Sunday, August 13, 2006

Comments And Suggestions

It's time to make a very important clarification. This is something that seems to be deeply misunderstood among the FFXI community.

I'm going to try and be as clear as possible.

We really appreciate the feedback we get from most players. Your comments and suggestions are not only interesting, they help us make the game better for everyone.

This is good.

Unfortunately, you'll notice I had to say most players. This is an important nuance.

See, we get quite a bit of good feedback from players. But mixed in with the good and helpful suggestions is a dark undercurrent of rampant idiocy.

We enjoy hearing from players. Just as long as you're not absolutely retarded.

You cannot comprehend how stupid some of the suggestions are.

Now, my own personal favourite (read: exact polar opposite of favourite) of the stupid suggestions is the request to add Vampires as a new race.

Oh.

Dear.

Lord.

I'm sorry. I know you saw Interview With A Vampire. I'm sure you've read every Anne Rice novel.

I'm sure you even imagine what it would be like to be a vampire.

That doesn't make you retarded.

No, no, no.

That makes you retarded with too much time on your hands.

Listen. If you want to wear black clothes and paint your nails black and sit in your basement calling yourself Lord Darkness, that's fine.

That's your damned problem.

But when you step into my world and then tell me we should have vampires in the game, that becomes my problem.

I don't like problems.

It's bad enough I have to listen to you whine to your emo-vampire friends while you sit in the mall food court drinking an Orange Julius.

Don't bring that shit in here.

Day after day after day, we get calls and e-mails suggesting stupid crap like that. Today, I decided that something had to be done for the good of the community.

Okay... I just got sick of that bullshit.

GM Call Description: Player Suggestion- Make vampires a playable race

First off, the GM call command is not a suggestion box.

If your call does not include a serious violation of the ToS or getting stuck behind a table or something, you do not need to make a GM call.

You need a sharp blow to the head.

Second, this is not a suggestion.

This is a justification for murder.

Not that I've ever needed a justification.

But today, today someone was going to pay.

[GM]Dave>> Hail, Adventurer.
[GM]Dave>> Did Blockbuster run out of copies of Underworld?
Player>> No.
Player>> I own that movie anyway.
[GM]Dave>> Of course you do.
Player>> I wanted to make a suggestion.
Player>> We should be able to play as vampires.
[GM]Dave>> Let's try a little experiment, shall we?
[GM]Dave>> Open your menu.
Player>> Okay... Done.
[GM]Dave>> Scroll down to Help Desk.
Player>> Okay.
[GM]Dave>> Now, navigate to the GM call screen.
Player>> ... I'm there.
[GM]Dave>> Are you looking at the GM call screen?
Player>> Yeah.
Player>> I'm looking at it right now.
[GM]Dave>> That's good.
[GM]Dave>> Now, find the part where it says suggestions.
Player>> ...
Player>> ... Uhh...
Player>> I can't find it.
[GM]Dave>> That's weird.
[GM]Dave>> Neither can I.
Player>> It's not there.
[GM]Dave>> Huh...
[GM]Dave>> And what would that lead you to believe?
Player>> That you shouldn't send a GM call for a suggestion.
[GM]Dave>> There we go.
Player>> Unless it's important.
[GM]Dave>> OH!
[GM]Dave>> So close.
[GM]Dave>> Anyway, let's move on to your "suggestion".
Player>> Vampire should be a playable race.
Player>> It would make the game much better.
[GM]Dave>> I must assume english is not your first language.
[GM]Dave>> You confused the word better with the word dumber.
Player>> But vampires are so cool.
[GM]Dave>> So are strippers.
[GM]Dave>> But I doubt we'll make them a playable race, either.
[GM]Dave>> Hold on a second...
[GM]Dave>> I need to write that down somewhere.
Player>> It would add new dimensions to the game.
[GM]Dave>> I know, I know.
[GM]Dave>> But we'd have to add dollar bills as items.
Player>> Vampires.
Player>> Not strippers.
[GM]Dave>> I'm sorry.
[GM]Dave>> I was busy not listening to you.
Player>> You should take this seriously.
[GM]Dave>> I'm really trying.
[GM]Dave>> It's difficult.
Player>> This is a good idea.
[GM]Dave>> Maybe you should work on the idea some more.
[GM]Dave>> Then you could submit it as a formal proposal.
Player>> I don't really have time to work it out.
Player>> Between work and playing, I don't have much time.
[GM]Dave>> Well... I've got good news and bad news.
Player>> What's the good news?
[GM]Dave>> I think you may have some more free time soon.
Player>> Oh.
Player>> And the bad news?
[GM]Dave>> Do you like dragons?

There is a difference between making a helpful suggestion and rambling about something stupid.

If you can't figure out the difference, there's a very good chance you're not being helpful.

Before you make a suggestion, you should ask yourself two important questions:

1) Is my idea sound and logical?

2) Do I like dragons?

28 Comments:

At 8:19 PM, Blogger Likwid said...

Great post as always, keep 'em coming [GM]Dave!

 
At 8:27 PM, Blogger nano said...

[GM]Dave>> So are strippers.
[GM]Dave>> But I doubt we'll make them a playable race, either.

*coughmithracough*

I liked how Square answered the call for Necromancer with.. Puppetmaster! What would they do to vampires, make them drink milk and change into butterflies? Please do it!

 
At 9:38 PM, Blogger Nayathril said...

God. What an Idiot -.- Vampires? Yeah right. That would seriously suck. I mean. We already settled for Dark Knights. I mean. How emo do you have to be? What Next, Are the gunna ask for Scencter kids to be a New job? *sigh* :( what's becoming of the world?

 
At 9:48 PM, Blogger Flar said...

Great post, [GM]Dave. Say no to emo. Can't wait for tomorrows post.

On another subject, I've been reading your blog for months and a few days ago I bought FINAL FANTASY XI because of it. For anyone who cares, my characters name is Flar in world Bahamut.

 
At 9:51 PM, Blogger Bunny_Slayer said...

^^ [GM]Dave you can always make my shity days seam brighter

 
At 9:54 PM, Blogger Bunny_Slayer said...

flar said....For anyone who cares, my characters name is Flar in world Bahamut....

Why would you say that? That's like saying "I'M A NEW PLAYER AND WOULD LIKE TO BE FED TO A DRAGON!"....you said you read this blog and still posted that....

 
At 10:00 PM, Blogger WanderingJ said...

Aww... no actual Jormy-chomps today...

Oh well, can't complain. Another retard bites the digital dust.

 
At 11:07 PM, Blogger Daclivont said...

I personally like the idea of adding "Hobo" as a playable job...

 
At 11:26 PM, Blogger Suraht said...

Why would someone want to play a race that, if implemented correctly, could only be played half of the game time? I mean, Vampires and sunlight don't mix, correct?

However, if this were ever implemented, I would hope that all Vamps would be autoflagged for PvP(considering that they should have to feed on other players and all), all other classes would be able to unlock a Vampire Hunter job, and they would get hurt by Cure magic.

 
At 12:05 AM, Blogger Geo said...

[GM]Dave, you my friend have the power to heal me

your words make my days that less shitty

if I ever got a visit from you in game i would probably bow down in worship

keep up the good work

 
At 2:01 AM, Blogger Gryffon said...

now there's a question... if an idiot that Dave was about to smite prostrates themselves before him in worship (fear) of his godliness, would he show mercy (72 hour ban instead of deluxe package)? I'm thinking not, but it's an amusing thought for some reason.

 
At 2:09 AM, Blogger Jota Be said...


Player>> You should take this seriously.
[GM]Dave>> I'm really trying.
[GM]Dave>> It's difficult.


Dave, you really rehabilitated yourself in my eyes today. I have a soft spot for emos, but this degree of idiocy deserves deluxe package :D
And seriously, that adventurer really needed more free time... you are a merciful soul, after all.

 
At 2:42 AM, Blogger CaesarsGhost said...

Kick his whiny little EMO furry ass.

I hate EMO.
I hate Furry.
...sounds like you broke 2 birds with 1 stone.

 
At 3:26 AM, Blogger Citizen Bleys said...

Oh gods...if they made vampire a playable race, there'd be so many damn vampire drks out there my brain would explode.

And how much do you want to bet that every one of them would have a Last Resort macro that quotes that GOD DAMN Papa Roach song? I've never even heard it and I hate it.

 
At 4:28 AM, Blogger shelby said...

[gm]dave, you have such an ability to make a bad day look a little better. Thanks!

 
At 5:28 AM, Blogger Inia said...

While this wasn't exactly the suggestion, I now have disturbing images of Tarutaru vampires trying to suck the blood from people's ankles.

Time to get more whiskey and obliterate those brain cells before the images of Galka vampires finish coalescing.

Seriously, *vampires*? What kind of emo crack are these kids smoking?

 
At 6:00 AM, Blogger N.B.H.S. said...

Vampires already exist in-game. Every Dynamis LS has a handful; they're the ones that spend 90% of the time AFK, never land a hit, never bring meds, and always outlot you anyway.

 
At 8:49 AM, Blogger Zenomorph said...

[GM]Dave>> I know, I know.
[GM]Dave>> But we'd have to add dollar bills as items.


Hehe, well there are certainly Byne Bills!


Oh boy Vampires... Pft, while we are at it, lets make Fomors playable too. -.-;;

 
At 9:48 AM, Blogger Flar said...

Bunny_Slayer said... Why would you say that? That's like saying "I'M A NEW PLAYER AND WOULD LIKE TO BE FED TO A DRAGON!"....you said you read this blog and still posted that....

To tell the truth, I would WANT [GM]Dave to feed me to a dragon, as long as I'm not banned in the process. I mean really, I'm a low level so I die every two seconds anyway. So if I die to a dragon, maybe lose a level, but get to meet [GM]Dave. Also, I don't think he's ever killed anyone for being a fan and telling him who their character is?

 
At 10:22 AM, Blogger Wolftin said...

ROFL....Strippers.....OMFG...must stop laughing...at work...must stop.../dies of laughing at work

 
At 10:22 AM, Blogger Wolftin said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 10:40 AM, Blogger Geo said...

flar said...To tell the truth, I would WANT [GM]Dave to feed me to a dragon, as long as I'm not banned in the process. I mean really, I'm a low level so I die every two seconds anyway. So if I die to a dragon, maybe lose a level, but get to meet [GM]Dave. Also, I don't think he's ever killed anyone for being a fan and telling him who their character is?

i would have to agree, being lvl 8 blm (just came back to the game)i really wouldnt mind being fed to jormy, if it meant meeting [GM]Dave and maybe hopefully possibly killing some gilsellers i would take my eating with a smile on my face

 
At 10:42 AM, Blogger Geo said...

ps, im morana on quetzalcoatl if you catch my drift ;)

 
At 6:14 PM, Blogger Keilyn said...

Fantastic. The player was almost not stupid. The lack of a listing for what they want to do does not mean they do it if they really want to. Stupid emo...like nobody else has suggested this. Why on earth are people wanting things from other fantasy games in FF? FF is well established just like it is. You want other stuff play EQ2,or WoW or any other the other ones on your computer.

Good work as always.

 
At 1:52 PM, Blogger Aakawolf said...

...

Fucking emotards.

"Wahhh, wahhh, my life is one dark enshrouding shroud that enshrouds my life like a big black death shroud. I live in my parent's basement and never go outside in public during the day so I must be a scary vampire. I don't bathe regularly and listen to deep meaningful songs by Papa Roach and wonder why nobody else understands me or wants to come within smelling radius of me. My gaming group is just like me, alone, so alone, all twelve of us. We must be a clan of Vampires or something because all of life outside of our game and computers sucks."

...

*STAB*

X_x I swear, if they need yet another excuse to reinforce their own lame emo-tastic 'tard lifestyle, can we cull them like the over-populated undergrowth that they are?

Keep it going, [GM]Dave. Keep fighting the good fight. And by good I mean brutal. Fucking emotards.

 
At 4:01 PM, Blogger Zanbatou-sama said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 1:40 AM, Blogger Nyahnyah said...

Not that I'm defending vampiric "emotards" but: I find it amusing reading posts where people are complaining about whiney people but whining just the same.
I got my own gripes but DAMN, take a step back and stop being so hypocritical.
Already I'm a hypocrit, haha.

 
At 11:44 AM, Blogger notkesirahonest said...

I don't get it, why is vampires such a bad idea? Why have you made it out to be completely inappropriate to FF?

Did you never play FFVII?
Have you never heard of Vincent?

I dunno, right up until this point I thought you were an actual fan of the games too but now I'm less inclined to think so

 

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