Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Welcome To Random

Okay, I don't even know how to preface this update.

Usually, I throw in a long piece about how such and such a thing is annoying/emo/stupid and how people should be suspended/banned/murdered.

I then go on to relate a recent example that relates to that thing.

But today, I had the most random GM call ever.

GM Call Description: Event problem. Player harassment.

See, now this seemed like my average GM call.

"Boo hoo, someone iz botherin mee."

And I don't really see how someone could be harassed because of the event. I mean, it's just some running around and goldfish scooping.

It looked like some dragon-related violence and a deluxe package were in order.

I logged in all ready to go. Had my dragon macro warmed up and everything.

That's when my brain got broked.

[GM]Dave>> Hail, Adventurer.
[GM]Dave>> You seem to be having a problem with the event.
Player>> Yes.
Player>> Other players are harassing me.
[GM]Dave>> Are they interfering with your event quest?
Player>> No, nothing like that.
[GM]Dave>> Are they verbally harassing you?
[GM]Dave>> I could check the logs.
Player>> Not exactly.
[GM]Dave>> Can I buy a freakin' vowel or something?
[GM]Dave>> I have no idea what you want.
Player>> Other players are bothering me non-stop.
Player>> It's making it hard to play.
[GM]Dave>> Just blist the players and move on.
[GM]Dave>> Christ, don't you people read the manual?
Player>> It's not that simple.
Player>> It's always different people.
[GM]Dave>> Why the hell are different people harassing you?
[GM]Dave>> Are you playing a Mithra?
[GM]Dave>> That shit is pretty standard.
Player>> No, I'm a Taru.
[GM]Dave>> Wait...
[GM]Dave>> What does this have to do with the event?
Player>> That's how they're harassing me.
Player>> They keep trying to scoop me.
[GM]Dave>> ...
[GM]Dave>> I'm sorry. What?
Player>> People keep coming up to me doing a scoop emote.
Player>> Then they say "Mystery box! Mystery box!"
Player>> I had to log in on my mule just to send the GM call.
[GM]Dave>> Why in the hell are they doing that?
Player>> Well...
Player>> My main character's name is Goldfish...
[GM]Dave>> ...
[GM]Dave>> I need to go lie down now.

What in the hell am I supposed to do there?

I decided that the best place to find an answer is at the bottom of a bottle of Jack Daniel's.

Apparently, the answer is drunk.

34 Comments:

At 1:18 PM, Blogger Jennifer said...

lol

 
At 1:39 PM, Blogger Onionsoilder said...

Nice one tao

 
At 1:46 PM, Blogger Kishani said...

[GM]Dave>> Why the hell are different people harassing you?
[GM]Dave>> Are you playing a Mithra?
[GM]Dave>> That shit is pretty standard.

I'll agree with that!

funny Dave, Thanks for the update, I was beginning to wish I had my own bottle of Jack here at work 'cause of no early update to get me going!

 
At 2:06 PM, Blogger freezinglimbo said...

Oh my god, that is absolutely priceless.

 
At 2:31 PM, Blogger CaesarsGhost said...

hahaha!

Classic.

 
At 2:36 PM, Blogger creature124 said...

FFXI+3 expansions: $60
Several months of fees: $58ish
A Taru named goldfish: Priceless

There are some things money cant buy. For everything else, theres your dads credit card.

 
At 3:02 PM, Blogger WHM of Death said...

Nothing like good ole "Uncle Jack" to find answers in life....

 
At 3:18 PM, Blogger azza said...

haha awsome mate. That was funny as

 
At 3:32 PM, Blogger Thistle said...

Ah, silly me reading this at work. I laughed out loud. Unfortunately.

It was worth it. :D

 
At 4:36 PM, Blogger shelby said...

oh my lord.

When you leave gm dave speechless you have serious serious problems.

 
At 5:04 PM, Blogger WanderingJ said...

What the hell kind of idoit names their character something as stupid as Goldfish???

Seriously... I thought I would've heard it all...

 
At 5:08 PM, Blogger Ridicule: Man of peaches! said...

Dave....I feel for ya, try some PEACH!!! schnapps instead.

 
At 5:47 PM, Blogger DeaconBlue said...

schnapps dont quite hit the spot like good ol' No. 7 :/

 
At 6:28 PM, Blogger Xen_the_monk said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 8:29 PM, Blogger Veinor Angiol said...

Wow... just wow. I have to agree. This left me speechless.

 
At 10:14 PM, Blogger Julia said...

:D

That made me giggle.

 
At 11:27 PM, Blogger FFXI_Akashimo_and_Nekoai said...

omg, that was priceless

/em gets his fish frying gear....

 
At 12:33 AM, Blogger Noruta said...

The simplicity of this singular post was something so magnificent, and something so remarkably entertaining I'm awe struck that a post and entry of this size could contain the complete amount of humor this contained~

I laughed harder for this one than any other entry before it. In fact, I'm laughing as I'm typing this, and I'm simply thinking about the post.

 
At 2:09 AM, Blogger Jack said...

Well, my WoW character is called Tomato.

 
At 3:06 AM, Blogger Artos said...

I can't stand this event. This is probably the best thing I've seen come from it.

 
At 6:02 AM, Blogger Layna said...

Oh my, very cute GM Dave. I actually seen someone named Goldfish on Laksimi server. Go figure, right?! (I know I butchered the spelling.)

 
At 6:42 AM, Blogger Bellemithra said...

HAHA! Nice one!

 
At 7:52 AM, Blogger Solid Squid said...

Hey, least it was more creative than Lord Demonthorne Blackass or Sephiroth or whatever else is emo standard


Not very *intelligent*, but still pretty creative

 
At 8:01 AM, Blogger Fircefairy said...

LMAO

 
At 8:14 AM, Blogger Wolftin said...

What did that person think a [GM] would do about that??? Change his name till the event ended?? For the love of god play along with something like that
/em breaks net and swims away

then /point /laugh and go on your way.

 
At 9:06 AM, Blogger dreamshade said...

Okay, I don't play FFXI, though I pick up on most of the humor pretty easily, but this is the first one that goes completely over my head. What happened here?

 
At 9:54 AM, Blogger duff said...

Ditto.. Sure, I can see that Goldfish is a pretty stupid name, but it seems there's more going on here that I'm not catching. Can someone explain?

 
At 9:56 AM, Blogger The Acting Bastard said...

His next incarnation will be SefirothBlackGoldfishara.

And he will

/em stares at his razor, smiling as it traces a thin red line around his wrist.
/em licks the blood off with a strange satisfied smile.

...seriously. Stupidity comes in stages. You got the early one. Next is the Emo stage.

 
At 10:19 AM, Blogger Kalina said...

To dreamshade and duff,

The event [GM]Dave is referring too is called goldfish scooping. During this event, you equip a net and a bowl (to hold the fish) and head outside of the cities and scoop up fish (goldfish and other types) in the rivers/lakes/etc. You then turn the fish into a NPC and get prizes (mask fireworks, more nets, or a goldfish set that can be crafted into a goldfish bowl). Hence, other players were trying to scoop up the player named Goldfish as a joke.

Hope that helped *^.^*

 
At 10:54 AM, Blogger duff said...

kalina - thanks, makes a bit more sense now.

 
At 11:42 AM, Blogger Nightwing said...

thats... an interesting event. What kind of idiot would name themself GOLDFISH? I mean seriously, wtf is going on in that guys head? Is he like, 7 or something?

 
At 7:53 PM, Blogger RetartedCJ said...

My Taru's name is Poptarts, everyone tries /em takes bite out of Poptarts. wherever I go. I think it's pretty funny.

 
At 12:46 PM, Blogger Isaac20 said...

[GM]Dave>> Why in the hell are they doing that?
Player>> Well...
Player>> My main character's name is Goldfish...
[GM]Dave>> ...


I had to read what he said three times before I believed it... Then I laughed so hard I fell out of my chair and rolled into the wall...

 
At 10:06 AM, Blogger Thomassamuel said...

Having trouble getting a credit card approved - try Skypoint credit card from delta and American express. You will surely get the approval for Skypoint credit card from delta and American express.

 

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