Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Twist and Shout

After my last post, a few readers asked me what exactly constitutes a "stupid" Whitegate shout.

We're gonna need a bigger blog.

Something about Whitegate (and, by extension, Al Zahbi) just brings out the worst in people. Players who are usually more reserved with their outbursts just seem to lose their minds in such a busy city.

It's really kind of sad.

Now, I might not generally mind the shouting in Whitegate if it wasn't utterly retarded.

That's a mighty big if.

Thus, I give you:

[GM]Dave's Top Three Dumbest Whitegate Shouts

1) The "I don 't have any friends" shout

This is one a lot of people are guilty of. You've probably also seen it on a daily (or even hourly) basis.

Player>> (Insert name of incredibly difficult mission/quest) (( Do you need it? )) 1/18

This shout is telling the entire zone that you cannot collect enough friends together to actually run an event so now you're stuck trying to form an entire alliance out of thin air.

Hey, this event usually involves having a highly organized, well tuned HNMLS with a proven strategy for winning! Maybe I can duplicate this success with people chosen randomly!

Step 1) Shout.
Step 2) Shout some more
Step 3) ???
Step 4) Profit!

It's just that simple.

Also, saying 1/18 is just plain stupid. We know you're going.

You're the guy shouting.

Stupid.


2) The "This is ebay, right?" shout

I get the thrill of the deal. That moment when you buy something great for much less than it's actually worth is incredible.

For example, I like to bid low on AH items in hopes that I might find a huge bargain.

That's cool.

But every day, I see morons who just expect to have deals like this fall into their laps.

Player>> (Insert name of incredibly expensive item) (( Can I have it? )) (Insert insanely low price)

Do you think people are just going to give you things? Do you think people stand around hoping to trade their items for retardedly low prices?

Wouldn't they just put them on the AH?

Stop shouting. Not only will you not find a good deal this way, now everyone in the zone knows you're an idiot.

They probably shouldn't figure that out until they party with you.

While we appreciate the advance notice of your stupidity, please just shut up.

Stupid


3) The "Anything said right before a Besieged ever in the history of the world ever" shout

Hey, the beastmen are about to attack our city. We have to fight them off and protect Al Zahbi.

What should we do first?

That's it! Let's shout bad internet memes and popular cultures references at them!

You're a freakin' genius!

There are too many of these shouts to name, but here is a small sampling.

Player>> WARNING! INCOMING GAME!

Player>> GO JOE!

Player>> FOR FRODO!

If you have ever said any of these things ever, please do me the small favor of dying in a fire.

Feel free to shout stupid things while you do.

We get it, okay? There's bad guys coming. We have to fight them.

That's enough for us. We don't need you screaming quotes from Ghostbusters.

Seriously. When Besieged is about to start, just walk away from your computer. You can come back when it's time to fight.

Stupid.


I hope this has been educational for you. I hope you have either:

a) appreciated my perspective on shouts you also hate

b) learned that these shouts are not acceptable

or

c) died in a fire

Learning is fun.

21 Comments:

At 9:08 PM, Blogger quinn said...

im amazed, if that is the stupidest things you have heard shouted before the gates open

 
At 9:24 PM, Blogger Random said...

I think he got all 3 of those shouts within 5 seconds of logging on and then decided to write about them :)

 
At 9:59 PM, Blogger Fiye said...

>,>

Reboot reference FTW!

 
At 10:49 PM, Blogger Chris said...

Nice! Reference to Reboot, AND ZeroPunctuation! GMDave, you rock my socks off!

 
At 11:52 PM, Blogger Shinkada said...

Nope, sorry. I hate pop culture references as much as the next intelligent person (wherever he or she is), but Reboot holds a special place in my heart for being such a terrible, terrible show.

 
At 12:31 AM, Blogger Robert said...

Sorry to be nitpicky, but your autotrans bracket colors are backward. It's green-red, not red-green.

 
At 1:02 AM, Blogger Ikariko said...

I'm Guilty of #3, back when I would go to a Besieged.

I use to yell...

"DEFEND THE SNACKS!"

 
At 7:21 AM, Blogger Laserx said...

... okay, I admit shouting a few stupid things before a besiege, but at least I am not one of those complete retards who shout sexual comments when Medusa slithers into Al Zahbi... you know who you are. You can stop, like I will stop with the occasional stupid/random shout so that I don't have to burn in a fire.

 
At 7:27 AM, Blogger Eli said...

{Breads and Rice}

 
At 8:34 AM, Blogger Samantha said...

don't forget the people who do /random during the besieged cutscene over and over.

 
At 8:59 AM, Blogger Bufuman said...

And here I was planning to do the Reboot reference myself if I ever got around to Beseiged. Now I won't be able to do it without looking behind me for a big purple dragon. Wait, I do that anyway. This IS Dave we're talking about here.

 
At 11:57 AM, Blogger David said...

Love the Reboot comment, keep up the good work.

 
At 2:07 PM, Blogger Atomic Skull said...

Reboot actually got good from season 3 onward. That was when ABC dumped it and Mainframe Entertainment could actually do what they wanted without interference from meddeling executives.

Too bad season and onward never ran on north american TV, everyone there only remembers it from the first two crappy seasons.

 
At 2:08 PM, Blogger Atomic Skull said...

Also any show with Tony Jay is worth watching just for that alone.

 
At 2:20 PM, Blogger Christopher said...

For the like kajillionth time. Reboot reference was awesome!

 
At 3:00 PM, Blogger Aximus Lokar said...

"There are too many of these shouts to name, but here is a small sampling.

Player>> WARNING! INCOMING GAME!

Player>> GO JOE!

Player>> FOR FRODO!"

Player>> {overused '300' quote}

Also, Im putting that Reboot line into my pulling macro :p

 
At 1:48 AM, Blogger Sen said...

Oh please I can't imagine that to be half as irritating as WoW's [2. Trade] chat. Just imagine an entire server of idiots talking at once, most of them saying things like:

Anal [Regeneration]
Anal [Rupture]
Anal [Inspiration]

And at completely random times!

 
At 4:53 AM, Blogger Zombie said...

Oh come on, Reboot's first two seasons were awesome. Season 3 was "Snow Crash" meets "Super Human Samurai Cyber Squad". Except not as awesome as that actually sounds.

 
At 11:02 AM, Blogger Aen said...

I use to yell, "Today is a good day to die."

What the hell was I thinking...

 
At 3:09 PM, Blogger Music-chan said...

And yet...I'm horribly, HORRIBLY amused by the Reboot reference. Does this make me a bad person?

 
At 4:17 PM, Blogger RurouniZanza said...

Hehe, then you have the shouting votes on which General they like best.

Or comparing Medusa to Shakira.

And for some reason, people shouting about oreos in ever Besiged...

 

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