Tuesday, August 22, 2006

A Shout Out

I'd just like to send a major shout out to the GMs over at Blizzard. I realize we play different games, but you guys are cool in my book.

As many of you may already know, the WoW GMs have started suspending people for making stupid forum posts, particularly those pertaining to the addition of new realms (ie. servers).

I applaud you.

Up to this point, I have been forced to limit my special brand of "customer service" to the game itself or mailing the occasional incendiary device. You guys have gone above and beyond, making players responsible for stupidity outside of the game.

That shit is brilliant.

I mean, it's not as direct as an explosive arriving via mail, but there's a certain finesse to it that I appreciate.

If WoW were not an immensely inferior product, I might even consider playing it.

Just kidding, guys.

I'd never play WoW.

Anyway, this new initiative inspired me to be more proactive in my efforts to stem the tide of idiocy that runs rampant through our (better) game. It's time for [GM]Dave to go out and find the unwashed and uneducated masses.

Up until now, I had always considered forums as being separate entities to the game. Finally, I see that they can be so much more.

Preemptive strike, bitches.

See, there's abeen a certain type of forum post that's always annoyed the hell out of me. I don't know what causes people to post such a retarded question, but it keeps coming up over and over and over again.

And over.

It's the "Why don't they make a server for _________ only?" where you fill in the blank with the group of your choosing.

Let's look at a few of these in detail, shall we?

Why don't they make a server for English people only?

Because we hate you.

Why don't they make a server for Japanese people only?

Well... Japanese people don't like you either and it makes them giggle when we treat you poorly.

Seriously, do you think we're made of servers? Those bastards are really freakin' expensive. We can't just go out and pick up a couple more at lunch just because you asked us to.

I can just imagine that now.

[GM]Dave>> Uh oh, sir.
[GM]Dave>> They're asking for another server?
Supervisor>> What for?
[GM]Dave>> They want a roleplaying-only server.

Supervisor>> It's a roleplaying game.
Supervisor>> They're all roleplaying servers.
[GM]Dave>> But, sir, you don't understand the gravity of the situation.
[GM]Dave>> They're making FORUM POSTS!
Supervisor>> Oh Christ.
Supervisor>> We'd better go to Best Buy right away.

I know, I know. It's just so hard for you to interact with people from groups outside your own.

Hell, you might even have to learn something about them.

Ugghh. It's unimaginable.

Today, inspired by my brothers and sisters over at WoW, I decided to take the first step. Why wait for them to make a GM call when you can take them by surprise?

Luckily, the first person to make yet another one of these moronic posts was kind enough to include his character information.

Fish... Check.

Barrel... Check.

Gun... Check.

[GM]Dave>> Hail, Adventurer.
[GM]Dave>> I understand you'd like to donate a server.
Player>> Wait...
Player>> Me?!
[GM]Dave>> Yes, you.
[GM]Dave>> We all just read your forum post about needing an English only server.
[GM]Dave>> I'm sure the rest of the community will thank you.
[GM]Dave>> Now, how would you like to pay for that server?
Player>> I didn't offer to buy a server.
Player>> I was saying we need it and that you guys should buy more
[GM]Dave>> ...
[GM]Dave>> What kind of sick joke is this?
[GM]Dave>> You dangle a new server in front of us and then yank it away?
[GM]Dave>> You disgust me.
Player>> I never said I'd pay for the server.
[GM]Dave>> Oh, so we're just supposed to give you a server?
[GM]Dave>> Out of the kindness of our hearts?
Player>> It would be better for everyone.
[GM]Dave>> No.
[GM]Dave>> It'd be better for you.
Player>> Come on.
Player>> Everyone would benefit from an English only server.
[GM]Dave>> Holy crap! You've convinced me!
[GM]Dave>> I cannot stand against such a logical argument.
Player>> You could at least try it out?
[GM]Dave>> What do you mean?
Player>> Take a small sampling of the FFXI population.
Player>> And give them an English only server.
[GM]Dave>> Hmmm...
[GM]Dave>> I suppose we could try that.

*warp*

Player>> ...
Player>> Where am I?
[GM]Dave>> I transferred you to a test server.
[GM]Dave>> Congratulations. You're a sample.
Player>> Oh.
Player>> When do the other people get here?
[GM]Dave>> ... Other people?

Seems the English only server idea didn't pan out.

At least... I don't think it did. I kind of just left him on it and went back to crafting.

I'll remember to go check on him later.

Or run a magnet over the server.

Whatever.

26 Comments:

At 8:39 PM, Blogger Goblin Butcher said...

I have a feeling this server was not an actual server, but jail.

 
At 9:00 PM, Blogger [GM]Dave said...

No, it was an actual test server we have. It's for running special events and playtesting new additions.

We don't really use Mordion Gaol on that server, though, so he should be there for the next three to four years.

 
At 9:32 PM, Blogger Ichiroson said...

[GM]Dave
your my hero, thas all there is to it

 
At 10:08 PM, Blogger Kerensky said...

First I would like to say I am happy that I didn’t read another “wow I made comment #1” cause that’s like reading I want to comment but am thought deprived.

idk, my personal opinion was and has been that it would be easier if more ppl were on a server not less.. Which I say knowing that efforts are made every year to do as such and to great measure accomplish this task.

ok ok too nice.. stupid = ban as ban = evolution of ffxi=gmdave=ffxi equivalent to god.

 
At 11:40 PM, Blogger Pascal said...

there are too much FFXI servers... c'mon, who needs 35 servers. just put everybody on one single giant server. I can donate you the hardware. I have here a 486 33mhhz with 32 MILIONS of bytes of RAM, only for you!

 
At 12:00 AM, Blogger Belsire said...

Am I one of the few that appreciates a bit of Diversity on the servers?

Honestly, I give Square-Enix a great deal of credit as to how they run the servers. By not having an "ass-load" of people on any one server you are virtually guaranteed to not have crashes like WoW does.

About the whole English-Only server deal... play during the day and evening you freaks so you don't deal with so many of the Japanese players.

Honestly.

 
At 1:37 AM, Blogger Knyte said...

Belsire said...
About the whole English-Only server deal... play during the day and evening you freaks so you don't deal with so many of the Japanese players.


well you can always try...i dont know...maybe...actually being a functioning, rational thinking, non-retarded homo sapian. i wont use human being, human being means you have evolved past the stupidity infection. and person? you show me someone who is an actual person in this world and i will show you Jesus Christ himself.

but alas, i fear i am asking to much of the inhabitants of this planet...im goin back to heavy drinking

 
At 2:01 AM, Blogger Useless said...

Do I hear the sound of a can of worms being opened?

 
At 2:55 AM, Blogger Keith said...

And by "running a magnet over the server", you mean "dragons"? I'd be sad if dragons wern't involved.

 
At 3:24 AM, Blogger Angelfire said...

*snicker* Oh yes... forums can be a cesspool of whinging for random things... .

Look at runescape, (yes I know, but i like that game) and brave their forums... you have people whining for things all day every day...

*dreams of a pre-emptive strike on those idiots*

 
At 4:08 AM, Blogger CaesarsGhost said...

Oh man I get that alot too... only instead of wanting a server that's only for X or Y, they just want a server.

Give me the hardware and pay for the bandwidth and I'd be glad to setup an unsupported server for you... what? You don't have tens of thousands of dollars? Then too fuckin bad.

 
At 5:34 AM, Blogger BuzZ said...

"Congratulations. You're a sample."


Quote of the year

 
At 6:52 AM, Blogger the illiterate said...

Player> You guys need a Tarantula only server.

 
At 7:16 AM, Blogger shingui of cerberus said...

"Let's look at a few of these in detail, shall we?

Why don't they make a server for English people only?

Because we hate you"

You hate us? no wonder we get no invites

 
At 10:08 AM, Blogger Scully said...

[GM]Dave... Love your blog, have been reading it for awhile, even though you're so completely prejudiced against WoW. =) I figure stupid people will continue to be stupid no matter what game they play... I just keep wishing you'd come work for Blizz for a bit...

Here's what I'm not getting though... WoW is not as good as FFXI, right? And yet we have Role Playing servers. Which enables us to group the emo bitches together and let them whine and play-act their dramatic little hearts out, while us regular people can game to our hearts' content without having people rant at us that we are, "OOC."

It's a lovely containment system, really.

Sign me,

Happy in Azeroth...
(I know, I'm alone in that here - I'm ok with it though...)

 
At 10:46 AM, Blogger dreamshade said...

And a lot of hardcore trolls love to go to those RPG servers and fuck up their precious balance.

When I need a laugh, I go read WoW General Discussion. The whining when they announced that there would be no more 40-man raids? Absolutely priceless.

 
At 2:53 PM, Blogger Furioku said...

Ahhh [gm] dave you are by far the greatest person i have ever known you bring happiness to a shitty day with you constant destroying of those emo bitches and dumbass morons if i were in you position i would do the same.I get tired of those stupid douchebags. Oh [GM] dave in my highschool they actually banned you!!! that is a travesty how is it even possible you are [gm] dave its not possible STRIKE BACK [gm] dave! well thats all i wanted to say Peace [GM]Dave keep up the good work.

 
At 4:23 PM, Blogger Noruta said...

He'll either quit the game early or become one hell of a solo player.

 
At 9:52 PM, Blogger PrincessChin said...

Wait wait, how about an 'emo' only server. Then once they all get there, they'd cut themselves. There'd be bleeding dark knights everywhere! Then maybe if we're lucky, you'd delete them all!

My dad wishes the grass was as emo as a dark knights soul, and would cut itself.

 
At 2:47 AM, Blogger Nyahnyah said...

This is funny because just a couple days ago I was speaking in my linkshell about having nation-based servers.

Sorry to disappoint but I'm all for it.

I mean, if diversity were such a large issue ... we could maybe ... ohhh, I don't know ... step outside someday? lol

I can't speak for any other servers but I play on two and one thing common on both of them are: the NA players seem to be more open-minded and willing to accept anyone (and weirdly, few pretend to be JP players o.O )

The JP players will often isolate themselves from everyone else buyt the other JP players.

And the EU players are in their little corner as well.

A few years ago SE released a statement regarding RMT saying they couldn't take any legal action against some of the criminals (yes, I called RMT criminals; that's what they are lol) because many copyright laws are not / can not be honored by other countries.

Seperate servers leads to regional staff which invokes regional laws. 2+2 ya know.

 
At 2:44 AM, Blogger notkesirahonest said...

Hem an English only server... can't imagine there would be many on it, there can only be a few thousands or so English people playing FFXI across all the servers.

Or did you mean English SPEAKING. English tend to be from England. English Speaking from all around the world....


Sorry, but by that blanket statement I would be the same as an American and i'd rather shoot myself in teh head than that. Infact no, i'll do all Europeans a favour and just shoot them in the head instead.

 
At 4:15 AM, Blogger Steve the Pirate said...

Infact no, i'll do all Europeans a favour and just shoot them in the head instead.

Hur hur hur hur hur hur hur, I so smart, I say I shoot Americans, hur hur hur hur hur.

There's one little thing I forgot to tell you: you see, Americans can legally own firearms. A majority of the American population owns at least one rifle, handgun, or shotgun. So, whenever you decide to hop over the pond for a little target practice, just remember that the targets will be shooting back.

 
At 1:34 PM, Blogger Pen said...

omg, I think I just wet myself from laughing so hard

thanks for your unique truthful brand of humor. I wish I could get away with half of what I read here

keep it up

 
At 11:16 PM, Blogger Alexandrious said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

 
At 11:19 PM, Blogger Alexandrious said...

Sorry to say but ill tell you all why people want US Only/EU Only based servers or what not. After playing thru FFXI Twice *Started and got to high end in release, and started over again on another server, got to high end, saw the state of raiding then dropped it* I clearly seen why people request for these kinda servers.

Its because the Japanese players are too damn hardcore. Not hardcore as in skill, just hardcore cuz they can stay up 18-20 hours a day, and go day by day with just 3-5 hours of sleep, or they take shifts, yes actual shifts, to keep a Alliance force on 24/7 to camp out hnms and bosses, or other rare spawns keeping them from US players and what not.

Not only that, but theirs a 3-5 second latency on the Mobs/Kings spawns for anyone not living in Japan. For the Japanese players though they appear the instant their timed to appear, and then their Bot programs, yes, they use Bot/Macro programs, snatch the mob immediately, beating the bot programs american players use every time.

I severely dont support the use of these third party programs, I wish I can blow them all to hell, but they exist, and SE has done absolutely nothing about them. Theirs been plenty of evidence of their use, yet their was no investigation, one such evidence is that JP players on most servers, never ever get the Kings spawn so long as its the normal spawn, but when the king spawns, they "Magically" always get it.

You can argue this all you want, ive seen it done with my own eyes in two different servers, and heard forum posts and banter bout the same thing happening on 7 other servers before I quitted ffxi for good. I will NOT play a game that forces you to be as super hardcore as certain other players just to be able to advance your character and get the gear you always wanted. It took this one paladin I knew whom was the leader of his own uber LS an entire YEAR to get the Koenig BP. All because the JP guilds whos paladins all had the friggen bp, kept taking the kings out of spite, outfitting their members 5th or 6th lv 75th job in Kings Gear.

I left before the third expansion, I have no clue what that expansion offers to the item table now, but this is the main reason why people want an English only server. Cuz 7/10 if a English Based LS got everything they want from a certain mob and they keep their membership contained to 40 people or less, they will move off from the boss mob and let other ls's have their share on it.

Not japanese players though, they will take em, using their advantage of the latency and bot programs, and make themselves hated and not give a damn. Ill tell you this though GM Dave, I and bout 30 or so others I known since I quitted FFXI would all Renew our subscriptions if their was a English only server or two freshly released, and I bet SE would get a thousand or so new/renewed subscriptions if they released said servers.

Deny it all you want, but its friggen truth, youd have to either be an idiot, or not played endgame period on ffxi to not see this truth. Nuff said good day to you sir.

 
At 11:29 PM, Blogger Alexandrious said...

Before ya spew anything else, this game is apart of SEs business, and im sure if putting in 1 or 2 english only servers, NO TRANSFERs, for their online product, they would make more then enough money to cover the server costs and maintenance, hell the costs would be little compared to how much they would get each month, get more subs, alot more subs, and in the end, all it matters is what makes the most money.

SE made their share of big mistakes before, not releasing English based servers after so many people complain, send feeback bout it, and post for em, is a really, really, stupid mistake.

 

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