My Second Day In Vana'DielOnce I got the hang of things, I spent my first day leveling to twelve in the areas directly around San d'Oria.
Many an Orc died while I stood screaming "THIS IS FOR ALDO'S SISTER!!!"
But there comes a time in every young adventurer's life when they realize there must be more to the world than soloing in the starter areas.
It was time for me to head to Valkurm Dunes.
Now, I know what you're thinking. This is going to be a stupid "OMG TEH DUNEZ IZ TEH SUX!" post.
Oh no, my friend.
If you reread the beginning of this post, you'll realize I hadn't even made it to the Dunes yet.
You see, I wanted to actually get to Valkurm. I really did.
Unfortunately, I had no idea how to get there.
Shut up. I was new.
So, I spent some time in La Theine Plateau asking people for directions.
Most people were... what's the opposite of helpful?
Anyway, I asked anyone going by while I soloed some more, when suddenly a nice Elvaan female came around a turn and agreed to help me.
I instantly knew that I was going to like this person.
She was level 14. For some reason, I assumed this meant she knew vastly more about the game than I did.
She showed me how to form a party and then she agreed to escort me to Valkurm so that I wouldn't get lost.
So, we start walking through the low hills when, off to the right, I notice a sheep.
No... sheep does not describe it properly.
It was a giant gray wall that bore a striking resemblance to a sheep.
Now, this sheep-wall hybrid was obviously not something you'd want to get too close to.
That made it all the funnier when my "escort" veered sharply to the right and ran directly toward it.
Dave>> What the hell are you doing?
Dave>> Why are you getting closer to that thing?
I knew instantly that we were going to die.
Note to self: If anyone ever offers to help you, run in the other direction.
So, there we are, CDs still warm from the install and we're charging the King of all Sheeps.
Wait... That doesn't say sheep.
Dave>> What's a Lumbering Lambert?
She didn't answer me, but luckily the game provided me with a fairly sound definition.
Lumbering Lambert (noun) - an enormous, homicidal sheep hellbent on getting justice for every sweater on our planet.
My escort ran toward this monstrocity.
Not only toward it. DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF IT.
He wasn't so much with the lumbering after that.
He was more like "Stomping On Your Goddamned Face" Lambert.
My face was defeated.
My face deleveled.
So, we're lying there on the ground, hoof marks still embedded in our skulls when I decide to ask.
Dave>> Why exactly did we do that?
Escort>> I wanted to get a screenshot.
On a completely unrelated note, it was around the end of day two that I really started hating people.