Monday, October 02, 2006

[GM]Dave Is Not Happy

Grumble grumble grumble.

Want to hear something funny?

New cars come with a 3 year warranty on most parts. That means that everything is covered for up to three years after the day you buy it.

Nice, huh?

I bought my car 3 years and 1 week ago.

Do you see the funny coming yet?

My card decided it was going to up and die. Everything was fine, and then suddenly the engine started to make a noise I can only describe as the mechanical throes of death.

I have since spent the day trying to work my way through the labyrinth of insurance company bureaucracy.


Here's exactly how the calls have been going.

Person1>> This is customer service. My name is Karen.
Person1>> How can I help you?
[GM]Dave>> My car is broken.
Person1>> I'm sorry to hear that.
Person1>> Let me transfer you to service.
[GM]Dave>> Wait... I don't want to talk to...
Person1>> One second, please.
[GM]Dave>> Stop.
[GM]Dave>> I don't want to talk to service.
Person2>> This is service. My name is Mark.
Person2>> How can I help you?
[GM]Dave>> My car is broken.
Person2>> I'm sorry to hear that.
Person2>> Let me transfer you to warranty.
[GM]Dave>> I don't need to talk to warranty.
[GM]Dave>> I need customer service.
Person2>> Oh...
Person2>> One second, please.
[GM]Dave>> That's better.
Person3>> This is warranty. My name is Ann.
Person3>> How can I help you?
[GM]Dave>> ...
[GM]Dave>> I'm going to kill myself.
Person3>> I'm sorry to hear that.
Person3>> Is there something I can help you with?
[GM]Dave>> My car is broken.
[GM]Dave>> I want to fix it.
[GM]Dave>> You're going to make that happen.
Person3>> Let me just...
[GM]Dave>> NO!
[GM]Dave>> NO JUST!
[GM]Dave>> You're going to help me!
Person3>> Yes, sir.
Person3>> No problem, sir.
Person1>> This is customer service. My name is Karen.
Person1>> How can I help you?
[GM]Dave>> DAMMIT!!!
[GM]Dave>> *gunshot*

And then repeat the process ad infinitum.

Why? Why exactly does this crap have to happen to me?

I can't afford to just go and buy a new car. Hell, I can barely afford to put gas in the one that I have.

Anyway, this tour of car company sadism has taken the better part of my day and an even greater part of my mood and patience.

Unfortunately, the giftpack will most likely have to be sent out tomorrow. That is, of course, assuming I haven't been arrested for murdering the employees of a certain car company and their families.

On an unrelated note, I started anger management classes this weekend. I really think I'm making good progress.


At 4:30 PM, Blogger creature124 said...

anger management? >.> ur not that crazy...yet

At 4:39 PM, Blogger Dantaro said...

Hehe, funny stuff. Oh the delicious irony.

At 4:44 PM, Blogger Iboughtafish said...

Lol. yeah i called tech service once, and they were bad. it went something like this...

Me: yeah my video card has a black screen...
TS: Was the card you took out an onboard card?
Me: Yes
TS: So can you start from the beginning?
Me: I pulled out the old card, stuck in the new one. And i have a black screen...
TS: But you said it was an onboard card.
Me: It was, until I pulled it out.
TS: Your going to have to call your manufacture to make sure you pull the right thing out.
Me: Yeah thanks...


No help at all... I know what I pulled out, and I eventually fixed it on my own.

Have fun with that anger management stuff!

At 4:55 PM, Blogger Naritori said...

Wasn't really that funny hasn't been funny for months actually.

At 5:11 PM, Blogger Exc said...

I think these past few weeks have contained some of his funniest posts ever Naritori.

At 5:24 PM, Blogger tia said...

you and anger management? i'm not sure that'll work...

At 6:05 PM, Blogger ColdhartedRagnarok said...

dave your getting stale, should try some original material.. Im not saying im a better writer then you, or that your blog sucks, i'm just saying it's getting repetitive, just voicing my opinion.

At 6:24 PM, Blogger dickkead said...


You're an idiot, seriously. An "on board" video card cannot be removed, that's why the tech support guy thought you were an idiot. It's connected to the motherboard.

Now, if it was not "on board" than it was plugged into the motherboard through either a PCI or AGP port on the motherboard.

Learn your shit before making fun of the tech support guy who was obviously WAY smarter than you...

At 7:23 PM, Blogger DeaconBlue said...

remember, the first thing you must assert is that "you do NOT have an anger problem" all your anger is clearly justified :)

At 7:25 PM, Blogger Scott Reed said...

I have a toothache...

At 8:08 PM, Blogger Franck Knight said...

Reminds me of what happened with my PC.

I bought the ToAU expansion, and tried to install it, but it was stopping at 99% and saying 'setup was canceled by user', and as you can guess I didn't press cancel at any time, nor was I even near the computer. I thought maybe the DVD had a problem, so I tried with an ISO I torrented and mounted as a drive. No cigar.

I checked for install issues on their website, as they ask you to do. Which they answered IN POL (not in your own email, despite them asking it from you).

Their answer? Check on the website for any help, and if that doesn't answer or help, reply to this email with changing it. Oookay. Since I ALREADY checked and even sent the email from it, I replied.

Then I started having more shit with my computer, and I figured what the problem was. I used that computer as a Ragnarok Online server, and had to set it to Korean, and even putting it back to US never got it back to normal, and what not. I figured the registry was probably shot to death, and went for a clean wipe.

I reinstalled everything, all was fine. One week later I got an email (In POL again) finally replying to the problem.

Which pointed me to issues about 'randomly crashing during gameplay' issues, nothing to do with the actual installation of the thing.

I can safely assume that there is no actual humans working at Square-Enix.

At 11:09 PM, Blogger Zarquon said...

Lemme guess, you bought the car from a lot where "they finance anybody" and there's an "As Is'" sticker on the windshield, right? My last couple cars came from one of those spots. They are now resting comfortably in the Pic-A-Part lot, while my latest car is trying very hard to join them. I may have to get all Old Yeller on it before it breaks down in the middle of heavy traffic with an 18-wheeler driven by a madman on amphetemines is bearing down on it.

At 11:52 PM, Blogger Carrin said...

>>On an unrelated note, I
>>started anger management
>>classes this weekend. I really
>>think I'm making good progress.

Well, If you haven't killed them yet, you should be fine.

>>anger management? >.> ur not that


Not CRAZY, ANGER. They are two different words, and their meanings are no where near similar.

I wish I had something funny to say, but I don't. (Shrug)

At 2:19 AM, Blogger CaesarsGhost said...


Wow... that's just as gay as "first!"

At 5:20 AM, Blogger notkesirahonest said...

Heck at least you could understand what the company was saying!

In the UK just about everything - including directory enquiries - is farmed out overseas. Namely to India.

Now I have no problem at all with other nationalities. I'm not racist so please don't misunderstand this. BUT If I call a customre services number for a UK company it would be nice to be able to understand what the person at the other end of the telephone is actually saying to me!

For crying out loud some of the people they ahve working for them have an extremely tentative grasp of the English language. It is impossible to understand.

The worst though, are bloody telesales calls that come during meal times. Phone rings, answer it, no reply at the other end, phone at the other end starts ringing, someone picks up and starts gibbering in an accent so heavy it sounds like another language. You manage to pick out the odd word, like the name of the company down the road.

Dammit! Sales calls are bad enough already without them being made by people you can't even understand and can't understand you either!

Is it just the UK that has this problem or does the US too?

At 8:41 AM, Blogger Elisen said...

I have that problem everytime i try to call into work.


Front Desk: Thank you for calling -insert company name here- how can I help you?

Me: I need to talk to Terri.

Front Desk: Ok. one moment, I'll transfer you..

Me: k

-hold music-

Front Desk: Whats your name?

Me: -my name-

Front Desk: Are you calling from work?

Me: Yes... I'm sitting in the cubical right next to you but I'm just too damn lazy to get up and walk over there.....

Front Desk: Really?

Me: -sigh- no. not really. Can I talk to terri now?

Front Desk: Ok 1 sec..

-hold music-

-more hold music-

-even more hold music-

Shelby: This is shelby can I help you?

Me: no... I need terri.

Shelby: ok one moment.

-hold music AGAIN-

Front Desk: Thank you for calling -insert company name- how can I help you?

Me: $#%@$#^%@#$^@$#%#$!@^@#$%^#$% I need Terri! T-E-R-R-I TERRI -grumble grumble piss moan-

-hold music-

Voicemail: You've reached the desk of Terri. I'm not available at the moment please leave a message. -BEEP-

I leave a message. Three hours later I get a call from Terri wondering where the hell I am because I "didn't call in to work".


At 10:54 AM, Blogger RDMFire said...

Seems like [GM]Dave is going Emo.
You are not the only one who has to deal with idiotic dealerships and car warranty. "Oh poor me."

And your money problem, get a real job, maybe being a [GM] or pretending to be a [GM] just isn't cutting it, and I seriously doubt that you make enough money doing this blog.

If you don't have money, don't whine about it, do something about it.

Like some of the other people have said, your mats are getting rather dry. Seriously, what happened to [GM]Dave adventures? All I see anymore is personal real/fake life drama BS.
Smithy is still decent though ^^.

Go ahead and feel free to flame me, I know at least one of you take offense to something that doesn't involve you, so uh, have at it.

/stealthunder ok go

At 11:01 AM, Blogger moofaloof said...

rdmfire...i love you man! I HATE EMOS! DOWN WITH EMOS!!!!

At 12:17 PM, Blogger Dealer Man said...

Does you doing well in anger management mean you managed to wipe out half the class before getting tired?

At 2:32 PM, Blogger piemaster said...

made an account >.>
anywayz this particular post had a lot of people moaning that the blogs not funny, i just thought id say that i agree with exc its some of the best stuff, i am amused by complaining about stupid people. kthxbai

At 4:18 PM, Blogger [GM]Dave said...


If you don't like it, feel free not to read it.

People complained that it was getting repetitive since I was always talking about the game.

So, I tried writing more about my real life.

Then people started to complain that it was too much real life stuff.

So, I went back to game related stuff.

Then people started to complain.

Frankly, I'm going to write what I want, when I want. I don't mind people making suggestions, but honestly, if you don't like the blog, don't read it.

If you continue to read then it'll be funny somedays. Hopefully, most days. I can't promise to always be funny.

And, yes, I agree that this has not been my best month. I've been stretching myself too thin and the writing has suffered.

I'm going to take some time this week to really focus on getting things back to the way they used to be. The people who really like this blog will no doubt give me the benefit of the doubt and hang around.

Now, here's an idea. Rather than complaining, why don't you e-mail me some ideas for stories. Or even just tell me what you find funny.

I'm making this shit up as I go, people.

At 5:01 PM, Blogger Zarquon said...

Preach on, Reverend Dave. Tell it like it is.

You'll notice that most of the people who are complaining are people who's lives aren't interesting enough to read about anyway.

At 7:53 PM, Blogger mysticoblivion said...

Keep up the good work Dave!

At 11:28 PM, Blogger Couldbeme said...

As per Dave himself...."Now, here's an idea. Rather than complaining, why don't you e-mail me some ideas for stories. Or even just tell me what you find funny.

I'm making this shit up as I go, people."

He does this because its fun and people seem to enjoy it. If you arent one of those people you COULD just stop reading.

I know I dont read this so I can watch morons complain about reading something they dont even like.

Moron: I hate fish... I think Ill go eat a fish sandwich. I know I hate it but why make myself happy when I can annoy lots of people by complaining.

Grow up and go on somewhere. kthxbai

At 4:48 AM, Blogger ralli said...

unfortunatly that is how the car industy works. when my mustang had head gasket problems the dealership and ford kept bouncing me between them saying there is nothing they can do and to talk to the other party.

At 1:15 PM, Blogger Dale said...

why? lmfao.. why u ask???? one word.. CARMA.. and since no one else has the balls to say anything to you here I guess I'll make it my sole purpose.. nay duty, nay conquest to make your blog my living hell :o)... welcome to my world diknutz.. I will be reading your blogs on a regualr basis and chopping u off at the head whenever i deem necessary.. why? idk.. why do u insist on being an asshole.. one could say because you have no life.. as one could say because i have no life.. and who knows.. maybe one would be right.. but not two.. definitely not two.. anyway why am i going to do this ? well for the same reason you fed your friend to jormy.. for the same reason you played favorites with your wife in a game people pay for and has nothing to do with you and your personal life.. why? because I feel like it.. lol.. so {hello} Dave.. {nice to meet you}.. {See you again}

p.s I'm waiting on my 72 hour ban..
hard to ban what u can't find huh.. ain't that a

At 1:13 PM, Blogger AsuraWarriorPrincess said...

Dale Posted:
"why? lmfao.. why u ask???? one word.. CARMA.. and since no one else has the balls to say anything to you here I guess I'll make it my sole purpose.. nay duty, nay conquest to make your blog my living hell :o)... welcome to my world diknutz.."

My head hurts now.
I moved so my net was down for a while. (Same issue poor Dave had)
I catch up on my [GM]Dave, and people are giving him shit.
Then there are comments from people like Dale above. Mouth breathing, drooling, idiots.
Dale, we learned sentence structure, oh in about grade 2, or so. You must have missed that day.

I.. think...i'll go.. . lay down... now... and take... some... asprinz...

This guy is entertaining the masses of the Final Fantasy Addicts. Please let him do his thing.
Dave, for someone making it up as you go, this shit is hilarious. I laugh every day.

At 12:57 PM, Blogger Dale said...

Yes.. lmfao.. the collective intelligence of super Daves readers are comparible to a child with cranial rectum syndrome.. and since most of you won't even understand that.. it means head up ass... fyi^^.. my poor poor my fat , ugly, hairy, zit faced computer I am a computer designer in structural, civil and architectural engineering for you to even remotely attempt to insult my intelligence is laughable.. go on and act like a princess somewhere I love you people :op.. princess this and "oh im a kitty cat" lmfao.. ok 1st off. your not a princess. secondly drop that bag of cheetos and get a JOB... lol.. to funny.. Hey, if Dave can say and do what Dave wants to say and do why should I not be allowed to.. by those rights alone you make yourself a hypocrite.. you defend his right to free speech basically then denounce mine.. your such a tool.. go get some "real" he was trying to "help" people I wouldn't be here.. oh btw.. when you talk... in structure.. you dont.. put periods...every two.. words ok.... fyi^^ dam how can u even be that dumb as to speak about structure then bulldoze your whole blog with improper punctuation? lol.. Tool, {do you need it?} my bad.. I guess you wouldnt, would you.. You people can't hold a candle stik to me in the real world lol.. I'll outhink and outmatch you.. all your good at is pressing buttons.. so go take that button pressing finger you got there.. and cram it up ur cram hole lafure...
ps... Thank you for fuling my fire :o).. your to sweet.. kisses for you.. :op

So Dave, when can i get a job as a gm? am i enough of an asshole? haha..

At 11:03 AM, Blogger Mu said...

Dale, you must have a sad, sad life to feel the need to insult people over the internet.

Anyway, [GM]Dave, dig your blog. People are idiots when they expect you to entertain them. ^^b

At 4:47 AM, Blogger Dan said...

For somebody who uses "lol" as a punctuation sign and forgets about using subjects or verbs in "sentences" that are separated by double dots (never heared about that delimiter before but congratulations for making it up), you sure have a waaaay too good oppinion about yourself.
Your post, except leaving me with a deep dyslexic feeling proved to have no actual point.
Nobody "denounces" your freedom of speech, because everybody is free to say whatever they want, however retarded the things they have to say might be. But don't expect everybody to cheer for you if you act like a retard. The fact that you got an unpleasant response to your first post is by no means denying your freedom of speech, it is just criticism, a thing that you seem not to take too well, judging by your second post. Well, it is not your fault you got criticized (of course it is) and it is not your fault for not making any sense either (umm... oh yeah, of course it is). I would blame nature... or your mother for not being careful when she was carrying you as a child... Anyway, some event related to your birth would be the one to blame.
So, you got banned or something? And instead of enjoying the sun or go hang out with the bunch of friends you have in real life (yeah, i'm being ironic here for those who don't get it) you post nonsense here? For a 72 hour ban? Well, for using 4 question marks at the end of a 3 word sentence that, almost incredibly, contains the "word" "u" too, I would have fed you to a frog (dragons kill too fast and there is no suffering in being killed by a dragon, by the way) then feed the frog to another frog, feed that frog to a stork and then feed the stork to a dragon. Oh and then I would have fed the dragon to... ah, whatever, you get it already. Oh! Almost forgot! ...And then I would have given you a perm ban and send a pack of hippopotamus to your house to devour you.
In a package...
With a huge "You are a retard" sign on it...
I think I need anger management too but I really can't stand people using more than one question mark to finish a more-than-common sentence. And thats because I don't get it. Doesn't a single question mark emphasize enough that your sentence is a question? Or do you think that by using more than one question mark people will be overwhelmed by a feeling compellement to answer your not-important-to-them question?
Let me be the one to break it to you. No. They won't. And yes. You should ask yourself "What happens if I jump off a cliff???"
And since it is Dave's blog I have to say, Dave, keep it up. All I can say is I wish I would have thought of writing a blog about my share of stupidity I have to deal with as a GM (in another game though) every day. Of course, you deal with stupidity as a player too, but the problem is... as a GM you have to be nice to them! So, I get it why and how this blog came to life.
For those who didn't get it yet, the blog reflects how a reply to certain GM calls SHOULD be (in a perfect world where you have to pay for your own stupidity and there are no rules and supervisors for GMs) and it is NOT how an actual reply to a retarded call actually IS. In conclusion, for all those emo people that are afraid that they'll be banned for just being stupid and post replyes like "OMG! u r way out of line" please chill, go out, take a deep breath,
hold it in...
like that...
keep going...
keep going...

And to you,Dave, keep up the good work and good writing.

At 6:56 PM, Blogger Dan Pedler said...

" I am a computer designer in structural, civil and architectural engineering capacitites"
"You people can't hold a candle stik to me in the real

Ive been reading Daves blog for a long time now and i think that that is the biggest load of crap ever. Your a computer designer. I am helping to find cures for cancer. Now tell me, how is that not "holding a candle stick" to you since i think and many other people will most likely agree that my job is more important. So before you start thinking your better than everyone else, learn who they really are.


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