Monday, January 21, 2008

The Account... Thing... Yeah...

So...

Apparently, some people have had their accounts stolen.

You might have heard.

I think I saw a forum post about it yesterday.

Maybe two.

Yeah...

Okay, I totally understand where you guys are coming from. People's accounts are being taken and you don't see us jumping in to help. You may think that means we don't care.

We totally care.

I mean... that could have been us.

More importantly, it could have been me.

I really do care that this is happening to players.

Not as much as if it was my own account, but there is a substantial amount of caring.

But there is a much bigger problem to be addressed here. This is about far more than people losing access to their accounts. This is about more than players being abused by cheaters.

Let us not forget to look at the bigger picture here, people.

This is about the fact that I'm getting 15 bajillion GM calls every day.

Isn't that the real tragedy?

I'm totally kidding.

Seriously. Put the gun down.

You can't even understand how much this pisses me off.

I hate RMT on the best of days. Then these tards start stealing accounts.

I guess ruining your game indirectly just wasn't cutting it. They decided to go with a more direct approach.

Apparently, their next plan is to just come to your house and kick you in the junk.


Unfortunately, the situation is a little harder to sort out than you might think.

At least, that's what my supervisor told me when I suggested we find them and break their knee caps with a ball peen hammer.

It was a solid plan.

It had diagrams.

On a related note, my printer's out of red ink now.

So, you're probably asking yourself how this situation could be difficult to handle. Account stolen, give account back. Simple, right?

This seems simple because you are still a normal person.

See, for every report we get of a stolen account, we get 5 more from people making false reports trying to get access to someone else's account.

It's like there's a line up for people to screw each other over.

We kind of have to go through this funny little process of figuring out which assholes actually stole accounts and which assholes are trying to steal another account. We have to be very, very careful about transferring control of an account.

It isn't like breaking knee caps.

Trust me, we're doing something. It'll take some time, but we're doing something.

And if any RMT happen to be reading this, I was kidding about the hammer thing.

On a completely unrelated topic, you might want to check to see if your building is wheelchair accessible.

18 Comments:

At 9:55 PM, Blogger Kat said...

Cool... first time I check in forever and you posted something. Glad you didn't give up completely on the blog Dave. WB for the time being.

 
At 10:00 PM, Blogger Scott said...

Bad things happen and we get told about it... with seriousness disguised as humor. I like this relationship we have going good to have ya back again.

And curses to the person who beat me to first post by 5 friggen minutes (1 of which was typing). >_>

 
At 3:45 AM, Blogger Grenade71822 said...

I support the kneecap breaking. But does it really go far enough. I mean even with that you can still type.

 
At 8:11 AM, Blogger Rean said...

Keep on Dave, good job. I really enjoyed reading your blog, just finished yesterday. It took me 2 days to read all entries, and today you are back. Just great. Waiting for new dragon stories.

 
At 10:46 AM, Blogger Staxx said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

 
At 10:47 AM, Blogger Staxx said...

Nice to know [GM]Dave is on the job (See:at his desk drinking) and serving the customers (See: drinking himself blind). I hope no one has tried to steal Jormy!!

 
At 11:11 AM, Blogger Tommy said...

It great to see some of your writing again. I enjoy reading it. Keep up the good work.

 
At 11:54 AM, Blogger Chris said...

Try tying their fingerbones in knots. Of course you'll have to soften them first, but I understand a meat tenderizer works well for that. A few good hits on a hard surface...all is good.

 
At 12:23 PM, Blogger Kyle said...

Ugh, paople suck. I can't believe the assholery that occurs just because it can. Where the hell did a sense of right and wrong go?

 
At 1:36 PM, Blogger Robert said...

Is it possible to bill the GM time to a players FF account? Like a deposit, and the person isn't charged if the GM's time isn't wasted. But if its wasted, 30USD/hour of wasted time. WIN WIN. Please, post all retorts to /dev/null or ...

 
At 2:58 PM, Blogger RSS adder said...

Thanks for making my day [GM]Dave, always a source of good humor. Keep it coming. :)

 
At 3:14 PM, Blogger GrĂ­mur said...

Yay, a new blog, always fun to read your stories. Only if you wrote more.

 
At 7:27 PM, Blogger Jeff said...

Could you not just use say the sign up/most used IP address to determine which person's account it is?

 
At 4:01 AM, Blogger Alison the Amazing Thief said...

You feel.... tamer maybe even calmer. I can't quite put my thumb on exactly what it is that makes me think you're mellowing out but I think this baby is making you soft. It's cute.
<3

 
At 4:10 PM, Blogger Mamba said...

Welcome back, Dave!

 
At 5:15 PM, Blogger Jhes said...

Whoo hoo! nice to see a post in whats been months, i keep checking on this blog to see if anything is added, nice to see you still have a tie to the community.

Yeah, i'm sure Kneecaps are only the 1st step in the 12 step plan, right dave?

 
At 11:11 PM, Blogger Atomic Skull said...

If it's so hard to return accounts why is it that NAs are having such a hard time while EU players just have to provide their information and SE will return the account to them?


Oh yeah, that's right I forgot. European law REQUIRES them to do so or face unlimited open ended fines.

 
At 2:43 AM, Blogger Chaotic Neutral WHM said...

LoL And everyone knows NA GM's / Cust Care don't really care about the player. ^^ They just want you to think that.

 

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