Randomness
Okay, today my mind was officially destroyed. Any semblance of rational thought is forever tainted by the weirdness that I saw today.I was out shopping today. We had run out of certain luxeries (such as food) and I was forced to go out into the world and interact with other human beings.
Now, I'm not going to mention the name of the store I was in. I'll just give you a hint.
The name of the store began with a W.
And it rhymed with Wal-mart.
You'll never crack that code
Anyway, I had wandered into the Halloween aisle and on one of the displays there was a five foot skeleton. A five foot skeleton dressed as a pirate.
This, in and of itself, was not terribly odd. Given this year's pirate craze, it was almost normal.
Then someone walking by hit a button on the skeleton.
And he started to sing.
Okay... A singing skeleton. I guess some people might find that amusing. Still not terribly odd.
What did he sing? A sea shanty? A sailor's tune?
No.
He was singing "Low Rider".
Yes, as in "All my friends know the low rider."
That was when my brain imploded. All rational thought broke down as I tried to comprehend a new dimension of random insanity.
Who would buy this thing?
Better yet, who would design this thing?
The fact that any human being could create such a thing and then put it on the market makes me seriously doubt both their company and the IQ of the general populace.
I literally stood there for five minutes trying to comprehend it.
My entire faith in humanity (as it was) was so damaged that I simply could not interact with another person in the store.
I laid everything on the floor, turned, walked straight out the door, and drove right home.
Later, when my mental stability (as it was) had been restored, I reflected that leaving so qucikly was probably not the best way to handle the situation.
Especially considering Susan was somewhere else in the store at the time.
I hope she had cab fare.
posted by Goblin Smithy @ 7:24 PM
6 Comments:
I've seen that skeleton at wal-marts in the USA but we don't have it in Canada. But I agree, that is mind numbing XD
Never been to Wal-Mart, so can't say anything on this.
As usual, good post Dave.
Coming this Christmas: A skeleton, dressed as Santa, singing "Low Rider".
Something tells me this will happen in about 2 months. So Dave, stay away from the mart for a long time. There is an opening between Christmas and Easter.
oh, one quick other note...
After I read Notkesirahonest's comment: I thought we Dutchies had it bad with christmas shopping starting this month and easter eggs in January. /comfort
I can honestly beat that. A chain of stores here in Ohio has already started selling Christmas stuff. And they even went on the local news (CBS of course) and said "We just wanted to get a jump on the competition" Well, I want to get the jump on you some time buddy, and beat the hell out of you with a candy cane. IT'S STILL SEPTEMBER YOU SOB! Lol.
Stores now days, I lose faith in humanity.
Pffft Christmas? Places here have had Christmas stuff since August! That's just sad ._.
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