Putting the Fun In Funeral
We got some kind of bad news a couple of days ago.It seems Susan's grandmother passed away.
I say kind of bad because no one really liked her.
Still, Susan was a little broken up by the news, so we got our things together and went out to her parents house for the funeral.
I was going to stay home, but I could tell that she would really need me to comfort her.
Also, I found out the wake was going to be open bar.
So, we were at the wake talking to Susan's family when she noticed that her little cousin Billy was standing in the corner looking sad.
Susan>> Dave, why don't you go talk to him?
[GM]Dave>> Well... I don't like people.
[GM]Dave>> And I'm no science teacher...
[GM]Dave>> But he seems like a people.
Susan>> Honey...
Susan>> Don't make me hurt you.
[GM]Dave>> You don't scare me.
Susan>> Two words: Lorena Bobbitt.
[GM]Dave>> So, I'll just go talk to the kid.
Susan>> Thank you, dear.
I walk over to the kid and right away I can tell he doesn't want to talk to me.
Honestly, I can't blame him. I was up until 2 am on a Dynamis run and I've been drinking heavily.
Mr. Rogers I'm not.
Still, since I enjoy having my genitals still attached to my body, I soldier on and start a conversation.
[GM]Dave>> Why are you so sad?
[GM]Dave>> Who died?
Yeah.
Apparently, he wasn't in the laughing mood.
[GM]Dave>> What's the difference between your grandmother and a seed?
He looked at me for a second, a little glimmer of hope in his eyes.
Perhaps I knew something that would put this all in perspective.
Billy>> I don't know. What?
[GM]Dave>> About 12 hours.
Billy burst into tears and took off running.
Damned emotional eight year olds.
On the positive side, I got him out of the corner.
Susan>> What happened?
[GM]Dave>> I'm not sure.
Susan>> What did you say?
[GM]Dave>> Nothing.
[GM]Dave>> I asked if he liked gardening.
Susan>> That's it?
[GM]Dave>> That may not have been my exact words.
Susan>> Huh...
Susan>> That's weird.
[GM]Dave>> You know kids.
Fast forward to the funeral.
We're standing around after they just put her Grandmother in the ground and I notice Billy off by himself again.
Should I leave him alone in his grief or go talk to him again?
I'm starting to think I may be pure evil.
[GM]Dave>> What's the difference between your grandmother and a seed?
He wasn't quite sure what to say.
Billy>> ...
Billy>> I don't know. What?
[GM]Dave>> About five and a half feet.
So, he runs off again.
And Susan comes up to me again.
And she thinks it's my fault AGAIN.
Susan>> What did you do?
[GM]Dave>> I have no idea.
[GM]Dave>> Damn, that kid hates gardening.
posted by Goblin Smithy @ 11:51 AM
13 Comments:
As soon as I saw the title, I thought: 'Oh dear, this is going to be even more tasteless than usual.' And I was RIGHT! Isn't deductive reasoning amazing?
Im not too sure i understand the whole grandmother seed thing... but that explain why you havent been updating as frequently recently.
Veinor Angiol said...
As soon as I saw the title, I thought: 'Oh dear, this is going to be even more tasteless than usual.' And I was RIGHT! Isn't deductive reasoning amazing?
Dave i liked the enty..unlike that jackass.
First things first though...if people don't like your blog why don't they click the little red button witht he X in it..i believe to directed people to do that one time.
sometimes being cruel or pure evil is more fun..
I am soooooooo using those jokes now XD Thanks GM Dave! ^^v
Creature124,
In twelve hours, they'd both be in the ground.
Also, you bury a seed about 3-6 inches and a casket about 6 feet. Difference: 5 and a half feet.
And just to be clear, this is not tasteless fiction. It's tasteless fact.
Seriously.
thanks for that dave. i get it now ^_^ that makes me feel really stupid
Lorena Bobbitt. <- Now there's a good definition of pain.
That was sweet.
Remember folks, calling a post tasteless doesn't necessarily mean the guy didn't like the post. It was tasteless, and I'm still laughing. =P
You are evil. =)
hates gardening?
i'm gonna chuck it in. 60k on treesaplings and all i get are a stack of DAMN Kitrons.
LEMONS. aaarghwtf
[GM]Dave said:
And just to be clear, this is not tasteless fiction. It's tasteless fact.
wow. just, wow.
No Shake. series that you made two posts and didn't realize it.
Meh. Fool. Well, if they were real people and there was a loss, we can be sorry for it, ne?
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