[GM]Dave Meets The In-Laws
Sorry, guys. No [GM]Juan today.I somehow managed to restrain myself enough not to murder Susan's parents.
I'm applying for sainthood later today.
Yesterday morning, I felt something was coming.
Something bad.
I was in the middle of feeding a gil seller duo to Jormy when a sudden chill ran up my spine.
Just seconds later, I got a tell from Susan in-game.
Susan>> Hi, Honey.
Susan>> How's your day going?
[GM]Dave>> What's wrong?
Susan>> Nothing's wrong.
Susan>> Why would you ask that?
[GM]Dave>> You never ask me how my day is going.
[GM]Dave>> Thus, something bad is happening.
Susan>> Dammit.
Susan>> Rookie mistake.
[GM]Dave>> Now what the hell is it?
Susan>> Well...
Susan>> My parents are coming to visit.
[GM]Dave>> ...
[GM]Dave>> I need a young priest and an old priest.
The rest of the day at work was just depressing. Each minute that ticked by was one minute closer to seeing Susan's parents.
Let me give you a little background.
Susan's father is a retired cop. He is large and scary. He actually reminds me a little of a Galka.
He has, on several occasions, alluded to killing me. He's never out right said it, but we both know he's thinking it.
The gleam in his eye is the part that bothers me.
Susan's mother is small and loud. And by loud, I mean loud. She also likes to constantly correct people.
I don't like being corrected.
You can imagine the fun we have.
So, my shift ends and I find myself experiencing a curious sensation. I don't want to leave work.
This is odd.
Still, as I hope to someday "zone" back into Susan's pants, I have no choice but to go home.
Trying to earn some merit points, I stop on the way home and pick up supper for everyone. Only the finest, gourmet cuisine.
I even supersized it.
I walk into the house and Susan has that look on her face. You know the look.
Try to picture someone about to drown and mad at the water for it. That's the look.
And there, in my damned chair is her father. Her mother is busy cleaning the kitchen.
Our kitchen.
Sigh.
[GM]Dave>> I'm home.
HerFather>> Well, goodness.
HerFather>> Someone alert the media.
Susan>> Daddy.
Susan>> Be nice.
[GM]Dave>> Eh, don't worry about it.
[GM]Dave>> I hope I'm that funny when I'm your age.
HerFather>> What's that supposed to mean?
[GM]Dave>> You know. When I'm eighty.
HerFather>> I'm not eighty!!
[GM]Dave>> I know.
[GM]Dave>> I undercut to make you feel better.
HerFather>> Where did I put my gun?
[GM]Dave>> They say the mind is the first thing to go.
HerFather>> Dear...
Susan>> Honey. Leave Daddy alone.
[GM]Dave>> Okay. I got supper for everyone.
[GM]Dave>> We can mash his pills into his burger.
HerFather>> I heard that.
Susan>> Mom, Dave brought us supper.
HerMother>> That's funny.
HerMother>> I thought you said brought, instead of cooked.
Susan>> I did say brought.
HerMother>> Oh... that's nice.
HerMother>> I guess.
[GM]Dave>> Yeah...
[GM]Dave>> See, I was working all day.
HerFather>> Oh, did you find a job?
[GM]Dave>> Yeah. I'm a GM.
HerFather>> What the hell is a GM?
HerFather>> You're not selling drugs are you?
[GM]Dave>> No.
[GM]Dave>> I'm a Game Master.
HerFather>> You're a homosexual?!
[GM]Dave>> Sigh.
[GM]Dave>> GaME Master.
HerFather>> Still not getting it.
[GM]Dave>> I'm kind of like a cop.
[GM]Dave>> For a major video game.
HerFather>> A cop...
HerFather>> Yeah.
HerMother>> So you spent the day playing video games?
Susan>> Mom, don't start.
[GM]Dave>> I didn't play the game.
[GM]Dave>> I took care of customers who play the game.
HerFather>> So you're like the King geek, I guess.
[GM]Dave>> Where did I put your gun?
HerFather>> Maybe you should get a real job.
[GM]Dave>> Well...
[GM]Dave>> I have been working on car maintenance.
HerFather>> Now, that's a bit better.
[GM]Dave>> As a matter of fact, I just looked at your brakes.
[GM]Dave>> You still live on that hill, right?
The whole day would have turned out badly, but Susan knew exactly what to do.
She got us drunk. Fast.
Still, though... I kept looking for that damned gun.
posted by Goblin Smithy @ 7:56 AM
6 Comments:
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I wouldn't know, but I hear that it's never pleasant to meet the other person's parents.
Sex Money Monkey said...
Yeah, I mean as if throwing all your freedom away isn't bad enough, they make you meet their parents....
I say Pfffft, and I say it long and hard.
I plan on staying away from marriage
Jesus Christ. I couldn't have said it better. That's some good advice you got going on there, young'un.
i have no end of sympathy for you. I have relitaves that are exactly like that.
I'd hate to see what her parents do when you try to sleep together XD
/comort
So glad you lived through it.
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