Wednesday, November 26, 2008

A Gentle Nudge

As I mentioned the other day, I'm still waiting for last month's donator to get back to me with his ideas for a theme week.


This got me thinking... When was the last fan pack sent out?

I'm supposed to be sending these things out around every four weeks to the super awesome readers who donate to the blog.

Someone should probably be keeping track of that for me.

Funny story...

Today, I came home and said hello to my lovely wife. I kissed her and then kissed my daughter.

She said "Check your e-mail".

No "hi". No "how ya doin'?".

I immediately realized this was bad.

Uh oh.

So, I log into my e-mail and find a new message...

From Susan.

Hello GM Dave,

This is a not so friendly reminder from your lovely wife Susan that you need to get off your ass and start working on the fanpack. Last month's fanpack was sent out on October 28th and today is November 26th and you haven't even mentioned it on the blog.

If you want me to keep you around you better start bringing in all that money that I've come to expect.
Now stop procrastinating and do your job.


P.S. I love you.

This is the part where I point out that she's literally ten feet away from me. She could have just reached over and tapped me on the shoulder.

Not my wife. No, sir.

If that wasn't bad enough, she later showed me a Polaroid of my DS. She's holding it captive until such time as I produce an actual fan pack.

She hasn't stipulated if it has to be funny.

I'm not going to take any chances.

So... One week from today, I will be sending out a brand spanking new fan pack to everyone who donates $5 or more.

The pack will include my usual insanity, some articles about things only I would find interesting, and whatever else I think will help me get my baby back safely.

Usually, I wouldn't negotiate with kidnappers, but she is also my wife. I couldn't do anything else.

Also, the FBI told me they don't kill women for stealing portable gaming consoles.

I filled out the form and everything.

Stupid government.

And, as I've been doing the past few months, the person who donates the most each month gets special recognition. You can suggest story ideas, get fan packs you may have missed, have me kill a family member...

If you fill out the form.

Also, you get to pick your very own theme for an entire week. I write seven straight posts about whatever the hell you find funny.

You like Pauly Shore? I'll write a week about Pauly Shore.

(note: do not suggest Pauly Shore)

See? See how much I love you, my loyal readers?

Please help.

She scares me a little.


At 6:42 AM, Blogger Yuyu said...

Hi [GM]Dave,

it seems that Susan is the only one who can really handle you. Don't be scared, she's acting in your best interest. So make sure to provide her the money she needs. ò.ó


At 7:16 AM, Blogger Kahsha said...

lol damn!

At least she hasn't impounded your Wii as well.

At 8:20 AM, Blogger Blake said...

I shudder to think of the state of Vana'Diel if Susan had been made the GM.


At 8:53 AM, Blogger Tyler said...

Actually, I like Blake's idea.

[GM]Susan week!!

At 10:16 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

/em cracks the whip

That's my kinda woman. My guess, she's hiding somewhere either playing all your games (if she really does love you) and beating all your high scores, OR she's busy deleting all your save files...if she doesn't love you. >:D

At 11:12 AM, Blogger Bufuman said...

I came into this... comment area or whatever to suggest a week of Susan stories myself. Hell, you'd probably appreciate it, Dave. A whole week off from writing, to be spent drinking, feeding players to Jormy... uh, drinking... maybe some more feedings... then, er, some more drinking...

What the hell else do you do?

At 6:54 PM, Blogger Blake said...

You forgot Dave's world domination plan. ;)


Post a Comment

<< Home