[GM]Dave Offline - Vol. 5
Great. Just great.Now, you've gone and done it.
Thanks to all of your lovely little comments, there's no living with her now.
You've managed to convince her that she's funny.
What'd I ever do to you bastards?
See, a girlfriend is hard enough to live with as it is.
Then you guys go and tell her how awesome her blog entry was and that was it. Ever since, she's been holding it over my head.
Thank you so goddamned much.
Just to shut her the hell up, I'm "pleased" to announce that Susan will be writing another blog story for the monthly giftpack. All of you readers who donated this month will get an exclusive story written by my "true love".
I use quotation marks there because right now, I could throw her down some stairs.
I won't though.
Probably won't.
Honestly, I can't promise anything. If she starts making more "suggestions", there's a good chance that I'll snap.
If you watch the news tomorrow and see a story about a guy who kills his girlfriend and is dragged off screaming "Bitch was defeated by Jormungand!", then that was most likely me.
In case you haven't noticed, I have anger management issues.
Just FYI.
But who the hell could blame me?
Here's how breakfast went this morning.
Susan>> Morning, Sunshine.
Susan>> Sleep well?
[GM]Dave>> *unintelligible grumbling*
Susan>> Cheery as always, I see.
[GM]Dave>> What are you so happy about?
Susan>> Oh... nothing.
Every man who has ever had a significant other knows that sound. They know the sound of something about to drop.
They know that sound and they fear it.
[GM]Dave>> Okay. Just tell me.
Susan>> Tell you what?
[GM]Dave>> Whatever the bad news is.
[GM]Dave>> Did someone die?
[GM]Dave>> Did Bastok take Ronfaure?!
Susan>> Oh, it was nothing like that.
[GM]Dave>> Then what is it?
Susan>> Did you check the blog this morning?
Susan>> Did you read the comments?
Oh damn. She messed up the blog. She went on there and started getting femo about her period or retaining water and everyone stopped reading the internet.
My girlfriend destroyed the intarweb.
(Editor's note: Femo is a term used to describe women being emo about being women)
[GM]Dave>> Dammit.
[GM]Dave>> I knew I shouldn't have let you write an update.
Susan>> So you haven't read them yet?
[GM]Dave>> I had a nice little blog going there, too.
[GM]Dave>> Now, you went and assed it all up.
Susan>> I thought it was nice.
[GM]Dave>> Nice.
[GM]Dave>> Well, yay for you then.
[GM]Dave>> Civilization is coming to an end, but it was nice.
So, I rush to the computer, pull up the comments section, and start to read.
[GM]Dave>> They liked it.
Susan>> Yup.
[GM]Dave>> They liked it?
Susan>> Yup.
[GM]Dave>> Wait a second...
[GM]Dave>> They actually like it?!
Susan>> Yup.
[GM]Dave>> But you're a woman.
That seemed like a smart thing to say at the time.
When I woke up a few minutes later, I reevaluated and decided that perhaps I could have phrased that better.
[GM]Dave>> How could they like it?
Susan>> Well... I am awesome.
[GM]Dave>> Yeah, but they can't see your ass.
[GM]Dave>> So, I don't get why they like you.
That seemed like a smart thing to say at the time...
[GM]Dave>> Okay, that's getting old.
Susan>> Stop saying stupid things.
[GM]Dave>> I can't believe they liked it.
Susan>> Oh yeah, baby.
[GM]Dave>> You're never going to let me forget this, are you?
Susan>> Hmm... uhh... umm...
Susan>> How about no?
[GM]Dave>> ...
[GM]Dave>> And that's when I killed her, your honor.
Susan>> What did you say?
[GM]Dave>> Oh... nothing.
[GM]Dave>> Just practicing.
Now, I'm at work and every damned two minutes she's e-mailing me with more comments people are posting.
This is the first time I've ever actually hoped for a GM call.
Why oh why did you have to like her?
posted by Goblin Smithy @ 8:09 AM
11 Comments:
Don't Worry GM Dave Susan could never feed people to a dragon like you can. Besides your the GM you could mess with her character if you so wished.
Pay back is always a btich
This blog just keeps getting better and better! ^^v
Needs more cowbell.
Heh, yeah, Susan's was funny, but GMDave, ever the perfectionist, yours are definitely better.
Susan is cool cause she is about the only person that you probably wont ban.
Probably.
Maybe.
You banned your own mother, but you didn't ban Susan, despite screaming questionable statements while in the throws.
I guess it all comes down to the list.
For those of you questioning why Susan hasn't suffered a similar fate as [GM]Dave's mom, reread the list. Now read it again. What's no.1?
Good entry again Dave - keep them coming!
hey, think of it this way... At least your genitals will be well taken care of.
[GM]Dave > everyone
First time ive actually bother to comment...
Susans blog was a breath of fresh air, and funny, but nothing close to the amazing laughs produced by the original model.
Dave>Susan hands down.
Women Rule and Men Drool. Dave has done his fair share of drooling over Susan as well. Et cetera blah blah"
Tycooner I think you've said more than enough. What right do you think you to claim "genderal supremacy" when you do the same bloody thing you accuse dave of doing?
Men can't endure pain? Men are nothing without a woman behind them? Pah!
About Susans entry though, I must say that I found it quite enjoyable, but only because it was "different" from your avarage entry. An entry now and then would be nice, but in the end all our base are belong to Dave
Sorry Dave.
Im trying to rejoin FFXI but i lost my ID i need and i can'[t find it and there's nothing i can seem to do. I can't reuse my activation numbers either...
I would have emailed you with this but...you most likely would have deleted it anyway.
Ack...and i wanted to play again too
stormx said...
Here's a thought, Susan as a GM for a day. :P
Oh god....i don't think anything would be left of the world....first go the people she doesn't like...then any other random people she decieds on the spot she doesn't like....it will continue until every server is dead and lifeless :P But thats why we have dave...so he can slowly do that and make i look like he had to.
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