[GM]Dave For President!A few readers have asked me what I think about politics.
I get that. I am obviously a perfectly well-adjusted human being who considers all things logically before taking action. It is only logical that you would want my opinion.
Do you know what I think about politics?
Not a bit.
Politics basically amounts to an orgy. There's a lot of posturing and everyone ends up getting screwed in the end.
Then Eliot Spitzer pays someone $4000.
Bah dump pssshhhh.
I don't understand politics.
I understand the basic themes of power and control. I understand the whole kissing hands and shaking babies bit.
That all makes sense.
These people are fighting to be the person in charge of running an entire country.
Possibly into the ground.
I get the campaigning and the lying. I get the unrealistic promises everyone makes.
Someone else is trying to get your job.
You know you're going to throw down.
Who hasn't gone to a job interview and told the interviewer that the other guy was hot shotting heroin in the waiting room?
Only me then?
That's fine. Getting hired based on your actual marketable skills is for suckers.
See, I get all that stuff about politics. That's all normal.
I just don't get why anyone would vote for anybody.
It's like you're trying to figure out who's going to screw us over the least.
All that other stuff is just smoke and mirrors.
You want my opinion?
Try to figure out which candidate is least likely to mess with video games.
That might not seem important, but it would be good enough for me.
I don't ask for much.
Here's the list:
a) don't burn the place down
b) don't mess with video games
Promise me that and you can have my vote.
I don't care if you're running for prom king.
That's all I really want.
c) national [GM]Dave holiday
Is that too much to ask?
It'd be like St. Patrick's Day.
With more drinking.
Maybe I should run for president.