FFXI =/= illegalPlease stop e-mailing me.
Yes, yes. I know you read that news story.
I read it, too.
Unfortunately, it seems far too many people didn't read it PROPERLY.
For those of you who either have not read the story or are afraid that the above link leads to a video of Rick Astley, here is the basic gist of the situation:
- boy buys FFXI
- boy plays FFXI
- boy decides to quit FFXI
- boy fails to read section in manual about canceling account
- boy fails
- boy's parents try to cancel account via phone
- boy's parents fail
- boy's parents take problem to state government
- state passes law pertaining to online games
- state fails
And that's basically the matter at hand.
- entire internet implodes
There we go. Almost left that one out.
See, this story started making the rounds of all the major gaming news outlets with flashy titles like "FFXI made illegal in Illinois".
That's a catchy title. It's quick. It's edgy.
It's not even remotely true.
The law as passed requires ANY online gaming service to have an online process by which to cancel one's account.
Gee, that would have been a great idea. We should have totally included that in the Playonline client program.
Oh... We did that. We already included an online process by which one could cancel their account.
Well, we should probably have explained the process in the manual.
We did that, too? Really? Right in the manual?
Maybe we could have included a message when you create a content ID that explains that you have to cancel all content IDs in order to close your account and avoid being billed.
That's a good ide... Shit, we did that, too?
You'd think we'd have foreseen this problem.
And then created a solution.
And then wrote down that solution.
Yeah, but now there's a law.
That we haven't actually ever broken.
My head hurts.
To further expedite the process, I have come up with a number of alternate solutions.
Solution 1) Cancel all accounts for people in Illinois
I like this one. It solves the entire problem and saves the residents of Illinois from our nefarious explained-in-depth-readily-available cancellation program.
Besides what the hell are all these people from Illinois doing playing FFXI anyway? Shouldn't you people be
watching John Hughes movies or something?
Solution 2) Deluxe Package
- nuclear weapon
- box slightly larger than nuclear weapon
- postage to Illinois
Solution 3) STOP MAKING STUPID LAWS!
Dear God! Did anyone do their homework on this before they passed the law?
Did you even read the manual?
I'm being silly. Actually reading pertinent information and understanding the situation would get in the way of passing laws.
We can't have that, now can we?
Did I mention that the boy's father happens to be a government official? That seems important.
Honestly, the whole situation just pisses me off. It's a stupid situation that lead to an even more stupid "solution".
And the worst part is that I'm sure there are intelligent people in Illinois.
Lots of them.
This kind of crap is going to give them a bad rap. A bad rap they don't deserve.
Okay, we're going to sort out the good people of Illinois from the bad people of Illinois. This will involve two simple questions.
Question 1) Are you from Illinois?
Question 2) Have you ever gotten a law passed because you failed to read a game manual?
If you answered yes to both of these questions, guess which group you're in.
Damn, I hate people.