Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Theme Week - [GM]Susan Vol. 6

Multiple Personality Disorder

It's funny... When you're out trying to find a suitable mate, you'd think people would tend to be attracted to someone with a similar personality.

That would make sense. Theoretically, if you have any intention of having an actual relationship with someone, you'd want that person to share similar opinions on important topics.

Nobody wants to be married for fifty years and then find out the bitch likes pineapple on her pizza.

F&%@ that.

So, the smart thing is to find someone exactly like you.

Does anyone actually do this? Of course not.

If people did the smart thing all the time, this blog wouldn't even exist.

Can you imagine?

Day 376

Player made a GM call for a valid reason.

I responded politely and helped him solve his problem.

No, people will more often than not (read: always) do the dumbest thing possible. When we're looking for someone, we will always tend to end up with someone who is basically our complete opposite.

How does that make any sense?

I love me. I honestly love me.

Who the hell wouldn't, right?


You're awful damned quiet there, you know.

It only makes sense that I would be attracted to someone like me. If I love me, I should fall in love with someone like me.

Not necessarily with the same plumbing though.

That's kind of a separate choice.

An optional package, if you will.

See what I did there?

Unfortunately, it seems my years of working with the functionally retarded caught up with me and I came down with the stupids.

I decided that the person who was best suited for me was a woman who wasn't even remotely suited for me.

Think that one through for a minute.

Okay, I will grant you, much of the decision making process did not involve critical thinking.

Except that critical thinking that occurs within one's pants.

But still, I somehow managed to fall in love with someone who is my exact opposite.

She's a good person.

I'm a bad person.

She likes to read.

I know how to read.

She likes spending time with people.

I hate people.

She enjoys crafts.

I hate people.

I know I said that twice, but I REALLY hate people.

This is the thing I don't understand. It doesn't make any sense whatsoever for me to be attracted to someone so radically different from me. It creates so many problems and arguments because we have such drastically different perspectives on any given situation.

It REALLY doesn't make any sense because she's perfect for me.

As much it might seem strange, I couldn't think, I couldn't conceive of someone more perfect for me than Susan.

Well... Maybe Jessica Alba.

Sorry. Pants thinking again.

It just doesn't make any sense. You don't see shit like this in the animal kingdom.

You don't see herbivores hanging out with carnivores.

Okay... They hang out briefly, but I'm talking about a relationship in which you don't end up digesting the other person.

Call me a romantic.

If I were to look at it from a purely intellectual standpoint, Susan would be so wrong for me.

So how in the hell is it that she's so right for me?




I'm serious here. I'm not even trying to be funny.

If any of you can explain this shit to me go right ahead.



Seriously... Just post it in the comments section or something.

Or... If any of you happen to know Jessica Alba...


At 6:40 PM, Blogger Matthew said...

first, and i would love to know her, when you rule the world hook me up, please oh lord and master

At 7:33 PM, Blogger Christopher said...

They call 'em the better half for a reason.

At 7:38 PM, Blogger Matthew said...

I know her, Savior GM Dave. Her number is 555-0123. She's waiting for your phone call.

At 8:06 PM, Blogger Paul said...

What Matthew there means, is 867-5309.
GM Dave, I think that your hatred of people wasn't expressed nearly enough here in Volume 6.
I mean, no one got eaten by a badass dragon, hit by a car, etc.

Furthermore, She shares SOME common ground with you, after all, she HAS let you live this long.

Think about how much she's put up with from you before you say you're completely dissimilar. :D

At 8:41 PM, Blogger Jeff said...

People seek out mates that are different because the complete them. People who are the exact same rarely ever become anything other then good friends.

At least, that's how I see it.

At 10:03 PM, Blogger Darlithia said...

Isn't there a little cliche phrase that fits here; "opposites attract", do I really need to say more?

At 10:25 PM, Blogger Nightmare said...

People are like magnets. You attract others who are different from you.

or if you prefer a less nerdy description, here's one from someone else

"When God created mankind, he gave each with a single wing. To fly, each person would have to find someone with the opposite wing."

ok maybe i changed that quote a bit but you get the idea

At 11:14 PM, Blogger Paul said...

Nightmare, are you indicating that magnets can fly?

At 12:14 AM, Blogger Michael said...

Thank you GM Dave, I now have Paula Abdul sining "opposites attract" inside my head.

Damn you!

At 4:32 AM, Blogger RurouniZanza said...

Nightmare was trying to quote Xenogears.

Well, you have spent 20/30+ years with yourself (How old are you anyways?). Wouldn't it bore you if you had to spend the rest of your life with someone like you?

The other person keeps things new, fresh and it shows how you could be.

If all else fails, just talk about FFXI with her.

At 4:45 AM, Blogger semele said...

People are like puzzle pieces. You just have to find the right fit. But trying it out is pretty fun too. :p And the pictures on top should be kinda similar too.

At 6:33 AM, Blogger Cidolfas said...

Wait... a comment from Xenogears is a *less* nerdy description? Geesh.

Anyhow, I think it's actually built into us biologically to be attracted to people different from us. (Hence "opposites attract".) It's about diversity. If something comes up - a threat or an unforeseen situation - you have not one but two different points of view. You have different strengths and can back each other up.

For example, when the situation calls for tact and diplomacy, Susan seems to be the best person for the job, whereas if it calls for opening a can of super-snarky sarcasm on someone who justly deserves it, you're the one to call. 8-)

At 7:58 AM, Blogger Kajeenith said...

"Everything is dual; everything has an opposing point; everything has its pair of opposites; like and unlike are the same; opposites are identical in nature, but different in degree; extremes bond..."

Quoted from the Fourth priniple of Summum, I think it explains it quite nicely as to why certain unlikely pairs are attracted. This is further reflected in the ancient concept of The Yin and The Yang.

Put simply, you became attracted to her, because she satisfies something within yourself, mostly of a more spiritual/Mental/non-physical nature, that you cannot satisfy yourself, nor find better satisfaction from with another. Thus blossomed love.

Though, Physical satisfaction is still a nice bonus. But love and marriage is about more than that. Otherwise we'd be no better than the animals in the wild.

At 12:35 PM, Blogger Mr. JJ said...

There is a very simple reason. However, it took me quite a while to figure it out.

If you ask a woman what she wants in a man, sense of humor is usually in the top three. How is it then that football players end up with cheerleaders?

Simple, it's nature.

The problem is that what she wants is an intellectual question but what she ends up attracted to is carnal.

The natural conclusion then...

Intelligence is Unnatural!

At 12:38 PM, Blogger james said...

Yall are making this way to complicated. We are talking about our lord and master Dave here.

Its quite simple oh merciful one, Susan knows how to work it. You enjoy it therefore your together.

I mean seriously ... she got dave to dance.... only one thing was able to do that.

At 12:40 PM, Blogger james said...

Mr JJ are you implying that football players are not funny? lol

At 1:05 PM, Blogger Mr. JJ said...

Well, our football players weren't funny, except during the games.

More likely, I've just got latent cheerleader issues.

Damned bitches! (Kidding)

At 3:21 PM, Blogger William said...

You know.. I'm pretty sure Jessica Alba plays on the Lakshmi server...

At 2:10 PM, Blogger Hetty said...

I think it's because your opposite usually compliments the traits that you're lacking. They do what you can't do. The problem with falling in love with someone like yourself is most people hate something about themselves and having a partner who has a trait you hate only makes it worse. You become hypocritical of the fault you both share.

At 8:28 AM, Blogger Cleopatra Wickerbine said...

They do say opposites attract.

Better yet, don't ask us, ask Susan yourself.

It'll probably go like this.

"Say, have you thought about why we're-HOLY SHIT, IS THAT A NEW[insert random new laptop brand here]?!"

And that's probably it.


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