Sunday, July 02, 2006

[GM]Dave Meets The In-Laws

Sorry, guys. No [GM]Juan today.

I somehow managed to restrain myself enough not to murder Susan's parents.

I'm applying for sainthood later today.

Yesterday morning, I felt something was coming.

Something bad.

I was in the middle of feeding a gil seller duo to Jormy when a sudden chill ran up my spine.

Just seconds later, I got a tell from Susan in-game.

Susan>> Hi, Honey.
Susan>> How's your day going?
[GM]Dave>> What's wrong?
Susan>> Nothing's wrong.
Susan>> Why would you ask that?
[GM]Dave>> You never ask me how my day is going.
[GM]Dave>> Thus, something bad is happening.
Susan>> Dammit.
Susan>> Rookie mistake.
[GM]Dave>> Now what the hell is it?
Susan>> Well...
Susan>> My parents are coming to visit.
[GM]Dave>> ...
[GM]Dave>> I need a young priest and an old priest.

The rest of the day at work was just depressing. Each minute that ticked by was one minute closer to seeing Susan's parents.

Let me give you a little background.

Susan's father is a retired cop. He is large and scary. He actually reminds me a little of a Galka.

He has, on several occasions, alluded to killing me. He's never out right said it, but we both know he's thinking it.

The gleam in his eye is the part that bothers me.

Susan's mother is small and loud. And by loud, I mean loud. She also likes to constantly correct people.

I don't like being corrected.

You can imagine the fun we have.

So, my shift ends and I find myself experiencing a curious sensation. I don't want to leave work.

This is odd.

Still, as I hope to someday "zone" back into Susan's pants, I have no choice but to go home.

Trying to earn some merit points, I stop on the way home and pick up supper for everyone. Only the finest, gourmet cuisine.

I even supersized it.

I walk into the house and Susan has that look on her face. You know the look.

Try to picture someone about to drown and mad at the water for it. That's the look.

And there, in my damned chair is her father. Her mother is busy cleaning the kitchen.

Our kitchen.

Sigh.

[GM]Dave>> I'm home.
HerFather>> Well, goodness.
HerFather>> Someone alert the media.
Susan>> Daddy.
Susan>> Be nice.
[GM]Dave>> Eh, don't worry about it.
[GM]Dave>> I hope I'm that funny when I'm your age.
HerFather>> What's that supposed to mean?
[GM]Dave>> You know. When I'm eighty.
HerFather>> I'm not eighty!!
[GM]Dave>> I know.
[GM]Dave>> I undercut to make you feel better.
HerFather>> Where did I put my gun?
[GM]Dave>> They say the mind is the first thing to go.
HerFather>> Dear...
Susan>> Honey. Leave Daddy alone.
[GM]Dave>> Okay. I got supper for everyone.
[GM]Dave>> We can mash his pills into his burger.
HerFather>> I heard that.
Susan>> Mom, Dave brought us supper.
HerMother>> That's funny.
HerMother>> I thought you said brought, instead of cooked.
Susan>> I did say brought.
HerMother>> Oh... that's nice.
HerMother>> I guess.
[GM]Dave>> Yeah...
[GM]Dave>> See, I was working all day.
HerFather>> Oh, did you find a job?
[GM]Dave>> Yeah. I'm a GM.
HerFather>> What the hell is a GM?
HerFather>> You're not selling drugs are you?
[GM]Dave>> No.
[GM]Dave>> I'm a Game Master.
HerFather>> You're a homosexual?!
[GM]Dave>> Sigh.
[GM]Dave>> GaME Master.
HerFather>> Still not getting it.
[GM]Dave>> I'm kind of like a cop.
[GM]Dave>> For a major video game.
HerFather>> A cop...
HerFather>> Yeah.
HerMother>> So you spent the day playing video games?
Susan>> Mom, don't start.
[GM]Dave>> I didn't play the game.
[GM]Dave>> I took care of customers who play the game.
HerFather>> So you're like the King geek, I guess.
[GM]Dave>> Where did I put your gun?
HerFather>> Maybe you should get a real job.
[GM]Dave>> Well...
[GM]Dave>> I have been working on car maintenance.
HerFather>> Now, that's a bit better.
[GM]Dave>> As a matter of fact, I just looked at your brakes.
[GM]Dave>> You still live on that hill, right?

The whole day would have turned out badly, but Susan knew exactly what to do.

She got us drunk. Fast.

Still, though... I kept looking for that damned gun.

24 Comments:

At 6:24 PM, Blogger BenoSmash said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 6:24 PM, Blogger BenoSmash said...

I wouldn't know, but I hear that it's never pleasant to meet the other person's parents.

 
At 6:54 PM, Blogger Sex Money Monkey said...

Yeah, I mean as if throwing all your freedom away isn't bad enough, they make you meet their parents....

I say Pfffft, and I say it long and hard.

I plan on staying away from marriage

 
At 7:00 PM, Blogger Sakurafire said...

Sex Money Monkey said...
Yeah, I mean as if throwing all your freedom away isn't bad enough, they make you meet their parents....
I say Pfffft, and I say it long and hard.
I plan on staying away from marriage


Jesus Christ. I couldn't have said it better. That's some good advice you got going on there, young'un.

 
At 8:45 PM, Blogger creature124 said...

i have no end of sympathy for you. I have relitaves that are exactly like that.

 
At 9:02 PM, Blogger Myloko said...

I'd hate to see what her parents do when you try to sleep together XD

 
At 9:24 PM, Blogger DeaconBlue said...

Your Sainthood application was accepted by the Order of Cardinals, but we need the Pope to sign off on it and today was his golf day.

 
At 12:47 AM, Blogger Aeriel said...

"[GM]Dave>> I have been working on car maintenance.
HerFather>> Now, that's a bit better.
[GM]Dave>> As a matter of fact, I just looked at your brakes.
[GM]Dave>> You still live on that hill, right?"

LMAO good idea, good deniability on that one, happens all the time :)
Much more avoidable that the prosecution on the gun related murders lol.

 
At 2:33 AM, Blogger Ristle said...

"The whole day would have turned out badly, but Susan knew exactly what to do.

She got us drunk. Fast."


Best thing to do. Go susan.

 
At 4:16 AM, Blogger AJ said...

[GM]Dave>> I have been working on car maintenance.
HerFather>> Now, that's a bit better.
[GM]Dave>> As a matter of fact, I just looked at your brakes.
[GM]Dave>> You still live on that hill, right?



Haha that is pure quality.

 
At 4:29 AM, Blogger Artos said...

"Susan>> Hi, Honey.
Susan>> How's your day going?
[GM]Dave>> What's wrong?
Susan>> Nothing's wrong.
Susan>> Why would you ask that?
[GM]Dave>> You never ask me how my day is going.
[GM]Dave>> Thus, something bad is happening.
Susan>> Dammit.
Susan>> Rookie mistake.
[GM]Dave>> Now what the hell is it?
Susan>> Well...
Susan>> My parents are coming to visit.
[GM]Dave>> ...
[GM]Dave>> I need a young priest and an old priest."

Absolute genius.

 
At 5:56 AM, Blogger Bellemithra said...

/comort

So glad you lived through it.

 
At 5:58 AM, Blogger CaesarsGhost said...

You actually went home?

...man... I would've taken a coworker's shift...

 
At 9:27 AM, Blogger Rykoshet said...

OMG you have a girlfriend god GM dave your a sad fuck, probably not even a real GM prove to me you are come to Fairy loser. Probably some noob DRG thinking he's worth something.

 
At 11:32 AM, Blogger Magda said...

I have been reading this Blog for a while, and this post just was just too funny. I'm sorry your in-laws are that bad... Its funny though. I mean, it would be boring if work was the only place you got harressed and annoyed. Take Solace in the fact that they can't be around forever. Heh.

 
At 2:05 PM, Blogger Yo Alejandro said...

Two words [GM]Dave

Jack Daniels

 
At 3:08 PM, Blogger IronRaven said...

rykoshet, fuck off you prepubescent dick.

Awesome post, Dave. Hope you 'zoned' into Susan's pants after they left ;)

 
At 4:05 PM, Blogger Niclamus said...

Man, I left Fairy server for a reason. People like you, that server is just full of a bunch of, well, fairies.

 
At 4:52 PM, Blogger Onionsoilder said...

Oy Tao, I know the answer will probably be no but... Well I lost my wallet a while back, and was living off cash, but I found my wallet, so now I have a card... and umm... because the gift pack was delayed... can I still get it if I donate $5 now?

 
At 11:09 AM, Blogger Tanta said...

"Trying to earn some merit points, I stop on the way home and pick up supper for everyone. Only the finest, gourmet cuisine.

I even supersized it."

~Priceless.

 
At 7:11 PM, Blogger stormx said...

The whole day would have turned out badly, but Susan knew exactly what to do.

She got us drunk. Fast.


Are they actually better when drunk or just more bearable?

btw, who got the tequila? :P

 
At 12:34 AM, Blogger Mythrender said...

Lol @ those who fall for rykos trolling.

 
At 4:34 PM, Blogger Cloud Leonhart said...

You all need to realize Rykoshet is nothing more then a GameFAQs poster who thinks he's the best, and whether he is or not isn't the question; it's the fact that he can't understand this is a fucking blog for fun. Anyways good post Dave.

 
At 9:37 PM, Blogger Elmdor - Hades Server said...

...You sure my wife and your girlfriend aren't sisters? They sound like my in-laws.

 

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