People Are SickSo, I decided to continue my studies into Japanese.
I figure I might as well find out what all those squiggles mean.
I mean, most of the time when I'm in a party with Japanese players, I can't tell if we're in trouble or if the Bards pants don't match his shoes.
Those squiggles might be important.
As I worked my way through lessons, I decided it might be helpful to have some actual Japanese reading material to browse through.
Plus, the lady at the Asian variety market down the street looks at me funny when I try to strike up a conversation about finding my way to the local train station.
So, I was stuck trying to find an easy way to get Japanese reading material.
Conventions were out. Those things frighten the hell out of me.
I decided my best option was ebay.
Honestly, it's pretty much the easiest thing to do nowadays. No matter what you're looking for, someone is probably selling it on ebay.
Ebay is probably the only place where you can wake up at 3 am looking for a sandwich that looks like Abe Lincoln and find one for sale.
A quick search and I found lots of Japanese books. I figured my best bet would be to buy a few final fantasy books.
You might not know this, but I'm a bit of a final fantasy fan.
I buy a handful of magazines and books, and sit back and wait.
So... How ya been?
The books arrived just the other day. I tore the package open and flew through the pages.
That is when I learned a very important Japanese lesson:
"Doujinshi" does not mean "comics".
It might more accurately translate into: "DEAR GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!"
Apparently, in my shopping excitement, I failed to notice the description that said "pictures of final fantasy characters having wildly unusual sex".
You'd think I would have noticed something like that.
You'd think that would have jumped out at me.
Maybe I didn't notice it because IT WASN'T THERE!
Now, instead of having Japanese reading material, I have the image of Sephiroth "attacking" Cloud in a most unorthodox manner burned into my brain.
And I paid money for it.
What the hell is wrong with people?
The fact that people even make this stuff is evidence of two major things:
a) that the world is going to hell
b) that the world SHOULD go to hell
Who the hell has ever been playing an FF game and suddenly said "Hey, this would be better if it was porn."
That is a sick, sick person.
Please tell me you've never said that.
I don't think we can still be friends if you've ever said that.
This whole thing just has me so grossed out. I feel sick just knowing this shit exists.
What could be worse than seeing that?
Susan>> What are you reading?
That should do it.