A Brief Interlude
Sorry, but tonight's update will not be related to FFXI. Instead, there is a matter of grave importance that must be brought to light in order to save society.Japanese cartoons are destroying children's minds.
There. I said it.
I know, I know. Many of you are now horribly offended, sitting there clutching your Naruto boxed set and acting like I just kicked your dog.
Calm the hell down.
I, too, enjoy Japanese cartoons, but have you actually talked to a kid lately? It's a little frightening.
If a kid can't tie his shoes, but is well versed in the intricasies of alchemy (Full Metal or otherwise), they're watching too many freaking cartoons.
Remember cartoons when we were kids? They were short and had no morals whatsoever.
None.
And they required almost no thought at all.
Hell, the damned things actively destroyed attention span.
Today's cartoons are destroying kids' minds.
Susan's sister has a kid. Really cool little kid, but all he watches is Japanese anime.
This wouldn't be so bad if the kid didn't stop every three and a half seconds to do an introspective monologue.
One time, he was playing a video game on his Gameboy, literally in the middle of a battle, and stopped to perform a soliloquy. He lowered his Gameboy, struck some odd pose, and melodramatically asked himself how he would handle his opponent.
Do you not understand how messed up that is?
Imagine trying that at work tomorrow.
Today, we made a quick visit to Susan's sister's house. Her name is Anna. As soon as we walked in, they started chatting.
Not talking. Chatting.
I immediately began to feel faint at the dangerously high levels of estrogen and decided to flee to the safety of the living room.
There on the floor was her son, whom we shall call Jerry, and a couple of his friends. They were playing Beyblade.
Before we go any further, that brings me to point number two.
Japanese cartoons are insane.
Beyblade is a show about spinning tops.
SPINNING F%^*ING TOPS!
I feel like I'm the last sane person on the planet.
Back to our story...
Jerry sees me walk in, runs over, and hugs my leg. At this point, I was unsure what to do.
When things like this happen, I find it best to just not do anything and hopefully the awkward silence will kill them.
Jerry finally removes himself from my leg and asks if I want to play. We sit down, he hands me a top and that's when the insanity starts.
Jerry>> LET 'ER RIP!!!
[GM]Dave>> What the hell was that?
[GM]Dave>> Why are you yelling?
Jerry>> It's what you do.
[GM]Dave>> ...
[GM]Dave>> Oh... Kay.
At this point, we're sitting on the floor watching our tops spin.
Well... I was sitting on the floor. Jerry was leaned forward, literally trembling with anticipation.
And then he started yelling again.
Jerry>> DRANZER!!!
Jerry>> BLAZING GIG ATTACK!!!
[GM]Dave>> Anna!
[GM]Dave>> I think your kid is having a seizure.
Jerry>> No, Uncle Dave.
Jerry>> You need to tell your top what to do.
[GM]Dave>> ...
[GM]Dave>> Why?
Jerry>> That's how you battle.
[GM]Dave>> Do you go to a special school, Jerry?
[GM]Dave>> Maybe ride a short bus to school?
[GM]Dave>> Do they make you wear a helmet?
Jerry>> Uncle Davvvvvvvve
Jerry>> That's how you tell your Bit Beast what to do.
[GM]Dave>> What's a Bit Beast?
Jerry>> See that sticker on top of your Beyblade?
[GM]Dave>> You mean my spinning top?
Jerry>> ... Yeah.
[GM]Dave>> So, you're yelling at stickers.
Jerry>> I'm yelling at my Bit Beast.
[GM]Dave>> Which is a sticker.
[GM]Dave>> You're yelling at a sticker.
Jerry>> Grown ups.
Jerry>> That's the spirit that lives inside my Beyblade.
[GM]Dave>> I think I'm developing a tumor.
Jerry>> I have to yell at that spirit.
[GM]Dave>> Let's just put the whole sticker thing to the side.
[GM]Dave>> Why are you yelling?
Jerry>> I told you.
Jerry>> I have to tell him what to do.
[GM]Dave>> But why are you yelling?
[GM]Dave>> Are these stickers hard of hearing?
[GM]Dave>> Is it less crazy if you're yelling?
Jerry>> That's just what you do.
[GM]Dave>> Words fail me.
We spent the next thirty minutes playing with spinning tops.
Spinning tops.
What are we? Cavemen? Get the kid a damned PS2 or something.
We sat there for thirty minutes of my life (that I'll never get back) and he spent twenty nine of those minutes yelling at his "Beyblade".
The other minute involved an elaborate victory dance I performed after absolutely destroying him.
Who's the sticker now, bitch?
posted by Goblin Smithy @ 8:35 PM
17 Comments:
First post, bitches. Preemptive strike.
Before we start with the comments, understand that I'm not bashing Japanese cartoons/anime.
I'm not.
I'm just bashing what it does to little kids.
So, if you came in here to argue the merits of your favorite anime/manga cartoon, do us all a favor and just shut the hell up.
Glad we could have this little talk.
I have to agree COMPLETELY. Every day on my bus ride to school, there is this middle school kid who screams about Naruto the whole 30 minutes. Just picture it, 6:30 a.m., your tired, and then some kid starts screaming with a horrible attempt at a Japanese accent, "Believe it!!!! HEY!!! Did you watch Naruto over the weekend!?!? He was sooo cool!!!" Then he starts doing "hand signs" for one reason or another.
Now take that and repeat it over and over for 30 minutes. Now tell me, would you rather listen to that or shove rusted nails into your ears?
Well anyway, glad to see I'm not the only one who is bothered by this all the time.
I dont know what's worse. Pimply-faced cartoon addicts who play beyblade or Nartard know-it-alls. I'd say kill em all.
And I dont get how plastic tops can ever really "dish it out". In the old country, we have tops that spin on sharpened nails, with the upper body coated in metal tacks and candlewax (so the nails of other tops dont dig into the wooden body of your top)
Used properly, you just might be able to kill a few living things with such tops without having to shove them down the throat manually.
eeew beyblade ><
the problem here is that they are watching the *wrong* anime.
get him a copy of Urotsukidoji, quick.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Teaching kids that killing your opponet is an acceptable way to win a card game
Isn't that taught in many Westerns? ^_-
In any case, it's parent's fault. If kids act idiotically (no matter the immediate reason), it's because either:
a) Parents' bad genes
b) Parents' bad way to raise them up
c) Both.
Anime has advesrse affects on american children. Those japanese kids can handle it, but it does some freaky shit to others.
Now dont get me wrong. I LIKE anime. But....well, its kinda like alchohol. But without the drunk. it does different things to different people.
"Surprise attack coming from above!"
Ok, enough with the preemptive strike..
Nice entry, though I must say the "SPINNING F%^*ING TOPS!" line was just awesome.
In all honestly... I never understood that anime... Never, no matter how hard I tried since my girlfriend has a liking to the lead character... At least I believe it's the lead, the blue hair guy. But yeah, I know how you feel, I've had my share of awkward moments with some kids too. x_X
Long time reader, first time poster. Blah Blah Blah..
The problem isn't anime. The problem is little kids. Little kids are f'sking OBSESSIVE. It doesn't matter if it's anime or barbies or Dora The Explorer or whatever.
Little kids are the most obsessive, single-minded creatures on the face of the planet. More-so than cats. And that's saying quite a bit.
As well, these shows should not be marketed towards children. They are not..not even CLOSE...to acceptable viewing materials. Either the show is way too mature for most 8 year olds to handle, or it's simply exploitation to try and sell toys/games to little kids.
It's the proverbial take the money out of your parent's wallet and send it to me.
(Looking through Toys R' Us website, I see two figures, higher end stuff for Naruto and none for FMA not bad at all)
In any case, the solution is simple.
No more little kids. This would have the side effect of allowing the human race to die off. This would not be the worst thing that could happen.
I remember when I was little, I used to take carote or w/e (Self defence or something but... looks like it's spelled like carrot ^^;)
The teacher actually had us do that kame-hamee-ha thinger. Ima go back there one day and tell him to stop polluting minds. -.-
Blech... Never could stand Beyblade. Or Yu-Gi-Oh. Or any anime that has to do with a stupid game used as a cross-promotion opportunity.
gm dave: you are a fucktard. goodday sir.
I do enjoy watching anime, but some anime has a really bad influence on kids. I mean, I watched ONE episode of Naruto, but I didn't scream "Believe it!" over and over the next day. Some kids even showed our science teacher a hand sign, and she thought he was trying to flip her off. XD
Anime that DESTROYS brains:
-Naruto
-DBZ (Not as bad as Naruto, though)
-Beyblade
-Yu-gi-oh
-A shitload more.
I think most anime aired in the US (and dubbed for American ears) is being shown to the wrong age groups. American companies think that Animated = Kids shows, and Comic Books (manga) = Comic books for little kids.
This is totally not the case. Although I'll admit that the manga publishing companies have very good age ratings on their covers, we all know that Americans don't bother checking those when they buy "picture books" for their kids.
That said, as far as I can tell ALL of the stuff that they aim at the children is horribly translated, and the stories altered to fit American broadcast standards.
I'm proud to be a Narutard - not the dubbed kind. Watching that after the original makes my ears bleed. It's like turning Joan of Arc into Strawberry Short Cake.
That said - plastic tops, vs couch potato. Hrm, not so tough a choice. ;)
I agree, the "anime" (note the quotes) that's aired in the United States is utter bullshit.
But the stuff in Japan? That's where it's at.
Case in point:
Some jock-fag at my school kept saying how anime is for pussy's and what-not. So I uploaded an episode of Death Note (from Japan) on my iPod and showed it to this kid.
He never came back to school. Something about going insane over the horrifying images he witnessed.
Sure it's nothing big.
Anyways, the point I'm trying to make is that there's the real anime that's raw and uncut that's only allowed on Japanese stations, and then mindless cartoons on American TV we all know and love.
The Japanese cartoons that are aired on American TV...I don't think that can be called entertainment. It is warping kids' minds.
I feel like I should make a group, "Keep Anime in Japan" that way we don't have 12-year olds running around screaming "BANKAI!" and think they're cool.
oh god... yes there is a great deal of anime with... questionable basis.
and the other 50% of anime that's actually good in any sense gets mercilessly butchered in the dubbing process, between cutting out various scenes and bad voice actors and script rewrites (eg naruto and bleach)
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