Sexual Harassment - Volume IINow, as some of you may remember, I have dealt with the topic of sexual harassment in the past.
At the time, I made it very clear that anyone stepping onto the intarweb, particularly women, have to expect this kind of behavior may occur.
I still believe this.
The problem, however, arises that many guys who act this way think I'm on their side. They think I'm condoning this behavior.
You should have known there was something wrong when you thought I was on your side. I'm not a "your side" kind of guy.
This kind of behavior does not belong in a public setting. As a matter of fact, this kind of behavior doesn't belong in any setting that doesn't involve dialing a 900 number.
I want you to actually think about what you are doing. You are sending unsolicited and usually unwanted sexual comments to a person you do not even know.
There are several problems with this:
1) There's a good chance this person did not request your sexual advances and will probably get offended
2) There's a good chance this person is someone you do not know and, as such, you are now harassing a complete stranger
3) There's a good chance this person has a penis.
When it comes right down to it, you're basically assaulting someone you don't even know.
Would you walk up to random women in the mall and start saying sexual things to them?
If your answer is no, then you shouldn't be doing it on the internet either.
If your answer is yes, then you shouldn't be breathing. Do us all a favor and please stop.
Harassing women or breathing. Whichever.
Some of you may be asking yourselves why I would come back to this topic today.
Well, it seems someone is possibly the unluckiest human being on our planet. He decided to mess with the wrong woman.
A smart woman.
A strong woman.
That's right. Some poor unfortunate soul made the mistake of harassing Susan. He must be either:
a) Incredibly stupid
b) Attempting suicide
c) Both a and b
So, I'm working very hard (read: sleeping at my desk) this afternoon, when I get a tell from Susan.
Susan>> Some guy keeps sending me sexual tells.
[GM]Dave>> Look... We talked about this.
[GM]Dave>> This is a fantasy setting.
[GM]Dave>> I can send you anything I want.
Susan>> Not you, stupid.
Susan>> Some other guy.
[GM]Dave>> That's... interesting.
[GM]Dave>> Where did I put that gun?
Susan>> What are you going to do?
[GM]Dave>> That depends.
[GM]Dave>> What did he say?
Susan>> Well... He said...
*insert offensive comments here*
[GM]Dave>> I think I'll start by killing his whole family.
[GM]Dave>> And his dog.
[GM]Dave>> Then, I'll see where my imagination takes me.
[GM]Dave>> I don't want to get ahead of myself...
[GM]Dave>> But I'm thinking something involving power tools.
Susan>> Just don't let him bother me again.
[GM]Dave>> That won't be a problem.
A few seconds later, I pull up his chat logs.
Not for proof, mind you. I'm going to print them off and wrap them around the incendiary device I'm mailing him.
I quickly find little Mr. Romeo and transport him to Mordion Gaol.
[GM]Dave>> Hail, Adventurer.
[GM]Dave>> Apparently, karma has decided to kick your ass.
Player>> What's going on?
Player>> What am I doing here?
[GM]Dave>> We have decided to isolate your from society.
Player>> What do you mean "we"?
[GM]Dave>> Did I say "we"?
[GM]Dave>> I meant "I".
[GM]Dave>> I decided to isolate you.
Player>> What did I do?
[GM]Dave>> Do you know a player named Susan?
Player>> Oh... Her.
Player>> We were just chatting.
[GM]Dave>> "Chatting" he says.
[GM]Dave>> Well, she has filed a report against you.
Player>> For what?!
[GM]Dave>> Harassment of a sexual nature.
Player>> We were just kidding around!
[GM]Dave>> That's funny.
[GM]Dave>> Know what else is funny?
Player>> That's not funny.
[GM]Dave>> Always makes me laugh.
Player>> This isn't fair.
Player>> She started it.
Urge to kill rising.
[GM]Dave>> That's odd.
[GM]Dave>> I'm looking at the logs right now.
[GM]Dave>> Unless "Get away from me, you sick freak" is starting it...
[GM]Dave>> I'd have to disagree.
Player>> This is so damned stupid.
Player>> I was just trying to get some.
[GM]Dave>> Well... I've got good news and bad news.
[GM]Dave>> Bad news is you didn't get exactly what you're looking for.
Player>> What's the good news?
[GM]Dave>> Good news is you are definitely f#*%ed.
Player>> Are you really going to ban me?
[GM]Dave>> No, no, no.
[GM]Dave>> Whatever gave you that idea?
Player>> That's good.
[GM]Dave>> Banning is too good for you.
[GM]Dave>> Instead, I'd like to introduce you to some of my friends.
Player>> Oh damn.
That's when six huge Galkas spawned in a circle around him.
In nothing but subligars.
[GM]Dave>> I've programmed these guys to constantly talk.
[GM]Dave>> About sex.
[GM]Dave>> You'll find they get quite descriptive.
Player>> That's just sick!
[GM]Dave>> I thought you'd like it.
Player>> How long is this going to last?
[GM]Dave>> From now until Japanese midnight.
Player>> That's not so bad.
[GM]Dave>> Japanese midnight, August 31st.
Player>> Don't you think that's a bit excessive?
[GM]Dave>> August 31st, 2017.
Player>> OH COME ON!
[GM]Dave>> I hope you boys have fun.
I think I could actually hear him weeping as he logged out.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go find a hardware store.