Thursday, May 22, 2008

Brain No Work No More

Susan is an incredible woman. She is beautiful and wonderful and amazing.

Okay, that should pretty much get me out of trouble for what I'm about to say.

I think she gave me an aneurysm last night.

She's said things before that hurt me. Every now and then, she'll make an offhand comment that will make my brain shut down.

Susan>> Do you want to watch this dancing show?

Susan>> I can't wait to see the new Sex and the City movie.

Susan>> Do you have to put bacon on everything?

One of the most "interesting" facts about Susan is that she has not seen a lot of well known movies.

Hopefully, she won't notice those quotation marks.

One that jumped out at me in particular was that she had never seen the Indiana Jones movies.



I mean, there are movies that no one would bat an eye at you not seeing.

But Indiana Jones?

Everyone's seen Indiana Jones.

Not Susan.

I felt this had to be remedied.

Actually, I just happened to notice Last Crusade was coming on TV, so I suggested we watch it.

I'll give her credit. Action adventure movies are not her style. I wasn't expecting a huge reaction.

I was simply impressed that she sat through the whole thing.

Then, as they rode off into the sunset and the credits rolled, I asked her what she thought of it.

She said something.

And my brain imploded.

I'm not kidding. There was a sudden snap and my brain actually imploded.

Colors faded.

My vision blurred.

Dane Cook actually seemed funny.

I hadn't expected much of a reaction.

She'd like it or she wouldn't.

That I could handle.

I was ready.

At least... I thought I was ready.

[GM]Dave>> What'd you think?
Susan>> I think...
Susan>> Tomb Raider was better.



At 6:45 PM, Blogger Lordshadow said...

I think in some states, that phrase is legal grounds for a divorce...

Also first NA Bastokan Hume Male Thief sub Dancer on Ragnarok who lives in Minnesota!

At 6:47 PM, Blogger George said...

Lordshadow: "FIRST"

Oh ffs...

Please stop this shit. Seriously. It's not cute, it's not funny, it's not OK just because Dave mentioned it in his blog. He mentioned it BECAUSE IT'S FUCKING STUPID.

Not because you should do it just because you get the first comment in his subsequent blog posts.

At 6:52 PM, Blogger Lordshadow said...

George: "Dickishness"

I know it isn't. I do it because I'm an asshole and have never gotten the chance to yet. Seriously, don't you have anything better to do than to criticize people on the internet. I mean, making a comment about the blog is one thing, but reading the comments and only making a comment about another comment. You're making Susan's Tomb Raider comment look intelligent >_>

At 6:53 PM, Blogger Frog Prince said...

"Susan>> Tomb Raider was better."

Oh. My. God.

When I started reading your entry, I didn't think it would be that impressive - maybe another fart one, I dunno.

But this?!

Seriously Dave, before you got married, you should have asked her about these things.

Just think about it, you're married to a woman who likes Tomb Raider - in some countries they make you walk around with a bell around your neck for that.

At 7:20 PM, Blogger Kevin said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 7:21 PM, Blogger Kevin said...

I haven't seen any of them...

Lordshadow, I think there may be more Bastokan Hume Male Thief sub Dancers on Ragnarok who live in Minnesota.
There are a lot of people in Minnesota, you might be the third or forth Bastokan Hume Thief sub Dancer on Ragnarok that lives in Minnesota.

At 8:18 PM, Blogger Chris said...

Last guy to give a shit about the first to be/do anything!!

This Indiana Jones thing is becoming an epidemic. Several of my employees said the same thing: "I've never seen those" or "What's Indiana Jones?" *DIES* ARRRRRRRGH

At 8:21 PM, Blogger J. Scarper said...

Screw the Bastok-whatever-the-hell.

There're more pressing matters to address.

Stuff like "TOMB RAIDER"?!


Dave, can I kill her?

Pretty please?


At 11:29 PM, Blogger Hawklord2112 said...

read... scroll
read... scroll

read the last line... *headdesk*

At 12:14 AM, Blogger Araamilofasura said...

Wow, Sadly the girl i like hasnt seen any of the indiana jones movies either, but on the bright side she doesnt think its better than tomb raider (not that she has ever heard of tomb raider). I am going to make her see the 3 original and the new one though (talking about indiana jones movies)

At 1:17 AM, Blogger Tim said...

what a sad world we live in...

At 2:35 AM, Blogger L.C.W. said...

That's like saying WoW is better than FFXI. Not cool, not cool at all.

At 4:35 AM, Blogger Tiranth said...

O.O Tomb Raider....better than Last Crusade?!?!?!?!?

Last Crusade in addition to being Indy has Sean Connory! Wow...I'm with you on this one Dave.

At 8:10 AM, Blogger The Ogre (aka, Matt) said...

Owch. I think my brain broke there too...

At 11:02 AM, Blogger jaeyde said...

l.c.w. Correction: it's like saying WoW is better than ANYTHING.

tomb raider? wow...

At 12:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I.c.w. At least WoW is a good game (just not better than FFXI)

The only way Tomb Raider could have been worse is if it were made by Ewe Boll.

At 3:09 PM, Blogger Nymph said...

World of Warcrap lol

At 3:37 PM, Blogger Max said...

The only rational explanation: Susan has an Angelina Jolie fetish.

At 3:42 PM, Blogger semele said...

Although Dave may be my slightly eviler twin, I am so the better wife. (And no, I don't do that particular thing you're thinking of either - you know the one. Yes, its still illegal.) I asked my husband to rewatch the Indiana Jones movies with me before we saw the new one because I didn't remember them - though I had seen them.

At 5:44 PM, Blogger Aen said...

"Susan>> Tomb Raider was better."

I actually twitched when I read that. More than a twitch... I would say full-on insanity-induced spasms.


See? There it goes again.

Dave, I hear the pillary is making a comeback. I recommend heavy usage of the pillary and repeated screaning of all three classic indy films until the aforementioned aneurysm-inducing statement is retracted.

I am not one to give marriage advice but... Tomb Raider? The line has not only been crossed, but slapped, shoved down, and urinated upon.

At 6:24 PM, Blogger Greg said...

my brain just imploded here aswell when i saw that lol

At 9:57 PM, Blogger Master Aspie Dave said...

Actually I've had an aneurysm, in a kidney, and even after they cauterized it closed, it didn't hurt as much as that one...

And to the Minnesotans, I wasn't aware anybody was left there. Or are you immigrants from Michigan looking for work or food? We don't have much of either here, anymore.

At 11:19 PM, Blogger Jacen Solo said...

*tick tock tick tock*


How the hell can Tomb Raider be better than the Last Crusade!?!?

I'm having brain hemorrhage....

BTW, Indiana jones soundtack is playing on my computer....

At least I'll die peacefully..

At 7:54 AM, Blogger Xolotl said...

Dave... I think it's time to find some more toothpaste tubes to be left open...

At 10:44 AM, Blogger Memphis said...

you should speak about how people with level 20> jobs have other chars with lvl 10> jobs....i think its a sign of retardation.... >.> latasha from pandy

At 10:44 AM, Blogger Suplyndmnd said...

Um, i actually happen to agree with Susan. Stay strong Susan! I was never impressed with Raiders. Tomb Raider (though, not a fantastic movie) I think was a bit better. Now, i'm talking about solely on the first Tomb Raider movie here. Not seen any others.

At 10:45 AM, Blogger Suplyndmnd said...

Um, i actually happen to agree with Susan. Stay strong Susan! I was never impressed with Raiders. Tomb Raider (though, not a fantastic movie) I think was a bit better. Now, i'm talking about solely on the first Tomb Raider movie here. Not seen any others.

At 11:05 AM, Blogger Zetsubou Sensei said...

WoW is better than FFXI
believe me epic mounts?
c'mon c'mon

EPIC MOUNTS!!!!!!!!!
WoW fricken rocks ladies and gents

believe me I've seen FFXI in action...and I mean its alright if you want to fight rocks

wtf rocks?
could've been a golem or an onyx maybe even geodude

maybe even the faggot new rock type pokemon

and chocobos?
it takes a month to raise a damn chicken
a month to raise a chicken
it doesn't even take a month to raise a "real" chicken
let alone a digital chicken

i mean sure maybe one day i might play FFXI when they release a patch that involves me fighting something other than rocks, walls, and sheep

seriously if I wanted to play garbage I'd play runescape

At 11:06 AM, Blogger Zetsubou Sensei said...

almost forgot the main topic

....i personally like harrison ford


At 12:00 PM, Blogger Sorvina said...

OMG, I just died a little reading that.

Then I read this.....
Zetsubou Sensei said...
seriously if I wanted to play garbage I'd play runescape


At 4:28 AM, Blogger Pawkeshup said...

Please, this has to be a joke. She means the games maybe? Please? Cuz maybe the games could be considered better.

It can't be the movies... I mean, the MOVIES?!!? Angelina Jolie running around spouting cheesy one liners and trying to pretend she has breasts the size of small children's heads? Granted the running is entertaining but...



I think this gives you legal right to kill her and no one would even question it.

Policeman> Why did you kill your wife?
Dave> Because she said Tomb Raider is better than Indiana Jones.
Policeman> Ok take the cuffs off, this was justifiable.


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