[GM]Dave Evolution
So, it seems a good number of my readers have been asking what I make of the new GM policies. As a matter of fact, enough people have e-mailed me that I felt the need to post about it.This should have two delightful effects:
1) it will enlighten you, my good reader, as to my own personal opinion on the matter
2) it will keep you people from cramming my inbox with e-mails.
Seriously. Stop.
Now, to my opinion.
*ahem*
Meh.
That's it. That's my entire opinion on the matter.
Meh.
I have to be more polite to people because it seems players were starting to worry about getting punished for making unnecessary GM calls.
I wonder where in the hell that came from.
But that's okay. I can totally be positive.
I'll smile and say thank you as I delete your character.
Hell, it usually makes me smile anyway.
And the returning lost items thing? Sure, I foresee that being the start of several headaches, but imagine all the fun I'm going to have with that.
[GM]Dave>> Hail, Adventurer.
[GM]Dave>> I understand you lost an item.
Player>> Oh please. You have to get it back.
Player>> I accidentally dropped my Peacock Charm.
[GM]Dave>> No problem, sir. Let me get right on that.
[GM]Dave>> Oh...
Player>> Oh?
Player>> What's oh?
[GM]Dave>> It seems I can't return your item.
Player>> WHAT?!
Player>> WHY NOT?!
[GM]Dave>> Well, each player only gets to do that once.
Player>> SO?!
[GM]Dave>> A month ago, you had an item returned.
[GM]Dave>> It was a...
[GM]Dave>> Sword.
Player>> ARE YOU KIDDING?!
[GM]Dave>> Did you really use your one ticket on a sword?
[GM]Dave>> I hope it's a freakin' good sword.
Player>> I want my charm back!
[GM]Dave>> I'm sorry. Rules are rules, you know.
[GM]Dave>> *SMILE*
There's only one problem I can predict...
[GM]Dave>> Hail, Adventurer.
[GM]Dave>> I understand you lost an item.
Jormungand>> Actually, I lost a bunch of items.
Jormungand>> They were on a Taru at the time.
[GM]Dave>> Again?
[GM]Dave>> How did you lose them this time?
Jormungand>> *burp*
[GM]Dave>> Sigh.
[GM]Dave>> Don't worry.
[GM]Dave>> Your items will be returned in 3-5 days.
Jormungand>> Really? Tha...
Jormungand>> Oh, that's not funny, you bastard.
Seriously, what did you people expect? That I'd run off shaking in a corner?
Hell no.
My cruelty cannot be constrained by some simple rules.
Besides, it just gives me room to be creative.
posted by Goblin Smithy @ 1:18 PM
70 Comments:
The only thing that makes these funny is how fake they are.
Dont force feed Jormy too much now ;) well... Maybe a little christmas meal is okay... Ah hell! Go feed all the servers to it.
Maybe if you spent more time shutting your mouth than spouting off useless junk, then you'd find it funny, Flotsam. If I every find out who you are on the game, I'll come MPK you myself. I don't care if I get banned as long as you die.
Talking Jormungand.
Yays.
I have no earthly clue what FFXI is, but I love this blog.
Flotsam can suck on Jormungand's balls.
Great post. Looking forward to my single lost item ticket.
least we forget in the middle of all this petty behavior....welcome back (gm) dave. wonderful to hear your voice again. my secret smile is now back in place.thank you.
yo i be wantin ta see where dat secret smile be at yo! izzit a vertical smile? i hope so holla!!!
Wodah said...
*sigh* People who make useless coments need to stop breathing.
Oh the irony.
Vatar said...
Maybe if you spent more time shutting your mouth than spouting off useless junk, then you'd find it funny, Flotsam. If I every find out who you are on the game, I'll come MPK you myself. I don't care if I get banned as long as you die.
Well since we are on different servers i dont guess that will ever happen.
Its just sad that ppl encourage bad behavior. There is only a couple of options here; 1 this person feels this way in real life and hopefully this is the medium in which to vent those frustrations, or 2 this person is over the edge and all these comments of encouragement are merely feeding to it.
Wodah said...
*sigh* People who make useless coments need to stop breathing.
Oh the irony.
Vatar said...
Maybe if you spent more time shutting your mouth than spouting off useless junk, then you'd find it funny, Flotsam. If I every find out who you are on the game, I'll come MPK you myself. I don't care if I get banned as long as you die.
Well since we are on different servers i dont guess that will ever happen.
Its just sad that ppl encourage bad behavior. There is only a couple of options here; 1 this person feels this way in real life and hopefully this is the medium in which to vent those frustrations, or 2 this person is over the edge and all these comments of encouragement are merely feeding to it.
Wodah said...
*sigh* People who make useless coments need to stop breathing.
Oh the irony.
Vatar said...
Maybe if you spent more time shutting your mouth than spouting off useless junk, then you'd find it funny, Flotsam. If I every find out who you are on the game, I'll come MPK you myself. I don't care if I get banned as long as you die.
Well since we are on different servers i dont guess that will ever happen.
Its just sad that ppl encourage bad behavior. There is only a couple of options here; 1 this person feels this way in real life and hopefully this is the medium in which to vent those frustrations, or 2 this person is over the edge and all these comments of encouragement are merely feeding to it.
Wodah said...
*sigh* People who make useless coments need to stop breathing.
Oh the irony.
Vatar said...
Maybe if you spent more time shutting your mouth than spouting off useless junk, then you'd find it funny, Flotsam. If I every find out who you are on the game, I'll come MPK you myself. I don't care if I get banned as long as you die.
Well since we are on different servers i dont guess that will ever happen.
Its just sad that ppl encourage bad behavior. There is only a couple of options here; 1 this person feels this way in real life and hopefully this is the medium in which to vent those frustrations, or 2 this person is over the edge and all these comments of encouragement are merely feeding to it.
Wodah said...
*sigh* People who make useless coments need to stop breathing.
Oh the irony.
Vatar said...
Maybe if you spent more time shutting your mouth than spouting off useless junk, then you'd find it funny, Flotsam. If I every find out who you are on the game, I'll come MPK you myself. I don't care if I get banned as long as you die.
Well since we are on different servers i dont guess that will ever happen.
Its just sad that ppl encourage bad behavior. There is only a couple of options here; 1 this person feels this way in real life and hopefully this is the medium in which to vent those frustrations, or 2 this person is over the edge and all these comments of encouragement are merely feeding to it.
Wodah said...
*sigh* People who make useless coments need to stop breathing.
Oh the irony.
Vatar said...
Maybe if you spent more time shutting your mouth than spouting off useless junk, then you'd find it funny, Flotsam. If I every find out who you are on the game, I'll come MPK you myself. I don't care if I get banned as long as you die.
Well since we are on different servers i dont guess that will ever happen.
Its just sad that ppl encourage bad behavior. There is only a couple of options here; 1 this person feels this way in real life and hopefully this is the medium in which to vent those frustrations, or 2 this person is over the edge and all these comments of encouragement are merely feeding to it.
LOL holy hell thats a triple double post. LOL sorry i can't remove my own post.
LOL holy hell thats a triple double post. LOL sorry i can't remove my own post.
Great fun, thank you all for that fucking loss of time.
Flotsam you gleam with intelligence. Please start a blog? Maybe even post the links here? I mean, why keep reading [GM]Dave blogs when he doesn't even exist? Hell, I'll even donate for the cause! You know you want to! Oh that's right- you're a fucking idiot. If I hadn't have read all of your posts again, I just may have forgotten all about that. Sorry for getting everyone's hopes up.
Flotsam IN! MagicNinja OUT!
flotsam, if you don't enjoy reading this, then stop. Real or not, this is the funniest thing i have read in awhile. I found a link about 3 days ago on allak, and haven't stop reading it. Now I do hate senseless violence, but maybe you should speak with jormy.
Oh... this should be good.
"Characters with antisocial or profane names are also prohibited."
Goodbye, emo Dark Knights :)
The jormy part made me rofl. XDDD
At first I was like ... But then, I lol'd.
Flotsam, I swear, some sort of pokemon like object of a name, or whatever you are, I have the whole "ppl" concept. Typing ppl means you're a total nubsauce. Here's a whole lot of haet.
"Its just sad that ppl encourage bad behavior. There is only a couple of options here; 1 this person feels this way in real life and hopefully this is the medium in which to vent those frustrations, or 2 this person is over the edge and all these comments of encouragement are merely feeding to it." -flotsam
Someone's got a psychology PhD!
Only they lost it in a sewer or something. Yeah. That's what happened.
But look! I can have a psychology PhD too! *puts on a hat with "psychologist" scribbled on it* Anyone who claims that the writer of a fictional blog set to entertain is frustrated or crazy is being introspective and looking upon themselves. And I declare, because I have a PhD in psychology, that anyone who makes a comment about making comments about making comments about blogs is silly and should just pick a side and kick the ass of the other side.
And what side shall it be? Flotsam's side or... everyone who's not a retard? Of course, there's the third side; the side of "I don't give a flying fuck and instead of wasting my time on the internet arguing about various things I'll go about my merry way," but I prefer to waste my time on the internet arguing with an asshole who for some reason seems to have a vendetta against fiction.
my bf linked me to this as he is a fan of urs Dave. And it is funny as all get out but.... I had to say while i appreciate how irritating gamers are, being a noob my self the superiority complex many gamers suffer from astounds me. It's funny to rag on a dope but not so sweet when u are new and being the dope. I hope u keep a sense of humor and *shrug* try a little tenderness.
Hey dave, just thought I'd leave a comment and say, hope you had a good christmas
Hi, i'm just here to defend James and his friend. No, i'm not james, anyways, it's not funny to say such things and waste ur time reading about him, sure go and enjoy yourself, by the way, by saying that someone is a retard, means he really sucks at english. And anyways, the people that keep saying you fail at life! ya sure, you havn't meeted them yet. My brother gave me this adress, and i went in on it, and readed about the things James said. I can't really understand how you can defend [GM]Dave, you all know it's not for real, seriously. I think he's just a stupid fag never reached level 75 and kept bragging that he's a GM, i bet you heard a Gm's problem and decided to start a blogg about it, you can't say people fail at life, i mean wtf. Your working in a game for god sake. You're the one that fail at life. I bet most will defend [Newbie]Dave, and say that i fail at life etc. Sure say that, but it's not true. I have a wonderful life. By the way i'm from sweden, make up something about that, please. I mean you keep making up things, just make up something else about this post.
By the way Dave, you sir, fail at life. That ain't a lie anyways, sorry.
Gl with your thief or whatever class you're playing, james.
Sure, he didn't do theese things, he's just a normal GM telling how he feels, but he don't dare to do thoose things because then he loose his job, The other "GM"'s can check the logs and then they know who he is, it can't exist theese things, seriously. If someone reports him he loose his job, and i bet many people should have reported him by now if he did thoose things he did.
Luther, please read all comments before typing. It's to stupid, and i guess u were GM for like Counter-strike or Cheater-strike, am i right? :)
And by the way, i created theese accounts to defend people, and just say how stupid you guys are. I mean come on, if he were a real GM he wouldn't do theese things, He would be banned a long time ago. He must makes the other GM's get lots of GM calls because people wonders if he exists. Yes he may exist, but he don't do thoose things. And Zephyer, you're just weird, totally.
Seriously, you are the kind of people who tells a 5 year old that Santa and the Easter Bunny aren't real. Just read and enjoy the stories, real or not, its still funny as hell.
Also, did you say that you created all these accounts to protect people. You did this cause you're bored, lonely, and upset that someone beat you to this idea, real or not. All complaints can be forwarded to our complaints department, would you like to speak with them............
You know... taken off of the FFXI website:
Game Masters, or GMs, are on hand to address any issues players may experience in the game 24 hours a day.
Note the word any, something to think about.
ok ok, I thought about it, and banning the person with the issue in a way does resolve the issue. In the sense that the issue no longer has any relevance. -_-
I love your work, Dave, this is the most awesome blog I've ever read.
Keep up the good work, you put a smile on all of our faces.
When it comes down to the schmoes that don't like your blog, they don't have to read it. If only I could find a ban-button in here too.
You are number 1, end of discussion. Without you unintelligent life, as we know it today, wouldn't exist. It would be severly worse!
I play WoW and ive been reading this since the start and never understood a thing of ff but 1 thing is certain... this blog is funny as hell
Really enjoy reading your posts, Dave. Hope the muse strikes you and you start posting regularly again. If not, many thanks for much entertainment. I hope you had as much fun writing as your fans have had reading the Adventures of a Game Master.
I miss Dave.
Happy New Year sucks w/o a drunken gm party ending in googillions of gillsellers being fed to jormy.
[GM]Dave, I've been reading your blogs forever.
They make me smile.
I've also started using "retarded" more in my everyday vocabulary.
It's beautiful!
I even made a blogger account just to say that you rock my socks to New Engand and back.
J'adoreā„
I miss Dave...
Bonus pack was awesome, but it saddens me to see no activity AT ALL. So what if you don't have a story? SOmething must of happened you can make light of!
HOLLA BACK YOUNGIN WOOOOO WOOOOOO!! HOLLA BACK YUNGIN WOOOWOOOOOOO!!!! mad azz skillz up in herrr up in herr!! yall gun make me go all owt up in herrr up in herrrr!!!! w00tay w0000000!!!!
davesucks said... "...sure go and enjoy yourself, by the way, by saying that someone is a retard, means he really sucks at english..."
Oh really? look what you typed
davesucks said... "...the people that keep saying you fail at life! ya sure, you havn't meeted them yet..."
Isn't it met?
and also you wrote
davesucks said... "...and i went in on it, and readed about the things James said..."
isn't it read?
davesucks said... "...I bet most will defend [Newbie]Dave..."
how original... :)
daveisafag said... "...i guess u were GM for like Counter-strike or Cheater-strike..."
haha real funny that was a knee slapper hahah... NOT! cause it really wasn't funny at all...
yar... telling other people to learn correct english and also flotsam ur an idiot too u posted the same thing 5 times... jesus christ, i dont think any of us here should be talking smack about each other cause everyone has their flaws... but i'm just pointing it out to the people who was offensive to gmdave because whether or not he is real it doesn't matter so long as he knows who he is...
kikadper said... "...Flotsam, I swear, some sort of pokemon like object of a name, or whatever you are..."
actually its neopets, i used to play it, but then someone hacked it and i quit :(
kikadper said... "...Flotsam, I swear, some sort of pokemon like object of a name, or whatever you are..."
actually its neopets, i used to play it, but then someone hacked it and i quit :(
lol at least i didn't repost 6 times :O
Right.
I may not have made this blogger account just to reply to [GM]Dave's blog, but it did strike me as one of the most important features of Blogger.com.
[GM]Dave, hear my plea...
I am one of your devoted fans. I check this blog once a day, every day. I do not know why you don't post new stories of retardedness and dragons, but it is worrying to say the least. Have you decided to stop writing? Or is it other things that prevent you from making us laugh?
Come back to us, [GM]Dave, and show us the way once more.
huhuhuhuhooolllaaaaaa!!!!! yo yo yo up in diz bizzle der iz mad fizzle cuz cricka cricka crizzle dumbooleealafizzle fuh junga jizzle burrupa mizzle ungajunga dizzle, rizzle!!!! ooooh snap check owt diz nikka dat can rap! hollllaaa bbbaaaaaaccccccccccckkk!!!!! wessiddddeeee!! w00t w00t 2007 baby wooo!!
Dave come back. You where my inspiration to start writing about my work. Come back.
Hm...Anyone think he is coming back? Been checking back occasionally. [GM]Dave is gone~
Quick! Someone get on FFXI and do stupid shit!
Prank Call a GM!
Scam everyone within 50 ft. of the Auction House!
DO SOMETHING TO GET HIM BACK!
paduse said:
I'd be missing you a lot more if I hadn't switched to WoW
If Dave were dead, that in itself would bring him back to wreak havoc.
Do you think a few donations could bring him back?
Quick everyone! Empty your pockets!
@ davesucks
wow thats the exact same post you put for another thread.....are we having creativity issue????
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
This is "[GM]Dave"'s wife I'm sorry to tell you guys but "Dave" died in a tragic car accident on his way to his parent's house for Christmas. T_T
I do hope that's not true. Sadly we can't tell, as its exactly the kind of comment some of the people here would post.
Until we know more, the vigil continues....
DB
Actually I just found out how to use that emotion thing.Also "Dave" never left his username and password on the computer saved to update the main page.
Um, its hard to believe.... since every time you type his name its in quotation marks....
Maybe theres a logical reason behind this or I'm just too tired and stupid at the moment from getting owned at a BCNM to see it lol.
You all are bastards if you say Dave died. That would really suck if he did. Dave is hilarious and very creative with his stories. The world would have lost a great mind and an amazing story teller. Come back soon Dave roaring with awesome story of banning or times at the office.
Do you think he would actually give out his real name or his wife's real name?
three reasons for Dave not to be dead.
1: A comment has been deleted after John and Shitomato's posts.
2: His wife would probably give more info about his death. "My husband died, yeah that sucked :(" doesn't look that authentic really.
3: He's awesome.
Yup and naritori said she did not have his password to change the main page with the news.
If you come back dave ill buy FFX1 just so you can ban me
yo dave iz dead yo. i kilt hiz azz cuz he banned me. AGAIN. hiz wife dont be carin cuz im dickin her up errday now!!! hollllllaaaa she luv da big blak dik wootay w00000!!!
considering he posted on FFXIOnline on 1/10/2007... I doubt that he died.
So far he hasn't 'quit' either, though I wouldn't be surprised if he announces a quit or large-scale cutback soon.
Hey,
Since Dave seems to be gone, I figured I'd shamelessly plug my ffxi blog, 'The Adventures of a Guy... Afraid of Adventures.' (http://pasqualeffxi.blogspot.com)
It's a disaster blog and I've gotten a lot of great feedback, so if you're looking for something new, check it out.
Start here:
http://pasqualeffxi.blogspot.com/2006/07/death-do-you-have-it.html
It's definatly my favorite entry.
Thanks,
-Pas
Theres always my blog too, but it doesn't seem like it gets many visits. I'll have a look at yours now Pasquale :)
This comment has been removed by the author.
This is a very interesting blog, I much never read blogs, but your's is probly the most clever and probly the most funniest out of all blogs that I have seen out there, keep up the good work and I will keep on reading.
Lol. If you played WoW you could kill people and not get banned for it. GM Dave should be a gm in WoW, you literally cant get fired for doing anything to people. Im a gm for WoW, I know this lol. It's wonderful =)
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