Bannable Offenses

[GM]Dave Gets Banned

Calm down.

Not that kind of banned.

This kind is much, much, MUCH worse.

I'm having a very bad night.

See, my girlfriend Susan likes to read my blog sometimes.

I mean, come on. I'm awesome.

Usually, her reading the blog is good for me. Getting to see me in action and hear my stories always makes her laugh.

She seems to understand me fairly well.

Unfortunately, my views on marriage do not apparently translate well for the female species.

It appears that her idea of marriage


does not match up well with my opinion of marriage


Any of you with a girlfriend (yes, both of you) will understand what a bad thing this can be.

This is bad for [GM]Dave as it disrupts his needs.

See, I really only need Susan for one or two things.

Well... three if she's been drinking.

Yes, yes. I love her to death and I love being with her yada yada yada.

But this is a basic physical NEED we're talking about.

So, her being all pissed off is not helping me right now.

I'll translate a conversation we had tonight into language you may be more familiar with.

[GM]Dave>> HOT/MAN (( Looking for group)) !
Susan>> (( Congratulations! ))
[GM]Dave>> (( Team up? ))
Susan>> (( No thanks. ))
[GM]Dave>> (( Gather together.))
[GM]Dave>> (( Just for a short time is fine. ))
Susan>> (( I have nothing to give you. ))
[GM]Dave>> (( Help me out! ))
Susan>> (( I'm sorry. I'm busy. ))
Susan>> (( I'm playing solo right now. ))
[GM]Dave>> (( Really? ))
[GM]Dave>> (( Do you need any help? ))
Susan>> (( Thanks for the offer, but I'll have to pass. ))
[GM]Dave>> (( Please let me join. ))
Susan>> (( I'm not up for it. ))
[GM]Dave>> (( Sell? ))

Now, right there is where I got slapped.

I'm still not quite sure what went wrong there.

Maybe I should have said please.

Women.

posted by Goblin Smithy @ 7:47 PM