Thursday, September 14, 2006

[GM]Dave Is Blinded

Bad morning, bad morning, bad morning.

I rolled out of bed at the crack of eleven thirty and was actually pleased to see it was a beautiful day outside.

I'm always happy to see it's a beautiful day outside.

That's because I'm inside.

I sat up and greeted the day with a smile. Then, I turned and jumped out of my bed.

Right onto my glasses.



This is why I'm so angry. Even when I'm minding my own damned business, life comes up and kicks me in the balls.

I was going to be nice today. I can feel it. Today would have been the day when I stopped being evil altogether.

Now, I have to destroy this stupid world.

This stupid, blurry world.

I shook my hand angrily at the undefined blotches of color around me.

[GM]Dave>> DAMN YOU!

I do not handle adversity well.

Susan had gone out a little earlier to do something or other. As it did not pertain to:

a) my computer


c) sex

I really didn't bother to listen.

When she came home, she found me sitting at my keyboard and grumbling angrily at the poor unfortunate moron that had found his way into my (now blurry) line of sight.

Susan>> What are you doing?
[GM]Dave>> I'm punishing yet another idiot.
[GM]Dave>> I must scour them from our servers.
Susan>> Yes, dear. I know that.
Susan>> You put that on your business card.
Susan>> And our answering machine.
[GM]Dave>> It pays to advertise.
Susan>> Or makes me question your sanity.
[GM]Dave>> Yeah, yeah.
[GM]Dave>> Whatever.
Susan>> Did you break your glasses?
[GM]Dave>> I have no idea what you're talking about.
Susan>> Yeah, you broke them alright.
[GM]Dave>> What makes you say that?
[GM]Dave>> Maybe I don't need them anymore.
Susan>> Honey... Look at the screen.
[GM]Dave>> Yeah, so?
[GM]Dave>> I'm torturing a gil seller.
[GM]Dave>> I do it all the time.
Susan>> Okay...
Susan>> Why are you trying to feed him to Prince Trion?
[GM]Dave>> ...
[GM]Dave>> I thought Jormy was being awfully quiet.

Apparently, while choosing one blurry command from another, I had accidentally spawned Prince Trion in Mordion Gaol instead of Jormungand.

And had tried, for the better part of an hour, to make him eat a gil seller.

On the bright side, the awkward silence made the gil seller log out.

I think he learned his lesson, though.

Now, where in the hell is that "BAN" button?


At 3:57 PM, Blogger Keith said...

And this is why I enjoy the love of contacts. I've broken my glasses enough times to warrent the searing pain of putting a piece of glass on my eye and saying my vision is better.

At 4:05 PM, Blogger Drachan said...

Don't you just hate when that happens? That is one of the reasons I always keep a spare pair around, just in case I, or the grumble non-morning person I am married to, steps on them, or they become targets in the war my almost three year old is currently engaged in against me, so it is worth $500 at a time to get two pairs

At 4:06 PM, Blogger fadedrights said...

Ahah! We know [GM]Dave's weakness!

At 4:38 PM, Blogger Ristle said...

Damnit! 4th comment, so close >.<

Glasses are ftl :(

Being feed to Prince Trion eh? Interesting...

At 4:38 PM, Blogger Shayde said...

/em comfort <[GM]Dave>
/wait 2
/ma "Blindna" <[GM]Dave>
/wait 3
/em smiles warmly at <[GM]Dave>

At 5:30 PM, Blogger Calsetes said...

I also wear contacts, the daily ones. I think I took my last pair of dailys out like 3 months ago, after wearing them for like 6 months. Straight. Who needs vision?

At 5:43 PM, Blogger Esined said...

U remind me of Selma in Scooby-Doo (my son loves that cartoon) She always seems to lose her glasses and becomes blind!!!!!

At 5:53 PM, Blogger azuza001 said...

I know what you mean by having broken glass's. I lasted 5 years before getting another pair since breaking my last.

At 5:59 PM, Blogger Razmo said...

You could have spun around 100 times and tried playing pin the tail on the dragon using gil sellers....


Wait a thought just came to me...with all the paper work (read:drinking) you do at work, one would assume you could clearly take care of business with the lack of vision tools....just a thought....

At 6:01 PM, Blogger Furioku said...

Well that sucks... no banning of idiots for a while i guess.

At 7:06 PM, Blogger Zanbatou-sama said...

Well, Dave has just proven he is not as close to being God as he would have us believe. ^^

At 7:39 PM, Blogger paduse said...

Venerable [GM]Dave,

I'm in the process of uninstalling FFXI now. It was fun. But now I have to just let it go to make room for software from my employer. Your blog kept me interested in this game as well as gave me quite a few good laughs... Thanks! I regret not pissing you off enough to get eaten.

To all my friends on Alexander, this is Arahant of Fiend Slayers Inc. I'll miss torturing you, it was a blast!

Dave, if you can get to my wealth feel free to sell it to buy a case of beer! :) I'll still try to "troll" your blog whenever I have time.

With Metta (Pali language: Loving-Kindness and or Friendliness) for all the little Dee Dee Dee Dees!


At 7:52 PM, Blogger TrueStoryGuy said...

I was fortunate enough to never have that happen, but I did switch to contacts at an early age so I didn't have glasses for a very long period of time (I think 5 years).

I'm sorry [GM]Dave, I hope you get your new pair tomorrow!

/em presses his 'That was Easy!' button.

At 8:09 PM, Blogger DeaconBlue said...

Just randomly throw wrath out there, chances are somebody hit will probably deserve it :P

At 11:09 PM, Blogger TheAnaconda said...

Trion's just a little more picky about his food than Jormy is

im sure he woulda still eaten the gilseller, given time. he doesnt have as big of a stomach as jormy tho

At 4:21 AM, Blogger moofaloof said...

if you just go down on trion he usually give u gil...

At 4:55 AM, Blogger Lithos said...

I'm sure that Trion eats Tarutaru, I just have to prove it...

At 6:27 AM, Blogger Bellemithra said...

Awww poor Dave!

At 10:06 AM, Blogger Thistle said...

Ha ha. We all know that elves are... you know... so it shouldn't have been too hard to get Trion to eat the gilseller.

Unless it was a girl gilseller.

At 11:12 PM, Blogger Niddy said...

Why would you put glasses on the floor next to your bed... :/

Anyway, fun stuff, keep it up

At 5:40 AM, Blogger Jeffery RLC said...

You know, I've always been curious about this...

Why Jormy? Why not Vrtra? I mean in the (extremely) unlikely event that a player actually solos one of these hnms dragons, you'd want one that doesn't really drop anything worth the effort. (yes I know about the dragon harness but it really drops like 1 in a millionth chance)

At 6:19 AM, Blogger Remus said...

When all else fails, look for the tape!

At least that's what Remus does...

At 8:36 AM, Blogger BeastmasterFTW said...

Since no one has metioned this, I will. Why do you have Prince Trion macroed in???

At 9:53 AM, Blogger notkesirahonest said...

I must admit I wondered that too...

But, if that's what makes Dave happy in those quiet moments when there is no one to ban, well so be it.

I shall now endeavour NOT to think about what Dave gets up to with Trion in his GM room.

At 10:14 AM, Blogger shonosuke said...

Wow it saddens me that some people think gm dave is real
I mean most of his posts are really funny but Everyone who has a bit of common sense and isn´t retarded knows gm dave isn´t real

1.Head gm's can easily see what a lower gm is doing
2.All players in the posts react the same

At 12:38 PM, Blogger [GM]Dave said...

How can I argue with that? The logic is so perfect.

I mean, everyone knows that a supervisor has the time and ability to watch over every employee at every second during the day.

It's not like there's an entire office of GMs all talking with customers all day every day.

And he's right. The players do all react the same way. Got me there, too.

We all know that morons never react like that. No one would get angry first. That's silly.

Anyone who has ever worked in customer service will tell you that irate customers are all different. They don't all just whine and bitch and get angry. They all discuss matters in a quiet, sensible manner.

I am humbled by your argument. Obviously, you have proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that I must be a fake.


At 12:56 PM, Blogger Squee said...

You should really get contacts. They're much easier.

Just don't fall asleep with them on, they'll adhere to your eyes. And that's not good.

At 11:02 AM, Blogger Adventure Dood said...

in response to [GM]Dave's response to shonosuke... owned

I'm sure that most of these stories took a bit of embellishment to make them funnier and what not, but if the only peices of evidence against him are those two things, you can't call that proof. That's called insufficient evidence.

At 8:01 AM, Blogger notkesirahonest said...

Laughter makes us happy, it brightens our days. According to research it also makes us healthier and has been known to cure deseases.

It's also free, infact you just can't buy it. Trust me, I tried! there are no can's of condensed laughter on the shelves of supermarkets.

So... What we have here is something that makes us happy, improves ourt health, brightens our day, etc etc etc. It's a gift. Costs us nothing. And what does the laughter provider get in return?

A complete bile filled twat posting his drivel.

Oh go away and play with yourself some more. Mummy needs an extra sheet to make up a load of washing to put in the machine.

At 11:44 AM, Blogger Adventure Dood said...

I hope that guy of which you speak wasn't me... I'm pro laughter.

I don't care if [GM]Dave is a big phony or if he feeds me to Jormy later today. He's funny, he knows the unavoidable idiots that plague the game and thusly, no matter his actual job or the events therein, most of us can relate.

Those who can't relate... you're probably the idiots who make the game suck so much when we have to deal with you


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