Monday, December 01, 2008

Theme Week - [GM]Susan Vol. 5

Hey, guys. Dave told me that everyone wanted me to write a post so here I am.

I wanted to just mention how much I really appreciate the donations you guys make. The e-mail Dave posted the other night sounded a little harsh, but the harshness was directed at him to get him working.

Every donation we receive is amazing and I know how much it means to me.

Thank you.

I'm not sure how he does this all the time. Just thinking about hundreds (or dozens) of people reading what I write seems really intimidating.

I think the drinking helps him.

Me... I'm a bit of a light weight. I don't drink very much and, when I do, it's usually a girly drink like a Tom Collins or something.

On the other hand, I've never woken up behind our couch, so I guess there's something to be said for girly drinks.

I actually remember the first time we went out drinking together. It was a wedding and we were there with a bunch of friends. A lot of the couples were out dancing.

Here's some important information about Dave. He doesn't dance.

At all.


He always says it has something to do with people being retarded enough without setting it to music.

I decided the only way I was going to get him out on the dance floor was if I got him drunk. Very, very drunk.

At the time, I had no idea how hard that would be.

I told him I'd get the first few drinks and asked what he wanted. He said he wanted a Jack Daniel's.

I remember thinking that was odd.

It's funny how you look back on things and realize how naive you were.

And retarded.

I ordered his Jack Daniel's and had the bartender mix me a Tom Collins with no alcohol. Basically lemonade and 7 Up.

A couple of rounds like this and he'd be putty in my hands. I'd have him dancing up a storm.

Not so much.

After seven rounds, I was getting pretty damned sick of lemonade and 7 Up, and Dave looked like he was just getting started.

By this time, a few of the other couples had drifted off and I realized if we didn't start dancing soon, we wouldn't get the chance.

It was time to be direct.

Susan>> I want to dance.
Dave>> That's great.
Dave>> Have fun.
Susan>> Let me be more clear...
Susan>> I want to dance with you.
Susan>> Now.
Dave>> I agree.
Dave>> That was very clear.
Susan>> So you'll dance with me?
Dave>> Not a friggin' chance.
Susan>> C'mon. It's a wedding.
Susan>> Everyone is dancing.
Dave>> Hey, you're right!
Dave>> That's a perfectly logical reason to do something!
Susan>> Are you being sarcastic?
Dave>> Of course not.
Dave>> Hey, look at all of those people clearing tables.
Dave>> We should do that.
Susan>> They work here.
Dave>> But everyone is doing it.
Susan>> Fine. Fine.
Susan>> No dancing.
Dave>> See? That's better.
Dave>> There's a solution we can both live with.

This is where he thought he had won the argument.

Silly men.

Susan>> It's just too bad...
Dave>> Oh, here we go.
Susan>> Dancing always gets me so...
Dave>> So what?
Dave>> Happy?
Dave>> Energetic?
Susan>> ... Hot.
Dave>> ...
Dave>> So, are we going to dance or what?

Silly, silly men.

So easily manipulated.

I was just pulling him out onto the dance floor when I heard the DJ start a new song. At first, I couldn't quite remember what it was, but it was really familiar.

What was the name of...

Oh yeah.

Mony Mony.

Dave>> GET LAID! GET F&%@ED!

Apparently, people like to yell this during the song.

Apparently, Dave also enjoys screaming profanities into a wedding crowd composed of mostly elderly people and children.

We haven't been invited to a lot of weddings since then.

I almost didn't invite him to our wedding.


At 6:42 PM, Blogger Theo said...

Wonderful story. And nice to hear from you Susan.

At 7:04 PM, Blogger Kahsha said...


way to manipulate your man!!

At 7:26 PM, Blogger Richard said...

I think it's so cute you guys ever have the same writing style.

At 10:32 PM, Blogger Azophael said...

Well, i can totally understand the dancing thing. I don't dance either, i'm a man for hell's sake. Only women and gay people dance. Though i wouldn't be compelled to do that by promises of hot, hot sex. No, thank you, i don't wear collars and i don't bark.
By the way, shouldn't [GM]Dave call him John Daniels?

At 11:35 PM, Blogger Michael said...

I don't dance either, mostly because I'm like a wooden trunk with arms on a dancefloor.

But an energetic woman could very likely get me dancing too.

Haha, how simple we men are.

At 2:30 AM, Blogger Leanne said...

Just do it. You'll be rewarded.

Nice to hear from you, Susan!

At 6:28 AM, Blogger Tebian of Sylph said...

True love :)

At 8:30 AM, Blogger RamblingDreamer said...

It's like my husband always says. "Just married me."

God speed, Susan. God speed.

At 2:04 PM, Blogger Jedi said...

The yelling lines in the middle of Mony Mony came from the dance clubs/night clubs of the 80’s. Sadly every time I hear that song I have the urge to yell too.

At 3:06 AM, Blogger Tiborcz said...

HY all
i need to talk with a GM! ...
if you can send me a hungarian GM to talk! ... its urgent! ... thanks help!
- ubelievable story -

At 4:40 AM, Blogger semele said...

I'd never heard of shouting between lyrics, but did find a bit of history on it if anyone's interested here:

At 11:01 AM, Blogger Tyler said...

Y'know, I hate to bring this up, but what are the chances that Susan and Dave both type their blogs in the same way? I mean, the whole one-sentence paragraphs and everything.

At 5:41 PM, Blogger Snakebyte said...

Well, Susan could have told Dave verbally or written it on paper and Dave could have typed it up?

At 2:01 AM, Blogger J. Scarper said...

My sentiments exactly. What are the odds?


Well actually, we kinda do, when you think about it...


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