Wednesday, September 27, 2006

When Good People Go Bad - Vol. 3

We continue on with our look into good players gone bad with an old favorite.

I'm sure many of you are guilty of this crime. Lord knows I've seen this enough times to account for at least half the population of FFXI.

We've all been there. You're trying to form a party, but you just can't find the right jobs.

So you make a slightly unorthodox choice.

And then another.

And then another.

Next thing you know, you've got a Warrior/Ninja tanking with a Dark Knight as your back up tank and the Black Mage is your main healer.

Congratulations! You've just formed a train wreck.

There's something about being lfg (looking for group) that just breaks the minds of otherwise reasonable players. You see all of these other people walking by in their level billion gear and you want to level, too.

And then you snap.

You start to form your own party and you don't really care who you find. You just need five warm bodies to help your get to the next level.

Look! There's a Samurai looking for a group!

Let's make him the tank.

And then the rationalizing...

You will actually manage to convince yourself that this could work. You actually think that maybe every other person is wrong and that this will be an awesome party.

And it will be.

For the three seconds before you all get horribly murdered.


This evening, I was leveling my Black Mage through the horrible Crawler's Nest levels.

As opposed to the horrible Garlaige Citadel levels...

And the horrible Jungle levels...

And the horrible qufim levels...

You get my point.

I had been lfg for quite a bit when I got a tell asking me to come to Crawler's Nest for a party. I figured what's the worst that could happen?

Isn't funny how you always ask yourself that right before fate shows you a new definition of the word "worst"?

I warp back to Jeuno and grab a chocobo. As I'm riding to CN, I get an invite to his party. Cool, we can get going right awa...

Why am I the only person in the party with him?

I'm just starting to get worried when another name pops up. Good. At least we'll have a full party soon.

Other names start to quickly appear.

Wait... We don't have a healer.

Or a tank.

And he just invited a Samurai.

I'm confused.

[GM]Dave>> Uhh...
[GM]Dave>> Who's supposed to be tanking?
Leader>> Oh, the WAR/NIN is tanking.
WAR/NIN>> I am?
WAR/NIN>> But I told you I don't tank.
Leader>> Yeah...
Leader>> There are no tanks looking right now.
[GM]Dave>> Then shouldn't we wait for one to show up?
Leader>> Don't worry.
Leader>> This will work.

Note: If someone ever tells you not to worry, it means you should worry.

If there was actually nothing to worry about, they wouldn't have to say it.

[GM]Dave>> So did you find a heal...
[GM]Dave>> Why did you invite a Dark Knight?
Leader>> He's the only one lfg.
[GM]Dave>> Well, that's a perfectly good reason.
[GM]Dave>> We're all going to die because you're impatient.
Leader>> We're not going to die.
Leader>> This is going to work.

Note: If someone ever has to tell you "this will work" more than once, it's not going to work.

If it was going to work, you wouldn't have to say it.

[GM]Dave>> Who's going to heal then?
[GM]Dave>> Did you find a Thief with a White Mage sub?
Leader>> Actually...
Leader>> Could you main heal?
[GM]Dave>> ...
[GM]Dave>> I'm a Black Mage.
[GM]Dave>> Black Mages don't heal.
[GM]Dave>> We do the opposite of heal.
[GM]Dave>> We are main UNhealers.
Leader>> There's no healers looking.
[GM]Dave>> ...
[GM]Dave>> We're all going to die.

Still, if things go bad, I've always got Escape so I can get everyone out.

OR I have warp which will get me out and leave those other people to die.

We'll see what kind of mood I'm in.

Just as we're about to go in, our "tank" sends me a tell.

WAR/NIN>> I'm going to be destroyed. TT

I should probably give him some words of encouragement.

[GM]Dave>> Yeah, probably.

Whoops. Looks like I'm fresh out of encouragement.

Well, damn.

Still, the lure of fresh exp drawing us forward, we hurried into Crawler's Nest to try out this "unorthodox" party configuration.

Exactly three minutes later, we're outside again. One guy is dead, we're all beat to hell, and I just barely managed to get us out of there in one piece.

I accidentally clicked on Escape instead of Warp.

It was perfectly obvious to everyone that this was not going to work. There was just no way that this party was going to succeed.

Leader>> So...
Leader>> Ready to try again?

Well, perfectly obvious to everyone but Captain Optimism over there.

He runs headlong back into CN shouting battle cries, trying to get us going.

And he did get us going.

In the other direction.

Optimism is a great thing, people. It is optimism that drives us to try new things and find new ideas.

Be careful that you don't confuse optimism with delusions.

Optimism allows you to take an uncharted course.

Delusions allow you to take a party into a deep, dark cave and let them get eaten.

See the difference?


At 10:13 PM, Blogger currentlypresent said...

"This is going to work" is now added to my list of phrases I never want to hear, ever again.

At 11:03 PM, Blogger BenoSmash said...

A few things:

1: I can see "This is going to work" as a macro for some poor RDM tank trying to keep themselves Healzd while the rest of the PT suffers without a real healer to speak of.

2: I can already see the people saying "Crap, I didn't get first post." Who cares? First post is cool and all. But who the hell cares? No one needs to see that waste of space.

3: I would have been super disappointed if I hit the wrong macro in that situation. I haven't experienced that horrible PT combo, but I've heard stories. Every time I think about them I shudder. *Shudders* :P

4: Still liking the blog, keep it up!

At 11:03 PM, Blogger Rai said...

"We are main UNhealers."


At 11:13 PM, Blogger Daclivont said...

Reminds me of the night i got the invite "Wana join a whm only party?"

At 11:26 PM, Blogger Garnet said...

Funny how worlds can so very different :)
Yeah I remember the horrible retard groups which I have been in while levelling (especially my 2nd char). But once you get up there WoW is very different. One of the greatest runs i've done through a 10-man dungeon was done with 6-mages (combination of elemental, frost and fire), 1 priest and 1 shaman for tanking....

And we tore it apart.

I know this blog is not about WoW, though i must admit, that quite a few of the players banned from FFXI seems to magically have migrated to our servers, since many of the incidents described here sound too familiar.

Keep it up [GM]Dave, you make inGame retards bearable to me in daily gaming.

At 12:18 AM, Blogger Hawklord2112 said...

i got a random /tell the other day.
Moron>> Can you tank?

i was.. WTF?

>>Moron {{Job}}{{Please Check it.}}


oh dear.

At 4:16 AM, Blogger Ristle said...

Theres a difference between unorthodox and completely idiotic.

One of the best CN parties I had was:
Rdm/Blm (Me)
Mnk/War (Tank)
Cant remember the last one. Very long time ago. Worked incredibly well.

Oddest party I have ever had? Dune. Of course. 2 RDMs and 4 THFs. The fact we pulled it off should have cheered me up, but it killed me a little inside :(

At 5:59 AM, Blogger fallensaviour said...

yea no whm but a nin/war (or was i subbing thief) 2 bards a blm/whm a pld/whm and random 6th guy...hey its been a while for me too...just me and 5 jp players in dunes...and it worked oh the wierd things one will do at 3 am central time in the quest for xp

At 6:32 AM, Blogger the cheshire cat said...

Saying a BLM can't main heal is like saying a SMN can't main heal.

At 8:43 AM, Blogger Jollymike said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 8:55 AM, Blogger Jollymike said...

You can't really compare a BLM healer to a SMN healer, a SMN can throw out a avatar to do damage and heal with no hinderence and they have the nice big MP boost, a BLM cannot nuke effectivly if he has to cast cure every few seconds.
Not to say it can't work if you have a good enough party, but BLM probably makes the worst healer of the mage jobs.

At 9:14 AM, Blogger makina said...

hey i started to read youre blog for about 2 weeks now & i think its really cool it also gave me theidea to start my own blog since im a tech for verizon DSL, so i kinda get your job about dealing with retards
as soon as i start it im gona post it
by the way i play WOW so in cheking to see witch one is beter
anny sugestions???

At 9:16 AM, Blogger makina said...

sorry for the misstipes since im doing it from work & i have type it in a hurry

At 10:34 AM, Blogger Calsetes said...

I know all about horrible Qufim parties. Last night, a party of 6 people, one other guy and I had subs, and everyone else was 20 without them. After it was obvious that the 2 warriors weren't voking and letting the thief/warrior (me) take the damage, the bard and I both decided we'd be better off in our own party than one consisting of (I don't speak any English.) (I don't speak any Japanese.) I feel your pain.

At 11:52 AM, Blogger Adventure Dood said...

The worst pt I've ever been in was one in quifim where the leader invited a bst who was too dumb to refuse the invite. We were about three monsters in when everyone except me (I'd realised it before monster #1) that a bst should not be pulling via charm, which she was, or using charm macros in a pt during combat, which she was, or even partying with other human beings with different jobs... which she was. Half dead and without any gain in exp at all (charm'll do that to ya)I had to open the floodgates of profanity and quit that goddamn party asap. It was great watching them after I quit, cuz not only was i invited to a pretty good party almost instantly thereafter, but we were also within sight of the gimped party of five, where I had the pleasure of watching them actually try to pull IT++ mobs and survive. All's well that ends well.

At 1:34 PM, Blogger Myloko said...

I know what you mean! I subbed summoner onto my black mage for 64 levels so that I didn't have to heal >.>

At 1:40 PM, Blogger TrueStoryGuy said...

I can relate to this, is the sad thing. However, on a lighter note, atleast my party had two blackmages to "heal" the "tank".

At 4:38 PM, Blogger Eirwen said...

BLM/SMN... odd, but sounds effective. I'm currently trying out BLM/BLU.

Let's see... I have been second and third healer for a couple of times as BLM/WHM. I did got assigned as main healer back in the Qufim days. I was lucky the party was good enough so I could keep up with the healing and throw in an elemental hit so now and then.

At 5:56 PM, Blogger WanderingJ said...

Please tell us you fed him to a dragon. The idiot sounds like he deserved it.


At 11:12 PM, Blogger Cyberdragon said...

-quote Garnet-
I know this blog is not about WoW, though i must admit, that quite a few of the players banned from FFXI seems to magically have migrated to our servers, since many of the incidents described here sound too familiar.
-End quote-

I'm sorry to hear WOW is being used as a trash bin to contain our retards from FFXI. Maybe they'll get banned there too.

To the guy asking FFXI vs WOW. Are you more into instant gratification? WOW is very good at that. Are you into gradual building your character FFXI has an edge there. It's all in your playing style which you'll like better.

At 7:12 AM, Blogger Lee said...

Good Tactics from a good leader can overcome alot of unorthodox parties but if your missing key members your just so screwed.

Bad tank can be compensated by an awesome healer. etc.

You would think [GM]Dave would have bailed on the 'tard party

At 10:15 AM, Blogger fallensaviour said...

well yea but if he didnt join the party then there wouldnt have been a story

At 1:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ha! I think I was the DRK they invited for that party...was this on Kujata?


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