HNMLS Vs Jormungand
It was bound to happen eventually.This morning, I was working an early shift when I received a GM call from Behemoth's Dominion.
Gee, I wonder what this call could be about.
Could someone be stuck?
Maybe there is a glitch they'd like to report.
GM Call Description: Other LS is attempting to steal King Behemoth. Help.
Wow. HNMLS drama.
I'm shocked.
Anyway, once the initial surprise wore off, I logged in and teleported to their location.
[GM]Dave>> Hail, Adventurer.
[GM]Dave>> What the problem is?
Player>> That other HNMLS is trying to steal our claim.
[GM]Dave>> And why would they do that?
Player>> They say we can't beat him.
[GM]Dave>> Well... how much have you taken his HP down?
Player>> He's at 94%.
[GM]Dave>> My, that is a very accurate estimate.
[GM]Dave>> One might think you can see monster's HPs.
Player>> ... Yeah.
Player>> I guessed.
[GM]Dave>> Sure you did.
[GM]Dave>> Okay, he's at 94%.
[GM]Dave>> How long have you been fighting?
Player>> It's been about two hours now.
[GM]Dave>> ...
[GM]Dave>> Are you kidding?
Player>> No.
Player>> A little over two hours, I think.
[GM]Dave>> That's pathetic.
[GM]Dave>> At this rate, you'll be done by October.
Player>> We're handling it.
[GM]Dave>> What the hell is taking so long?
[GM]Dave>> Are you hoping he'll die from old age?
Player>> Hey, that's not fair.
Player>> We're doing our best.
[GM]Dave>> That's good.
[GM]Dave>> Never give up.
Player>> Thank you.
[GM]Dave>> Unless you really suck.
[GM]Dave>> And then you should totally give up.
Player>> Listen.
Player>> We claimed fair and square.
[GM]Dave>> Puns are not funny.
Player>> He's our King Behemoth and they're trying to steal it.
Player>> So, are you going to do something or not?
[GM]Dave>> I guess I will.
*warpaga*
[GM]Dave>> Everyone!
[GM]Dave>> Welcome to Mordion Gaol.
Stealer1>> What the hell?!
Stealer2>> What's going on?!
Stealer1>> We didn't do anything!
[GM]Dave>> You're here for attempting to steal claim.
[GM]Dave>> Are there any more questions?
Player1>> Uhh... Yeah.
Player1>> Why is our LS here?
[GM]Dave>> You have been accused of sucking.
Player1>> Accused?
Player1>> By who?
[GM]Dave>> Did I say "accused"?
[GM]Dave>> Silly me.
[GM]Dave>> I meant "found guilty".
Player2>> That's so not true.
Player2>> We don't suck.
Stealer1>> Actually... You really do.
Stealer3>> I have to agree.
[GM]Dave>> See?
[GM]Dave>> The asshats agree with me.
Stealer3>> Wait... Did you just call us asshats?
[GM]Dave>> Did I say "asshats"?
[GM]Dave>> Silly me.
[GM]Dave>> I meant "asshats".
Stealer1>> That's the same thing.
[GM]Dave>> You're quick.
[GM]Dave>> You must be the mastermind.
Player1>> You can't do this.
Player3>> LET US OUT!
[GM]Dave>> We have to have a fair trial first.
Player1>> A fair trial?
[GM]Dave>> Mostly fair.
[GM]Dave>> More or less fair.
[GM]Dave>> Yeah... Not so much with the fair.
[GM]Dave>> Can I interest you in a lynching?
Player2>> I want to file a complaint.
Player1>> Yeah. Me, too.
Stealer2>> Me, too.
It's like shooting fish in a barrel.
With a bazooka.
[GM]Dave>> Would you like me to direct you to our complaints manager?
*GLEE*
Player1>> Yes. Right away.
Stealer2>> You're so dead.
Jormungand hits Stealer2 for 14,893 points of damage.
Stealer2 was defeated by Jormungand.
[GM]Dave>> I love irony.
[GM]Dave>> Who's next?
The panic rippled their their masses and people tried to run.
Silly, silly people.
But then something odd happened.
Player1>> GUYS!
Player1>> We can take him if we work together!
Stealer1>> You're right.
Stealer1>> Ninjas to the front!
They actually banded together to fight MY Jormy.
MY Jormy.
Apparently, being sent to prison has caused them to have some sort of psychological break.
They are obviously insane.
Unfortunately, they seemed to be doing a rather good job of holding Jormy off. The Ninjas were working together to bounce hate around and their Black Mages were doing some good damage.
Most importantly, none of them were dying.
Player1>> We're doing it!
Player1>> KEEP GOING!
Jormy's HP began to drop.
And drop.
And drop.
Things looked bad for our heroes. Jormy only had a sliver of life left and I was grossly outnumbered.
OH NOEZ!
[GM]Dave>> Silly, silly people.
[GM]Dave uses Pet Food Omega on Jormungand.
Stealer3>> What the hell is Pet Food Omega?!
Player2>> OH SHIT!
Player2>> HE'S COMPLETELY HEALED!
Stealer1>> Calm down.
Player1>> Yeah.
Player1>> We can just take him down again.
[GM]Dave uses Call Wyvern.
Player1>> HAHAHA!!!
Player1>> He's a DRAGOON!
Stealer2>> Oh no, he called his little blue wyvern.
Stealer2>> I'm real scared now.
[GM]Dave>> Not exactly.
And that's when Vtra, Guivre, Vouivre, Seiryu, and Bune spawned right behind them.
[GM]Dave>> Are you scared now?
Oh, it was chaos after that. Morons running in every direction, OMGs and WTFs flying to and fro.
The bodies piled up fast.
Very, very fast.
[GM]Dave>> That's what you get for picking on a poor, defenseless dragon.
posted by Goblin Smithy @ 7:35 AM
15 Comments:
I've heard many tales of Dragoons .dat-swapping their wyverns for Great Wyrms.
I guess GMs get to do it for real.
Good laugh, good laugh.
Screw Spirit Surge, I want Call Wyrm as my two hour!!
Hehehe, I always knew that DRG/BST could be fun to some extent...
...though now I see that extent is limited to when you have [GM] preceding your name.
i think you should have gotten in there yourself and personnaly beat them down. gd laugh though
Idiot beatdown. The very best kind of beatdown.
Poor Jormy :(
You of wiped their accounts for doing such horrible things to him!
It's a lot more fun when the dragon is down to 1% and THEN heals to full. oh ho ho ho ho...
classic lol
I learned from Baron Harkonnen that you should always have plans-within-plans-within-plans.
GMs must learn this quick... good thing players can only do so much. :P
I /bow before you [GM]Dave
Greetings, oh highly-esteemed [GM]Dave. I made my blogger account today, because I just had to comment on this awesomely humorous entry.
I have to say that the victims attacking the punisher was completely unexpected, but your counterattack was second only to your "MrWyvern" strategy.
Well played, my good man, and you shall expect more comments from me in the future...
OMG, I've been reading your blog for quite a while, but this just deemed me registering to finally post something. It was simply awesome.
{/bow} Glad to see you are back to your original torture-schemes. Sure, the trip to the past was fun, but this was just priceless.
YOU ROCK! Noone messes with your dragon!
I kinda feel sorry for them, I mean 2 hrs, and the others, if you can steal something from some one it's probly their fault.
oh well at least they learned teamwork can work as long as the odds are even.
I have still never seen a gm, not that I wish too, it is just a thing I have not seen before. same thing goes for hnm's also avoided.
I would like to interject that it would be sweet if pets of all sorts had better code to their responsivity, and a lil more common sense.
OMG there are a ton of people who have been reading this blog that are just now signing up just to comment on this one. This one made me laugh almost as hard as when i first read this blog and it was about that Crab NM that you took control of. This is goign to be one on the [GM]Dave best hits page. You may have to do that some day.
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