Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Stop Dying Already

I've always found it interesting how people just up and die playing video games.

Now, don't get me wrong. It's a terrible, terrible thing.

People just play a game for so long that they just up and die.

That's terrible.

It is, however, also terribly interesting.

What does it say about us as a society that people will sit in one spot playing one game for so long that they just stop living?

It says we make damned good games, that's what.

Wait...

That's not what I meant.

I think I find the whole thing so interesting simply because I don't understand it.

I mean, I get the desire to play for extended periods. I'll play for hours and hours on end. I will sometimes go hours without taking a break.

That's normal.

Well, I don't know if I'd call anything I do normal, but that's as normal as it gets for me.

But I'm pretty sure I'd stop playing if I started to... you know... die.

Player1>> Why are you stopping?
Player1>> Are you out of mp?
[GM]Dave>> No.
[GM]Dave>> I think I'm starting to die.
Player1>> ...
Player1>> Five minute break then?
[GM]Dave>> I'm seriously dying here.
[GM]Dave>> Let's make it six minutes.

Take a break. We'll understand.

You're dying. We don't want you to die.

Do you know how long it'd take to find a new party member?

Seriously. If you, at any time, feel your body start to die, feel free to take a breather.

Get a beverage.

We understand it's a great game. We totally get that.

But no game is worth dying over.

Sure, it makes for great reviews.

"Excellent graphics. Complex story. Made me forget how to be alive anymore."

Who'd argue with that?

Guy>> Hmm... This game got 4 stars.
Guy>> And this one is so good people die.
Guy>> Tough call.

But we really don't want people dying while playing a game.

Why not? Well, I'm glad you asked.

I don't care if you didn't ask. I made a list and you're going to read it, dammit.

Reasons Why You Shouldn't Die Playing Games:

1) You make yourself look stupid

This is possibly the dumbest way to die.

Seriously, when (or if) you get to heaven, no one is going to want to talk to you. You'll get put in the back with the morons who died in fireworks accidents.

2) You make us look stupid

Great. You were playing a game so long that you died.

Now, everyone who hears about it is going to think all gamers are absolutely retarded.

You're bringing down the team.

3) YOU DIED PLAYING A VIDEO GAME

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?

That's it. I'm going in tomorrow and proposing a change to the log in screen message.

We have no desire to see your real life suffer as a consequence . Don't forget your family, your friends, your school, or your work.

And stop dying, you morons.

12 Comments:

At 9:38 PM, Blogger Something Sarcastic said...

Someone actually died playing FFXI?

 
At 9:38 PM, Blogger Something Sarcastic said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

 
At 10:22 PM, Blogger Chris said...

Let's also not forget that the media will be all over a death like that like Jormy on RMTs.

And we'll eventually have to endure another round of Senate hearings on videongame violence and suicide, and a lot of so-called experts will pop up and it'll set gamer relations back ten years.

Or we could just have to listen to stupid stories about stupid people dying...whatev.

 
At 10:37 PM, Blogger quinn said...

any chance of a link to said tard's 5 minutes of fame? SOOOOOO glad jack thompson got disbared so he cant be all over this.

 
At 10:56 PM, Blogger Nik said...

I wonder what went through this failure's mind as he/ she read the log in message? It does say not to let your real life suffer.
Hmm... Where do you think dying fits into that?

 
At 11:19 PM, Blogger Psylex said...

I looked around and couldn't find any recent game-related deaths in the news.

 
At 11:49 PM, Blogger C said...

Baldur's Gate II had tips that showed during the loading screens. Most were "Trolls can only be killed with fire or acid" or similar, but one was "While your character does not have to eat, remember that YOU do. We don't want to lose any dedicated players."

 
At 5:26 AM, Blogger Little Miss said...

I found three cases but none of them are recent. (2002, 2005 and 2007)

2007: http://www.cnn.com/2007/TECH/09/17/internet.death.ap/index.html
Can anyone verify the date for me? I may just be reading it wrong.

Still pretty stupid, though. Jeez, no amount of ranting can even begin to express how laughable the concept of dying while playing is. Even for self-proclaimed game addicts (like myself), this seems incredibly.. Well, stupid.

Much as I'd like to rant some more, I think [GM]Dave in his greatness already outlined the key points.

..Jeez.

 
At 7:06 AM, Blogger Zombie said...

I've heard a few cases where people in Asia have died playing Lineage. Can you imagine dying for Lineage? It's like burning down a farm in the name of vegetable liberation.

The ones that anger me the most is when a baby dies because the parents were playing a game for weeks on end and didn't feed or change their child. There are not words to describe the things I want to do to those people.

 
At 3:43 PM, Blogger quinn said...

lineage 2 isnt that bad a game......really......*in denile*

but how does dying even happen while playing? i dont see how you can be in a group long enough to die...maybe pass out from lack of sleep, DC then eat breakfast then resume but dieing....wow.

 
At 8:22 PM, Blogger Richard said...

Don't act so stupid, you moron.

 
At 10:21 AM, Blogger Sorvina said...

*blank stare*

I've played till I had to pee so bad I thought I would explode, but damn, thats taking it a bit too far.

 

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