1400 Is The Loneliest Number...
I love some days.Scattered amongst the countless days of dealing with the functionally retarded of Vana'diel, there are a few rare days of pure joy.
We call them Banning Days.
Now, I know what you're saying. Isn't every day a Banning Day for [GM]Dave?
Well... Yeah... Kind of.
But these are sanctioned bannings.
Do you know why we had this particular Banning Day? Do you know why we banned 1400 accounts for using third party software?
We did it because people are stupid.
Stupid.
Stupid.
Stupid.
People who use third party software to cheat are annoying. It ruins game balance and messes up the economy.
But that's only part of the reason why we hate third party software.
We mostly hate it because people who have no idea what in the hell their doing download random programs off the internet. Then they come whining to us when their account gets "hacked".
Can you even comprehend how damned irritating that is?
First off, you didn't get hacked.
No one was breaking through firewalls or running algorithms while techno music played in the background. You downloaded a keylogger and it just sent your password to someone who is apparently smarter than you.
Now, many of you are probably thinking that they're not smarter than you.
Well, you don't have their password, now do you?
Second, it's really not our responsibility to help you at this point.
You tried to break the rules. While doing so, someone decided to kick your ass. That's not our problem.
That's karma.
I know, I know. We have a responsibility to our customers.
Unfortunately (for you), you ceased to be a customer the second you downloaded third party software.
There's not a single person out there that thinks this is right. Sure, you can justify it, say it's not that serious. But deep down, you know that anything you download is a third party app.
You know it.
So, don't come crying to us when someone uses your greed and stupidity against you.
But, no. Every damned day someone sends a GM call to complain that they "got hacked".
I weep for humanity.
And they always act like they have no idea why it happened.
A few days ago, I got another of these calls. We call them suicide calls because these people are just asking to die.
GM Call Description: My account got hacked. All items missing. Help.
Sigh.
Let me check my files. Add up all the known third party users plus the idiots that call us about "getting hacked"...
Hey, look at that.
1401.
I made a note to mention that to my supervisor.
Then, I logged in. Can't keep a customer waiting.
[GM]Dave>> Hail, Adventurer.
[GM]Dave>> I understand you "got hacked".
Player>> Yeah...
Player>> But why are you using quotation marks?
[GM]Dave>> I don't know what you "mean".
Player>> You just did it again.
[GM]Dave>> No, I didn't.
[GM]Dave>> Let's move on.
[GM]Dave>> How exactly did you "get hacked"?
Player>> I downloaded this program...
Player>> And then all of my stuff disappeared.
[GM]Dave>> ...
[GM]Dave>> Okay.
[GM]Dave>> Who gave you this program?
Player>> I don't know.
[GM]Dave>> Let's go through that again.
[GM]Dave>> What did you do?
Player>> I downloaded a program.
[GM]Dave>> And who gave it to you?
Player>> I have no idea.
[GM]Dave>> Let's do it one more time.
Player>> Are you kidding?
Player>> Why would we do that?
[GM]Dave>> Well... If we keep going over it...
[GM]Dave>> I'm hoping you'll figure out why it's retarded.
[GM]Dave>> I doubt it, but it could happen.
Player>> I'm insulted.
[GM]Dave>> On a daily basis, no doubt.
Player>> You have to find out who did this.
[GM]Dave>> No...
[GM]Dave>> I know who did this.
Player>> You do? That's great!
Player>> Who did it?
[GM]Dave>> You did.
Player>> WHAT?!
[GM]Dave>> I can't believe someone could be that stupid.
[GM]Dave>> You're obviously behind the whole thing.
Player>> That's ridiculous!
[GM]Dave>> I know.
[GM]Dave>> I totally believe you could be that stupid.
[GM]Dave>> And yet... I do nothing.
Player>> There must be something you can do.
[GM]Dave>> Well...
[GM]Dave>> There is one thing...
Player>> Thank god.
Player>> Do it.
[GM]Dave>> I don't think you'll like it.
Player>> I don't care.
Player>> Do it!
[GM]Dave>> You're the boss.
*warp*
Player>> What's going on?!
Jormungand hits Player for 12,999 points of damage.
Player was defeated by Jormungand.
[GM]Dave>> I told you you wouldn't like it.
See, I understand people downloading third party software. I don't agree with it, but at least I can understand why they do it.
But dammit, if you choose to use third party software, then you choose to risk your account.
Don't come crying to us because you were stupid.
We don't have that kind of time.
Honestly, we burned 1400 accounts not just to save game balance.
We did it to save our time.
Also, our sanity.
1401 less idiots makes the world a better place.
posted by Goblin Smithy @ 4:07 PM
9 Comments:
Thats very true. People don't know the begining of what can be done with a computer. They think that it is impossible for the GMs to find out they are running third party software, and that nothing bad can come from downloading random things because they have some crappy virus scanner that they downloaded off a pop-up ad.
Amen to that [GM]Dave! Amen to that!
How many of them got deluxe packages? All of them? Inquiring minds wish to know...
Stupid people... I wish you could ban people in real life... "You! I ban YOU from real life... For being too retarded to understand that player killing is baaaaaaaaaaaad"
Other than that I agree with majority of the comments, people who use third party software and think that they have rights are just... idiots. Then again, people who use third party software are generally idiots anyway... Way to ruin a game...
Unfortunately everytime a GM bans one third party software user another two arise... Same with Gil sellers...
Soon management will give up and either FFXI will be overrun by stupid gil selling, third party software using idiots. That or it'll get shut down...
[GM]Dave goes undercover in WOW ?
[GM]Bekyn: Greetings. This is Game Master Bekyn. May I have a moment of your time?
Hplayer: Sure.
[GM]Bekyn: How has your night been?
Hplayer: Uhh... Pretty good. Why?
[GM]Bekyn: What are you doing at this moment?
Hplayer: Just getting ready to auction off some stuff.
[GM]Bekyn: Do you think you will make money off of it?
Hplayer: Yeah. Why?
[GM]Bekyn: Well, I regret to inform you that you will not see that money.
Hplayer: Err.. Why? Did the AH just explode or something?
[GM]Bekyn: No.
Hplayer: Then, wtf?
[GM]Bekyn: Well, are you eating anything?
Hplayer: wtf does that have to do with anything. and yes, I'm eating a donut.
[GM]Bekyn: Mmmmm... I like donuts. Can I have one?
Hplayer: No, I'm hungry.
[GM]Bekyn: Oh that makes me sad. But not as sad as it makes me to tell you that you will not be able to access this game on this account again.
Hplayer: Motherfucker. You are really pissed that I didn't give you that donut! lrn2geturownfood
[GM]Bekyn: You need to lrn2bot nub.
Hplayer: Eh. Fuck you.
[GM]Bekyn: No thanks. I'm married.
This from a cheaters forum... Or as they prefer to call themselves "Gilders"...
Actually, if he's going to play Disgaea 2, it's more like...
[GM]Dave hit Zombie for 32055344465693039857830303857300349483829292923
damage.
I think hitting him with Jormie was a little lenient.
Deserved to be smacked upside the head.
With a large object.
With a SHARP large object.
i say... windowers shouldnt not be bannable... unless it has more haxy thing than just a windower.. . things that will really... really! give u some advantage over ppl
While super Dave likes to point out the obvious,there is a bigger problem to which his so called hierarchy of intelligence has not EVER been able to figure out.
I actually had my account stolen,not from downloading anything.Someone hacked into my email and all they would see is that i have an account with Square,but there is absolutely no information of any kind on my computer that would allow them access into my account.
Yahoo immediately blocks my email and sends a message to my other account that it was compromised from an ip in Japan.
Suare Enix does not have any IP tracking,they are either not smart enough or too dam lazy to give a crap.That's not the real issue i have.The issue i have is how did someone just because they have whatever they got in my email information were they able to get information to get into my account?
So i thought about it and figured someone just used all my normal ID like name,address and somehow used that to get into my account,likely by calling Square Enix up.
That leads to yet another issue.If TIME is so valuable ot super Dave and their team,then why don't they simply check IP address instead of asking tons of questions and forcing customers to go back n forth answering needless questions to verify their account?
Even a simple phone call....ok this call is coming from the legit user so all is good,no further information needed but no they go through red tape because they want to make it difficult in hopes you ignore it or go away.If you get a call from someone in JPN and i live in Canada,you know darn well to send out a red flag.
Also on the topic of keyloggers,we use the built in keyboard login,no actual keyboard presses of any kind.
SO after many years i simply wonder why and how our information is so easily leaked through their system.
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