Monday, August 14, 2006

EMOtes

It seems that this is becoming a spontaneous theme week.

I didn't wake up one morning and say "Hey, I think I'll do an Emo week or something." Apparently, the emo community has taken time away from dying their hair black and listening to bad music, to come out and piss me off.

Yay me.

Tonight's installment relates to one of the most heinous crimes that a player can perpetrate. It transcends such petty annoyances as MPKing, gil selling, or third party software.

It is the emo emote.

DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNN

I mean, what the hell is wrong with people?

The emote command was designed to add a new level of exposition to interpersonal communication. It was intended to convey emotions (hence the name) without dialogue.

It was NOT designed so that you can ramble on about how dark your whatever is or how your soul aches yada yada yada.

Seriously. FFXI is not the place for your emo stupidity.

That's what MySpace is for.

Do you have any idea how irritating it is to party next to someone using retarded emotes?

Do you?

Today, I was leveling one of my lower level jobs on my main and I was in a party just outside Dulkfutt's Tower in Qufim.

Everything was going smoothly until one of our melees had to leave. Something about having to go get his insulin or something.

Some people.

We quickly pick up a replacement and get back to work.

And then the emotes started.

Player looks up at the sky and shields his eyes.
Player shakes the blood from the blade.
Player>> Prepare to taste cold steel, Clipper.
Player raises his scythe in the air, watching it glint in the sun.

I think I actually blacked out there for a second. The depth of retardation actually caused my brain to reboot.

Once I had regained my senses, I quickly sent a tell to the party leader and then logged out.

A couple of key presses later and [GM]Dave appears in Qufim.

[GM]Dave>> Hail, Adventurer.
[GM]Dave>> I'm afraid I have to ask you to stop.
Player>> Stop what?
[GM]Dave>> The emotes.
[GM]Dave>> Your damned emotes are a crime.
[GM]Dave>> A crime against intelligence.
Player>> That's not fair.
Player>> I think they're cool.
[GM]Dave>> Just listening to you gave me a brain tumor.
[GM]Dave>> Now, I don't want to jump to any conclusions.
[GM]Dave>> But your emotes cause cancer.
Player>> Hey!
Player>> That's kind of harsh.
[GM]Dave>> Only kind of?
[GM]Dave>> I must not be being clear.
[GM]Dave>> Your emotes make people not want to be alive anymore.
Player>> It's a free country.
[GM]Dave>> Tsk, tsk, tsk.
[GM]Dave>> What are the schools teaching young people?
[GM]Dave>> This is not a free country.
Player>> Yes, it is.
Player>> America is a democracy.
[GM]Dave>> Silly, silly boy.
[GM]Dave>> This isn't America.
[GM]Dave>> Welcome to the United States of Dave.
[GM]Dave>> We put the fun in dictatorship.
Player>> There's no fun in dictatorship.
[GM]Dave>> You catch on quick.
Player>> Listen.
Player>> It's my emote.
Player>> I'll use it if I want to.
[GM]Dave>> Isn't that cute?
[GM]Dave>> I love it when they try and get tough.
[GM]Dave>> Say it again.
Player>> It's my emote.
Player>> I'll...

*warp*

Area: Mordion Gaol

Player>> ...
Player>> Oh crap.
[GM]Dave raises his finger in the air.
[GM]Dave holds it, carefully, above the delete key.
Player>> Wait, wait.
Player>> I'm sorry.
[GM]Dave watches his hand descend.
Player>> Please don't do this.
[GM]Dave>> The day's end is at hand.
[GM]Dave>> And by "The day", I mean "Your account".
[GM]Dave>> And by "End", I mean "Banning."
[GM]Dave>> And by "At hand", I mean...
[GM]Dave>> Well... That was what I meant.
[GM]Dave's finger waivers, a life hanging in the balance.
Player>> Can't you give me a second chance?
[GM]Dave>> I could.
[GM]Dave>> But this finger is getting awfully heavy.
[GM]Dave inhales oxygen.
Player>> Oh come on.
[GM]Dave thinks you're ugly.
Player>> Quit it.
[GM]Dave may have slept with your mother.
Player>> This is crazy.
Player>> You can't do this.
[GM]Dave's finger drops like the blade of a guillotine.
Player>> NOOOOOOO!
[GM]Dave was only kidding that time.
[GM]Dave got you.
[GM]Dave points at you and laughs.
Player>> Stop that.
Player>> At least you were only kidding.
[GM]Dave didn't say he was only kidding.
Player>> Yes, you did.
[GM]Dave said he was only kidding that time.
Player>> Damn.
[GM]Dave likes dashing people's hopes.

After that, the party was much quieter.

I like quiet.

47 Comments:

At 8:18 PM, Blogger redkinoko said...

Hahaha Emotards. Some people really should reconsider having kids. Our gene pool is polluted enough.

 
At 8:23 PM, Blogger Zychion said...

I don't know dude, but I think that was stupidly harsh. I mean, I agree on the stupid emo names. But what you stoned that guy for was role playing, not emo crap.

 
At 8:27 PM, Blogger azza said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 8:31 PM, Blogger azza said...

Banning the poor guy would be a bit harsh for roleplaying in a RPG.
Ok very harsh as it is what the game is for, however It was funny, especially if it was only a scare.

 
At 8:41 PM, Blogger azza said...

to redkinoko

I think the gene pool could use some chlorine.

 
At 10:59 PM, Blogger Airwave Angel said...

gotta agree with zychion.

while it may be kind of annoying, at least he wasn't roleplaying to NPCs.

nor did he get dragoned.

bit too harsh even for you :(

 
At 4:04 AM, Blogger Jhes said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 4:05 AM, Blogger Jhes said...

Was he Elvaan by chance? i dont know what it is, but it seems whenever i meet a dark knight with emo macros like that, they're almost always elvaan. I was leveling in yuhtunga a few months ago, i swear i wanted to rip out the intestine of the drk in our pt and use them to strangle him to death..

his Ws macro..

" yea tho i walk thru the valley of the {Shadow of Death}, i shall fear no *insert name of current mob here* "

And i haaaate.. people who use /say or /shout macros, the dooms is always the worst it seems.. i've seen monks in valkurm with /sh macros "Get over Here!" that make me want to warp and switch to a hi-lvl job and just train marchelute on them.


Keep up the good work [GM]Dave, a viral cleansing is just what the servers need.

 
At 6:41 AM, Blogger Wolftin said...

Ok this guy just needed a good old fashion dragon feeding. ;-; we have gone some time with out a feeding. Do you have Jormy on a diet?? Your emotes were freaking great though. Even with out the Emo crap that he had he needed to be feed for just actting like everyone in the game is in teh USA. Another classic for what seems to be "Emo Killer Week" on [GM]Dave. Not like there an any short supply -.-

 
At 6:46 AM, Blogger Thistle said...

[GM]Dave>> We put the fun in dictatorship.
Player>> There's no fun in dictatorship.
[GM]Dave>> You catch on quick.


I cackled out loud. :D

 
At 6:57 AM, Blogger kitty monk said...

EMOte = /wrist

 
At 7:31 AM, Blogger gatz said...

as one of my guildies on Wow said we should have an emo 500. give 500 emo's nascars and let them crash into each other catch on fire and die..make the world a better place

 
At 7:41 AM, Blogger Razmo said...

Im at a loss for words. The emote torture you placed on that player was EXACTLY the kind of torture we all go through listening to their retarded emotes in Qufim and the Dunes.

-Raz

 
At 10:02 AM, Blogger wan said...

You know,i noticed that there have been less comments compared to last time..Anyway,love your work as always

 
At 11:36 AM, Blogger creature124 said...

@zychion

does it say in the dark knights description 'dark knights are emo?' no it dosent, so therefore he WASNT roleplaying. get over it. geez.

 
At 11:39 AM, Blogger WanderingJ said...

Ohoho... MAN! I've been having a crappy day today, and you just made it all the better.

I'm still giggling as I type this. Nice work.

 
At 11:43 AM, Blogger Xen_the_monk said...

[GM]Dave>> Silly, silly boy.
[GM]Dave>> This isn't America.
[GM]Dave>> Welcome to the United States of Dave.

ALL HIAL!!!! [GM]DAVE!!!!!

 
At 12:07 PM, Blogger Justin said...

Er...he didn't once say anything about darkness, night, black, being sad, or how much his parents didn't understand him. I'm failing to see how this is even remotely emo and anything but a totally gratuitous (ab)use of abilities on Dave's part.

 
At 2:28 PM, Blogger Aylee said...

I concur. It was simply abuse on [GM]Dave's part, which made it far less funny.

However, by far less funny is still rolling on the floor holding my sides funny.

 
At 3:59 PM, Blogger Zychion said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 4:00 PM, Blogger Zychion said...

@justin & @aylee

I totally agree with your last statements. I don't think what they did was emo, if they were /sh then I would find it annoying, but still short of being emo. However, I still do find it funny, just I think it's wrong at the same time.

 
At 4:41 PM, Blogger Melina said...

yay [GM]Dave ridding FFXI one emo at a time! =D

 
At 5:47 PM, Blogger Dyamalos said...

You guys aren't getting the big picture. The thing about /em is that ANYONE withing the /say radius will see it. He was annoying not only his party, but the parties and players around him.

While it may not be a complete emo macro, it still would be annoying and could be considered harassment. Unless it's a macro for a 2H or any of the job abilities like Flee where you don't use it all the time, then I say it's fine.

Hell my NIN 2H macro is a shout of "What does this button do?!" but I don't use it all the time.

 
At 8:32 PM, Blogger Ridicule: Man of peaches! said...

THIS IS THE UNITED STATES OF DAVE!
NOW! Grow PEACHES!!!!!!!!!!!

 
At 8:52 PM, Blogger nano said...

Nice job showing him how emotes should be used.. or is that abused? You are lucky, us mere mortals have to survive with /blists.

 
At 9:13 PM, Blogger Zychion said...

@ Dyamalos
It never said he was using it over and over again. He may have just logged on and it was the first thing he said. Plus your saying that a /sh is better than using an /em? How the hell do you figure that?

 
At 9:25 PM, Blogger Simatumma said...

One of the best so far right here. The part when [GM]Dave says:
"Seriously FFXI is not the place for you emo stupidity.

That's what MySpace is for."

I couldn't stop laughing. I hate this damn MySpace trend.

 
At 12:22 AM, Blogger Pyro3000 said...

ouch man. that's just harsh.

I liked the slept with your mother emote though lol

 
At 12:54 AM, Blogger Pascal said...

what about just kicking the emo out of party? less time wasting :)

 
At 12:56 AM, Blogger Pascal said...

oh by the way, next time i'll read "Hail Adventurer", i'll start shouting that [GM]Dave is emo! :)

 
At 5:43 AM, Blogger [GM]Dave said...

Some of you are missing the big picture here.

Roleplaying is all well and good when it does not interfere with partying.

Someone using a four line emote macro everytime they have 100% TP is excessive. It becomes chat spam and is entirely pointless.

 
At 5:48 AM, Blogger Pascal said...

Someone using a four line emote macro everytime they have 100% TP is excessive. It becomes chat spam and is entirely pointless.

Do u have any idea about what would happen if you ban everyone doing pointless things? :)

 
At 6:11 AM, Blogger Jhes said...

Do u have any idea about what would happen if you ban everyone doing pointless things? :)

Yes, a quiet & fun game filled with less idiots.

 
At 7:23 AM, Blogger Aylee said...

Ah ha! You did not say that they were using a macroed emote, spamming as it were.

I think that is where we got confused.

*Aylee considers that a moment, playing idly with a chocolate button on her sundress*

Your anger is quite justified in that case. I must say, however, that picking on RP'ers is a bad idea. By definition, we are a very vocal and persistant bunch.

On the other hand, we are also usually too busy describing the things around us and our oh so sensetive feelings to actually *do* anything.

 
At 12:29 PM, Blogger Zenomorph said...

Many times over I see Dark Knights in West Altepa killing spiders... Seems like a gathering place to test their darkened introspective emo-tes >.>;;

 
At 12:51 PM, Blogger [GM]Dave said...

I don't pick on RP'ers. That would be kind of stupid.

This is a roleplaying game. People will roleplay. This is not rocket surgery.

I would, however, like it if people could pretend to not be retarded. It's when their natural stupidity shines through that I become angered.

 
At 1:09 PM, Blogger paduse said...

This guy was a tool, [GM]Dave was totally justified, I would have done the same thing in his shoes. Of course, I am the pot calling the kettle here, as one of my favorite aspects of this game is chat spamming. Especially when I've been drinking (or in an otherwise chemically altered state), I love to run around "/em pokes the kitty's tail" harassing and insulting other players... but it's funny when I do it, I swear.. it really is.

 
At 4:07 PM, Blogger Simatumma said...

I don't pick on RP'ers. That would be kind of stupid.

This is a roleplaying game. People will roleplay. This is not rocket surgery.

I would, however, like it if people could pretend to not be retarded. It's when their natural stupidity shines through that I become angered.


Who gave you permission to read my mind and post my exact thoughts? This stuff is priceless.

 
At 6:25 PM, Blogger Stocky said...

lolemo

 
At 8:27 AM, Blogger Fircefairy said...

I don't pick on RP'ers. That would be kind of stupid.

This is a roleplaying game. People will roleplay. This is not rocket surgery.

I agree,and the RPG part of it should not hinder the rest of us trying to enjoy the game.

I use macros to fight and have party only things that are short and intended to allert the party ONLY of my intentions. I confess I did get a bit cute on my MNk with *Altana!Guide my fists{Focus}
*You can't hit me!*{Dodge up}
Or *Hah! It was just a scratch!*(Chakra)~blush~

 
At 5:36 PM, Blogger SpraypaintHero said...

If you were in a party in lower Delkfutt's tower why would he shield his eyes as he looked up at the non-existant sky?

Also it would be impossible for the sun to gleam of his blade; its indoors. I mean come on he couldve at least changed that.

 
At 11:28 AM, Blogger Nightwing said...

While I do agree that his emotes were absolutely 0% emo in any way whatsoever, it was rather funny. In an abusive, sadistic way, of course.

 
At 1:48 AM, Blogger Nyahnyah said...

I gotta agree with Zychion. Back in one of GM Dave's early posts, he encouraged roleplaying on the parts of the players (though complained about GM's having to do so, lol).
The game itself is an MMORPG (emphasis on RPG). Often I see roleplayers get ridiculed for trying to add flavor to the game and personally (even though I'm not really a roleplayer), I think it's booty.
I'd choose an RPer anyday over a l33t-speaker (or whatever neat lil name they got for themselves nowadays).
Dave, calm down and reaffirm your own definition on 'emo', man.
Aside from that, it's still funny.

/em chuckles and sips his Rolanberry whatever number.

 
At 2:30 PM, Blogger Taeryunn said...

< rant>

I'm still a firm believer that people like this deserve whatever they get. Roleplaying in an MMORPG is fine. Roleplaying via macros in a party where you are pulling every 30 seconds.. and therefore hear the same damn sequence every 30 seconds... Even the most die hard roleplayers get tired of this crap.

It sounded cool the first time. It was old by the second. If you want to RP, get an RP linkshell and do it on missions/quests/events. Don't do it in a party. You are then assuming that everyone else in the party is a roleplayer who doesn' mind your redundancy and therefore will acknowledge how creative and cool you are.

From a fellow rp'er, just pull the damn beastie and get on with it.

And l33t speakers... just die a horrible death.. quietly.

< /rant>

 
At 4:30 AM, Blogger NightbirdX said...

Haha, I was leveling my Rdm in the Nuclear waste known as The Dunes, and everytime a mob would be engaged, this War would say, "Snipper! Prepare to meet thy demise." And then when mob died he would say, "May Altana bless your premature trip to the next life." I and another guy who had been playing for a few years, were talking back and forth and were like, "This guy is so the next emo Drk..." I asked him if his main was gonna be Drk when he got to level 30, but he didn't answer. :(

 
At 7:44 AM, Blogger brockbron said...

http://www.celtic-spas.co.ukStevie from http://www.celtic-spas.co.uk uk hot tub specialist.

 
At 8:24 PM, Blogger esusetain said...

Swimmng pool guys don't get a lot of hot tub chemicals till we get "really" famous - but we live and breathe our hot tub chemicals regardless. hot tub chemicals
Keith
http://www.onlinepoolchemicals.co.uk

 

Post a Comment

<< Home