Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Sexual Harassment

Okay. I get it.

Some girls don't like getting "attention" from guys in game. I mean, nobody would want that kind of harassment from random, anonymous internet guys.

But honestly, can you really say you're surprised?

Yeah, it sucks, but some online guys being perverts isn't exactly stop the presses kind of news.

So, when you choose to enter an environment that you know is populated with such guys at all times, you're opening yourself to that kind of behavior.

Is it fair? Not really.

Is life fair? Not really.

Is [GM]Dave fair? If you don't know the answer to this, welcome to the blog.

It just gets on my damned nerves everytime I have to answer a GM call from yet another girl who's upset over attention she didn't want and acting like this never ever happens.


Every single player, both male and female, knows that girls sometimes get the wrong kind of attention in game. Everybody.

Hell, I know guys with female mules that have gotten hit on.

One time, I even started sending tells to the other guy who was harassing a male LS member.

[GM]Dave>> Why are you messaging my friend?
Pervert>> I was just looking for sum butt secks.
[GM]Dave>> Do you want to hear the definition of irony?

This stuff just happens. It's just there. It's life.

So, when you send me GM calls about this crap, you really shouldn't expect sympathy.

Not that you should ever expect sympathy from me.

Just this afternoon, I got another one of these stupid calls.

GM Call Description: Female player being sexually harassed.


Maybe I'll get lucky and the servers will explode.

[GM]Dave>> Hello, Adventurer, yada yada yada.
[GM]Dave>> What's up?
Player>> Some guy just started sending me dirty messages.
[GM]Dave>> Wow.
[GM]Dave>> Were they any good?
Player>> ...
Player>> What do you mean?
[GM]Dave>> Were they hot?
Player>> Not really.
[GM]Dave>> Damn.
Player>> Don't you want to know his name?
[GM]Dave>> Not really.
[GM]Dave>> I don't swing that way.
Player>> I mean so you can punish him.
[GM]Dave>> That's disgusting.
Player>> Dammit, I want you to punish him.
[GM]Dave>> Are you coming on to me?
Player>> No...
[GM]Dave>> I put on my robe and wizard hat...
Player>> What?
[GM]Dave>> Nothing.
[GM]Dave>> Nothing.
Player>> Aren't you going to do something?
[GM]Dave>> What do you want me to do?
[GM]Dave>> Bow chikka wow wow
Player>> Oh god...
[GM]Dave>> Wait...
[GM]Dave>> I'm in your area, but I can't seem to locate you.
Player>> I'm near the AH.
[GM]Dave>> Too many people.
[GM]Dave>> What are you wearing?
Player>> Uh... my White Mage AF gear...
[GM]Dave>> Oh yeah, baby.
[GM]Dave>> Damn, that's hot.
Player>> This is sick.
Player>> I'm leaving.
[GM]Dave>> Oh. It's like that, is it?
[GM]Dave>> Seduce the innocent GM and then leave him.
Player>> What the hell are you talking about?
[GM]Dave>> It's too late.
[GM]Dave>> Just go.
Player>> You need help.
[GM]Dave>> Is that an offer?
[GM]Dave>> Bow chikka wow wow
[GM]Dave>> Hello?

Your tell could not be received. The player has logged out, cancelled her content IDs, uninstalled the game, and is right now smashing her modem with a ball-peen hammer.

[GM]Dave>> Dammit.

Seriously. You can't go out in the rain and then complain about getting wet.

Use your blacklist, tell him you're really a guy, do something.

Just don't call me.


At 4:48 PM, Blogger [GM]Dave said...

Before any females even start, I fully acknowledge that I am a terrible person.

It's part of the job.

Actually, it's question 2b on the application form.

At 5:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Girls are evil in FFXI. They purposefully accept all the help/money/gear you give them, then they tell you they have BFs irl, or that they only like you as a friend and to stop sending them /tells or they'll make sure you'll never be able to walk Jeuno in peace. . .

Girls are the leeches of FFXI >.>;

At 5:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

On the woman's side of this I'd like to say I've never accepted gil or items w/o first telling the person they don't have a chance in hell cuz i'm married in RL and my husband plays the game.

On the other hand. I hate some of the girls on this game. I even hate some of the manthras on this game. People seem to forget alot of the players are teenagers (read: walking hormones) and they can't help it sex is on thier mind 24/7.
GM Dave is so right. Girls/Manthras buy a clue. He's not your daddy fix it yourself.

At 5:11 PM, Blogger Shiphrah said...

Girls are not evil in FFXI. Most likely, the people you've come into contact with are actually male, and only want people to think they're female so that they can get free stuff. I have a male friend that plays a female character, has played since the NA release, and no one knows that he is actually a guy.

I'll admit, I get tons of help from people because I'm a chick. I've had people give me gil and gear before, but the reasons behind it had little to do with the fact that I'm female. It's simply because I've managed to become friends with some wonderful people who are willing to help out another person in need. I have returned the kindness I've been given, by helping out complete strangers.

Don't put this on the entire female population on FFXI. Put it on a few random female bitches, and a lot of males who get a kick out of acting like a woman so as to get attention and money.

At 6:13 PM, Blogger Keilyn said...

I'll second the guys acting like girls thing. It's one of those things that happens. Unless you do something like talk to the person on TS...you never really know. I personally rarely am given things in games, but when I am it's not because I asked for them or because I lead anyone on. It's silly to give characters things thinking it's going to make them have a relationship with you in the first place. -shakes head- There's a blacklist for a reason...anyone says anything to me inappropriate.... /ignore Works every time. =D

At 6:38 PM, Blogger seasons said...

[GM]Dave>> I put on my robe and wizard hat...
Player>> What?
[GM]Dave>> Nothing.
[GM]Dave>> Nothing.

Classic. lol.

At 6:47 PM, Blogger Reeree said...

[GM]Dave>> I put on my robe and wizard hat...

damn I gotta write down your names or something

At 7:06 PM, Blogger [GM]Dave said...

I couldn't resist that one.

If only I could have worked in the Rhinoceros.

At 7:07 PM, Blogger Reeree said...

Rhinoceruses don't play FFXI. They fucking charge your ass.

At 7:11 PM, Blogger J said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 7:14 PM, Blogger J said...

Female Character + WHM AF Armor = Sexy Eye Candy


Oh wait...I smell a GM call coming. I'll be expecting you soon Davey Boy.

At 7:35 PM, Blogger Kieko said...

You amuse me dave keep up the good work! lol

At 7:51 PM, Blogger catwho said...

Heh, one of the genuine reasons that I've called a GM. I was getting humped in an exp party by someone after I asked them to stop.

I'd expect it if I was a mithra (and hell, kinda encourage it on my mithra mule), but my main is a tarutaru. If I had been wearing Combat Casters instead of Seers, it would have been impossible to tell my gender at all . . .

At 8:11 PM, Blogger sevenpointflaw said...

"GM]Dave>> I put on my robe and wizard hat..."

OMG! That is one of -the- classic baiting lines there... I can't believe I just read that!

My eyes! Make them stop!

At 8:14 PM, Blogger HTL2001 said...

[GM]Dave>> I put on my robe and wizard hat...

I had to stop there for a bit, to avoid falling off my chair :D

Oh and one thing that hasn't been meantioned yet... Girls sometimes register male sprites to avoid harrasment. I know more of these people than guys registering girl sprites, and those guys never pretended to be girls ingame. Reason for this? well I always think its just if you're gonna be staring at something for the entire time your playing might as well be a girl :p

At 8:16 PM, Blogger Rich said...

[GM]Dave>> I put on my robe and wizard hat...
[GM]Dave>> Bow chikka wow wow

Those two lines alone make this the best entry I've seen yet. Hell, they're all good, but I just woke up my roommate from laughing hysterically.

Great stuff, Dave!

At 8:58 PM, Blogger GMDavesupervisor said...

Caution to this "[GM]"Dave:

Sry for being the party pooper but, IF you are really a GM, please make sure you do not put up any players' private information on your blog.

If you ever said the above stuffs during real GM response, you are doomed. I advise you follow the GM policy from now on.

Thank you.

At 9:01 PM, Blogger [GM]Dave said...


Just wow.

That was possibly the most idiotic reply that I have read yet.

You fail at life.

At 9:06 PM, Blogger Steve said...

That is pretty lame.

Seriously, I would cry if you lost your GM status. I don't even play FFXI and I would go out and buy it now if only to be subtly abused by you. Not really.

I'm cheap and stick to Guild Wars. Would transfer out, but I've got too many friends on it now. Can't just abandon them.... or can i? *rubs chin*

At 9:10 PM, Blogger catwho said...

I've seen Player and Pervert wandering around Lower Jeuno a few times myself.

At 9:21 PM, Blogger Araknai said...

Lmao, I too just woke up my room mate by laughing so hard.

At 10:32 PM, Blogger lesa said...

"Bow chikka wow wow"

fucking classic. i love it.

At 11:21 PM, Blogger Reeree said...

I can't decide what's funnier, [GM]Dave's blog posts, or the people who fail at life.

That's a total lie. [GM]Dave is funnier.

I'm going to bet that [GM]Dave's supervisor would know whether [GM]Dave was really a GM, and wouldn't have to ask. Think about that one.

tick tick tick tick... boom!

Aw! Now I'm covered in your exploded head. I hate that.

Also, [GM]Dave's real supervisor would not "Sry."

Not twice, anyway.


At 12:18 AM, Blogger pouinjai said...

In the females defense I have never accepted any gil/item from people.

And to GM dave, I know this was meant as a joke, but I seriously hope you don't think girls should "live with sexual harrassment" only because it's a "man's world". I worked at a place where we were a total of 4 girls in the building, and only 2 of us were feminine. It's not because I go work there that I have to live with someone grabbing my ass, or someone telling me about my rack.

At 3:59 AM, Blogger WindexHamster said...

"I put on my robe and wizard hat."

I absolutely fucking adore you for this one line alone. Perfect. Just perfect.


At 5:53 AM, Blogger Fircefairy said...

The Game life is very much like real life in the way people behave.
I am a female both in and out of the game,I HAVE recieved many gifts in the game (probably around 5 mil worth)but not a single ONE was solicuted!Go into Mog House and damned if there isn't something else there!
I have spent many many hours helping other people and this is how they try to *Do *something nice* for me.

Becoming ridiculous (not to mention making my husband jealous as he plays too)I simply send gifts back now with a polite /tell of thanks.
I do not even accept gil when I teleport people.
Hell I am a 75 THF...if I don't have plenty of gil NOW ,I am just one sorry ass THF!
I truly enjoy helping others,and since my Bazaar says*Fiercefairy loves Husband Zynn* ,and I have a damn wedding dress with a ring my sex is pretty obvious!
Many of these guys are *walking homones* (read teenagers) so I let a lot of stuff slide,but seriously....this is what we have a /blist FOR...people should begin using it!

At 7:59 AM, Blogger Inia said...

You think WHM AF is sexy? No accounting for taste I suppose.

My RL sweetie and the guys on the ls seem to prefer the RDM AF pants + harness look themselves.


Seriously, though, can't stand women who play the gender card to get gil/items/whatever. They give those of us who actually want to play a bad name. Not that I feel much sympathy for the guys who fall for this crap, either. Get a clue, fellas, and keep both hands on the (PS2 or Xbox) controller or keyboard.

At 8:18 AM, Blogger Jasper said...

your a fake...your not even a real GM

and if you were...you got fired

and if it isnt true....prove me wrong

At 8:20 AM, Blogger Jasper said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 8:45 AM, Blogger nonameanon said...

i bet Smithy has something to do with this :D

[GM]Dave>> I put on my robe and wizard hat...


@jasper: you fail...

At 10:05 AM, Blogger Pisces6 said...

First, about this post:

As a woman playing FFXI, I usually do not get offers of gifts or gil from people unless they are friends. (While I can think of a few instances, most gifts are from my boyfriend.) Usually it's the opposite; people ask me for gil. :P

Then again, my main character is a mithra, so I think people assume I'm a manthra, when in reality, I'm not. Frankly, I don't care; I love my mithra character just fine. ;P I don't go around flirting with others and asking for gil or gifts in return. (Yuck. >.< )

As for harrassment, I never really received any. ;P Again, maybe it's people thinking I'm a manthra. XD

Anyway, I'd just like to say that your posts have always managed to make me smile. Keep up with the good (or should I say evil?) work! =)

At 12:06 PM, Blogger Stephy said...

I remember when I played FFXI more, I ran around on my Taru mule, equipped with a subligar, humping everything in sight.

Even girls can be perverts. <3 Don't like it? Blacklist. But then again, that would be the easy thing to do.

While you're all at it, spell out your words for god's sake, this isn't AOL. [gm]Dave, you should impose harsher punishments for people too lazy to spell out the words 'plz' or 'thx.'

At 12:07 PM, Blogger Juriva said...

Many years ago when I started playing games, I knew that in order to make it as a girl gamer, I would have to play rough with the big boys or not play at all. Having now matured into a woman gamer, that's the mindset I take on when approaching FFXI.

It always makes me laugh when a male player decides to come on to me, and they're put off when I don't accept their help with something. This issue has come up many times in my tiny linkshell, populated about half and half by males and females: some of the females put on the air of, "Oh, look, I'm a girl, I can't even do cutscenes alone! Come help me, big strong man!" My lack of interest in the help of strange boys so that they can get some cyber gets me labelled a "bitch" and a "tease" and many other things, and it's unfortunate people say things like that, but whatever, that's their opinion.

When someone decides to talk dirty to me or make dirty emotes, the only effective way to counter is is to /blacklist them. Calling a GM over the matter of sexual harassment in an online game, although it is pitiable, will not get anything done. It makes my blood boil when it happens, and it makes me even more upset to know that there is no recourse for it, but that's life without the annoyance of litigation.

However, a word of caution to guys in games guilty of this: you're not impressing anyone by feeling them up with your keyboard. You're certainly not impressing them by getting off on your /emote humps and your Galka and Elvaan /huh motioning up next to my female Hume. As a matter of fact, it's a big indication that you need to go find a real woman made of flesh and blood and, hell, maybe even hold down a conversation with her.

Dave, I love you, horribleness and all. Please keep making me laugh at work.

At 1:00 PM, Blogger haxman said...

I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 10,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.

At 3:08 PM, Blogger Aakawolf said...

I love the people who attempt to "pwn" [GM]Dave in any fashion. I mean, seriously. I laugh so hard I nearly piss myself. These people are pathetic to think going to someone's blog and saying something like, oh, "u just lost ur job" (that took effort to type...), that a.) Anyone with half a brain cell will believe that tripe and b.) it will make any impact on the readers or writer.

I mean, honestly. There are no words in any known language to express the total lack of respect these people are asking for. There are no terms that could adequately demonstrate the stupidity, lack of creativity, and downright pathetic ignorance of these poor, poor dumbasses.

Fortunately, there are dragons.

I would like to add, for the "women are evil in FFXI" argument, that there are evil and good women everywhere, just like there are evil and good men everywhere, and to be ripped off by evil members of either gender is ultimately your bad. And in-game, sexual harrasment, while real, can be delt with without running and being a tattle-tale to the GMs. There are ways to just ignore the person. Accept some bloody self-responsibility.

It may make dragons go hungry for a while, but there will always be idiots, I suppose, so they won't starve.

And, [GM]Dave?

Thank you. You give me hope. In a sick sort of way, but hope nonetheless.

At 3:54 PM, Blogger Inariya said...

I -once- called a GM on sexual harassment two years ago because they were bothering some female character in the dunes (one of the new characters that didn't have a subjob) and then started to bother me.

Normally I've overlooked it or tried to get away if anyone tried to bother me. Even if I tell them to go screw themselves they'd still follow me around. But I've become much more of a bitch as of late. Even my friends who have girlfriends and know I hate it; I've been known to chainspell tele them then tele out and leave them there.

I've also threatened to leave dynamis if someone tried to sit on me. I might be a bitch! but I don't like even friends teasing or screwing with me. ^^

first time here, luff the journal, bookmarking, and thanks.

At 10:34 AM, Blogger Rawr said...

This one time, I was being sexually harrassed, so I called the cops. They told me that it happens, we all know it happens, and to just get over it. Then they dropped me off in the ghetto and I was eaten by a dragon. Bastards.

Shitty attitude, but this was damn funny as usual.

At 12:25 PM, Blogger Sir Leroy said...

i will let your pussy ass slide on this blog because i exceptionally like this blog. your shitty excuse for a life will be spared for yet another day.

At 2:09 PM, Blogger Izeil said...

You should put a disclaimer on the main page of the site: Warning! Stories can and probably often will cause involuntary loss of control over your bladder, thus resulting in the need to change your pants. Seriously, they're that funny. It's like Tucker Max with FFXI.

At 5:53 PM, Blogger Muerte said...

Ewww @ Guild Wars
Hey Dave if you get a lot of calls about this in Fairy it'll be me using your lines, but don't worry, I'll make sure to site my sources =D

On a side note, I have a mithra as my second character, for the stats, although I hafta say, I hafta lmfao every time a guy tries to hit on me, and I tell him imaguy lol you should see the responses

At 12:45 AM, Blogger Kylin said...

LOL this is pretty funny.

As a girl playing FFXI, I only depend on myself. I hate taking gil/items from other people. If anyone sexually harrasses me, I blist them. I am happily married (my husband plays the game too, along with his brother) and I don't even accept things from them.

Dave, keep up the good work. You make FFXI a better place to play in, and a hillarious place to think about when we read your posts here.

At 12:09 PM, Blogger Jivond said...

[GM]Dave>> I put on my robe and wizard hat...

GM Dave. i have to say, you ARE Invincible

At 3:42 PM, Blogger Noranda said...

I just thought you might find this pretty hilarious: http://www.little-gamers.com/comics/00001342.jpg

At 5:29 AM, Blogger Lokyar said...

No fair. Im totally a geek and this is the first time Ive heard that phrase.

[GM]Dave. You. Are. A. GOD! You are a psychotic raving genius on par with Madox and Seanbaby, and you make the internet a better place merely by existing.

At 3:09 AM, Blogger Ravenholm said...

I nearly fell out of my chair laughing, good work again, Dave.

At 6:08 AM, Blogger kalliope said...

"girls are evil in ffxi, they accept blablabla"...? so far EVERYONE complained that i dont accept any gifts at all... o.O you just cant do it right, can you?

At 12:10 PM, Blogger Fiaralle said...

I'm a huge fan of yours... sometimes I wish all GMs were like you. But for this comment I am lucky I do not play this game or you would track me down and feed me to dragons. Yeah, I understand guys are perverted horn bags, most of the time I'm right in there making dirty jokes with them. Yes I do get offended when some jerk messages me saying "will pay for cyber." It's when simply ignoring these types doesn't WORK because they will keep making/deleting characters to continue to message you and harrass you. Even send you mail if you simply log out. Repeat for EVERY female he can find. I'm sorry but at this point it's going to the extreme if you've done everything you can to avoid it... and GM's seem to think that maybe you should just stop playing the game rather than have some guy keep telling you to touch his ----. Or my favorite are the canned responses of "Ignore the player." Riiiight *reminds herself to send a box of laxative brownies to GM staff...*

*sigh* Anyway I know some people just need to be fed to monsters. It does however bother me in cases like that which the only resolve is for you to stop playing because some guy is breaking terms of service where "sexual harrassment is not tolerated" and yet... NOTHING not even a temp suspension is done to him.

At 9:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

[GM]Dave>> I put on my robe and wizard hat...

(Hi, I'm going through your archives after being referred here from another "blog")

Is it bad that I recognize this as a bash.org classic quote?

(Shall we now call you Bloodninja? :-)

At 11:29 PM, Blogger Orna said...

Hey Dave, I've been reading your blog since well.. since I started playing FFXI..

Yes. I'm a chick.
Yes. I was proposed to the first day i played.
Yes. He offered me a ring.
It was shiney.
And fit perfectly.

and matched my RDM getup smashingly.

However, no, i didn't accept or beg him to help me level or have him buy me shit.
Honestly. If you're female, breathing and simultaneously playing FFXI and you honestly believe you will not be hit on at least 80000 times a day...


You're a spoon.

My advice: grow a pair (of breasts, in this case) and get the hell over it and begin an exciting drinking game based upon the number of times certain players say such things as "bewbz, teh sexx, ladiez, girl, hot, etc."

Or just quit playing and become a nun.

seriously people. thats half the fun. the drinking games i mean. not the nun part. ::shiver::

At 11:11 AM, Blogger Orna said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 8:55 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Firstly I would like to acknowledge that this blog is satire and it frankly does it's job very well. So I am aware that this point of view is not meant to be taken in any serious capacity.

but I would also like to say that I have witnessed/been target of Sexual Harrasment on FFXI and it is not fun and definately is a punishable offence.
Yes, I'm a guy. yes my char is male.

Either way, nothing ruins a fun day of questing quite like haveing a party mate trying to initiate a cybering session with you. (And I was 13 at the time to boot) Now, whether the person behind the mithra was male or female I do not care. still creepy.

As for females getting extra help, it happens but I don't see it often. I'm more often on the receiveing end of help from others anyways. heh. (I'm a poor fisherman in the game.)

And finally: The insinuation that Males, either teen or adult, are incapable of not being perverts is quite frankly jarring. Make fun of the jerks and pervs sure... but don't generalise.

I would once again like to acknowledge that I am aware this is satirical. my comments are more blowing off steam in regards to certain social things.

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