EMOtesIt seems that this is becoming a spontaneous theme week.
I didn't wake up one morning and say "Hey, I think I'll do an Emo week or something." Apparently, the emo community has taken time away from dying their hair black and listening to bad music, to come out and piss me off.
Tonight's installment relates to one of the most heinous crimes that a player can perpetrate. It transcends such petty annoyances as MPKing, gil selling, or third party software.
It is the emo emote.
DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNN
I mean, what the hell is wrong with people?
The emote command was designed to add a new level of exposition to interpersonal communication. It was intended to convey emotions (hence the name) without dialogue.
It was NOT designed so that you can ramble on about how dark your whatever is or how your soul aches yada yada yada.
Seriously. FFXI is not the place for your emo stupidity.
That's what MySpace is for.
Do you have any idea how irritating it is to party next to someone using retarded emotes?
Today, I was leveling one of my lower level jobs on my main and I was in a party just outside Dulkfutt's Tower in Qufim.
Everything was going smoothly until one of our melees had to leave. Something about having to go get his insulin or something.
We quickly pick up a replacement and get back to work.
And then the emotes started.
Player looks up at the sky and shields his eyes.
Player shakes the blood from the blade.
Player>> Prepare to taste cold steel, Clipper.
Player raises his scythe in the air, watching it glint in the sun.
I think I actually blacked out there for a second. The depth of retardation actually caused my brain to reboot.
Once I had regained my senses, I quickly sent a tell to the party leader and then logged out.
A couple of key presses later and [GM]Dave appears in Qufim.
[GM]Dave>> Hail, Adventurer.
[GM]Dave>> I'm afraid I have to ask you to stop.
Player>> Stop what?
[GM]Dave>> The emotes.
[GM]Dave>> Your damned emotes are a crime.
[GM]Dave>> A crime against intelligence.
Player>> That's not fair.
Player>> I think they're cool.
[GM]Dave>> Just listening to you gave me a brain tumor.
[GM]Dave>> Now, I don't want to jump to any conclusions.
[GM]Dave>> But your emotes cause cancer.
Player>> That's kind of harsh.
[GM]Dave>> Only kind of?
[GM]Dave>> I must not be being clear.
[GM]Dave>> Your emotes make people not want to be alive anymore.
Player>> It's a free country.
[GM]Dave>> Tsk, tsk, tsk.
[GM]Dave>> What are the schools teaching young people?
[GM]Dave>> This is not a free country.
Player>> Yes, it is.
Player>> America is a democracy.
[GM]Dave>> Silly, silly boy.
[GM]Dave>> This isn't America.
[GM]Dave>> Welcome to the United States of Dave.
[GM]Dave>> We put the fun in dictatorship.
Player>> There's no fun in dictatorship.
[GM]Dave>> You catch on quick.
Player>> It's my emote.
Player>> I'll use it if I want to.
[GM]Dave>> Isn't that cute?
[GM]Dave>> I love it when they try and get tough.
[GM]Dave>> Say it again.
Player>> It's my emote.
Area: Mordion Gaol
Player>> Oh crap.
[GM]Dave raises his finger in the air.
[GM]Dave holds it, carefully, above the delete key.
Player>> Wait, wait.
Player>> I'm sorry.
[GM]Dave watches his hand descend.
Player>> Please don't do this.
[GM]Dave>> The day's end is at hand.
[GM]Dave>> And by "The day", I mean "Your account".
[GM]Dave>> And by "End", I mean "Banning."
[GM]Dave>> And by "At hand", I mean...
[GM]Dave>> Well... That was what I meant.
[GM]Dave's finger waivers, a life hanging in the balance.
Player>> Can't you give me a second chance?
[GM]Dave>> I could.
[GM]Dave>> But this finger is getting awfully heavy.
[GM]Dave inhales oxygen.
Player>> Oh come on.
[GM]Dave thinks you're ugly.
Player>> Quit it.
[GM]Dave may have slept with your mother.
Player>> This is crazy.
Player>> You can't do this.
[GM]Dave's finger drops like the blade of a guillotine.
[GM]Dave was only kidding that time.
[GM]Dave got you.
[GM]Dave points at you and laughs.
Player>> Stop that.
Player>> At least you were only kidding.
[GM]Dave didn't say he was only kidding.
Player>> Yes, you did.
[GM]Dave said he was only kidding that time.
[GM]Dave likes dashing people's hopes.
After that, the party was much quieter.
I like quiet.