Monday, July 31, 2006

I Hate The Jungle

Today will be the last post in this special look back at how I started out. It's been fun to look back.

Except replace "It's been fun to look back" with "It reminds me what a terrible n00b I was."

To close out the week, I decided to tell you about my first day in the Jungles.

Yes, those jungles.

And yes, there may be a Goblin involved.

I managed to solo the rest (read: all) of the Kazham keys and had procured my airship pass.

Even the uneducated masses of Vana'diel cannot stop me.

Hopping on the airship for the first time was awesome. Watching it take off and then hearing the music... It was sweet.

And then someone fell off the airship.

The awesomeness then gave way to me freaking the hell out.

Dave>> HOLY SHIT!!!
Dave>> Someone just fell off!!!
RandomPassenger>> Yeah.
RandomPassenger>> Happens all the time.
Dave>> He's going to land in CounterStrike!
RandomPassenger>> It's cool.
RandomPassenger>> It's a glitch.
RandomPassenger>> Watch.

So, the guy walks up to the rail and then suddenly hops up and over the edge.

I swore to God that if he said "There is no spoon", I was going to log off and uninstall the game.

But he was cool, though. He tried to show me how to do it.

Tried being the operative word.

RandomPassenger>> Just walk toward that board.
Dave>> Which board?
RandomPassenger>> That one.
Dave>> Got it.
Dave>> Here I go.

And I spent the next five minutes running toward the rail looking like a retard.

Yay me.

We landed in Kazham and right away I was struck by the exotic beauty of the town.

I was also struck by the huge number of people all looking for a party.

But having no other choice, I added my name to their ranks and raised my invite flag hoping to get a party.

Maybe it won't take that long...

An hour and a half later, I finally got an invite.

I zone into Yuhtunga Jungle and find my group just outside the zoneline. Good location.


We tear through a few Mandragoras and the exp is flowing.

Things were just starting to look up.

That's when some absolute moron aggros a Goblin Smithy and drags it back to the zoneline.

He didn't even have the decency to just stand there and die so complete strangers wouldn't be slightly inconvenienced.

Some people.

Now, some of you newer players are wondering why this was a big deal.

You young'uns. Back in my day, we didn't have any fancy MPK patch that made monsters disappear. No, sir.

If someone aggroed a Goblin and dragged it to the zoneline, he'd just wander around and look for someone else to murder.

You kids these days.

Anyway, now we had a Smithy hanging around the zoneline making it impossible to party.

He'd wander away, right?

Of course not. Every time he started to walk away, another moron would run up, catch aggro, and drag him right back to the zoneline.

There was no way we could get back to the Mandragoras until the Goblin was taken care of.

That's when I had a brilliant idea. A glorious, marvelous, incredibly idea.

Dave>> Everybody!
Dave>> If we all team up, we can take him!
Player1>> That might work.
Player2>> We'd all have to help.
Player1>> Yeah, but it'd save us a lot of time.
Dave>> All right!
Dave>> Let's do this!

That's when I cried "Havoc" and let slip the dogs of war.

Okay... I /shouted "Suck on this" and hit the Smithy with my sword.

Then I Called For Help and just waited for my fellow adventurers to join in.

And waited.

And waited.

Dave>> Starting to get hurt, guys.
Dave>> We may want to get going on this.

And waited.

And died.

Dave>> ...
Dave>> I hate all of you.

This is when I learned one of the most important, most fundamental rules of MMORPGs and life in general...

People suck.


At 1:45 PM, Blogger Nayathril said...

Yeah. I remeber my first days In Yuhtunga. -.- Horrible. Goblin smithies. :( And the Non-Exsistant MPK Patch. *sigh*

Sorry No one helped you out dave ; ;

At 2:05 PM, Blogger Nightwing said...

I can only wonder, could it have been THE goblin smithy? And its a shame this is the last of your past reflections. I was enjoying them. Oh well, maybe you will start writing about how much you love to kill Gilsellers again. Either way, keep it up!

At 2:42 PM, Blogger Crixa said...

You know, I rather prefered the days Pre-mpk patch. As long as you're out of the way, watching all the poor little nooblets die was actually rather entertaining.

At 3:30 PM, Blogger Artos said...

I don't think that a competent party can be formed in FFXI.

Even in a merit party, there will be the member who still likes to eat paste.

At 3:36 PM, Blogger Reeree said...

Your party let you die. I hope the Smithy killed them next.

At 3:45 PM, Blogger Kerensky said...

when I first got to lv 60 I went back and spent hrs caping my skill just killing pulls that ended up there.. it was fun.. no of this girly mpk patch.. I also think that links kept the area clear from over camp'n

also.. it is a pitty this is the last reflection.. I was hoping to hear about crawlers nest or maby "the tower".. or the best mpk spot of all for bats "the citadel"

oh well.. ;; call for helps are alot of fun with low lv mobs..

/ja "elemental seal"
/wait 6
/ma "thunder III" (t)

At 7:04 PM, Blogger Tarage said...

I used to party trying to level my White Mage, and when a goblin would come and start attacking all of us, I would switch to my Summoner and start whomping on whatever I felt like screaming that I was the god of Avatars.

Yeah... most of the time, before I could zone back out it would begone, but it didn't stop me from trying.

I think newbies these days are missing a vital part of the FFXI game experence. Without random high level mobs trolling the zones, they learn to feel safe. And as we all know, feeling safe in this game means in 5 seconds you are going to die.

At 8:04 PM, Blogger okccameron said...

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me.

At 10:57 PM, Blogger nano said...

oh well.. ;; call for helps are alot of fun with low lv mobs..

/ja "elemental seal"
/wait 6
/ma "thunder III" (t)

Yep, by the time you've finished casting that, the mob should have finished off at least half the players. I'd go with a slightly longer wait, myself. Possibly AM.

At 12:11 AM, Blogger WindowOfTheSoul said...

Ahh... Those were the days, eh Dave? I gotta say, I miss dying like a n00b....


But, you're a GM now! Who cares what happened way-back-when?

Alot of people, apparantly... Do you like, have a ticker or something for this blog? Because enough people read this thing for you to be relatively wealthy.

... Back on track...


At 3:22 AM, Blogger Citizen Bleys said...

It wasn't just n00bs. Back in the pre-patch days I saw level 75s hit a smithy with Dia and zone. You'd see them in Kazham laughing uncontrollably.

At 4:21 AM, Blogger Venomvi said...

Once a friend and I trained a marlboro to the entrance of Yhoator. Noone knew wtf it was besides us, and it was entertainment when they all tried to CFH on it and it still killed them. Good times.

At 9:10 AM, Blogger BuzZ said...

Landed in CounterStrike

At 1:53 PM, Blogger Shiphrah said...

Malboro! Say it with me, people!




Not Marlboro. Malboro. It is NOT a pack of ciggies, folks! Learn to fucking read!

Gahhhh, this is one thing that kills me about people who are fans of all FFs. And life in general. People need to learn some English skills, and they need to learn to READ!!! Oh, the humanity... I'm getting pissed off just thinking of all the terrible displays of English grammar I've come across in FFXI.

At 4:01 AM, Blogger NightbirdX said...

I swore to God that if he said "There is no spoon", I was going to log off and uninstall the game.

Lol, man I about pissed myself when I read this... You are brilliant.


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