Monday, August 21, 2006

Calm The Hell Down

Attention: Today's update relates to the newly implemented chocobo raising. If you are acting like a normal person, who simply wants to own a chocobo, this does not apply to you.

If, however, you have gone choco-tarded and have placed a GM call tonight, do me a favor and eat your keyboard. You are obviously too retarded to be on the internet.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

This is going to be a very short announcement as I am on the verge of a major killing spree.


They've been in the game for years.



Oh, but now they come in cool new colors. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.

But why stop there?

Why not talking chocobos? Or flying chocobos? Or attack chocobos?

Why even have chocobos at all?

Let's get some Mechs in here with removeable armor and special accessories.

If we work really damned hard, we can turn this into a bad anime cliche in no time.

I know what you're saying.

You >> But [GM]Dave, I can raise my very own chocobo.
You>> That's so awesome.

Congratulations. You're taking time away from battling monsters to raise a Tamagotchi.

Seriously. I weep for society.

I swear to God himself, the next call I get about chocobos and I'm going out to buy an assault rifle.

I hate you people.


At 8:18 PM, Blogger Meshuggah said...

Aww, I was hoping for an amusing converstion with a choco-tard. Oh well

At 8:22 PM, Blogger azuza001 said...

I agree with you 100% on this one. It's a giant chicken. If people really want their own colored chicken then it would be easier on the worlds if they just changed the tint on their monitor. I sure as heck don't plan on going threw all that work/mess to get something that I already have for a few gil, I'm too busy crafting.

At 8:37 PM, Blogger WanderingJ said...

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At 8:37 PM, Blogger WanderingJ said...


At 8:38 PM, Blogger WanderingJ said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 8:51 PM, Blogger azza said...

*me goes to shop buys ffxi and places an immediate GM call about chocobos.

*me reads about the shooting spree in a gaming complex the next day


At 9:22 PM, Blogger Reinheart said...

Dude [GM]Dave this is soo true. I actually had to yell at some retards in Aht Urhgan Whitegate to shut the fuck up because they were shouting "do u kno hw i get teh blac chickens? lolololol"

At 1:49 AM, Blogger Ryuusuke said...

yeah i dont plan on raising anything screw that.

At 2:37 AM, Blogger Sutaru said...

Damn. It's deja vu.

At 3:17 AM, Blogger Citizen Bleys said...

Rumor has it that it takes a full month to raise a chocobo anyways. I anticipate that 85% or more of the people who rushed right out to start as soon as the patch completed will have suffered a cardiac infarction ere said time expires.

At 4:02 AM, Blogger Artos said...

I pay 185g for a chocobo once every three days or so.

Damn the chickens. Let someone else clean up their crap.

At 5:33 AM, Blogger Jormy's favorite food said...

"Congratulations. You're taking time away from battling monsters to raise a Tamagotchi."

Congratulations, we're all playing a game that has no real ending. Yay~... Come on Dave, I can understand how you may get upset about n00bs, but that kind of comment is pushing even your limits

At 5:44 AM, Blogger Ristle said...

I want a mech :O


At 8:55 AM, Blogger Jota Be said...

Multiple coloured chocobos (with different abilities) have been part of the FF universe since FF4 (btw, crafting has never been)... it's bad that people get overexcited, but it's understandable. Because it is a feature that should have had from the beginning.

I am the first to be baffled to find the chocobo stables filled with PCs, when i just wanted to get a chocobo to go to Windurst. And i won't raise mine till the whole thing has cooled down. But really, there are enough things that are annoying to focus into this one. And GMs should be psychologically ready for this ^_-

At 9:42 AM, Blogger WHM of Death said...

I agree with [GM]Dave...if I hear one more person scream about how long or difficult Choco-Raising is I will go Postal!. Go get 'em [GM]Dave!!

At 9:44 AM, Blogger Chrys said...

Jebus. I hear you.

I quit FFXI earlier this year because the amount of idiocy was more than my brain could manage (when you're asked to tank as a 39 Bard, you lose all hope). My male counterpart still has his account, although he hasn't played in months.

He read up on the chocobo racing and was totally doing the, "That's SO COOL! ZOMFG!" and it was all I could do not to strangle him. He tried to show me screen shots of the giant chickens, to which I calmly replied that if he wants his standard items to be unimportantly recolored, playing The Sims 2 would be more his speed.

He wasn't happy with me.

I'd offer my sympathy, but I think that in your job, you need more artillery and less emotion. Need an assistant?

At 2:06 PM, Blogger Esined said...

I logged in after the patch and saw ls msg say {chocobo raising} Yay!

I then preceded to shutdown the game. I haven't been back on yet.. and I swear I will throw my damn sac if I hear another convo on those stupid birds.. (I love my ls btw and usually on everyday)

I did join ONE convo on the color bit as a joke but ls members would not shut up about it @.@

I dont think Ill be doing anything on that stuff till waaaaay later. It like those new jobs.. I was soo sick of it at then end I had REFUSED to even open those damn jobs and haven't yet..

At 2:06 PM, Blogger Yo Alejandro said...

Actually, I think that crafting did exist before, only it was called synthesis....I remember from FFIX

At 3:38 PM, Blogger Idalia said...

zomg choco raising, it pwns!



At 4:05 PM, Blogger Jota Be said...

One game doesn't create a tradition ^_-

At 5:24 PM, Blogger creature124 said...

Meh. for all the PC users out there, it has always been possible to change choco colors by messing with the .dats, so why the fuss now eh? im not doing it for the color, im doing it for the speed. The rentals go tooooo slooooow

At 6:33 PM, Blogger Zanbatou-sama said...

"I hate you people."

Aw, but we love you Uncle Dave. Well, at some of the yes-men people you've gathered do.


At 6:46 PM, Blogger Kittos said...

T_T aww but i likes the cheekans
-_- lol but i don't wanna raise them..

At 7:19 PM, Blogger OC said...

I have to disagree and agree, the amount of "energy" coming from people is a little over board, but raising a chocobo is rather fun(or will be) but making a GM call unless something was wrong, deserves a Dragon eating.

Though I wait for the newest post about a choco-tard asking why his egg hasn't hatched in one day.

At 9:40 PM, Blogger Kerensky said...

I thought that had to do with getting the stupid out of the play zone's just like gardening and other crafting... keeps plays space free for other ppl, ppl who want it more.

At 9:59 PM, Blogger Cruven said...

i don't plan on raising a chocobo. Oh look you can call a choc. from anywhere almost...big whoop. I still prefer walking and taking an airship when i wanna get somewhere...I will use the bird when i have to. Id rather rent one then raise my own (yes ive been called extremely retarded but i simply don't care)

At 3:04 PM, Blogger Lord Foxfire said...

Here's a thought, set Jormy to spawn whenever someone selects to breed the damned chickens.


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