Saturday, September 09, 2006

Guilty By Association

Listen carefully.

If you know someone who cheats and you benefit from it, you're no better than they are.

Yeah, yeah. You can sit there on your high horse saying how bad third party programs are, but if you watch your puller running around like a chocobo on mescaline, you're just as guilty.

I know what you're thinking. If you don't use the program yourself, you're not violating the ToS.

Do I seem like the type of person who will concede an argument based on semantics?

If you benefit from cheating, you're cheating. Plain and simple.

I was haning out around the Kirin spawn point the other night, all Metal Gear Solid and shit, watching a group of players taking on Kirin.

These players were... What's the politically correct term for them?... Oh yeah. They were morally challenged, free enterprise business people.

Translation: Gil sellers.

I like to watch them sometimes. It makes me feel like Jane Goodall living amongst the apes and studying their ways.

Only replace the apes with absolute retards.

So, I'm watching these fools take on Kirin, when, all of a sudden, one of their team members goes racing past me at mach 5.

Otu of nowhere, a classic song starts to play in my head...

Nowhere to run to, Baby. Nowhere to hide.

Seems I was going to have to act as an existance termination facilatator.

Translation: Kill them bitches.

But, as I had some extra time on my hands, I figured why not let them fight a little longer. I mean, they did use up trigger items getting him to spawn.

I'll be nice and let them enjoy the fight.

Kirin was down to five percent. Their group was obviously tired, but looked like they could handle the challenge.

Four percent. Had a couple of deaths, but they managed to regroup quickly.

Three percent. All team members are up and going and things seem to be going well.

Two percent. They're already celebrating. Everyone is doing well on hit points and mana, so there really shouldn't be any problems finishing.

One percent...

Seems like a good time for a chat.


Player1>> Come on guys. We got this.
Player2>> (( Stun )) ---> Kirin
Player1>> What's going on?
Player3>> Where are we?!
[GM]Dave>> Hail, Adventurers.
[GM]Dave>> I congratulate you on killing Kirin.
Player3>> We killed him?
[GM]Dave>> No.
[GM]Dave>> I just like being ironic.
[GM]Dave>> That's very true.
[GM]Dave>> I'm sure you would have beaten him.
[GM]Dave>> I mean he was at 1%.
Player1>> Why are you doing this to us?!
[GM]Dave>> Well, it seems one of your members has been caught cheating.
[GM]Dave>> So, I've decided to punish you all.
Player3>> ALL OF US?!
Player3>> BUT I DON'T CHEAT!
[GM]Dave>> In retrospect, you probably should have.
[GM]Dave>> You're getting banned for cheating anyway.
[GM]Dave>> At least then your gear wouldn't suck so bad.
Player1>> You can't ban us if we didn't cheat.
Player1>> We didn't even know he was cheating.
[GM]Dave>> Who?
Player1>> Player2.
Player1>> We didn't know he was cheating.
[GM]Dave>> Huh. That's funny.
[GM]Dave>> I don't remember saying it was Player2.
Player1>> ...
Player1>> Shit.
[GM]Dave>> Yeah.
[GM]Dave>> My thoughts exactly.
Player2>> PUT US BACK!!!
[GM]Dave>> There is no going back.
[GM]Dave>> There is only forward.
Player2>> What do you mean?
Player2>> We're going forward?
[GM]Dave>> Actually...
[GM]Dave>> Not so much.
[GM]Dave>> I'd say you're making a lateral move.
Player1>> What do you mean by a lateral move?
[GM]Dave>> Well, lateral means sideways.
[GM]Dave>> When I boot your ass off the server...
[GM]Dave>> I assume you will land somewhere near it.
Player3>> Can't you just ban Player2?
Player3>> I mean he cheated. We didn't.
[GM]Dave>> Did you get anything out of it?
Player3>> No.
Player3>> You didn't let us finish killing Kirin.
[GM]Dave>> I know.
[GM]Dave>> But you could have benefitted from it.
Player1>> So we're getting banned.
[GM]Dave>> Yes.
Player1>> Because that guy cheated.
[GM]Dave>> Yeah.
Player1>> Because we could have gotten something out of it.
Player1>> Even though we didn't get anything.
[GM]Dave>> That's pretty much it, yeah.
Player1>> That's insane.
[GM]Dave>> I'm not following.
Player3>> We don't deserve this.
[GM]Dave>> No, you don't.
[GM]Dave>> If I gave you what you deserve, I'd be doing twenty to life.
Player3>> Can't we work this out?
[GM]Dave>> Sure we can.
[GM]Dave>> Would you like to file an appeal?
Player3>> Yes. We want to appeal.
[GM]Dave>> No problem.
[GM]Dave>> Oh darn, your appeal failed.
[GM]Dave>> Want to try another?
Player3>> You didn't even ask us anything!
[GM]Dave>> Why would I do that?
[GM]Dave>> It might slow down the banning.
Player1>> I want to talk to your superior!
[GM]Dave>> She's not here right now.
[GM]Dave>> She's at home.
[GM]Dave>> We're having a baby.
Player1>> I don't give a damn about your baby.
[GM]Dave>> ...
[GM]Dave>> What...
[GM]Dave>> What did you just say?

That was the wrong thing to say.

I started off with the deluxe package. Dragon feeding, character deleting, the whole nine yards.

Then, I signed each of their accounts up for the maximum number of content IDs.

Then, I banned all of their IPs, so they can't access our servers and delete them.

THEN, I deleted their account files, so the customer service department won't be able to help them.

Those guys are going to be paying $40 a month until the end of time.

A small price to pay for a lesson, don't you think?


At 9:02 PM, Blogger Snakebyte1128 said...

I love your blog!

At 9:02 PM, Blogger Zarquon said...

"Those guys are going to be paying $40 a month until the end of time."

THAT put beer all over my monitor, and I think I actually ROFL'ed. Your blog, sir, is the high point of my day.

At 9:30 PM, Blogger Syphus said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 9:43 PM, Blogger InuDuelist said...


At 10:11 PM, Blogger Cruven said...

There are somethings that just should never be said and they said it.

Awesome punishment every gil seller gets what they deserve.

At 10:16 PM, Blogger Yazuni said...

ROFL, OMG this happened im ny Server! this happened like 2-3 days ago. i couldnt stop laughing when i heard about this.

At 10:55 PM, Blogger DeaconBlue said...

nice job as always

At 10:57 PM, Blogger Shutat said...

Brilliant! Absolutely priceless. Now 'that' is how you eliminate Gil-sellers, mate. I tip my hat to you, [GM]Dave. Perhaps if you'd like to watch more people like that, you could always check out Castle Oztroja on Ifrit Server. there is a wonderful gathering of them there, all waiting for your judgement. Please, keep up the wonderful job.

At 10:57 PM, Blogger Ichiroson said...

[GM]Dave = My Hero

I love your brand of justice....

At 11:00 PM, Blogger Niclamus said...

That bastard deserved that, there are some things that shouldnt be said. And gilsellers deserve it anyway but yeah.

At 11:38 PM, Blogger Isaac20 said...

Ooooh, they got owned.

At 12:35 AM, Blogger TheAnaconda said...

Player1>> I don't give a damn about your baby.
[GM]Dave>> ...
[GM]Dave>> What...
[GM]Dave>> What did you just say?

That was the wrong thing to say.

well Dave's into the idea of the baby now, rawk

good work Dave. I had to party with a Gilseller last week (the Gilseller made the party too), it was horrible >_<

At 1:04 AM, Blogger Nayathril said...

omfg. Metal Gear Solid. :3

Lets Just say I Got a Large smile at the mention Of MGS :DDD

Good job Dave. The perfect ammount of torture and punishment.

At 3:58 AM, Blogger tarinakarelia said...

"i dont give a damn about your baby"... what? what did you just say? .... OMG lol... i actually held my breath when i saw that line... Great update [Gm]Dave!!!

At 4:29 AM, Blogger Komidol said...

Wait, people benefitting from cheaters?

So isn't everyone who successfully sells an auctioned item to someone who's using bought gil a cheater?

Henceforth they're cheating just by putting items up for sale on the auction house?

That's completely illogical.

...So you better get banning anyone who's ever sold something on the auction house.

At 5:00 AM, Blogger Eldrath said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 6:46 AM, Blogger Wodah said...

This actualy happened on Siren. The only thing that's sad is they weren't all banned. That would have made me very happy in the pants, as the biggest fucking retard on Siren (the person talking, Aola, aka Leux/Larelle/Chandellier/currently Fiore) was in that group. I think he got off with a warning.

At 7:16 AM, Blogger creature124 said...

ah...its been so long since the marvel that is the deluxe package has been seen...and that went above and beyond the deluxe package.

Deluxe Package +1 (|Sell?|)

At 8:12 AM, Blogger Madmidget said...

On Siren no one got banned they all just got a slap on the wirst sad thing is they are the oldest Gil Sellers on the Server that this happen to + Aola, aka Leux/Larelle/Chandellier/currently Fiore) was in that group that sholu d had been banned like 2 years ago for all the mpking he has done

At 8:31 AM, Blogger Wodah said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 8:32 AM, Blogger ~Nitohei_Taru said...

Wow.. Brutal. $40 dollars a month.

At 8:32 AM, Blogger Wodah said...

Aola and Chandellier were banned. Leux is now another gil seller's account. His latest account (Fiore), isn't banned, yet.

At 8:55 AM, Blogger LastGun said...

cant they just cancel the credit card, or call SE and get the credit card info removed from accounts that have it attached?

At 10:45 AM, Blogger Veinor Angiol said...

Player1>> I don't give a damn about your baby.

Oh DAMN! That's definitely the STUPIDEST thing I've EVER seen ANYBODY say to ANYBODY, EVER.

At 11:49 AM, Blogger Furioku said...

oooh tough call

At 1:26 PM, Blogger Madmidget said...

I waznt talking about aloa I waz talking about Sneak and flee and the others that were up there

At 2:10 PM, Blogger Lokkin said...

Excellent blog Dave, congrats on the tarutaru! Maybe you can teach it how to be as uber-emotionless as you! You could make a mini-jormy for him and you could ban gilsellers together.

I think I just prophesised the end of all life as we know it.


Run fast. Run far.

At 3:53 PM, Blogger Wodah said...

I waznt talking about aloa I waz talking about Sneak and flee and the others that were up there

Oooh. Gotcha. :p Aola was up there with them, too. :(

At 3:55 PM, Blogger dickkead said...

"Guilty by association, judged by who I know. Can't keep all your friends out of trouble, now you've got no place to go!"

At 4:31 PM, Blogger Midnight Voyager said...

Anyone else sense the oncoming death of TheAnaconda?

At 5:35 PM, Blogger chaoszx said...

Dave.. I called for you and you didnt show... The other GM said you didnt exist... I BELIVED IN YOU!! ALL THE LAUGHS WERE A LIE!!!!! btw grats on the baby...

At 6:22 PM, Blogger Iboughtafish said...

Serve's them right!

At 6:46 PM, Blogger Airwave Angel said...

hahahaha ouch for them.

At 5:19 AM, Blogger gm'ing said...

Player1>> I don't give a damn about your baby.

HAHA he must be a retard...

Feeding their limbs to your pet could be a new kind of punishing, imagine someone missing a bellybutton.

At 5:21 AM, Blogger gm'ing said...

chaoszx and you believed them <.<

go in the game, make some gm calls and you'll meet him sooner or later

At 6:33 AM, Blogger moofaloof said...

if you just go down on fenrir he mostly stops...attacking you.... then you make a new friend

At 9:03 AM, Blogger WHM of Death said...

[GM]Dave...just think with a Mini[GM] regain "Mentor Status" again!! Yes, the Force will be strong with this one.

word of advice: UnBan MOM!! or she will be over your house 24/7 'helping' with the upcoming event....**Flashbacks** the horror constant Nm Mother in my house....where is my medication??

At 11:52 AM, Blogger moofaloof said...

join the helpful bear clan wewt!

At 11:56 AM, Blogger shadoww said...

i would like to say something they couldnt be paying $40 a month until the end of time because they could easily STOP all payment to POL

At 11:57 AM, Blogger shadoww said...

but all these are funny tho LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At 3:06 PM, Blogger jamp07 said...

Good luck with the baby.

Nice punishment to those guys.

At 6:34 PM, Blogger Tom said...

Running low on material there "[GM]"Dave?

Nice job plagiarizing a real GM call.

"Comment Deleted

This post has been removed by the author. "

At 7:37 PM, Blogger LK_fenrir said...

I love your blog GM Dave but it's a shame that you made a post on another GM's action, here's the real GM that did this, not GM Dave... here's the link

At 7:56 PM, Blogger dinnukt said...

At 5:22 AM, Blogger moofaloof said...

ik_fenrir? lmao like ur hidden and secret now? you idiot!! stfu and go the hell away. you are e-tarded dont you get it? just SHUT UP AND DIE. PLEASE. i need this in my life right now. i can only rest knowing your imminent death is at hand. wake up wednesday morning, walk to the kitchen, pour yourself a glass of orange juice, then mix it with bleach. consume. rapidly. repeat until desired effect is reached(death slow n painful like). and for the idiot who said people who put things up for sale at the AH are cheaters too, holy christ almighty you are a rock. you really are. what do you not understand about economy you waste of human flesh? oh thats right, every last bit. when all prices of all products go up and the total amount of currency increases your gil is worth less then when the game was first made. now stop using ur pea sized brain to figure this out for a moment and to understand what im telling you, matter of fact, use your left ass cheek to think since it seems to be much more intelligent then your shit for brains. if the total amount of in-game gil is 5 million and you have 200k you will be able to buy alot more with that 200k because it will be worth more. now if the total number of in-game gil
(thanks to gilsellers) is 400trillion then suddenly and miraculously 200k is shit money. youll be lucky to buy a decent set of armor with that money. so if u think someone is cheating because they sell things at the AH and make gil off of it your just a moron. but im just gonna go ahead and prove to you that i am psychic and predict your stupid asses are going to get pissed at this and claim that you are not wrong and everyone else is dickheaded. well when everyone else seems like the dickhead guess what, its probably you.
ik_fenrir if you benefit off of a cheater you ARE CHEATING. and even if you want to claim that you were AFK during the cheating fest then that is too goddamn bad! if that was the case everyone would hang out with gilsellers and claim they were afk everytime. do us a favor and get ur head out of your ass.

At 1:07 PM, Blogger skylar said...

awesome, yr blog has me eating my chiense food slowly, something i dont do. Plus "Those guys are going to be paying $40 a month until the end of time." is the best punishment i think you have given yet, GJ!

At 4:44 PM, Blogger latoomatoo said...

At 4:45 PM, Blogger latoomatoo said...

this is really the gist of it all... GM's suck

At 4:49 PM, Blogger latoomatoo said...

Fraps FTW... you didnt ban them you warned them.. get your facts straight mr GM

At 5:13 AM, Blogger moofaloof said...

you are a RETARD

At 10:57 PM, Blogger Shitomato said...

Please... please Dave come to Shiva and arid us the gil farmers!!! I would love you forever :)

At 1:29 AM, Blogger Ness said...

This is probably the most creative punishment of retards i have ever seen...


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