The Child-ManI'm going to be slightly topical, so if you showed up expecting me to write about kicking a gilseller in the balls or something, I'm afraid you'll be disappointed.
Check back tomorrow. I'll totally be up for some ball kicking.
We'll make a day of it. We'll pack a lunch, see a movie, and then kick some balls.
Some of you may have seen an interesting article that made the rounds of some popular game sites. In case you did not, you can find it here.
So, the basic gist of this opinion piece is a moderately offensive and entirely retarded thesis statement that men just don't grow up anymore.
It actually labels us as "child-men".
Apparently, our enjoyment of video games and popular media means that we are unable to grow out of our adolescent phase and get all growed up.
Now, I'm not a big fan of articles of this sort, but this one in particular really pissed me off. And while I know it was an opinion piece, I don't think that excuses them from this list of heinous offenses.
1) They made up a useless word
I have had enough of buzz words.
Seriously. That's it.
If you can't express your thoughts using currently available language, then you don't have a point. You need to stop and go away.
I am so tired of people making up new words to fit whatever convoluted argument they're trying to justify.
2) The article paints women as bastions of maturity
Don't get me wrong. I'm all about the girl power.
You chicks are all right.
But the article makes it seems like every woman hits twenty years of age and trades in her adolescence for a smart pant suit and a briefcase. World travelers and scholars, women instantly become adults.
Men, however, are stuck in cubicles in meaningless jobs and spend all of their free time playing video games and hitting clubs, sleeping with any woman they can find.
This is where the article sticks for me. Half the people in those cubicles are women.
"Now meet the 21st-century you, also 26. You've finished college and work in a cubicle in a large Chicago financial-services firm. You live in an apartment with a few single guy friends. In your spare time, you play basketball with your buddies, download the latest indie songs from iTunes, have some fun with the Xbox 360, take a leisurely shower, massage some product into your hair and face – and then it's off to bars and parties, where you meet, and often bed, girls of widely varied hues and sizes. Wife? Kids? House? Are you kidding?"
Other than the obvious gender based nouns, where exactly is this huge line between men and women?
This not only describes the lives of most people, both male and female, but seems to be a great basis for a sitcom.
And exactly how are men sleeping with these women if all these young women are busy "packing leisure hours with shopping, traveling and dining with friends"?
Somewhere between the global traveling and having cosmos with the girls, women have mastered the ability to be in two places at once.
I'm not saying women are not mature, but these stereotypical, broad strokes are just the exact problem with society.
Women are cool and mature. So are men.
One might even think we were all people.
3) What happened to girl gamers?
I guess this author was too busy coming up with meaningless buzz words and watching Sex and the City reruns to check into the current gaming culture.
Girls game, too.
I'll grant you that the majority of gamers are men. That's hard to argue.
But to singularly declare that women are too busy shopping to get their game on?
My question is, then who the hell is buying all of those pink DSes?
Women are a strong part of the gaming community and culture, too. By removing them from the argument, the author detracts more from women then empowering them.
That's right, ladies. [GM]Dave got your back.
4) She REALLY overestimates the time we put into this.
"The most prevalent theory comes from feminist-influenced academics and cultural critics, who view dude media as symptoms of backlash, a masculinity crisis. Men feel threatened by female empowerment, these thinkers argue, and in their anxiety, they cling to outdated roles."
Does anyone have time to do this?
Personally, I play video games because they are fun. After the cubicle toiling that I have to do to pay the bills, I enjoy sitting down with some relaxing entertainment.
I don't, however, spend my time being angry at women or struggling with identity issues.
That shit sounds tiring.
5) Why wouldn't we choose games?
"Give young men a choice between serious drama on the one hand, and Victoria's Secret models, battling cyborgs, exploding toilets and the NFL on the other, and it's the models, cyborgs, toilets and football by a mile."
This is possibly the dumbest thing I've ever read.
Have you seen what passes for so called "serious drama" these days?
I would easily choose ANYTHING over the crap being passed off as drama these days. Maybe I don't feel like wasting time or money watching generic man chase generic woman through a generic romantic comedy.
Oh... I get it... This time Julia Roberts is a lawyer...
That's totally different.
You know what? I don't need a six.
The article sucks.
The author seems to have based her entire argument on watching Mountain Dew commercials.
I'm hoping you'll read the whole thing because you'll learn something very important. Amongst the sweeping generalizations, false premises, and specious reasoning, this article is able to convey a very important point.
People have way to much damned time on their hands.
Maybe they should get a hobby.
Video games for example...