[GM]Dave Goes Multilingual
In retrospect, it was probably a bad idea to put it on my job application. But it seemed like such a good idea at the time.Here's how my thought process went:
[GM]Dave>> But I don't speak anything except english.
[GM]Dave>> I don't even speak that very good.
[GM]DavesBrain>> Oh, that doesn't matter.
[GM]DavesBrain>> Just put down that you speak French.
[GM]DavesBrain>> It'll never come up.
[GM]Dave>> Are you sure?
[GM]DavesBrain>> Completely.
[GM]DavesBrain>> You should also put down...
[GM]DavesBrain>> What's that other country in Europe?
[GM]Dave>> Russia?
[GM]DavesBrain>> No.
[GM]DavesBrain>> The other one.
[GM]Dave>> Germany?
[GM]DavesBrain>> Yeah. That's the one.
[GM]DavesBrain>> Put down that you speak German.
[GM]Dave>> I don't know.
[GM]Dave>> This doesn't seem like a good idea.
[GM]DavesBrain>> C'mon.
[GM]DavesBrain>> Trust me.
So, I put it down.
And up until today, it had never been an issue. Seems the English speaking portion of the FFXI playerbase had kept me more than busy.
And then our supervisor came in today.
Supervisor>> Guys!
Supervisor>> We're getting hammered by calls from European players.
Supervisor>> All multilingual employees are going to handle these calls.
Supervisor>> I'll need some volunteers.
Uh oh.
Damit dammit dammit.
This is the last time I ever listen to my brain.
Wait... He asked for volunteers. I'm safe.
Supervisor>> Nobody?
Supervisor>> That's okay.
Supervisor>> I have a list of multilingual employees.
Crap.
So, I'm stuck fielding calls from our European players.
Then I get my first call.
GM Call Description: On m'a volé ma monstre. J'ai vu ce qui est arrivé.
Yeah.
I'll get right on that.
Just as soon as I figure out what the hell you just said.
Babelfish to the rescue!
Apparently, that translates to
GM Call Description: Me was stolen my monster. I saw what arrived.
...
Okay...
Let me check Babelfish again.
Nope. No broken english to english translation.
I can figure this out. A monster was stolen and they saw what arrived.
...
I'm going to kill my brain with alcohol.
My liver will be acceptable collateral damage.
Oh, well. A monster got stolen. I can work from there.
[GM]Dave>> Hail, Adventurer.
[GM]Dave>> I understand someone stole your monster.
Player>> ...
Player>> Quoi?
Oh shit.
Back to Babelfish.
[GM]Dave>> I understand someone stole your monster.
Player>> Yes.
Player>> We camped Serra in Bay of Bibiki.
[GM]Dave>> Then what happened?
Player>> A part came near and stole our monster.
[GM]Dave>> How did they steal it?
Player>> They took it before we could.
[GM]Dave>> ...
[GM]Dave>> That's not stealing.
[GM]Dave>> That's just you getting owned.
Player>> What?
Player>> I don't understand.
Oh damn. What the hell did I just say?
Click on French to English...
It right obtaining to you is had.
...
I sound like I should be writing for Mysterytour.
Okay... I'm getting really sick of this.
[GM]Dave>> I'm sorry.
[GM]Dave>> I don't speak french.
Player>> (( Autotranslate )) ?
[GM]Dave>> (( I don't understand English. ))
[GM]Dave>> (( I don't understand Japanese. ))
[GM]Dave>> (( I speak a little. )) (( Chocobo ))
Player>> Quoi?
[GM]Dave>> Wark?
Player>> Tu es une imbecile.
Hey! I understand that last word.
Maybe I do know French.
Unfortunately, I must now destroy him.
[GM]Dave>> So...
[GM]Dave>> Do you understand any English?
Player>> A small bit.
[GM]Dave>> What's the word "dragon" in French?
Player>> Dragon.
Jormungand hits Player for 12,722 points of damage.
Player was defeated by Jormungand.
[GM]Dave>> What's the word "banned" in French?
[GM]Dave>> ...
[GM]Dave>> Hello?
[GM]Dave>> Are you there?
He kind of disappeared after that.
And just when I was starting to learn some important phrases.
posted by Goblin Smithy @ 12:06 PM
10 Comments:
Player>> Tu es une imbecile.
What?!? He said "Tu" instead of "Vous"?!? Adressing someone in that familiarized form in french to a stranger is extremely rude!
I hope there's still time to give him the deluxe package.
Same. Although, 'vous etes un imbecile' would sound strange: "You, sir, are an imbecile!".
As for speaking chocobo... Wark? Wark, wark WARK? Wark WARK wark? WARK!!!!!!!!!!
Oh geez... I never thought that taking high-school French would help me get more out of this blog.
XD
Another brilliant entry, and good luck killing your brain. I'd suggest setting the alcohol on fire and pouring it in your ear.
Concerning the "tu", many people on Internet use this form to talk, even when speaking to complete stranger. Although it's not recommanded to do it with people like GMs (especially GM[Dave]), it's not that uncommon.
And, hu, the player must not be French either. He twice used "une" instead of "un". "monstre" et "imbécile" are both masculine, so it should be "un monstre" and "un imbécile".
But anyway, I guess nobody cares :p Keep writing thoses great stories, Dave !
Click on French to English...
It right obtaining to you is had.
...
I sound like I should be writing for Mysterytour.
Hehehehe! I lost a few ounces of soda at that statment, and by "lost" I mean
"spit out if my mouth" Oh, man that was Great.
I'm mildy disturbed that [GM]Dave made an actual effort and went out of his way to accomadate a player.
Bablefishing and everything...
Funny, but very creepy...
Wark! ROTFLCOPTER! :)
Nice!!!!
Reeree indicates that that the use of the babelfish to obtain translations will obtain to you only in the trouble because the babelfish is run by miniatures with the cups of dixie attached by cord.
I do not think who am right. I think that they use fishing tackles.
Translated by Babelfish.
hey everyone, Im a canadian, living in Quebec (yes, to you americans that is what you would call 'French Canada') my father is decendant from brits and scots where as my mother is from french.. i have never spoken a single word of french until i was bout 8 or 9. and to this day, of almost to the age of 21 i STILL get my masculine and feminine wrong.. i always use un or une at the wrong times bcuz theres just WAY too many acceptions. and everytime i use vous to strangers sometimes they laugh and say please, just say tu or my name _____ so you see.. most of us english folk get corrected on being right in the first place and i guess thats what theyre teaching the kids of today.. -sighs- its really complicated.. so, stick with english is what i would say! [GM]Dave rules us all~ ^_^
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