Wednesday, July 26, 2006

My Second Day In Vana'Diel

Once I got the hang of things, I spent my first day leveling to twelve in the areas directly around San d'Oria.

Many an Orc died while I stood screaming "THIS IS FOR ALDO'S SISTER!!!"

But there comes a time in every young adventurer's life when they realize there must be more to the world than soloing in the starter areas.

It was time for me to head to Valkurm Dunes.

Now, I know what you're thinking. This is going to be a stupid "OMG TEH DUNEZ IZ TEH SUX!" post.

Oh no, my friend.

That's tomorrow.

If you reread the beginning of this post, you'll realize I hadn't even made it to the Dunes yet.

You see, I wanted to actually get to Valkurm. I really did.

Unfortunately, I had no idea how to get there.

Shut up. I was new.

So, I spent some time in La Theine Plateau asking people for directions.

Most people were... what's the opposite of helpful?

Oh yeah.


Anyway, I asked anyone going by while I soloed some more, when suddenly a nice Elvaan female came around a turn and agreed to help me.

I instantly knew that I was going to like this person.

She was level 14. For some reason, I assumed this meant she knew vastly more about the game than I did.

She showed me how to form a party and then she agreed to escort me to Valkurm so that I wouldn't get lost.

Nice, huh?

So, we start walking through the low hills when, off to the right, I notice a sheep.

No... sheep does not describe it properly.

It was a giant gray wall that bore a striking resemblance to a sheep.

Now, this sheep-wall hybrid was obviously not something you'd want to get too close to.


That made it all the funnier when my "escort" veered sharply to the right and ran directly toward it.

Dave>> What the hell are you doing?
Dave>> Why are you getting closer to that thing?

No answer.

I knew instantly that we were going to die.

Note to self: If anyone ever offers to help you, run in the other direction.

So, there we are, CDs still warm from the install and we're charging the King of all Sheeps.

Wait... That doesn't say sheep.

Dave>> Uhh...
Dave>> What's a Lumbering Lambert?

She didn't answer me, but luckily the game provided me with a fairly sound definition.

Lumbering Lambert (noun) - an enormous, homicidal sheep hellbent on getting justice for every sweater on our planet.

My escort ran toward this monstrocity.

Not only toward it. DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF IT.

He wasn't so much with the lumbering after that.

He was more like "Stomping On Your Goddamned Face" Lambert.

My face was defeated.

My face deleveled.

So, we're lying there on the ground, hoof marks still embedded in our skulls when I decide to ask.

Dave>> Why exactly did we do that?
Escort>> Oh.
Escort>> I wanted to get a screenshot.

On a completely unrelated note, it was around the end of day two that I really started hating people.


At 7:16 PM, Blogger DeaconBlue said...

Escort>> I wanted to get a screenshot.

Did they at least get the screen shot rofl :P

At 7:23 PM, Blogger Razmo said...

LoL thanks for bringing me back to the good old days...finding out what a "steelfleece" was....ass....


At 8:05 PM, Blogger Havok said...

Lumbering Lambert (noun) - an enormous, homicidal sheep hellbent on getting justice for every sweater on our planet.

perfect definition. bet you got your revenge after you became a GM on that escort

At 8:27 PM, Blogger WindowOfTheSoul said...

You should have thought a little better as soon as you saw it was an elvaan female... A NICE one at that. Nice Elvaan Female = Trouble.

At 8:29 PM, Blogger Keilyn said...

You have got to be kidding me. That's what I like about WoW. I never had a problem finding help if I needed it and didn't have idiots running around dangerous places doing stupid things while they're supposed to be helping me.
On the other hand, i've helped many a person as well.
Then again, I went most dangerous and too high level for me places all by myself without dying. That's what learning how to run around and avoiding dangerous mobs in eqoa teaches you. I've taken dragon pictures even without a problem.
People are just too retarded. Kill them all [GM]Dave.

At 8:47 PM, Blogger Julia said...

Hahaha, what an idiot. At least you learned one simple lesson ... just because their level is higher than yours does not necessarily mean they are less of a noob.

At 8:58 PM, Blogger Artos said...

There was a time that the Ram NMs weren't camped?

At 9:02 PM, Blogger Alerith said...

Same thing happened to me pretty much.

Im from bastok and a lower level player said they would escort me to the dunes.

We made it halfway through the Konschtat Highlands before she decided it would be easy for the two of use to take a sheep. (She was a BLM and I was a RDM....)

So we are killing sheep pretty good. Then I see:

:Escort starts casting Bio on the Tremor Ram:

Im all like, "That sounds cool. Whats a Tremor Ram?"

BOOM. Flat on my face wondering wtf happened.

I turn the camera a bit and there is this...what did you call it? An enormous, homicidal sheep hellbent on getting justice for every sweater on our planet?


At 9:09 PM, Blogger Flarf said...

I have been thinking of playing this game for awhile now. If I ever actually get around to playing I will remember to never trust anyone.

At 9:44 PM, Blogger nano said...

Hahahahaha.... Mhurahahahahahahaaaa... These comments get funnier and funnier.. 'Never had this problem in WoW' Hahahahahhaahaaaa... You are a very bold-faced liar, keilyn.

At 10:14 PM, Blogger Bellemithra said...

OMG hahahahahahaa!!!!!! Wow this brings back the memories!

At 10:56 PM, Blogger redkinoko said...

Hahahaha realizations. People are either evil or enormously stupid and there's only one way to learn this simple lesson - actual practice.

Offtopic: Are you colorblind?

At 3:55 AM, Blogger Aylee said...

Bazaar Comment changed. :)

Aylee on Ramuh, check it out - it's the sweater comment ^^ Currently in the dunes Bazaaring.

At 4:06 AM, Blogger Keilyn said...

No Nano, I have never had that problem in a year of playing the game. I also play on a role playing server instead of one of the regular servers. Everyone has a different experience. Maybe you should learn that. In fact, I didn't have that problem in EQ2 on the rp server I was on either. I did have that problem in eqoa. I also have had tons of fun *read frustration* with people in Guild Wars. I have run into people in WoW who will steal or other things, but that wasn't what the topic was about.

At 5:04 AM, Blogger Loki said...

Who gives a damn what you did or did not do in WoW. Does [GM]Dave work in WoW? Are his posts about WoW? If you don't play FFXI, do you even know what he is talking about? Take your WoW ass and step off.

At 6:29 AM, Blogger Meroduin said...

I'm a lvl 10 Monk mule, and many are the people I escorted in perfect safety to the Dunes! Granted, I then ditched them there to go back to sitting on my pile of gil, but it never ceases to amaze me how EASY it is to get to the dunes safely if a) you know the way (i.e., had it burned into your skull by your Master) and b) your escortee actually pays attention to the things you say ("Walk where I walk, and don't touch anythingn unless I tell you to.") while at the same time how DANGEROUS it can be if say, the person you are escorting suddenly morphs into a rampaging idiot halfway there ("ooooh, this ??? wants me to give it something!").

At 6:53 AM, Blogger Thistle said...

Not only toward it. DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF IT.

Escort>> Oh.
Escort>> I wanted to get a screenshot.

Ha ha. I was watching King Behemoth get killed the other day, and kept running into AoE damage range to try to get good screenshots. Luckily I never died, but it was a close thing a couple times.

At 10:34 AM, Blogger Darkmage said...

Ya know, I had a rather similar experience. Lv. 10 no subjob, Duoing bunnies in LTP me & another BLM. We get an invite to the dunes, so we agree, and we're all on our way.

About halfway to the zone, I suddenly fall down, dead, spin the camera around and wow, look it's the biggest sheep I've ever seen.

I would later seek revenge on every battering ram I saw.

Raz, this was incidentally the first time I ever met selk, gliv, and a few others lol...

At 11:40 AM, Blogger Pasquale said...

I've done that before with equally catastrophic results. I was hitting the wrong key though and got no screen shots. So lose-lose I guess. Guy I was escorting was less than pleased. I don't remember exactly, but I think I remember him saying something about my mom and president Hoover.

At 12:02 PM, Blogger Mort said...

Dear [GM]Dave,

Please end the lives of people like Loki, who cannot comprehend that your stories of these idiots relate to more then just FFXI. Yes I play WoW. Yes I played FFXI through level 68, I believe, on a whitemage.
And Loki, you fail at life. These stories would be funny to me even if I didn't play online games. Imagine that, getting joy at the pure hatred of Idiots like you. New concept I'm sure.

At 2:13 PM, Blogger Reeree said...

WHAT are you DOING? Don't go towards that sheep! He'll kill us all!

What sheep? I'm running up to this mountain for safety.

That "mountain" is going to charge you down and make you think rhinoceros are gentle.

Suddenly looking up at your name in gray floating above your head, trying to figure out what kind of malfunction made the controller go all vibrate crazy like that.

Good times.

At 3:37 PM, Blogger Kerensky said...

hehe got lost on second day..

I was in dunes my first day.. I kept killing things tell I got as far as the dunes didn't find out you could come back after dying tell lv 15.

kill more find out more hate ppl always..

I always think ppl are out to get me because they are.

At 3:39 PM, Blogger Kerensky said...

ps: I avoided the ram because it shakes my screen and gave me a head ache.. why did they add more things that do that?

At 5:56 PM, Blogger Razmo said...

LOL Darkmage...nothing like mass genocide via a sheep to bring people together.


At 8:10 PM, Blogger Citizen Bleys said...

FFXI breeds suicidal people.

I tanked the WHM AF3 mob. As a level 68 Samurai. Just to see if I could keep hate off of 2 70+ plds with Meikyo Shisui. Yeah, I could. One of the plds finally did get hate back--with Swift Blade. And I had TP. So I had to close Darkness.

Nobody died except for me.

At 3:54 AM, Blogger Kerensky said...

af3 would you be counting rse 1 start gear or relic +1 as af3?

At 5:09 AM, Blogger Citizen Bleys said...


AF1 is the weapon.
AF2 is used to describe both Dynamis gear or the first quested artifact armor because people are too stupid to come up with clear nomenclature
AF3 is the second quested artifact armor.

The coffer quests are AFsweet fuck all.

Limbus gear is generally called AF1+1. (I prefer AF1.5, but nobody listens to me)


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