Sunday, April 06, 2008

A Matter Of Perspective

Some of you may remember Susan's nephew Jerry from the Beyblade story or the more recent career day story.

Jerry was at hanging out at our place recently.

I'm not sure why. Something about his mom having to work or go to the hospital or dying or something.

Anyway, I had the evening off and Jerry and I were hanging out and playing video games.

More accurately, I was playing video games and letting Jerry watch.

That's when he said:

Jerry>> Uncle Dave...
Jerry>> I want to show you something.
[GM]Dave>> Susan!
[GM]Dave>> It's doing that talking thing again!
Jerry>> Stop joking.
Jerry>> I want to show you my penguin.

That's what he actually said.

With a straight face.

[GM]Dave>> Uh... Jerry...
[GM]Dave>> We're not... penguin sharing... people...
[GM]Dave>> Why don't you keep your penguin to yourself?
Jerry>> But I need your help with it.

I immediately start looking for Chris Hansen.

[GM]Dave>> Jerry...
[GM]Dave>> I think you should go home now.
Jerry>> Can I use your computer?

So, Jerry hops on my computer and goes to something called Club Penguin.

I wasn't worried. My computer has the latest in adult material blocking programs.

At least until I can get the password from Susan.

Turns out, he wanted to show me a game that he plays.

For those of you who either don't have kids or don't have other people just leave their children at your house for no apparent reason, Club Penguin is an online game for kids. Kind of like an MMORPG for people who aren't old enough to drive.

I found this incredibly interesting and starting asking a number of intelligent questions such as:

[GM]Dave>> What the hell is this?


[GM]Dave>> Why haven't you gone home yet?

So Jerry explains that he's having trouble with this game.

A game about penguins.

I begin to wonder if Jerry might not be as smart as one would hope.

[GM]Dave>> So, let me get this straight...
[GM]Dave>> You play this game and take part in events...
[GM]Dave>> Just to get special clothes for your character.
Jerry>> Yeah.
[GM]Dave>> And this clothes doesn't really do anything.
[GM]Dave>> But you have to have it anyway.
Jerry>> Basically, yeah.
[GM]Dave>> This is both extremely strange...
[GM]Dave>> And eerily familiar.

That's when he explains his "problem".

Jerry>> I need to get on Club Penguin TV.
[GM]Dave>> What the hell is that?
Jerry>> It's a video they make from the game.
Jerry>> Then they put it up on YouTube.
[GM]Dave>> ...And?
Jerry>> I have to get on it.
Jerry>> I want to be on YouTube.
[GM]Dave>> Yes, I can understand how that would be important.
[GM]Dave>> Only the coolest people get on YouTube.
Jerry>> I know!
[GM]Dave>> You don't get sarcasm do you, Jerry?
Jerry>> Please, Uncle Dave.
[GM]Dave>> Jerry...
[GM]Dave>> That doesn't sound like a real problem.
Jerry>> It's an emergency.
[GM]Dave>> Do you like dragons, Jerry?

Rather than feed the kid to a dragon (or a wood chipper), I decided to give him a chance.

Apparently, you have to try and get into an area that is basically full of people waiting for the event to start.

Imagine Besieged without all the witty banter.


Then, once you're in the zone, you have to constantly refresh and wait for the Club Penguin TV guy to show up.

So basically, I'm using my free time to camp an NM.

An NM in a kids video game.

An NM named Heatblast227.

If anyone happens to find whatever was left of my dignity, I'd really appreciate it.

So, finally the guy shows up. I instantly click on his igloo (yes, his %$&@ing igloo) and we zone in.

[GM]Dave>> Okay.
[GM]Dave>> Now what?
Jerry>> What do you mean?
[GM]Dave>> What do we do now?
Jerry>> That's it.
[GM]Dave>> ...
[GM]Dave>> You needed help clicking on an igloo.
Jerry>> Yeah.
Jerry>> Thanks for the help.

I walked away literally too dumbfounded for words.

Afterwards, my mind was filled with questions.

Should children play online games?

Are they healthy?

Was it wrong to kick Jerry off my computer and make him walk home?

Did I forget that Jerry lives in Oakland?

Damned kids.


At 9:05 PM, Blogger Dorian Mode said...

Parenting: Dignity Not Included.

At 3:28 AM, Blogger Frog Prince said...

After having to deal with little cousins I have come to the realisation that when children ask for "help" it doesn't mean they actually have a problem, it's normally that they just can't be bothered, and would like to watch you do something stupid.

At 4:46 AM, Blogger Guankim said...

No...he should've walked far, far, farther. Like. Antarctica. Seems cold enough for Jormy there.

At 5:52 AM, Blogger Josh said...

I feel your pain. Both of my nephews play Club Penguin.

That's right, I've got to deal with this from 2 sides.

At 6:06 AM, Blogger Bellemithra said...


At 7:47 AM, Blogger Bufuman said...

I cannot judge whether or not walking to Oakland is a bad thing, since we do not know where Dave himself lives. At least I don't think we do. Didn't you once say something about living in California somewhere?

Anyways, look on the bright side, Dave. He could've been playing Gaia.

At 10:33 AM, Blogger MinorAgentofChaos said...

Anyways, look on the bright side, Dave. He could've been playing Gaia.

Worse. He could've been playing Webkins.

Those things are pure evil.

At 10:43 AM, Blogger Miguel R. said...

This is just why I don't even let my little cousins /look/ at my PS3.

lmao @ 'only cool people are on YouTube'.

At 3:17 PM, Blogger Chirri said...

I experienced the great joy of helping my fiance's daughter get to "meet" the famous Rockhopper (a pirate that docks at the Lighthouse every so often). There was no interaction, you just tried to get lucky enough to get into the room he was in. If you could figure out which server he was on, AND get onto that server.

Here's a tip - try the non-American server that looks suspiciously full. And then whiffle bat the kid in the head when they decide they want to just hang out in the same room as Rockhopper, keeping all the other poor kids out the same way the other brats did to them.

At 8:28 PM, Blogger Kat said...


you looked for Chris Hansen. Classic!

That part made me laugh pretty good :)

And yes... MinorAgentofChaos is right... Webkins are pure evil! My friend's kid has 20 of them! >_< I don't know about this Club Penguin, but it MUST be better than Webkins.

At 2:59 PM, Blogger Philip said...

My little cousin plays that...we make fun of her everytime she plays.

At 3:17 PM, Blogger Jeff said...

...Did you ever find out why he couldn't click it himself?


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