Wednesday, July 26, 2006

My Second Day In Vana'Diel

Once I got the hang of things, I spent my first day leveling to twelve in the areas directly around San d'Oria.

Many an Orc died while I stood screaming "THIS IS FOR ALDO'S SISTER!!!"

But there comes a time in every young adventurer's life when they realize there must be more to the world than soloing in the starter areas.

It was time for me to head to Valkurm Dunes.

Now, I know what you're thinking. This is going to be a stupid "OMG TEH DUNEZ IZ TEH SUX!" post.

Oh no, my friend.

That's tomorrow.

If you reread the beginning of this post, you'll realize I hadn't even made it to the Dunes yet.

You see, I wanted to actually get to Valkurm. I really did.

Unfortunately, I had no idea how to get there.

Shut up. I was new.

So, I spent some time in La Theine Plateau asking people for directions.

Most people were... what's the opposite of helpful?

Oh yeah.

Pricks.

Anyway, I asked anyone going by while I soloed some more, when suddenly a nice Elvaan female came around a turn and agreed to help me.

I instantly knew that I was going to like this person.

She was level 14. For some reason, I assumed this meant she knew vastly more about the game than I did.

She showed me how to form a party and then she agreed to escort me to Valkurm so that I wouldn't get lost.

Nice, huh?

So, we start walking through the low hills when, off to the right, I notice a sheep.

No... sheep does not describe it properly.

It was a giant gray wall that bore a striking resemblance to a sheep.

Now, this sheep-wall hybrid was obviously not something you'd want to get too close to.

Obviously.

That made it all the funnier when my "escort" veered sharply to the right and ran directly toward it.

Dave>> What the hell are you doing?
Dave>> Why are you getting closer to that thing?

No answer.

I knew instantly that we were going to die.

Note to self: If anyone ever offers to help you, run in the other direction.

So, there we are, CDs still warm from the install and we're charging the King of all Sheeps.

Wait... That doesn't say sheep.

Dave>> Uhh...
Dave>> What's a Lumbering Lambert?

She didn't answer me, but luckily the game provided me with a fairly sound definition.

Lumbering Lambert (noun) - an enormous, homicidal sheep hellbent on getting justice for every sweater on our planet.

My escort ran toward this monstrocity.

Not only toward it. DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF IT.

He wasn't so much with the lumbering after that.

He was more like "Stomping On Your Goddamned Face" Lambert.

My face was defeated.

My face deleveled.

So, we're lying there on the ground, hoof marks still embedded in our skulls when I decide to ask.

Dave>> Why exactly did we do that?
Escort>> Oh.
Escort>> I wanted to get a screenshot.

On a completely unrelated note, it was around the end of day two that I really started hating people.

8 Comments:

At 10:14 PM, Blogger Bellemithra said...

OMG hahahahahahaa!!!!!! Wow this brings back the memories!

 
At 10:56 PM, Blogger REDKINOKO said...

Hahahaha realizations. People are either evil or enormously stupid and there's only one way to learn this simple lesson - actual practice.

Offtopic: Are you colorblind? http://redkinoko.blogspot.com/2006/07/colors-and-you.html

 
At 6:29 AM, Blogger Meroduin said...

I'm a lvl 10 Monk mule, and many are the people I escorted in perfect safety to the Dunes! Granted, I then ditched them there to go back to sitting on my pile of gil, but it never ceases to amaze me how EASY it is to get to the dunes safely if a) you know the way (i.e., had it burned into your skull by your Master) and b) your escortee actually pays attention to the things you say ("Walk where I walk, and don't touch anythingn unless I tell you to.") while at the same time how DANGEROUS it can be if say, the person you are escorting suddenly morphs into a rampaging idiot halfway there ("ooooh, this ??? wants me to give it something!").

 
At 11:40 AM, Blogger Pasquale said...

I've done that before with equally catastrophic results. I was hitting the wrong key though and got no screen shots. So lose-lose I guess. Guy I was escorting was less than pleased. I don't remember exactly, but I think I remember him saying something about my mom and president Hoover.

 
At 2:13 PM, Blogger Reeree said...

WHAT are you DOING? Don't go towards that sheep! He'll kill us all!

What sheep? I'm running up to this mountain for safety.

That "mountain" is going to charge you down and make you think rhinoceros are gentle.

Suddenly looking up at your name in gray floating above your head, trying to figure out what kind of malfunction made the controller go all vibrate crazy like that.

Good times.

 
At 3:37 PM, Blogger Kerensky said...

hehe got lost on second day..

I was in dunes my first day.. I kept killing things tell I got as far as the dunes didn't find out you could come back after dying tell lv 15.

kill more find out more hate ppl always..

I always think ppl are out to get me because they are.

 
At 3:39 PM, Blogger Kerensky said...

ps: I avoided the ram because it shakes my screen and gave me a head ache.. why did they add more things that do that?

 
At 3:54 AM, Blogger Kerensky said...

af3 would you be counting rse 1 start gear or relic +1 as af3?

 

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