Congratulations Susan and Dave!

At 4:52 AM, Blogger Kinam said...

congrats on the next addition to the GM family.

Make sure that Susan knows that it's not her fault, and that she should be as proud of your newbie as you are. I know many female friends that went into serious depression when their child(ren) were premature.

At 6:43 AM, Blogger TigerTrance said...

Congratulations on another daughter! Best wishes for the new little stinker. :)

At 7:06 AM, Blogger Soren said...

Congratulations, Dave! She's beautiful!

I hope things only continue to get better, although knowing you, I'd have to say that your daughter's gonna be feedin' people to Jormy in no time!

At 10:14 AM, Blogger RedBoar said...

Our little guy was born at 35, but had threatened to come as early as 27 weeks. Steroid shots, magnesium, terbutaline, blah, blah, blah... It's nerve racking. Congratulations on your daughter and I hope she speeds through special care and is home with you soon.

At 12:54 PM, Blogger signup said...

Congratulations on the new baby girl. It's wonderful news that things are going so well with an early birth! How's the big sister taking the news? I bet she's excited to have a little sister coming home soon.

At 3:28 PM, Blogger Pirre said...

Good to hear everything is ok.
Best of luck to all of you!

At 8:24 PM, Blogger Statlady said...

Best wishes and good luck, Dave. I'll hit up the pay button as soon as I get paid.

At 9:44 PM, Blogger Ryan said...

Good news indeed, Dave.

The baby of course.

Susan's friends; not so much.

I'm expecting a baby in the spring as well, so I wish you nothing but the best!

At 8:01 AM, Blogger David said...

Congratulations Dave!!!!!

The story was a bit frightening at fist but if the baby is ok all is perfect.
Congratulate Susan and give her my best wishes.

How did receive the "elder" sister the news? Have you thought a name for the newborn?

You know you cannot name it Jack Daniels, only hope you dont name her Bacon.

Jokes aside. Congratulations to both of you, and have a good time all together.

At 11:50 AM, Blogger Catwhoorg said...

Glad to hear the baby is doing well.


One minor thought, you had it bad when you were outnumbered 2:1 in the house.

Now you will be triple teamed.

At 2:29 PM, Blogger Shiros said...

Had to make an account just to say congratulations. Hope everything works out for the best.

At 2:56 PM, Blogger Jon said...


At 3:59 PM, Blogger Winterhart said...

Woah. Congrats, Dave & Susan! I hope she continues to kick ass and take names :D

At 6:50 AM, Blogger Darius said...

Glad to hear that all is well.

I imagine your spawn to be very tough if they are to be the heirs to the planet.

At 7:32 AM, Blogger Jguy said...

I really hope everything moves along with the baby as it's supposed to. You and Susan are in my thoughts in these weeks ahead. Best of luck to you and your family in this difficult (and stressful) time.

At 8:53 AM, Blogger Ken said...

"You know you cannot name it Jack Daniels,"

I don't know...Jackie Danielle has a ring to

Best wishes for a speedy recovery for the new one's health and your liver after the homecoming party.

At 2:20 PM, Blogger Lenwe said...

I think i almost cried... I said almost...

Congrats on the new baby girl. May Altana shine her blessing on her.

At 7:30 PM, Blogger ladydyani said...

Jesus, that's terrifying. Congrats on the new baby, and I'm glad everyone is doing well.

At 7:57 PM, Blogger Ice Princess said...

I too was born just short of three months preemie, and after the trying infancy I put my parents through I managed to have a normal childhood and grew into my adult self (no iota of a premature baby here)!

At 9:30 AM, Blogger martypc said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 9:35 AM, Blogger martypc said...

Best wishes for future progress.

On a personal note I think bacon is a good name everyone love bacon

At 10:42 AM, Blogger MJ said...

Congratulations and all my hopes and wishes for her complete recovery!

At 10:29 AM, Blogger Beunolas said...

Congrats on the new baby girl Dave. Good to hear she's doing alright and kicking some ass. Also, I second Jackie Danielle. If you don't use it, I'm stealing it. All the best.

At 10:08 PM, Blogger Jabbadoor said...

Congrats with the little one, and all the best for you and your wife.
I hope everything comes out on to for you guys :-)

At 4:06 PM, Blogger Caramis said...

wow, dave. congrats and our prayers are with you.

now um hate to point this out but ya do realize you are now seriously out numbered.. youll never see a bathroom again..

At 9:52 AM, Blogger codfish9306 said...

So glad to hear that she's doing well. Both of my younger brothers were premature and at-risk babies, so I know how tense those situations can be. Most enthusiastic felicitations to you and Susan on the birth of your daughter!

At 2:04 PM, Blogger Volkai said...

It's been a while since I last checked in with Bannable Offenses. I do so every few months, setting aside a nice block of time for it.

That can wait. For today, just this:

I am glad, very glad, that your daughter is doing well.

All the best,


At 4:19 AM, Blogger Pawkeshup said...

She's absolutely precious man!

Congratulations once again!

At 8:52 PM, Blogger Jaszon said...

GO DAVETE THE II. Kick some doctor ass

At 9:09 AM, Blogger Hylian said...

This is totally off-topic, but I still think Dave is the one who did it...

I just started final fantasy XIV the day it first came out for us preorder people. I create a character in ul'dah. i make my way outside the city, and what do i see happily waiting just outside the gate? a nice big hungry dragon-lizard killing people in 1 hit.


This HAS to be Dave's doing. I can see the blog title right now: Thinning the Herd with [GM]Dave. Funny part is I was not among the morons who got eated. I guess FFXIV's natural selection has proven I'm not completely functionally retarded. Except when my game crashes and I'm left in the game for anything to gnaw on my now zombied character. This is your doing Dave... I know it is... :)

Anyway, anecdote aside, I wish the best for you, Susan, nondescript heir #1 and ass-kickin heir #2. Props to dongtanker... my biggest insult of the week was cheese-hole. You win.

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