Friday, August 15, 2008

Things I Hate In FFXI - Vol. 1

I know I spend a lot less time talking about FFXI these days. But that doesn't mean it isn't near and dear to my heart.

Still, as much as I love this game, there are a few things that have always bothered me. You know, those little things that you kind of let go because it's just a game.

I don't let things go.

You're surprised, I'm sure.

One of the things that has always bothered me about the game is the nature of the drop system.

Now, don't get me wrong. I completely understand the drop system is designed to make you work for things.

I get that.

But why is it only some rabbits drop rabbit hides?

If I'm out farming rabbits to get rabbit hides, I'm pretty sure I'm going to pick targets that have skin.

I'm not an idiot.

Hell, I can see the things have skin when I run up to them.

How in the hell do I not get a hide every time?

[GM]Dave defeats the Wild Rabbit.
Oh... Hey... Yeah...
Apparently that rabbit had no skin.

This is probably where you're going to try and come up with an explanation.

Trust me, I've heard them all.

Maybe your weapon damages the hide and only occasionally are they salvageable.

Sure, that makes a lot of sense, right? You're killing little bunnies with a big freakin' sword. You have to expect a certain amount of damage.

But what about when you use other weapons?

Are you trying to tell me hitting a bunny with a stick is going to ruin the hide?

What about casting Water? Is this some new type of bunny that can't get wet?

Nope. Doesn't make any sense.

While we're on the topic of drops, what about finding random armor on animals?

Or keys?

Why in the hell are the beastmen forces leaving keys tied to random animals?

Orc1>> Crap. I need to keep this key safe.
Orc2>> Why don't you just keep it?
Orc1>> I've got a better idea.
Orc1>> I'm going to tie it to this beetle.
Orc2>> ...
Orc2>> This is why people think we're retards.

For those of you who don't play FFXI, let me give you an example to help you understand my frustration.

In a certain desert in the game, you can find a scorpion. A big, freakin' scorpion.


If you and your friends manage to kill this scorpion, he drops a really awesome helmet.

Now, at this point, you should be asking yourself why a scorpion drops a helmet.

Are you asking yourself that?

I don't know either.

Apparently, when someone was programming the game, they thought that scorpions should drop some form of headgear. Maybe they thought this was something scorpions actually did.

Guy>> Oh crap. I stepped on a scorpion.
Guy>> Wow. Look at this sweet hat I found.

Did we not have wikipedia back then?

I'm pretty sure I can check the entry and not see "Scorpions belong to the arachnid family and also carry hats around with them."

And nobody pointed this out to the guy.

It's not even like the scorpion drops part of the hat. Like he could have dropped a shell or exoskeleton or something that could be fashioned into a helmet.

That would have at least made some sense.

But no. He drops a ready made helmet. You scoop it up out of his tattered corpse and just slap it on your head.

It even has a chin strap.

Could someone explain this to me?

Honestly, I'm just sick of the whole thing. Make up some half plausible excuse about why only some tigers have fangs and why a ghost drops a cape, and I'll just believe it.

Seriously. I don't care anymore.

Give me something. Anything.

And why the hell does everything drop crystals? Who in the hell is running around just jamming crystals into pretty much everything?

Some of those bastards have five or six crystals in them.

Can anyone explain this shit to me?


I hate it when things don't make sense.


At 9:14 PM, Blogger Lady Kel said...

You know . . . it never made much sense to me either. And I'm prone to point things like this out in video games especially FFXI and Zelda.

It's probably supposed to be one of those times where you suspend your disbelief . . . I think.

At 9:57 PM, Blogger Lordshadow said...

I think the crystals are actually like... part of the monster's soul or something Dave.

At 12:05 AM, Blogger Nightmare said...

its uhhh magic?

At 12:25 AM, Blogger Dyamalos said...

perhaps when you salvage skin and other type stuff... you suck at it, so you tend to make a mistake and ruin it...

Or, a wizard did it...

As for the random armor, perhaps the beastmen are going around feeding random bits of equipment to monsters...

Or, that wizard is really bored...

At 12:35 AM, Blogger Will said...

I could explain the crystals, but it's rude to talk about what developers like to do in their bedrooms. Suffice it to say animals don't have pockets and they only have so many orifices to keep things in...

Do you really want to know where those crystals have been? Much less how they got there?

At 1:40 AM, Blogger Kenny said...

Now what we need to do is change the model of King Vinegarroon to have a really freaking sweet helmet. Then there won't be any questions about why he drops it.

At 1:46 AM, Blogger Jeannie said...

I finally decided that animals dropping armor is similar to the way they find human feet inside sharks. It's just what the animal hasn't finished digesting of the last warrior. You've heard of killer rabbits right?

At 2:51 AM, Blogger Psylex said...

Of course, Holy Handgrenade ftw.

At 4:31 AM, Blogger Adam said...

Someone didn't pay attention to their CoP/RotZ Cutscenes if they don't know where the crytals come from :P

At 7:48 AM, Blogger Bufuman said...

I have a great explanation for every single question you could ever have.

Final Fantasy XI.

At 9:09 AM, Blogger Rob said...

One thing that has always driven my wife insane is that bees in Saruta drop rabrab tails.

What drives ME insane is that I can magically teleport around the world, encase my weapon in fire,ice, what have you and ride a huge fricking bird, but I always get jammed up against a six inch high step in Ordelle's Cave.

At 10:05 AM, Blogger Music-chan said...

The thing that always annoys me most is when monsters don't have HEADS.

I can handle the whole "well, you mauled that skin beyond belief and now you don't get any, idiot" thing. Even spells can do irepairible damage. yes, even water. I mean, the water has to do enough to kill the monster, right?

But not having a head? c'mon. I can't believe you'd hit something hard enough that it's head is beyond recognition. Everything has heads!

At 10:42 AM, Blogger Daemien said...

as much as i'd love to believe that your weapon damages the skin too much, i find it hard to believe unless every character on the game (not just the player) is retarded as well. i mean come on, they do the same thing over and over again: kill the mob. you have to get good at something after doing it a bajillion times! you'd think your character would finally know how to kill a rabbit and keep its fur and such intact. how many rabbits have we killed now? and you're mad about scorpions with helmets? i'm mad about a beetle with a GREAT-AXE in it! how... wha... why?! (i speak of the panzer percival who drops the neckchopper) there's no way that axe could fit in there! a helmet off a scorpion... debatable, but a large 2-handed battle axe dropping off a beetle?! no freakin way...

At 1:05 PM, Blogger Allen said...

Perhaps the random equipment found in mobs is because they ate someone who was wearing it.
Then again I quite like Smithy's explanation that everything just kinda drops out of the sky. Think of it as a reward that Altana occasionally gives to people, but because there are so many people she can't reward everyone and misses people sometimes.
Of course by that logic, less people would mean better drops...

At 3:31 PM, Blogger Lordshadow said...

What I'm really mad at though is mobs that wear armor that they don't drop.

Yes. I am referring to the ToAU Fomors

At 6:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

He ate someone who was wearing the helmet.

At 6:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Rarab tails aren't really rarab tails. They are a kind of pea that's just *called* a rarab tail. Seriously read the description that's what it says.

At 12:37 AM, Blogger Dyamalos said...

Here's another one:

Farming in Batillia on tigers...

got bored so I used steal...

Land crab meat...

Even if you use the logic that it was something it ate...


Did I some how reach up its ass/in its mouth and pick out its undigested lunch?

Not to mention there are no crabs ANYWHERE in Batillia downs!

At 3:32 AM, Blogger Church said...

Actually there ARE crabs in batilla downs. Go near the necropolis entrace. As for everything else, hell if I know. Why does a tiger drop pants?

Even going on the theory that they ate a warrior and that's the undigested gear, why the hell does a CRAB drop a BELT. I have issue with a crab eating ANYTHING as big as a character. Not to mention if it's not fully digested fine, but it's still partially digested, and covered in acid.

At 7:29 AM, Blogger Matthew said...

It does seem to say that in the wiki article, Dave. Second or third line.

"Scorpions are also adept at dropping hats if you kill one"

At 8:54 AM, Blogger Lord Juru said...

Ah yes. And how about monsters carrying Gil? What do they need it for? Laundry?
Quick question.. How does one exactly get ahold of a application for game master? Id love to follow your footsteps. You are, my hero.

At 10:15 AM, Blogger Iris Caldor said...

I have come to suspect that monsters find the equipment laying around, think it's pretty and shiny, and pick it up.

Scorpion>> Sweet, I just found this helmet lying there!
Vinegarroon>> omg can i have it??
Scorpion>> 'k.
Vinegarroon>> i think ill put it on my stinger... there! dont i look so cute? =^.^=

At 8:35 PM, Blogger Alison the Amazing Thief said...

Maybe things just get stuck in crevices. Like cheese puffs in an fat guy's belly roll.

At 1:18 PM, Blogger semele said...

/does Christopher Walken impression

You see, Butch, this crystal is your birthright. Your father carried this crystal up his @$$ for three years...

At 4:09 PM, Blogger kineas said...

It also doesn't make sense when you use Steal on a rabbit, and you get hare meat, you steal it's meat?


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