Tuesday, May 13, 2008

[GM]Dave For President!

A few readers have asked me what I think about politics.

I get that. I am obviously a perfectly well-adjusted human being who considers all things logically before taking action. It is only logical that you would want my opinion.


Do you know what I think about politics?

I don't.

Not a bit.

Politics basically amounts to an orgy. There's a lot of posturing and everyone ends up getting screwed in the end.

Then Eliot Spitzer pays someone $4000.

Bah dump pssshhhh.

I don't understand politics.

I understand the basic themes of power and control. I understand the whole kissing hands and shaking babies bit.

That all makes sense.

These people are fighting to be the person in charge of running an entire country.

Possibly into the ground.

I get the campaigning and the lying. I get the unrealistic promises everyone makes.

Someone else is trying to get your job.

You know you're going to throw down.

Who hasn't gone to a job interview and told the interviewer that the other guy was hot shotting heroin in the waiting room?

Only me then?

That's fine. Getting hired based on your actual marketable skills is for suckers.

See, I get all that stuff about politics. That's all normal.

I just don't get why anyone would vote for anybody.

It's like you're trying to figure out who's going to screw us over the least.

All that other stuff is just smoke and mirrors.

You want my opinion?

Try to figure out which candidate is least likely to mess with video games.

That might not seem important, but it would be good enough for me.

I don't ask for much.

Here's the list:

a) don't burn the place down

b) don't mess with video games

That's it.

Promise me that and you can have my vote.

I don't care if you're running for prom king.

That's all I really want.


c) national [GM]Dave holiday

Is that too much to ask?

It'd be like St. Patrick's Day.

With more drinking.



Maybe I should run for president.


At 8:21 PM, Blogger MooseHP said...

Hell yeah, that would be awesome...

At 9:50 PM, Blogger Philip said...

"I understand the basic themes of power and control. I understand the whole kissing hands and shaking babies bit."

This just made my day.

At 11:26 PM, Blogger quinn said...

i would vote for you as president. hell i would vote you for the position of "dictator for life"

At 2:47 AM, Blogger Jalte said...

Isn't there also like some kind of hierarchy between you GMs? lol I would love to see you get elected GM president by the fan masses of this blog. Damn.... a reign of terror in Vana d'iel.... and we would be your army lol...

At 4:21 AM, Blogger Netel said...

i would vote for ya..
Thats one vote for u.. ( the most ) hahah i am just kidding!

At 7:43 AM, Blogger Bufuman said...

As far as politics goes, I only know I'm not voting for Hillary, because we don't need another Clinton in the White House. For God's sake, for the last 24 years, we've had Bush, then Clinton, then bush. Do we REALLY want this pattern to continue? Get some new goddamn names in there!

Other than that, I really don't care that much. Whether it's Obama, McCain, or even Ron Paul, as long as they don't fuck with my video games, they can blow up Texas for all I care.

At 8:35 AM, Blogger Zombie said...

Actually, Dave, we could make you president of the internet if you organized a googlebomb. Basically, the way it works is that whoever is the first result when you search for "President of the Internet" on google is, well, the president of the internet.

For a while it was Dan James, now it's not so much a person as a site dedicated to the president of the internet, which I think qualifies it as a standalone complex.

Just think of what you could do if you were the president of the internet! Yeah, I can't either.

At 10:53 AM, Blogger Bryan said...

Dave/Susan 2012!

At 11:16 AM, Blogger Staxx said...

I love the whole [GM]Dave holiday notion!! I propose it be a 4 day "weekend"...starting Monday thru Thursday then call in sick Friday. Works for me!! But what to call this greatest of all Holidays???

At 2:08 PM, Blogger Miguel Santos said...

To staxx:

I believe "All Hail [GM]Dave" day, is a fitting name.

Oh, and Dave why settle for a country? Get elected as president (or dictator) of the Universe. You'd have my vote.

At 4:36 AM, Blogger Scott said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 4:39 AM, Blogger Sen said...

I agree full heartidly. A choice between getting it up the ass with sand for lube or getting up the ass with.. slightly coarser sand for lube.

Either way I want no part of it; well I wouldn't mind being the doctor who gets paid for prescribing the vicodin.

At 7:14 PM, Blogger Tim said...

I see someone likes Harvey Birdman.


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