Stop Dying AlreadyI've always found it interesting how people just up and die playing video games.
Now, don't get me wrong. It's a terrible, terrible thing.
People just play a game for so long that they just up and die.
It is, however, also terribly interesting.
What does it say about us as a society that people will sit in one spot playing one game for so long that they just stop living?
It says we make damned good games, that's what.
That's not what I meant.
I think I find the whole thing so interesting simply because I don't understand it.
I mean, I get the desire to play for extended periods. I'll play for hours and hours on end. I will sometimes go hours without taking a break.
Well, I don't know if I'd call anything I do normal, but that's as normal as it gets for me.
But I'm pretty sure I'd stop playing if I started to... you know... die.
Player1>> Why are you stopping?
Player1>> Are you out of mp?
[GM]Dave>> I think I'm starting to die.
Player1>> Five minute break then?
[GM]Dave>> I'm seriously dying here.
[GM]Dave>> Let's make it six minutes.
Take a break. We'll understand.
You're dying. We don't want you to die.
Do you know how long it'd take to find a new party member?
Seriously. If you, at any time, feel your body start to die, feel free to take a breather.
Get a beverage.
We understand it's a great game. We totally get that.
But no game is worth dying over.
Sure, it makes for great reviews.
"Excellent graphics. Complex story. Made me forget how to be alive anymore."
Who'd argue with that?
Guy>> Hmm... This game got 4 stars.
Guy>> And this one is so good people die.
Guy>> Tough call.
But we really don't want people dying while playing a game.
Why not? Well, I'm glad you asked.
I don't care if you didn't ask. I made a list and you're going to read it, dammit.
Reasons Why You Shouldn't Die Playing Games:
1) You make yourself look stupid
This is possibly the dumbest way to die.
Seriously, when (or if) you get to heaven, no one is going to want to talk to you. You'll get put in the back with the morons who died in fireworks accidents.
2) You make us look stupid
Great. You were playing a game so long that you died.
Now, everyone who hears about it is going to think all gamers are absolutely retarded.
You're bringing down the team.
3) YOU DIED PLAYING A VIDEO GAME
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?
That's it. I'm going in tomorrow and proposing a change to the log in screen message.
We have no desire to see your real life suffer as a consequence . Don't forget your family, your friends, your school, or your work.
And stop dying, you morons.