1400 Is The Loneliest Number...I love some days.
Scattered amongst the countless days of dealing with the functionally retarded of Vana'diel, there are a few rare days of pure joy.
We call them Banning Days.
Now, I know what you're saying. Isn't every day a Banning Day for [GM]Dave?
Well... Yeah... Kind of.
But these are sanctioned bannings.
Do you know why we had this particular Banning Day? Do you know why we banned 1400 accounts for using third party software?
We did it because people are stupid.
People who use third party software to cheat are annoying. It ruins game balance and messes up the economy.
But that's only part of the reason why we hate third party software.
We mostly hate it because people who have no idea what in the hell their doing download random programs off the internet. Then they come whining to us when their account gets "hacked".
Can you even comprehend how damned irritating that is?
First off, you didn't get hacked.
No one was breaking through firewalls or running algorithms while techno music played in the background. You downloaded a keylogger and it just sent your password to someone who is apparently smarter than you.
Now, many of you are probably thinking that they're not smarter than you.
Well, you don't have their password, now do you?
Second, it's really not our responsibility to help you at this point.
You tried to break the rules. While doing so, someone decided to kick your ass. That's not our problem.
I know, I know. We have a responsibility to our customers.
Unfortunately (for you), you ceased to be a customer the second you downloaded third party software.
There's not a single person out there that thinks this is right. Sure, you can justify it, say it's not that serious. But deep down, you know that anything you download is a third party app.
You know it.
So, don't come crying to us when someone uses your greed and stupidity against you.
But, no. Every damned day someone sends a GM call to complain that they "got hacked".
I weep for humanity.
And they always act like they have no idea why it happened.
A few days ago, I got another of these calls. We call them suicide calls because these people are just asking to die.
GM Call Description: My account got hacked. All items missing. Help.
Let me check my files. Add up all the known third party users plus the idiots that call us about "getting hacked"...
Hey, look at that.
I made a note to mention that to my supervisor.
Then, I logged in. Can't keep a customer waiting.
[GM]Dave>> Hail, Adventurer.
[GM]Dave>> I understand you "got hacked".
Player>> But why are you using quotation marks?
[GM]Dave>> I don't know what you "mean".
Player>> You just did it again.
[GM]Dave>> No, I didn't.
[GM]Dave>> Let's move on.
[GM]Dave>> How exactly did you "get hacked"?
Player>> I downloaded this program...
Player>> And then all of my stuff disappeared.
[GM]Dave>> Who gave you this program?
Player>> I don't know.
[GM]Dave>> Let's go through that again.
[GM]Dave>> What did you do?
Player>> I downloaded a program.
[GM]Dave>> And who gave it to you?
Player>> I have no idea.
[GM]Dave>> Let's do it one more time.
Player>> Are you kidding?
Player>> Why would we do that?
[GM]Dave>> Well... If we keep going over it...
[GM]Dave>> I'm hoping you'll figure out why it's retarded.
[GM]Dave>> I doubt it, but it could happen.
Player>> I'm insulted.
[GM]Dave>> On a daily basis, no doubt.
Player>> You have to find out who did this.
[GM]Dave>> I know who did this.
Player>> You do? That's great!
Player>> Who did it?
[GM]Dave>> You did.
[GM]Dave>> I can't believe someone could be that stupid.
[GM]Dave>> You're obviously behind the whole thing.
Player>> That's ridiculous!
[GM]Dave>> I know.
[GM]Dave>> I totally believe you could be that stupid.
[GM]Dave>> And yet... I do nothing.
Player>> There must be something you can do.
[GM]Dave>> There is one thing...
Player>> Thank god.
Player>> Do it.
[GM]Dave>> I don't think you'll like it.
Player>> I don't care.
Player>> Do it!
[GM]Dave>> You're the boss.
Player>> What's going on?!
Jormungand hits Player for 12,999 points of damage.
Player was defeated by Jormungand.
[GM]Dave>> I told you you wouldn't like it.
See, I understand people downloading third party software. I don't agree with it, but at least I can understand why they do it.
But dammit, if you choose to use third party software, then you choose to risk your account.
Don't come crying to us because you were stupid.
We don't have that kind of time.
Honestly, we burned 1400 accounts not just to save game balance.
We did it to save our time.
Also, our sanity.
1401 less idiots makes the world a better place.