Thursday, July 31, 2008

Occasionally, people ask me if I ever participate in Ballista.

It seems some people want to challenge me without me using my GM powers.

That sounds really stupid. Why would I fight anyone without using my GM powers?

That's why I have them.

You don't see a professional boxer saying "Hey, it'd be fun to try fighting without using my hands."

No. They just punch people in the face.

I used to enjoy Ballista. Nothing like logging in and killing all the people I hate (read: everyone).

And they show up for it. Hell, they rush right on out for it.

That's incredibly convenient. It saves me so much time as now I don't have to chase them down before I murder them in the face.

However, you'll notice I said I USED to like Ballista.

I showed up one fine morning and noticed another Dragoon by the name of "Psylex" on the opposite team.

Now I usually don't duel other Dragoons. I play Dragoon and I really don't like killing one of my own.

We stick together. We're like a family.

Plus, I really hate watching wyverns die.

It doesn't make me cry, I swear.

Since I usually try not to bother (read: annihilate) other Dragoons, I started to keep my distance.

Then something weird happened.

This guy respectfully requested a one on one with me.

Respectfully...

How do you respectfully request a fight like that?

"Please, sir. Could you be so kind as to kick my ass?"

Still, I agreed since he seemed like a semi-intelligent person.

We head off to a secluded spot where we won't be interrupted by retards actually trying to score petras.

People who play by keeping score make me sick.

Anyway, we /bow, draw our weapons, and commence.

3 seconds later I'm in the dirt.

Psylex>> You should try getting some more practice in. You were kinda slow with the macros there.
[GM]Dave>> *grumble*

I get up, re-summon my wyvern and head back over to make him pay.

Oh, how he would pay. I was already imagining the terrible things I was going to make Jormy do to him after the match.

I'm kidding. I am a good sport about losing as long as I'm not the one doing it.

I'm kidding again. I'm never a good sport.

He would have to pay...

Round 2: This time I last 8 seconds.

I think because his High Jump timer wasn't up yet.

Psylex>> Not bad, man. Go again?

Round 3 doesn't go any better.

Nor do rounds 4 through 7.

Time to bring out the big guns. And by "the big guns", I mean my big purple dragon. And by "bring out", I mean feed.

As I drag over Susan's computer and log onto my GM character I get hit by an idea. Why bring out another dragon when there is already one flying over his head?

Yes, my brilliance amazes even me sometimes.

Psylex>> Hey, no hard feelings, right?
[GM]Dave>> ... Right...
[GM]Dave>> You sure did kick my ass.
Psylex>> Yeah, Nanaja and I make a good team.
Psylex>> We fight almost like one single entity.
[GM]Dave>> Are you a fan of irony?
Psylex>> What do you mean?

Nanaja hits Psylex for 10,946 points of damage.
Psylex was defeated by Nanaja.

[GM]Dave>> Now you really ARE one entity. Enjoy being digested.
[GM]Dave>> We should do this again sometime.

Screw family. The winner of any fight is the one who doesn't get eaten.

7 Comments:

At 5:47 PM, Blogger Eve said...

Now I won't be able to look at my Firewing without worrying that he might eat me. -_-

Not that I think I could possibly beat you in Ballista (I've never done it, since my 75 Taru whm main would still get eaten alive by just about anything in the game) and bring about such ire, but I'll just watch my back from now on...

 
At 5:52 PM, Blogger L.C.W. said...

Lols.

 
At 7:32 PM, Blogger Psylex said...

Ah, good times.

Dave, you still owe me that rematch...

 
At 3:22 AM, Blogger Drew said...

hahah "are you a fan of irony?"

 
At 1:29 PM, Blogger Leut said...

At least you didn't die to a puppet master.....cuz that would be gay as hell.

 
At 1:59 PM, Blogger Daniel said...

As a 75 Dragoon myself, that reminds me of fun times I used to have during Ballista. I enjoyed just Jump-killing White Mages healing my foe.

 
At 7:44 AM, Blogger Tebian said...

always lol +1

 

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