Irony, Thy Name Is GilsellerI need to lie down.
This has been possibly the most retarded day that has ever been.
Honestly, I cannot even begin to explain the sheer stupidity of today's events, so I will simply relate them as they happened.
I was on the night shift and was working very late. This, of course, meant three things:
1) I had been drinking quite a bit
2) I was half asleep (except replace half with completely)
3) I was not in the mood to deal with people.
Was this the stupid part of the day?
Those three things are usually true when I'm working anyway.
So, I'm getting some crafting done and sending random morons to Mordion Gaol for inflating the prices of my materials.
Player-controlled economy my ass. You mess with my profits and I'm going to cut you.
Suddenly, I get a GM call.
GM Call Description: GM help! Player disturb me. He use 3rd software. Please to interfere, and to punish.
Somewhere the english language is crying itself to sleep.
Why does that player name sound familiar though?
I quickly flip through the special red folder on my desk. This folder contains the names of every suspected gilseller.
I call it my "Shoot On Sight" list.
And there he is.
A gilseller reporting a gilseller.
Now, you're probably thinking that this must be the stupidity of which I speak.
Not even close.
We get calls from gilsellers about gilsellers all the time.
That's nothing new.
But don't worry. It's coming.
Because I always have to slow down and gaze upon the train wreck that is humanity, I logged in and sent the "customer" a tell.
[GM]Dave>> Hail, Adventurer.
[GM]Dave>> You wanted to report a kettle for being black?
Player>> Hello to you.
Player>> Please to help us.
[GM]Dave>> English called.
[GM]Dave>> It says "Please, stop."
Player>> Other player cheating.
Player>> He use 3rd software.
[GM]Dave>> Well... you'd know, wouldn't you?
Player>> Please. We ask you.
[GM]Dave>> Tell you what...
[GM]Dave>> Why don't the three of us discuss this?
Now, I want to describe the scene for you.
We're in Mordion Gaol. On one side, I have a level 75 Rank 1 Red Mage.
Yes, I said Rank 1.
On the other side, I have a level 75 Ninja who, as we speak, is cycling through targets in the room and attempting to provoke.
Also Rank 1.
Words fail me.
[GM]Dave>> I have brought you both here to discuss cheating.
Player>> Why we are here?
Player>> He is cheater.
[GM]Dave>> He filed a report against you, too.
Player>> We are innocent.
[GM]Dave>> That's not what he says.
[GM]Dave>> Isn't that right?
Player>> He did not say.
[GM]Dave>> Sure, he did.
[GM]Dave>> Do you have anything else to say?
[GM]Dave>> He said what about my mother?!
Player>> He lie.
Player>> He lie.
[GM]Dave>> I'm sorry.
[GM]Dave>> I'm going to have to refer this file to a committee.
Jormungand hits Player for 15,682 points of damage.
Player was defeated by Jormungand.
[GM]Dave>> It's not looking good.
So, I ban the two of them.
Two less gilsellers in the world. Good shift, right?
Not so much.
GM Call Description: Player disappear. Please to help.
Yes. A gilseller calling a GM to find a gilseller who called a GM to report a gilseller.
My life is surreal.
Do they not understand the point of a GM?
By the time my shift was over, I banned six more gilsellers who all called me about the first gilseller.
It was like a train of stupid.
I think I banned one guy twice.
My head hurts. I need to lie down.