SpamalotLike most people, I spend a lot of my time checking my e-mail. It helps me keep track of all my fan mail and any impending litigation.
It's an important resource in today's world.
And, in order to utilize that resource to it's fullest potential, I make sure that my spam filters catch anything that might not be important.
Any e-mails from players on Lakshmi.
Those freaking stupid forwards about angels or babies or angel babies.
You know, useless crap.
Just for a laugh, though, I like to occasionally take a look through my spam folder.
Now, you're probably thinking this is going to be a rant about all the spam guys get about getting a larger penis.
That shit doesn't bother me.
Most of it is actually pretty funny.
"You get bigger tool, she make scream now."
That's comedy gold, right there.
No, the weird part is that I get a huge amount of spam trying to sell me watches.
Think about that.
My spam folder is comprised of ads for either a larger johnson or watches.
Isn't that a strange juxtaposition?
Apparently, internet spammers have done years of market research and discovered that people are extremely concerned with both the size of their reproductive organs and knowing the current time.
Guy1>> Hey, I know the current time.
Guy1>> And when I get an erection, I faint from blood loss.
Guy1>> I'm very happy.
Guy2>> Dammit. I'm not aware of the time.
Guy2>> And my junk is embarrassingly small.
Guy2>> I could be better.
And not only are we preoccupied with these two things, but we are SO preoccupied that we appreciate receiving information about these topics multiple times each day.
I figure, I could answer both kinds of ads.
That way, when my manhood becomes even larger, I'll have an extra place to wear all the watches their trying to sell me.
[GM]Dave>> Gee, it's 5 pm up here.
[GM]Dave>> I wonder what time it is in the southern hemisphere.
I'd have to stay away from one of those kinetic watches.
That would probably require a great deal of waggling.
There's some lovely mental imagery, huh?