I Hate The JungleToday will be the last post in this special look back at how I started out. It's been fun to look back.
Except replace "It's been fun to look back" with "It reminds me what a terrible n00b I was."
To close out the week, I decided to tell you about my first day in the Jungles.
Yes, those jungles.
And yes, there may be a Goblin involved.
I managed to solo the rest (read: all) of the Kazham keys and had procured my airship pass.
Even the uneducated masses of Vana'diel cannot stop me.
Hopping on the airship for the first time was awesome. Watching it take off and then hearing the music... It was sweet.
And then someone fell off the airship.
The awesomeness then gave way to me freaking the hell out.
Dave>> HOLY SHIT!!!
Dave>> Someone just fell off!!!
RandomPassenger>> Happens all the time.
Dave>> HE FELL OFF THE SERVER!
Dave>> He's going to land in CounterStrike!
RandomPassenger>> It's cool.
RandomPassenger>> It's a glitch.
So, the guy walks up to the rail and then suddenly hops up and over the edge.
I swore to God that if he said "There is no spoon", I was going to log off and uninstall the game.
But he was cool, though. He tried to show me how to do it.
Tried being the operative word.
RandomPassenger>> Just walk toward that board.
Dave>> Which board?
RandomPassenger>> That one.
Dave>> Got it.
Dave>> Here I go.
And I spent the next five minutes running toward the rail looking like a retard.
We landed in Kazham and right away I was struck by the exotic beauty of the town.
I was also struck by the huge number of people all looking for a party.
But having no other choice, I added my name to their ranks and raised my invite flag hoping to get a party.
Maybe it won't take that long...
An hour and a half later, I finally got an invite.
I zone into Yuhtunga Jungle and find my group just outside the zoneline. Good location.
We tear through a few Mandragoras and the exp is flowing.
Things were just starting to look up.
That's when some absolute moron aggros a Goblin Smithy and drags it back to the zoneline.
He didn't even have the decency to just stand there and die so complete strangers wouldn't be slightly inconvenienced.
Now, some of you newer players are wondering why this was a big deal.
You young'uns. Back in my day, we didn't have any fancy MPK patch that made monsters disappear. No, sir.
If someone aggroed a Goblin and dragged it to the zoneline, he'd just wander around and look for someone else to murder.
You kids these days.
Anyway, now we had a Smithy hanging around the zoneline making it impossible to party.
He'd wander away, right?
Of course not. Every time he started to walk away, another moron would run up, catch aggro, and drag him right back to the zoneline.
There was no way we could get back to the Mandragoras until the Goblin was taken care of.
That's when I had a brilliant idea. A glorious, marvelous, incredibly idea.
Dave>> If we all team up, we can take him!
Player1>> That might work.
Player2>> We'd all have to help.
Player1>> Yeah, but it'd save us a lot of time.
Dave>> All right!
Dave>> Let's do this!
That's when I cried "Havoc" and let slip the dogs of war.
Okay... I /shouted "Suck on this" and hit the Smithy with my sword.
Then I Called For Help and just waited for my fellow adventurers to join in.
Dave>> Starting to get hurt, guys.
Dave>> We may want to get going on this.
Dave>> I hate all of you.
This is when I learned one of the most important, most fundamental rules of MMORPGs and life in general...