Bannable Offenses

[GM]Dave Gives Back

I was in a great mood when I got to work today.

I mean a GREAT mood.

This, of course, had nothing to do with a weekend of crazy, freaky, wild sex.

Nothing at all.

That is, however, why I was limping when I came in.

Totally worth it.

Anyway, because I was in such a great mood, I decided to do something nice for someone.

Not random though.

I hate giving things to random people because I always wind up getting a complete moron. Some slack-jawed simpleton who drools on my shoes as he asks me for money.

Instead of that, I decided to choose someone from the fan club.

Converting to Davism does have its advantages.

So, I started combing through the e-mails I've received lately.

No. Not this one.

His character name has too many vowels.

This is a fantasy game, people. That means fantasy names, not names that cannot be pronounced with the human tongue.

So, he's out.

Nope. Not this girl, either.

She used an emoticon in her e-mail.

As I am neither twelve nor chatting on AOL, I'll assume she wasn't talking to me.

Here's one.

Good e-mail. No emo begging for help. Doesn't say Manthra.

Perfect.

I do a quick server check and then log into Odin so that I might rain good tidings on this lucky, lucky soul.

[GM]Dave>> Hail, Adventurer.
[GM]Dave>> How are things?
Huf>> Uhh...
Huf>> Good.
[GM]Dave>> Good?
[GM]Dave>> Please, not so much detail.
Huf>> Did I do something wrong?
Huf>> Am I getting banned?
[GM]Dave>> Why do people ask me that?
Huf>> Well...
Huf>> You do kind of always ban people.
[GM]Dave>> True.
[GM]Dave>> I do tend to inspire fear.
[GM]Dave>> Lucky for you, you're not getting banned.
Huf>> ...
[GM]Dave>> What?
Huf>> I'm not sure if I should cheer about that just yet.
[GM]Dave>> Don't you have any faith?
Huf>> No.
Huf>> Not really.
[GM]Dave>> Yeah...
[GM]Dave>> That's probably a good plan.
Huf>> Okay... if I'm not in trouble...
Huf>> Why are you here?
[GM]Dave>> I'm in a good mood.
Huf>> Who are you?
Huf>> What'd you do to [GM]Dave?
[GM]Dave>> I'm going to let that slide.
[GM]Dave>> For now.
Huf>> Gotcha.
[GM]Dave>> I'm here to bestow good fortune upon you.
Huf>> Sweet.
Huf>> What does that mean?
[GM]Dave>> It means I'm going to do something nice.
[GM]Dave>> What do you want?
Huf>> Can we kill some gilsellers?
[GM]Dave>> That's it?
Huf>> Eh...
Huf>> I'm easy to please.
[GM]Dave>> It's your dime, man.
[GM]Dave>> How do you want to do it?
[GM]Dave>> Fiery sword?
[GM]Dave>> Explosive device?
Huf>> Can I feed them to Jormy?
[GM]Dave>> ... I guess that could be arranged.
Huf>> SWEET!
[GM]Dave>> You are easy to please.

So, we find a few gilsellers around the server and transport them to Mordion Gaol.

I was even kind enough to switch Huf's armor to look like GM gear.

I am a benevolent god.

Huf>> THIS ARMOR IS SWEET!
[GM]Dave>> Yeah.
[GM]Dave>> That's only a loan, you realize.
Huf>> Oh.
Huf>> Still cool, though.
Huf>> Look! I'm all shimmery.
[GM]Dave>> I'm kind of used to it by now.
Huf>> So what do I do?
[GM]Dave>> Just tell me which one to kill first.
Huf>> Uhh...
Huf>> How about the Hume on the end?
[GM]Dave>> Sure.
[GM]Dave>> Jormy! COULD YOU EAT THAT GUY?

Jormungand hits Hume for 14,752 points of damage.
Hume was defeated by Jormungand.

Huf>> Ha ha!
Huf>> That was awesome!
[GM]Dave>> Who's next?
Huf>> THAT GUY!
Huf>> The Galka!
[GM]Dave>> Calm down.
[GM]Dave>> Hey, Jormy!
[GM]Dave>> Could you get Fatty there?

Jormungand hits Galka for 13,394 points of damage.
Galka was defeated by Jormungand.

We went through their number pretty quick.

Then we only had one left. A frail little Taru Thief.

Huf>> YOU'RE TOAST NOW!
Huf>> JORMY! EAT THE MIDGET!

Jormungand hits Huf for 18,940 points of damage.
Huf was defeated by Jormungand.

Huf>> WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!
[GM]Dave>> See...
[GM]Dave>> He really doesn't like being ordered around.

Still, I think he enjoyed the experience.

It's nice helping people.

posted by Goblin Smithy @ 6:45 PM