Monday, September 11, 2006

Oh, The Irony

GAH!

Okay, this is just getting damned ridiculous. I still don't have internet access at my new place.

You no doubt figured this out from the lack of update yesterday. Also, the aching void in your soul that only my witty writing can assuage.

I really do apologize for the update schedule lately. I've been running from one friend's place to another just to finish the updates that I have been making.

Do you see what I go through for you, my loyal readers?

And poor Susan...

She's right now curled up at home in the fetal position, sucking on her thumb, and mumbling "noconnectionnoconnectionnoconnection".

I went to hook up my brand new modem last night. After all that wait and the annoying delays, I finally held my internet package in my hands.

I was in ecstacy.

That's "in". Not "on".

I ventured into the tangled maze of cables and power bars that lays behind my computer desk, and managed to hook it up.

That was hard. Yellow cord goes to the yellow square on my modem. Blue cord, blue square.

I would have been lost if they hadn't included an installation CD with flash movies showing how to hook it up.

Yes. They actually included a CD.

A retarded monkey could have put this together with minimal effort. Even if he was colorblind, I'm pretty sure he could figure out that the ethernet cable went in the port marked ethernet.

I weep for society that some of our members make this CD necessary.

I can only imagine these cromagnon people trying to use their computer.

TechSupport>> Can I help you?
Customer>> Yes. My computer isn't on.
Customer>> Fix it.
TechSupport>> Okay. You mean it's not turning on?
Customer>> It's not on.
TechSupport>> Yes, sir. Have you tried turning it on?
Customer>> But it's not on right now.
TechSupport>> I gathered.
TechSupport>> Try turning it on.
Customer>> Is there a manual for that?
Customer>> Maybe a CD with pretty pictures?
TechSupport>> We sent you a CD, sir.
Customer>> Yeah, but it didn't work.
TechSupport>> What do you mean?
Customer>> I put it in my car's CD player, but it didn't work.
Customer>> Sounded terrible.
TechSupport>> You need to put the CD in your computer.
Customer>> But it's not on right now.
TechSupport>> *gunshot*

Anyway, I go through the all the trouble of hooking up the modem, but the DSL light doesn't come on.

I check the phoneline. Working.

Check the modem. Working.

Great. So now I had to call Tech Support.

I spend 27 minutes on hold, listening to music that must have been selected by someone who hates music and wants it to die.

On the 28th minute, Brad picks up.

Brad>> Hi, Tech Support.
Brad>> Brad speaking.
Brad>> How can I help you?
Dave>> The DSL light on my modem isn't on.
Dave>> I was wondering if there was a problem.
Brad>> Let me just look up your account.

*another 5 minute wait*

Brad>> Okay, your DSL isn't on.
Dave>> ...
Dave>> I figured that out.
Dave>> The DSL light indicates if the DSL is on.
Dave>> The light was not on.
Dave>> I managed to figure out the DSL was not on.
Dave>> My question is why isn't it on?
Brad>> The light isn't on because the DSL isn't on.
Dave>> ...
Dave>> Not the light, Brad. I know why the light isn't on.
Dave>> Why isn't my DSL on?
Brad>> Oh...
Brad>> Let me check...

*yet another wait*

Brad>> Ah...
Brad>> Seems there's a problem.
Dave>> Let me guess.
Dave>> A problem with my DSL.
Brad>> Exactly.
Dave>> I'm shocked.
Dave>> What problem?
Brad>> They haven't turned it on yet.
Dave>> Who is "they"?
Brad>> Sales.
Brad>> Sales has to sign off on the order.
Dave>> You mean Sales who I called to set it up?
Brad>> Yeah.
Dave>> Sales who mailed me a modem?
Brad>> Yeah.
Dave>> And they didn't turn it on?
Brad>> I guess not.
Dave>> Any reason why?
Brad>> Oh, you'd have to call Sales for that.
Dave>> And, just taking a shot in the dark...
Dave>> Sales is closed right now.
Brad>> Yeah.
Brad>> But you can call tomorrow.
Dave>> I'm giddy with anticipation.

So, this morning, I get up and call Sales.

I tell Sales my problem.

Sales tells me that they don't handle orders like that.

That's a Tech Support job.

I should have called Tech Support.

I tell them I did call Tech Support.

They are mystified.

They suggest I call Tech Support again.

I die a little inside.

I call Tech Support.

Brad>> Hi, Tech Support.
Brad>> Brad speaking.
Brad>> How can I help you?
Dave>> Honestly...
Dave>> I doubt you can.
Brad>> What's the problem?
Dave>> I called you last night.
Dave>> My DSL light wasn't on.
Dave>> You told me to call Sales.
Dave>> Sales says you're retarded.
Brad>> Your DSL light isn't on?
Dave>> No.
Brad>> That's definitely a Tech Support issue.
Dave>> That's why I called you the first time.
Brad>> I don't know why they would tell you to call Sales.
Brad>> Do you know who you were speaking to?
Dave>> Yes.
Dave>> You.
Brad>> Oh...
Brad>> That's weird.
Dave>> Getting weirder by the second.
Brad>> Let me check your account.

*10 minute wait*

Brad>> Yeah, your DSL isn't on.
Dave>> ...
Dave>> Hey! You're right!
Dave>> Maybe we should fix that.
Brad>> No problem.
Brad>> Unfortunately, Sales hasn't signed off on this yet.
Brad>> So, they haven't turned your DSL on yet.
Dave>> I'd call that a problem.
Brad>> Yeah, you need to call Sales.
Dave>> No, Brad.
Dave>> You're going to call Sales.
Dave>> You're going to get them to fix this.
Dave>> I'm going to get home and find my DSL light on.
Dave>> Or you will have a DSL modem lodged inside you.
Brad>> Let me make a call.
Dave>> I thought you might.
Brad>> Thank you for calling, sir.
Dave>> It's been the exact opposite of a pleasure.
Brad>> And remember, if you have more problems...
Brad>> You can visit our website for assistance.

I swear that the above is entirely true. Almost word for word.

Even the part where he reminded me that I can get internet assistance on their website.

Assistance for when my internet isn't working.

On their website.

My brain hurts.

Note: I am well aware of the irony of me getting terrible customer service. I even pointed it out in the title. You'd have to be a jackass to point out the irony.

So, don't.

Jackass.

61 Comments:

At 9:33 AM, Blogger azuza001 said...

I always wondered why they would put technical support for when your internet is out on the web. Kinda the chicken before the egg situation isn't it?

Hope you get your Net fix bud.

 
At 9:34 AM, Blogger azuza001 said...

I always wondered why they would put technical support for when your internet is out on the web. Kinda the chicken before the egg situation isn't it?

Hope you get your Net fix bud.

 
At 9:43 AM, Blogger Myloko said...

I know how you feel Dave, I get retards like the first example coming to me all the time! XD

 
At 9:44 AM, Blogger moofaloof said...

SECOND IM SECOND WOOOOTTTTT!!! WEWT WEWT WEWT!!!

 
At 9:44 AM, Blogger moofaloof said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 9:51 AM, Blogger moofaloof said...

wow how ironic that someone would treat u like crap and not want to solve ur problem. the only difference is ur not a complete retard like EVERYBODY ELSE!!! wewt... oh! by the way, if you just go down on the tech support guys and the sales guys you get everything taken care of immediately and free...just a thought...

 
At 10:24 AM, Blogger InsertNameHere said...

I have actually had a tech support person request that I disconnect my cat.

To make sure he wasn't talking about CAT-5 cable I verified, "my cat, four legs, purrs, has a tail?" to which he replied yes.

Humanity should never have removed Darwin from evolution.

 
At 10:26 AM, Blogger Vico Surge said...

We tell you to visit our website from somewhere else although we know it's absolutely stupid. Oh and the disc is there for people to fucking make the installation but apparently people are so retarded they brain goes in flames when they see so many cables and shit inside a package they just ignore the CD and make a half-assed installation then call back complaining their shit is not working, and I wonder why... By the way. Are you Mr. David Pitman from MN, or was it MA?, who bought a Dry Loop from Verizon DSL and called on Friday on the night? You probably won't answer that one but it's just something I want to get out of my system.

 
At 10:54 AM, Blogger gm'ing said...

bradd: sir we understand your dsl isn't on and therefore can't connect to the intnernet, please visit our homepage for further support.

 
At 10:57 AM, Blogger WanderingJ said...

XD Moofaloof's a jackass now.

Also, I know the frustration of DSL tech support. The connection at my house has decided to die a few times without explanation, and every time I had to call tech support in my mom's place in order to get it fixed.

Two-thirds of the time I was stuck with a quarter-unintelligible Indian man.

And half the time the person I talked to listed steps that I'd already tried. At least twice.

And every time I made a call or needed to be transferred to another person, I was put on hold for an ungodly amount of time.

Makes an impatient person want to hunt down and horribly mutilate all tech support retards, doesn't it?

 
At 11:24 AM, Blogger SmallHalo said...

i think that the installion CD/DVD is for the computer tech training. they must have accidently started putting in the boxes.

 
At 11:30 AM, Blogger moofaloof said...

wanderingj, *sigh* if you just go down on the service providers you get free stuff...try it, it worked for me...

 
At 11:43 AM, Blogger Zelkari said...

You give excellent customer service Dave. You remove some of the endless sea of retards from FFXI, which the few intelligent players gladly thank you for.

It's not your fault some of the dumbasses you ban also happen to work as a customer service rep at (insert ISP here).

 
At 12:33 PM, Blogger creature124 said...

ugh. i ahte tech supports. that why im trainign to be one. the world deserves at least one good tech support.

 
At 12:37 PM, Blogger Onionsoilder said...

Vico Surge, he lives in Canada, so I highly doubt it.

 
At 12:49 PM, Blogger Czarina said...

Meh, International Costumer Service people tend to go retard after some time. I almost did.

The most memorable one I had from my time in Dell´s CS was with a very piss woman and it went like this.

-Listen you *random curses*, I am trying to talk with my daughter using MSN/AIM (I can´t remeber which). She is not hearing me. FIX IT.

So I spend a lot of minutes dirrecting her to check driver/volume/plugs while she kept constantly cursing me. Then my brain turned on after realizing this woman was a retard, so I asked her the most retard stuff.

-Miss, are you using a headset with a mic on it.
-Yes
-Have you checked if the mute button is turned on?
-Of course I did...... shit *calls suddenly cuts there*

 
At 12:53 PM, Blogger Spoonybard said...

I think [GM]Dave just got the dragon treatment >.>

Gret story, everytime I call for technical assistance I get the same run around... Last time they told me to reverse my ethernet cable... that reminds me, I need to send a basket of dead rodents to Jason in tech support for his knowledgable assistance lol

 
At 1:14 PM, Blogger Shadow said...

You don't perchance use Verizon, do you?

I had a similar problem with my DSL modem not connecting, and i kept getting bounced between sales and tech support (and that *&#$^ menu you actually have to speak to).

after about 2 days of this i promply went crazy and started being nasty. From that point it took them a whole 3 minutes to get it to work

 
At 1:17 PM, Blogger TheMerciless said...

That's almost word for word the service I had when I started using my DSL modem through SBC Yahoo.

 
At 1:31 PM, Blogger Furioku said...

tech support is full of idiots who never really help you but rarely help but even then it is very little so i want to know why they even have the job.

 
At 1:31 PM, Blogger Yo Alejandro said...

I wouldn't call that irony, more of a: what would happen if customer service is the retard instead of the customer?....

 
At 1:50 PM, Blogger Homer said...

how ironic.

 
At 2:40 PM, Blogger Exc said...

One of your better posts Dave! That was a damn funny one. Say Dave, is this where you live? http://www.whitepages.com/9901/map/map?CountryRegion=US&lat=42.629892&Subdivision=MA&AddressLine=31+Eastern+Ave&PrimaryCity=Essex&PostalCode=01929&long=-70.769010&

 
At 3:00 PM, Blogger Captain Obvious said...

using my incredible psychic powers, i can deduce that you're working with Verizon.

because that's pretty much a transcript of conversations i had with them.

if you ARE working with Verizon, may i please recommend that you abort immediately and go with something else?

because it took me four MONTHS to get my DSL set up.

no, i'm not kidding. MONTHS. four of them. involving a phone call like that once every other day. and by the end of it the only reason i got DSL at all is because i got an anti-brad who looked at my account and said "ok...everyone else has screwed this up so bad that i need to do something in the next five minutes or i see you're internet is schedule to be shut off forever...call me back on my cell phone" and then after we did whatever voodoo that hee doo i said "how can i thank you?" and he said "you can't, i just broke company policy. if you thank me i'll get fired."

four months. beware.

 
At 3:02 PM, Blogger Nikeplektrum said...

My grandma calls me all the time.

Grandma - "The iMac isn´t working"
Nikeplektrum - "Did you turn on the power?"
Grandma - *annoyed* "Of course I did"
Nikeplektrum - "Check again"
Grandma - *sounding like I was right but she won´t admit it* "Its on, it´s not working, but it´s not important, ill call you later"

 
At 4:14 PM, Blogger Adventure Dood said...

My sympathy for you knows no bounds. Imagine how hard it is to call tech support while being inherently polite like my mother. They make that poor woman hold for so long that she could learn how to fix the problem herself, apply, and be hired by the company that is "capable" of fixing it by the time they get back to her. You on the other hand are fortunate enough to speed the process ever so slightly with the power of anger.

Since you can't use your broken internet to look at the tech support website, you should see my friend who lives on the top of Mt. McKinley. He'll teach you how to climb mountains.

 
At 4:16 PM, Blogger dickkead said...

Here at my work (in the department that I work in) we do tech support. There's a few different kind of people that work in this area, and depending apon who you get when you call is depending apon if your problem will be fixed quickly or not. There's a few different kind of tech support agents you'd have the pleasure of speaking to.



#1) "The apology agent" This is the person that says they are sorry too much. Yeah, it's comforting if we say "I'm sorry you're having this problem..." but then it's a total other story when they worry more about being sorry than they do the true problem at hand.



#2) "The been here too long agent" These are the people that have been working here so long, that they truly don't care that you're even having a problem to begin with. They may have the power to fix the problem quickly, but they'd rather just sigh and wish they were dead.



#3) "The get them off the phone agent" This is the person that wants to get the people off the phone as fast as possible. The second they hear that you're using a router, they give you the phone number for the router company. Once they walk throught the cheat sheet on what could be the problem and nothing seems to be wrong, they send you over to Microsoft tech support. This agent isn't willing to go outside the box to help a customer.



#4) "The I'll help you agent" This is the category that I personally fall into. If a customer has a problem, this type of agent actually works to fix it. No big "I'm sorry's", and no beating around the bush. We find out what's causing the problem, and make sure it gets fixed. If you happen to call and get on of this type of agent, most likely they will give you their extension at the end of the call, to ensure to you that they truly want to fix the problem at hand.



#5) "The outsource agent" This is by far the worst agent that there is. When calls get backed up here in the local support center we outsource calls to Canada. If you get one of these agents, you might as well just hangup. Unless the problem that you're having can be solved with a simple reset of your cable modem, this agent cannot help you.



Those are about the five different type of support agents that we have here where I work. Decide which one you'd like to talk to if you ever have a problem. You won't get that one. I hope you like hold times.

 
At 5:26 PM, Blogger Aerisrannara of Fairy said...

^_^ I Love tech support. worked as a tech rep for almost 4 years... someone pisses you off... you can completely screw up their computer then tell them to call the company they bought the computer from. And if you do so correctly... it doesn't come back around to bite you in the ass.

 
At 5:55 PM, Blogger Nekonezume said...

Oh my GOD.

Do you use Aliant? I am having almost the exact same problem with the exact same sort of idiots trying to solve it.

If you don't use Aliant, well . . . I'm truly surprised there are equally terrible ISPs out there. :|

 
At 6:04 PM, Blogger Vatar said...

Tech Support... *shudders*
I know how you feel. I'm a Networking Major and everytime I call Tech Support about something, they are like this

Tech Support: Sir, We'll need to a trained professional out to fix that problem.
Vatar: Don't waste your time.
Tech Support: But sir, you'll need the trained professional to connect [device1] into [device2].
Vatar: I've already done that. I am a Networking Major...
Tech Support: So you managed to connect [device1] to [device2] without a trained professional?
Vatar: ...Give me your manager or smash your head against the table. Whichever is easiest for you.

 
At 6:31 PM, Blogger WanderingJ said...

Moofaloof: Remember this at the end?

"Note: I am well aware of the irony of me getting terrible customer service. I even pointed it out in the title. You'd have to be a jackass to point out the irony.

So, don't.

Jackass."

Well, guess what you did?

 
At 8:12 PM, Blogger Karmakin said...

Actually, knowing a bit about this stuff myself, the problem isn't the poor tech support guy, who's QA'd to death (hint, that's where the website thing came from).

The problem is with sales...how can I put this in terms that you'll understand Dave...ah yes.

They're gilsellers.

You? You're nothing. You're just a piddly bee to them. (I havn't played FFXI in years:p..I liked killing those bees 'tho) They just want to get rid of you ASAP so the NM can spawn, so they can get the loot, so to speak.

In reality, the original sales guy probably either

a. Forgot to push the button on his end to say "Dave does want this service!"

or

b. A new period is coming up, and wants to save the comission for the next period. So they'll hold on to the file for a few days, then when it would make their number look best, hit the button and collect the loot.

Unfortunatly, both for you and more than likely your good friend Brad, he was probably under very strict time limits for the call. Because of course, he wants to get HIS loot. But he was right the first time to get you to call sales. Just because their sales department is busy playing gmaes for your money....

 
At 8:18 PM, Blogger Alison the Amazing Thief said...

"And poor Susan...

She's right now curled up at home in the fetal position, sucking on her thumb, and mumbling "noconnectionnoconnectionnoconnection'."

Yep. That would be me. What do people do without an internet connection? I dont even want to imagine.

 
At 8:34 PM, Blogger WanderingJ said...

Alison:

We do something that may relate to television, games, or reading, that may or may not require travel.

Simple, no? :P

 
At 9:16 PM, Blogger Mindbleach said...

There isn't any irony in you getting poor customer service, Dave. You had a hard time with Brad and friends because of sheer ignorance and minimum-wage apathy. People who place stupid GM calls and get you have a hard time because you are a bitter, angry man with a heart whose core is made of cold-roll malice. Stupidity isn't the same as hate, even if the two share a correlation.

 
At 9:19 PM, Blogger InuDuelist said...

Cockfags.

 
At 9:22 PM, Blogger Joanna said...

Ouch . . . Just ouch.

 
At 9:24 PM, Blogger Spoonybard said...

When my video card died, and was still under warrenty, the guy at the computer shop told me they could fix it... in 5 days. I told him if he brought the card and a screwdriver to me I could do it in front of him in under 10 minutes... he laughed and said that would void the warrenty.

I ended up paying $50 for same day service... I don't think I could live without my entire PC for 5 days... internet, it would be pushing it, but my whole PC, I think I'd go on a killing spree.

 
At 9:38 PM, Blogger Knyte said...

who bought a Dry Loop from Verizon DSL and called on Friday on the night?

phission mailed!!!! typed english broken here.

i guess i am lucky with tech support people, they help me...and no i dont go down on them, ya sick baystad

 
At 10:25 PM, Blogger Sutaru said...

Oh god. You're having a child. *facepalms*

 
At 12:32 AM, Blogger Jed said...

... A little slow on the uptake I see

/ontopic
Took 2 weeks for my line to get started.
Can get service? Check.
Hardware? Check.
Fees and stuff all done? Check.
Isp can fit us on the board? Check.
Guy pressed button? No.

I cried a little.
"Oh yes sir we can do that right now!"
Me: "Gr-"
"Done sir. Anything else I can help you with?"
Me: "... what the hell..."
o-O

 
At 12:37 AM, Blogger HapRish said...

If you havn't still ran into your ISPDSL center with a few shotguns and whatnot, I had to same problem with setting up my sisters DSL, pain in the mutha ephin ass. Dealing with Tech Support is just like you dealing with 2000 GM Calls about 'hacks' 'idiiosts' and the whole crap load of all those people. Anyways, i suggest Cable. :)

 
At 3:38 AM, Blogger Airwave Angel said...

welcome to retardation at its finest.

I especially enjoy getting the check the website message when the entire damn unit isn't working.

I think they take it for granted that there is just more than one comp in the house.

 
At 6:22 AM, Blogger Bryan said...

I have had that exact same problem with NHL.com order service. Pissed the bloody hell out of me. I reordered this sweater four times and each time they cancelled it and didn't even tell me why. Tech Support needs a definite make over haha.

 
At 8:53 AM, Blogger Citizen Bleys said...

You think tech support agents are bad? Think of the people they deal with.

trying to determine what OS you're troubleshooting
Agent: "What version of Windows are you running?"
Customer: "Windows 2000 XP...Millenium Edition."
Agent: "What version of Windows are you running?"
Customer: "Windows XP, Service Pack 4."

Checking for attenuation
Agent: "How long is the phone cord between the modem and the wall jack?"
Old Guy: "Since April."

Checking for electromagnetic interference
Agent: Is the modem within 12' of any other electrical devices?
Customer: OF COURSE NOT! I have it sitting right on top of my computer. Underneath the modem."

(I'd reference the guy who said he had his modem under a tesla coil, but he had to have been trolling. Had to be. Please God, he was trolling.)

And my personal favorite:

Trying to identify which of a dozen modems the customer is using
Agent: What lights do you have on the front of the modem?
Old lady: Well, I have the kitchen light, the living room light, the bathroom light, and the office light. Do you think those could be causing a problem?
Agent: Yes ma'am, I'm going to need you to turn those off.
Old lady: OK, they're off.
Agent: Now can you see the lights on the front of your modem?

 
At 8:55 AM, Blogger Citizen Bleys said...

Crap. In the EMI case, the modem was sandwitched between the PSU on the computer and the router. Not another modem.

 
At 10:38 AM, Blogger Vico Surge said...

Citizen Bleys, I know what you mean man. I have received calls from people that tell me brands I have never heard of or even Operative Systems I didn't knew that existed. Like a "Zoom" Modem or Phantom O/S or some shit like that.

 
At 12:44 PM, Blogger Steve the Pirate said...

You're not using SBC Yahoo, are you?

Worst. Providers. Ever.

 
At 2:09 PM, Blogger Morzrath said...

I think I pointed out the irony in a previous article you wrote on buying memory, but an internet connection is WAY too important to point it out here.

Anyone getting in the way of someone and their internect connection is a Jackass. Anyone pointing out irony on said topic, is also a jackass.

Some things you just don't joke about. Someone with serious health issues, owing 10 large to a loanshark, and not having an internet connection. Just too serious to be trifled with.

 
At 6:17 PM, Blogger Zanbatou-sama said...

Well, that's karma for you. ^^

I wonder if Dave actually reads his comments or if he's just decided, "They're flaming or they're posting complements, I'm not missing anything."

 
At 8:04 PM, Blogger mysticoblivion said...

omfg...i work for mcleodusa tech support and i'm sorry to say our customer care department is just like that...as soon as the term dsl is spoken by the customer, they send them to us, even if it's a phone issue.

 
At 8:21 PM, Blogger nano said...

Just thank Altana you didn't get a BOFH, or connection could be very far away...

 
At 7:04 AM, Blogger Citizen Bleys said...

I am a BOFH :)

If you have an IQ greater than your shoe size, BOFHs will probably like you just for the break from the interminable stream of idiocy.

 
At 2:27 AM, Blogger DataFork said...

Can I beat that Brad person for you? I work in a DSL support center for a Canadian ISP and I want to inflict much pain on some of the retards that work there. I end up fixing the crap they have their head too far up their asses to deal with. A problem like yours would have taken me 5 minutes flat from start of call to the time I tell sales to shove their order and 30 seconds later you'd have been online. I hate sales too. They are a bunch of retards also.

Oh and I hate to say it but you know that CD with the flash based instructions? The customers lose to the retarded colorblind monkeys....then they call and annoy me with their stupidity of them not even having the modem out of the damn box.

 
At 5:59 PM, Blogger Vaare Valentino said...

I love you man, seriously I do. And I feel your pain, oh-so much. I work part-time at a local computer shop. Although the idiocy isn't from our end (usually), it's still extremely freakin irritating. To get an idea of how frequently random idiots call our number for help, I'll give a small example:

This happened TODAY. I walk into the shop, just to pay a short visit to my bosses John and Tanber. The phone rings right when I enter. John answers it.

John>>Computer Parts and Upgrades, how may I help you?
Woman>>Yes, my laptop's not turning on
John>>It's not turning on? Ma'am, is the computer plugged into the power adapter?
Woman>>Yes
John>>And is the adapter plugged into a power outlet
Woman>>......... No
John>>Plug it in, sweetie
Woman>>Ok, it's working now. Thank you.
John>>You're welcome sweetheart.
*hangs up*
John>>Why doesn't God just smite all the fucking retards....

What we go through on a daily basis.... It's sad, really.... I hope that woman doesn't have a driver's license....

 
At 12:25 PM, Blogger chocobochicken said...

I last had to call tech support when my Comcast cable modem connection stopped working. The technician had me:
* Power-cycle the modem
* Reboot the computer
* Try loading webpages on both Firefox and IE (DNS errors)
* Try renewing my IP address (could not contact DHCP server)
* Try pinging comcast.com (host not found)

Finally, he asked me to ping 127.0.0.1, and magically I start getting replies. At this point, he tells me my internet connection is working fine, that I have a web browser problem, and I would need to contact the browser manufacturers.

O_O

I spent the next 10 minutes trying to explain to him that 127.0.0.1 is reserved as the loopback address on the NIC card and that all I've done is essentially connect to myself. But he didn't listen and assured me that 127.0.0.1 was the IP address registered for comcast.com.

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

 
At 7:06 PM, Blogger mysticoblivion said...

ok, sorry last one was so short, but i had to rush home :-/
DataFork, i'm right there with you...i swear to God i'm the only one that works in this place that know what the hell i'm talking about sometimes... the worst part is, i know there are people out there worse than the people i work with, and they're calling for help! ever had a "tech guy" call you who knew absolutely nothing aboiut what they were supposed to be doing? i get 2 of those a day... and choco chicken, on behalf of the tech support community that knows what they are talking about, i apologise. there just aren't enough of us in existance for you to not have to wait 1/2 an hour at a time...do not lose hope, we are out there...

 
At 1:46 AM, Blogger DataFork said...

mysticoblivion: As yes. The people who think they are a "tech guy" and know what they are talking about. Most of them haven't even mastered a lightswitch let alone a computer. Had one today. He was positive that windows was asking for a username and password (plus a phone number) to connect to DSL. He had somehow gotten into the dialup setup wizard and was absolutely adament that DSL always asked for this. After dropping a few hints he belonged on a short yellow bus, which he didn't pick up on, I gave him a few really simple instructions. 1) Finish installing Windows before bothering me and 2) open a damn browser then go annoy Dell, not me.

 
At 9:17 PM, Blogger cryptic edge said...

They tried that crap with me as well, only it was SBC who tried to have me reboot and reconfigure my cables several times claiming it was on my end when they had a faulty dslam until I shared with them my setup, background, job, test equipment, and desire to have them plastered on atleast 2 tech news sites about the failures of their customer service department after 3 days. The next day they were here running diagnostics and putting in a new dslam at the hub. Never had a problem after that and got my account flagged as a priority for if I do need anything (new line put in - 2 hrs after call on offduty hours)

 
At 10:10 PM, Blogger Exc said...

Where the hell is [GM]Dave? He hasn't posted in awhile, I think we should be worried.

 
At 7:36 PM, Blogger Broadband Guy said...

I found an easy way to check Verizon DSL with MSN availability since they keep changing the price all the time. I got Verizon DSL with MSN here.

 

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