Et Tu, Brutus?
Okay, I'm getting ready to snap.As you all know, I am a model of self-restraint and patience. I always remain cool and level-headed.
Stop laughing.
But, honestly, I'm getting ready to throttle one of my co-workers.
Well... I'm not sure I'd call her a co-worker. Yes, she sits in the same room as me and has the same job title, but she really doesn't do that much work.
Unless her job description includes being an annoyingly retarded bitch.
Seriously, all this woman does is annoy the hell out of everyone. She constantly has to be the center of attention.
And that really isn't hard given the way she looks. I remember the first day I saw her...
[GM]Dave>> Hey, who's that guy?
Supervisor>> Her name is Janice.
[GM]Dave>> Her? Seriously?
Supervisor>> Yes.
Supervisor>> She's a woman.
[GM]Dave>> Seriously?
Supervisor>> Yes.
[GM]Dave>> Seriously?
Supervisor>> Yes.
[GM]Dave>> Are we talking an actual woman?
[GM]Dave>> Or will be a woman after the operation?
Supervisor>> I don't think we should be talking about this.
[GM]Dave>> Why not?
[GM]Dave>> Does She-hulk have super-hearing or something?
Supervisor>> This may be getting close to sexual harassment.
[GM]Dave>> Don't ever say the word sexual in relation to that thing.
[GM]Dave>> Seriously.
[GM]Dave>> I think I just threw up in my mouth.
I don't know exactly what's wrong with Sasquatch, but that "lady" needs to shut the hell up.
Dealing with her creates a dilemma within me.
Not a moral one. Oh, hell no.
I just have no idea where I could hide a body that big.
I'd drop her in the Pacific, but I think people would notice half of San Francisco being suddenly under water.
This morning, she managed to corner me and started talking to me.
This is an actual conversation I had with this person.
[GM]Janice>> Hi, Dave.
[GM]Dave>> ... Uhh... Hi, Janice.
[GM]Janice>> What are you up to?
[GM]Dave>> Well, I'd love to chat.
[GM]Dave>> But I was just about to go shove a pen through my eye.
[GM]Dave>> I should get on that.
[GM]Janice>> You're so funny.
[GM]Janice>> You kill me.
[GM]Dave>> I've considered it.
[GM]Janice>> What?
[GM]Dave>> Nothing.
[GM]Dave>> Nothing.
[GM]Janice>> So what are your plans tonight?
[GM]Dave>> I thought I'd try to drown my liver in alcohol.
[GM]Dave>> You?
[GM]Janice>> I'm not sure yet.
[GM]Janice>> My boyfriend and I are fighting.
Now, I have no idea why in the hell she's telling me this.
I would have asked, but this was a much more important question on my mind.
[GM]Dave>> YOU have a BOYFRIEND?!
Note to self: work on subtlety.
[GM]Janice>> Yes, I have a boyfriend.
[GM]Janice>> What does that mean?
[GM]Dave>> Oh, nothing.
[GM]Dave>> Is he by any chance blind?
[GM]Janice>> No.
[GM]Dave>> Oh... I get it.
[GM]Dave>> He's "special".
[GM]Janice>> HOW DARE YOU?!
[GM]Dave>> Don't look at me.
[GM]Dave>> I'm not the one taking advantage of the mentally challenged.
[GM]Janice>> I'M NEVER SPEAKING TO YOU AGAIN!
[GM]Dave>> Can I get that in writing?
She kind of stomped away after that.
It's getting so that you can't even suggest that the only way someone could be attractive is if the other person was devoid of any type of vision.
Women.
posted by Goblin Smithy @ 5:26 PM
9 Comments:
"I'd drop her in the Pacific, but I think people would notice half of San Francisco being suddenly under water."
That's the line that did it. A good laugh right there.
Man, if Susan ever got a GM position, I'd HATE to see how you two would react to each other at work... I mean, judging from this, I think it would be safe to say that you wouldn't be getting any for QUITE a while...
The whole thing was great! Starting with the first conversation got me.
Thanks!
BTW, it looks like you have some unfinished bold in this post.
Hm, never mind. Either you just fixed it while I was posting that, or my RSS reader (or Blogger's feed generator?) screwed up somehow.
dude I love this. It gets better and better.
Hey [GM] this is my first time posting here and i jsut wanna say hey and umm.. your funnyy... yeah that too. also i have a question for you seeing as your a [GM] ok so i lost my bokolet with my name PoL name and login info and my frined says that iw ill have to call tach support but they wont be able to tell me my logon info so i will jsut have to have them cancle the account (im like WTF! they can cancle it but not tell me the login stuff) and the go but it again. anyways any help would be apreciated oh im on ramah my name was chair i was an awsome twinked out RDM casue my best friend was teh roxxorz lol anyways i figured i would ask you becase there really arent may people to ask lol anyways thanks
ouch... guess i deserved that
The very day, [GM]Dave goes 'PC' is the day I stop reading this! If she DID have a crush on [GM]Dave, he'd be very flat methinks?
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