Monday, July 24, 2006

So How Was Your Day?

Good evening all of you FFXI players.

Have a good day?

No?

I wonder why...

Oh...

Wait...

We had maintenance today.

I don't know about you, but damn I had a good day.

The whole thing took us about twenty minutes. Twenty grueling minutes of software install.

I'm still a little tired from all of that work.

Unfortunately, that only left us with a little less than four hours to goof off and drink.

We invented a new game to pass the time. We call it "Forum Shots."

We got all of the GMs together and opened an FFXI forum. Everytime someone made a post about the update, we did a shot.

For a thread complaining about maintenance, we had to do two shots.

Then everytime someone posted a "what to do during maintenance" thread, we did five shots.

Now, think about that.

People actually have to put time and effort into figuring out what to do for FOUR HOURS.

This isn't an iron lung, people. You can actually disconnect and not die.

What did people do before FFXI?

Don't say Everquest.

Back on topic.

The drinking started to get a little heavy. We were surfing some of the medium-size forums.

It wasn't that bad, but you could tell people were starting to lose it.

Then someone opened Allakhazam.

Oh, the humanity.

You literally couldn't get the drinks down fast enough. You'd be hammering down a shot and then five more update threads would pop up.

I think one guy actually drowned to death.

It actually got so bad we had to extend the maintenance time by three extra hours just to recover.

Well... recover and dispose of the body.

By the time the servers actually came back up, I think it would be fair to say I was slightly inebriated.

Perhaps even intoxicated.

Maybe... Just maybe... Drunk off my ass.

I spent four and a half minutes wondering why a player wouldn't respond to my tells before I realized I was typing into the MS-DOS command prompt.

I just thought that c:/> guy was quiet.

Once I actually managed to log in and access the GM call queue, things got a little bit crazy.

I don't think I was even forming complete sentences.

This is an actual GM call and my response.

GM Call Description: Warp Taru glitch. Please help.

A pretty standard issue.

So, did I just log in and resolve the problem?

[GM]Dave>> Hail, Avdenture
[GM]Dave>> what da ???? do you want?

Short answer: no.

Player>> I finally got back in and the warp taru is glitching.
Player>> Is this an update issue?
[GM]Dave>> You know what I hate?
[GM]Dave>> Players.
[GM]Dave>> Players suck.
Player>> Uhh... okay...
[GM]Dave>> All you people do is bitch and whine.
[GM]Dave>> what about my needs?
Player>> I have no idea what you're talking about.
[GM]Dave>> OH! Now, you asked for it!

*warp*

Player>> What are you doing?
[GM]Dave>> Say hello to a dragon.
[GM]Dave>> TP: 100% (( Ready to start skillchain! ))
[GM]Dave>> Damn macros.
Player>> ...
[GM]Dave>> Gimme a sec.
[GM]Dave starts casting haste on Player.
[GM]Dave>> DAMMIT!
Player>> Can I go, please?
[GM]Dave>> No use beggin now.
[GM]Dave>>
TP: 100% (( Ready to start skillchain! ))
[GM]Dave>> I think my fingers are drunk.
Player>> Listen...
Player>> The warp taru isn't that bad.
Player>> Can I go?

It took me fourteen minutes to find the right command.

Unfortunately, the player disconnected long before that.

Now, take that call and replay it forty times. That's been my evening so far.

Someone remind me to wipe the logs when I sober up, please.

7 Comments:

At 7:59 PM, Blogger AurtherX said...

Dave....wipe the logs.

and....send Susan to my house for a nice cup of hot Tea and some nice converstaion with a LIVE person.

 
At 10:13 PM, Blogger Dyamalos said...

Good thing Dave was drunk, or he might have found something legit to ban the guy on...

 
At 11:51 PM, Blogger Kerensky said...

Don't forget to get some everclear.. I mean wipe the logs.

It never hapend..

 
At 5:37 AM, Blogger Bellemithra said...

"I just thought that c:/> guy was quiet."


Oh my!!! Why is it I am always taking a sip of my morning coffee when I read your blog??? Damn you, now I have to go find paper towels to wipe the coffee off the moniter!

 
At 1:44 PM, Blogger Dyamalos said...

I knew it was the windower the whole time, and it's not DCs it's crashing. Kind of obvious when your standing around the warp taru or the singnet and see like 10-20 different people DCing

 
At 1:48 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

"Hollister160 said...
Lol if thats how u act when you have had a few beers..."

Shots are not 'beer' they are commonly tequila, Vodka, Whisky or Rum.

to steal from MP:American beer is like making love in a canoe... Its f*****g close to water!!

 
At 2:11 PM, Blogger Reeree said...

Crack open the server cases and scrub the logs with Brillo to the hard drive - it's the only way to be sure.

 

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