So Much For That
Well... the Mentor thing really didn't work out. [GM]Fetus isn't going to make it here.Probably for the best. I'm sure he would have started to get cranky around naptime, anyway.
Plus, I had to watch over that boy for entire shifts. This was seriously cutting into my crafting/drinking time.
Damn, though. I really thought I could mold that boy into something great, something fantastic.
Another me.
But that dream went down the tubes awfully damned fast yesterday.
I caught him... oh God, it's almost too horrible to say...
I caught him actually resolving a problem for a customer.
He didn't even use sarcasm or anything.
Great. Just great.
If word of this gets out, I'm going to have thousands of morons who'll expect me to solve their problems, too.
Monosyllabic GM calls will flood in.
Punctuation will be beaten mercilessly.
Oh, the humanity.
Then came the last straw.
[GM]Dave>> Is this my coffee?
[GM]Fetus>> Yeah.
[GM]Dave>> And the cream is where exactly?
[GM]Fetus>> Oh...
[GM]Fetus>> I forgot.
I mean, how freaking retarded is that?
Obviously, I would have to destroy him.
[GM]Dave>> Fetus, we need to talk.
[GM]Fetus>> Why do you keep calling me that?
[GM]Fetus>> My name is [GM]Darkwingslayer.
[GM]Dave>> We're not having that conversation again.
[GM]Dave>> I refuse to call you Darkwingduck or whatever.
[GM]Dave>> You sound like a retarded Anne Rice character.
[GM]Fetus>> What about [GM]Sephiroth?
[GM]Dave>> ...
[GM]Dave>> I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that.
[GM]Fetus>> Fine. Whatever.
[GM]Fetus>> I'll have to figure out a name tomorrow.
[GM]Dave>> Well...
[GM]Dave>> I've got good news and bad news on that.
[GM]Fetus>> What's the good news?
[GM]Dave>> You have the day off tomorrow.
[GM]Fetus>> Oh... okay then.
[GM]Fetus>> And the bad news?
[GM]Dave>> Same as the good news.
[GM]Dave>> Only applied to every day thereafter.
[GM]Fetus>> What do you mean?
[GM]Dave>> Sigh.
[GM]Dave>> Are you any good with analogies?
[GM]Fetus>> Sure.
[GM]Dave>> Okay.
[GM]Dave>> Imagine being a GM is like a job.
[GM]Fetus>> But it is a job.
[GM]Dave>> Now, imagine you're being fired from that job.
[GM]Dave>> With me so far?
[GM]Fetus>> I'M FIRED?!
[GM]Dave>> I prefer to call it "involuntary quitting".
[GM]Dave>> It's just like quitting...
[GM]Dave>> Only instead of quitting, you're fired.
[GM]Fetus>> This is ridiculous!
[GM]Fetus>> What am I being fired for?
[GM]Dave>> Inappropriate behavior.
[GM]Fetus>> I didn't do anything inappropriate!
[GM]Dave>> That's not what the logs say.
[GM]Dave>> On an unrelated note, you should change your password.
[GM]Fetus>> You can't fire me.
[GM]Fetus>> You're not my boss.
[GM]Dave>> Damn. You got me there.
[GM]Dave>> Don't I look silly.
[GM]Dave>> If only it was my job to review your performance.
[GM]Dave>> Oh... Wait a second...
[GM]Dave>> That is my job!
[GM]Dave>> Isn't that funny.
[GM]Fetus>> I hate you.
[GM]Dave>> I get that a lot.
Just to be certain he couldn't do any more damage, I filed a serious report with our supervisor detailing several procedural errors he made while working.
I also "borrowed" his keys and filled the back seat of his car with some office supplies.
Like a computer.
Then, an anonymous tip came in and suddenly, [GM]Fetus was no longer employed here.
It's okay, though. He would have made a terrible me.
You know, having human emotions and all that.
posted by Goblin Smithy @ 6:49 AM
9 Comments:
RIP Fetus ;) But there can be only one [GM]Dave!
Aww, I think you should have kept him on. Would have loved to see the continued torture of another GM.
Besides, you need another nemesis (other than Susan that is). Been a little lonely on that front since Tak's death.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
I can't wait to see if you get to mentor another GM in-training.
[GM]Dave>> I refuse to call you Darkwingduck or whatever.
-----------------------
I used to watch the Darkwingduck cartoon a few years ago.>.>;
[GM]Dave>> If only it was my job to review your performance.
[GM]Dave>> Oh... Wait a second...
[GM]Dave>> That is my job!
I lol'd.
Reeree says "lol" isn't a verb and anyone who conjugates it to the preterit tense is retarded.
Reeree says if you wanted to stick an -ed on it, it should be "l'ed o.l.", because "loled" means "laughed out louded" but that doesn't make any sense.
Usually, I think Reeree is just being mean, and don't agree with her, but she might be right about the retarded thing.
Reeree says "lol" isn't a verb and anyone who conjugates it to the preterit tense is retarded.
Reeree says if you wanted to stick an -ed on it, it should be "l'ed o.l.", because "loled" means "laughed out louded" but that doesn't make any sense.
Usually, I think Reeree is just being mean, and don't agree with her, but she might be right about the retarded thing.
...[GM]Sephiroth... *sigh*
You know, [GM]Dave, you're such a bitter, sarcastic, sadistic man... One day I hope to grow up to be like you @___@... For now, just a bitter, sarcastic, sadistic female... Oh the horror...
And I agree with whomever said the comment about the WoW servers being over run with retards, they need someone who will wave the almighty ban stick around...
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