Friday, February 01, 2008

The Child-Man

I'm going to be slightly topical, so if you showed up expecting me to write about kicking a gilseller in the balls or something, I'm afraid you'll be disappointed.

Check back tomorrow. I'll totally be up for some ball kicking.

We'll make a day of it. We'll pack a lunch, see a movie, and then kick some balls.

Anyway...

Some of you may have seen an interesting article that made the rounds of some popular game sites. In case you did not, you can find it here.

I'll wait.

...

...

Done yet?

So, the basic gist of this opinion piece is a moderately offensive and entirely retarded thesis statement that men just don't grow up anymore.

It actually labels us as "child-men".

Apparently, our enjoyment of video games and popular media means that we are unable to grow out of our adolescent phase and get all growed up.

Now, I'm not a big fan of articles of this sort, but this one in particular really pissed me off. And while I know it was an opinion piece, I don't think that excuses them from this list of heinous offenses.

1) They made up a useless word

I have had enough of buzz words.

Seriously. That's it.

If you can't express your thoughts using currently available language, then you don't have a point. You need to stop and go away.

Little further.

I am so tired of people making up new words to fit whatever convoluted argument they're trying to justify.

Moving on...

2) The article paints women as bastions of maturity

Don't get me wrong. I'm all about the girl power.

You chicks are all right.

But the article makes it seems like every woman hits twenty years of age and trades in her adolescence for a smart pant suit and a briefcase. World travelers and scholars, women instantly become adults.

Men, however, are stuck in cubicles in meaningless jobs and spend all of their free time playing video games and hitting clubs, sleeping with any woman they can find.

This is where the article sticks for me. Half the people in those cubicles are women.

"Now meet the 21st-century you, also 26. You've finished college and work in a cubicle in a large Chicago financial-services firm. You live in an apartment with a few single guy friends. In your spare time, you play basketball with your buddies, download the latest indie songs from iTunes, have some fun with the Xbox 360, take a leisurely shower, massage some product into your hair and face – and then it's off to bars and parties, where you meet, and often bed, girls of widely varied hues and sizes. Wife? Kids? House? Are you kidding?"

Other than the obvious gender based nouns, where exactly is this huge line between men and women?

This not only describes the lives of most people, both male and female, but seems to be a great basis for a sitcom.

And exactly how are men sleeping with these women if all these young women are busy "packing leisure hours with shopping, traveling and dining with friends"?

Somewhere between the global traveling and having cosmos with the girls, women have mastered the ability to be in two places at once.

I'm not saying women are not mature, but these stereotypical, broad strokes are just the exact problem with society.

Women are cool and mature. So are men.

One might even think we were all people.

3) What happened to girl gamers?

I guess this author was too busy coming up with meaningless buzz words and watching Sex and the City reruns to check into the current gaming culture.

Girls game, too.

I'll grant you that the majority of gamers are men. That's hard to argue.

But to singularly declare that women are too busy shopping to get their game on?

My question is, then who the hell is buying all of those pink DSes?

Women are a strong part of the gaming community and culture, too. By removing them from the argument, the author detracts more from women then empowering them.

That's right, ladies. [GM]Dave got your back.

4) She REALLY overestimates the time we put into this.

"
The most prevalent theory comes from feminist-influenced academics and cultural critics, who view dude media as symptoms of backlash, a masculinity crisis. Men feel threatened by female empowerment, these thinkers argue, and in their anxiety, they cling to outdated roles."

Does anyone have time to do this?

Personally, I play video games because they are fun. After the cubicle toiling that I have to do to pay the bills, I enjoy sitting down with some relaxing entertainment.

I don't, however, spend my time being angry at women or struggling with identity issues.

That shit sounds tiring.

5) Why wouldn't we choose games?

"Give young men a choice between serious drama on the one hand, and Victoria's Secret models, battling cyborgs, exploding toilets and the NFL on the other, and it's the models, cyborgs, toilets and football by a mile."

This is possibly the dumbest thing I've ever read.

Ever.

Have you seen what passes for so called "serious drama" these days?

I would easily choose ANYTHING over the crap being passed off as drama these days. Maybe I don't feel like wasting time or money watching generic man chase generic woman through a generic romantic comedy.

Oh... I get it... This time Julia Roberts is a lawyer...

That's totally different.

6) ...

You know what? I don't need a six.

The article sucks.

The author seems to have based her entire argument on watching Mountain Dew commercials.

I'm hoping you'll read the whole thing because you'll learn something very important. Amongst the sweeping generalizations, false premises, and specious reasoning, this article is able to convey a very important point.

People have way to much damned time on their hands.

Maybe they should get a hobby.

Video games for example...

37 Comments:

At 10:25 PM, Blogger Jtrain said...

Fucking Brilliant.

 
At 11:10 PM, Blogger Robert said...

I sent a letter to the writer from the original page of the article; yours was sourced from some "city-journal" .com or .net or .org or whatever.

I hope she gets whatever backlash she deserves for her insinuations and omissions.

 
At 11:30 PM, Blogger Demi said...

Get a hobby? You could start a blog.

 
At 5:50 AM, Blogger Little Miss said...

Jeez. I'm female and even I'm offended by the silliness of that article.

PS. Love the blog [GM]Dave.

 
At 7:46 AM, Blogger Sam said...

Christ, someone should knock that woman off her goddamn high horse with something heavy.

That has fangs...

Maybe a dragon?

 
At 11:11 AM, Blogger Tommy said...

Really like this style of blog posts. Would love to see more of these kinds of posts. A bit more of what you thing of the real world and what's happening is nice to read. Though the dragon eating retards part is fun as well.

 
At 11:21 AM, Blogger Mohammad said...

Funny that [GM] Dave is defending humanity for once instead of condemning it.

 
At 12:23 PM, Blogger Miguel R. said...

If I wasn't reading this from a library right now, I'd stand up and applaud.

That article was prejudiced beyond belief...so much so that it actually made me chuckle. Hell, I don't even watch sports...besides the SuperBowl, and that's for the commercials. I also don't own or want Halo 3/360, but that's besides the point.

[GM]Dave countered every point of that article with maturity and intelligence, proving that it was 100% wrong.

Mr. Dave, I salute you, bro.

 
At 4:19 PM, Blogger Grenade71822 said...

I agree with ya Dave.

 
At 10:53 PM, Blogger Shinkada said...

Dave speaks up... And it is good.

Your regular humour style with a bit more of a serious topic? Great stuff. I really don't think I could have said it better myself, and I'm usually good at these "media responses".

Just, don't make me read something that deprived of brain cells again, kay? It kind of hurts. I think my nose is bleeding...

 
At 1:44 AM, Blogger chrisraven said...

That was the biggest pile of crap I have ever seen. My long time girl friend woman I had plains to merry sure cut and ran as so as i got sick(my heart went from reg size to the size of a malon). So from that I could say women had a fear of commitment when the chips are down but thats not true cause a lady friend of my has been by my side since day one of this and it may turn into more.

 
At 10:41 AM, Blogger Kelli said...

Wow. This is possibly one of the most offensive articles I have read about men. I am a 37 year old woman and I am a gamer. I have played FFXI for five years now and I have seen and dealt with all kinds of bs but this sweeping generalized statement is "special." Most men I know are playing to relax from work and kids. A couple of them are single fathers. Oh, and do gay men in this situation count? Theres just too much to go into and not enough time not energy to attack before my first cup of coffee. Perhaps this author should delve more into the REAL research on gaming and men and women before touching any writing materials.

 
At 11:26 AM, Blogger Naloth said...

That article was the worst thing I've ever read, the writer is obviously retarted and should be fed to Jormy.

Dave's my new hero. Sorry Chuck Norris, you're now number two.

 
At 12:20 PM, Blogger Paul said...

It's Sex in the City in article format!

If her need to breed wasn't so desperate, I'm pretty sure she'ld switch teams.

 
At 1:08 PM, Blogger MinorAgentofChaos said...

I found the article interesting -- I know a few gamers/RPGers who seem to be stuck in permanent adolescence...er, and a couple of them are married, so you can't argue that marriage somehow makes the man mature.

Jeebus bloody christ -- for that matter, my brother's married, with kids, and has piled himself into lots of debt...well, I cannot call him "mature" by any stretch of the imagination. Nor his wife, for that matter.

What you said, Dave.

 
At 6:08 PM, Blogger Hector said...

Guys, [GM]Dave don't be so mean with the writer, consider how really poor
is she, been in the middle of 30's reading her "Interesting drama" and got
bored of it, next to a man that is having the hell of fun playing with his
DS during the lunch time and talking about his funny story of the last night
party.

Consider the fact, in the name of "Normal Life" she need to endure day by
day a boring, nonsense life while looking at another people(smart people, like us)
that threw away the social ego and enjoyed the life in the best way we
found(call it video games, or whatever makes you happy).

And in the top of that she need to spend 3-4 hours of her life writing and
article to attack that happy people and justify her nonsense, boring existence
in the name of "Interesting drama" that she couldn't even finished because as
well got bored.

I meet my wife in the game and we have been almost 3 years together
we love the game and enjoy the fun together, I don't see how that can be called
immature, but well as [GM]Dave says, there is not way to help some people. =D

Great entry [DM]Dave, i really enjoy your work a lot v^^d.

 
At 6:16 PM, Blogger Zee said...

I'm having a really hard time not basting her on here as I can't help but wonder why she would write such an article. Perhaps she dated one of her supposed "child-men" and he prefered spending time with his games more than her?

P.S. I was clued into this site about a week ago and now I can't stop reading. Me and a few of my FFXI mates quote you all the time, now.

Thanks for the amusement!

 
At 9:54 PM, Blogger Xatticus said...

I laughed so hard reading this. This woman is an IDIOT!

 
At 11:39 PM, Blogger pinkie said...

Yay for pink DSes!!!

 
At 1:41 AM, Blogger Freedom III said...

Straight, to the point, and hilarious...good show, Dave.

 
At 7:16 AM, Blogger Midnight Voyager said...

These... why do these people even get this crap published? Who actually listens to this crap?

...

Never mind, I don't want to know. She just needs a good dragoning.

 
At 9:52 AM, Blogger Staxx said...

Salute!!! [GM]Dave & Davism!!
I am a 40 Female gamer, I am able to play and converse with friends from college and new ones - while abusing bunnies. Isn't what life is about?? Sounds like that woman got her ass kicked in Pong as a child and never got over it.
or she needs to play FFXI instead of WoW!

 
At 10:53 AM, Blogger RamblingDreamer said...

I'm 32, female, and a gamer, and I'm with you all the way. Gamer men? Immature? Sure, some are. And the same can definitely be said for women - of both the gaming and shopping varieties (anyone who has ever seen a woman throw a bitch-fit over a pair of pumps or a sweater not cut just-so can attest to that).

My first husband was an immature gamer. He was definitely a big kid who gave very little thought to any personal responsibility. My second husband - married since June of '05 - is a gamer and most times is one of the most mature people I know (after all, we all have our moments). It's all about the priorities. Gamers have them, too, and they're not always focused on the month-long wait for that rare armor drop.

The woman who wrote that article is showing only one thing: that she knows nothing about the gaming community and the people who are in it. As you say in your next post (I'm reading these a bit late and sort of backwards): we're not all swearing twelve-year-olds. I remember Space Invaders. I still own my old (working!) Atari. I still kick ass at Donkey Kong and Pitfall. I spent yesterday afternoon working most of the way through the Ferai world on the PS2 game Primal (laugh if you will, but I love it)...

...But that was before stopping to cuddle/wrestle with my daughter (she'll be 2 this August) on the couch for a few hours before bedtime. That was before making sure she had enough to eat and was getting plenty of exercise/fun before taking her to her room. That was before changing her diaper one last time, making her a bottle, giving her a kiss and tucking her in. That was before I told her I loved her and wished her sweet dreams.

And all that was before my husband (one of the "child-men" in that woman's ignorant article) joined me in doing those things for our little girl - who is the most important thing in his life and the center of his (our) universe.

All gamer men, immature? I have to disagree. That woman is blind.

And on another note: I've seen one pink DS. It was purchased by a male gamer here at the office because he thought it'd be "funny" to play on it. *Shrug* Just sayin'. :)

 
At 10:54 AM, Blogger RamblingDreamer said...

I'm 32, female, and a gamer, and I'm with you all the way. Gamer men? Immature? Sure, some are. And the same can definitely be said for women - of both the gaming and shopping varieties (anyone who has ever seen a woman throw a bitch-fit over a pair of pumps or a sweater not cut just-so can attest to that).

My first husband was an immature gamer. He was definitely a big kid who gave very little thought to any personal responsibility. My second husband - married since June of '05 - is a gamer and most times is one of the most mature people I know (after all, we all have our moments). It's all about the priorities. Gamers have them, too, and they're not always focused on the month-long wait for that rare armor drop.

The woman who wrote that article is showing only one thing: that she knows nothing about the gaming community and the people who are in it. As you say in your next post (I'm reading these a bit late and sort of backwards): we're not all swearing twelve-year-olds. I remember Space Invaders. I still own my old (working!) Atari. I still kick ass at Donkey Kong and Pitfall. I spent yesterday afternoon working most of the way through the Ferai world on the PS2 game Primal (laugh if you will, but I love it)...

...But that was before stopping to cuddle/wrestle with my daughter (she'll be 2 this August) on the couch for a few hours before bedtime. That was before making sure she had enough to eat and was getting plenty of exercise/fun before taking her to her room. That was before changing her diaper one last time, making her a bottle, giving her a kiss and tucking her in. That was before I told her I loved her and wished her sweet dreams.

And all that was before my husband (one of the "child-men" in that woman's ignorant article) joined me in doing those things for our little girl - who is the most important thing in his life and the center of his (our) universe.

All gamer men, immature? I have to disagree. That woman is blind.

And on another note: I've seen one pink DS. It was purchased by a male gamer here at the office because he thought it'd be "funny" to play on it. *Shrug* Just sayin'. :)

 
At 10:54 AM, Blogger RamblingDreamer said...

I'm 32, female, and a gamer, and I'm with you all the way. Gamer men? Immature? Sure, some are. And the same can definitely be said for women - of both the gaming and shopping varieties (anyone who has ever seen a woman throw a bitch-fit over a pair of pumps or a sweater not cut just-so can attest to that).

My first husband was an immature gamer. He was definitely a big kid who gave very little thought to any personal responsibility. My second husband - married since June of '05 - is a gamer and most times is one of the most mature people I know (after all, we all have our moments). It's all about the priorities. Gamers have them, too, and they're not always focused on the month-long wait for that rare armor drop.

The woman who wrote that article is showing only one thing: that she knows nothing about the gaming community and the people who are in it. As you say in your next post (I'm reading these a bit late and sort of backwards): we're not all swearing twelve-year-olds. I remember Space Invaders. I still own my old (working!) Atari. I still kick ass at Donkey Kong and Pitfall. I spent yesterday afternoon working most of the way through the Ferai world on the PS2 game Primal (laugh if you will, but I love it)...

...But that was before stopping to cuddle/wrestle with my daughter (she'll be 2 this August) on the couch for a few hours before bedtime. That was before making sure she had enough to eat and was getting plenty of exercise/fun before taking her to her room. That was before changing her diaper one last time, making her a bottle, giving her a kiss and tucking her in. That was before I told her I loved her and wished her sweet dreams.

And all that was before my husband (one of the "child-men" in that woman's ignorant article) joined me in doing those things for our little girl - who is the most important thing in his life and the center of his (our) universe.

All gamer men, immature? I have to disagree. That woman is blind.

And on another note: I've seen one pink DS. It was purchased by a male gamer here at the office because he thought it'd be "funny" to play on it. *Shrug* Just sayin'. :)

 
At 11:20 AM, Blogger crosstek said...

So, if I'm reading this woman's article correctly, her theory is as follows: "If you're a male, and you're having fun, you're obviously immature." ...huh.

Dave, I'm a fan of your blogs and more than one dragon-related death has made me smile, but it's this post, this one, that would make me buy you a drink. Rock on, sir.

 
At 12:02 PM, Blogger Shayde said...

39-year-old female gamer, married to a 36-year-old male gamer. We have a child who's almost 4 (who has been watching us play FFXI her whole life), a house (complete with mortgage), full-time jobs, and a good life.

I'm guessing the article's author didn't have much time for "fun" (read "drinking & partying") in college -- she was apparently in too much of a hurry to get her pantsuit.

I've known plenty of immature females -- I even was one for a while. If men (and women) can get away with having fun for a while before getting serious about "real life," more power to them... er... us.

Nice to see a somewhat "serious" post from you, [GM] Dave. You are talented.

 
At 5:35 PM, Blogger rupture said...

apparently someone was dumped by a gamer..

 
At 7:34 AM, Blogger RamblingDreamer said...

Crap. Um... Sorry to spam the comments with the same post three times. The first two times it didn't go through. Not sure how it managed to get in there multiple times. Sorry, Dave!

 
At 12:43 PM, Blogger semele said...

Great points. I'd read the article. After the first half, my psychological background said this:

I don't take much time to think about sociological changes happening in our current society, but do find it fascinating. My take: there is more leisure time because life is generally easier. You don't have to live 10 to a house anymore, but if you do, your disposable income rises dramatically (thus frats and roommates). However, living with just your created family is financially draining. Plus, people (men especially, who have been traditionally free of caretaking of home and children) have always had "the club" to escape to. Think of hunting safaris or gentleman's smoking clubs with cigars and gambling, think of saloons, think of what president Eisenhower would do for recreation. Maybe he played Gin and drank Scotch. I dunno. But I bet he did something in a place generally free of women. I think the main "problem" now, as women see it, is these activities take place in a place not free of women - for women have invaded all the men's places of sanctuary - and they're playing Xbox in their living rooms instead of some social place. This in view of the women. I'm sure a lot of "work" men claimed to do was actually socializing. Now that its more in the face, it's more irritating.

But after finishing the article (stupid job got in the way of finishing it in one setting), I found it vapid and overgeneralizing. Ahem, girl gamer with a Masters Degree in Counseling. She's a bitter old bitch who needs to get over herself. She lost sight of the point she was trying to make midway through and should have stayed her course instead of exposing herself for the silly hurt old bag she turned out to be.

 
At 10:02 AM, Blogger Zephyer said...

Wait Dave! Although it sounds so incredibly stupid this article. Try going with it! If the world can be build on generalized buzz words, then that means we get to play video games all day and watch NFL with all our immature buddies. The wife or girlfriend on the other hand will be the one who cleans the house and cooks us food.

For the love of god Dave, we must support her in that! She acknowledges that we like to be lazy and/or don't give a damn about what she thinks. Thats like a girl who'd never be able to tell you what to do!

 
At 4:55 PM, Blogger Alison the Amazing Thief said...

Wow she was awful. Most of my freinds spend a lot of their free evenings vegging in front of a TV. I prefer video games. I think that makes me a more active person. I have the whole marriage, kid and employment thing under my belt and I still play video games after the youngin goes to bed. I dont think that makes me less of an adult. I'm not sure what she wants me to do with my free time to make me more adult-like but she sounds like a bore.

 
At 12:45 PM, Blogger Lady Neptune said...

"For whatever reason, adolescence appears to be the young man's default state, proving what anthropologists have discovered in cultures everywhere: It is marriage and children that turn boys into men."

What anthropologists? Where? She needs to learn to cite things. :(

And honestly, using Knocked Up and fictional books as examples? Does that work? :\
This is just a bad argument even if it had a point (which it does not). D:

God, I hate feminists.

 
At 9:04 AM, Blogger George said...

I salute you for this Dave. Don't apologize for being so topical either, I agree with previous comments that it might be interesting if you made more posts about these types of issues that gamers face.

 
At 9:24 PM, Blogger Peevil said...

I would have left a nice comment involving what I really thought on that nut job's page... If I didn't have to sign up to do it. Don't worry about it Dave, I think she has the equivalent intellect of a stump grinder.

 
At 3:38 PM, Blogger Connaughton said...

I'm a soldier in the US Army and 18 years old. After a long hard day of manly soldier things I sit down and enjoy some video games before going to sleep. So this makes me a man-child yes?

 
At 5:21 PM, Blogger Cathy said...

I'm a 21 year old female who plays videogames from time to time (god, I loved Mass Effect), shoots high-caliper rifles, and has an interest in cars. I read her article along with another article along the same lines about "man-childs". One. I'm offended. Truly. Two, she's saying that, as a women, I want everything she wants (see: no life).

It's obvious this women doesn't understand the economic and social pressure on today's society. Back when she was growing up, having a highschool deploma was all you needed. Now, it means nothing, so you spend more years in school and in a crappy job to pay for your schooling. Settling down and having kids -- "maturing", as she would put it -- is not feasibly possible... unless, of course, you actually wanted to end up unhappy and broke, not only destroying your life, but that of your family as well.

Besides. I thought she was a feminist. What ever happened to supporting personal choice?

 

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