Number 101!!!Oh shut up.
I can celebrate anything I want to.
So I had an early shift yesterday. Very early.
As you may have guessed, I'm not a morning person. If it happens before 11 am, I really don't give a damn.
Since it was still quite a few hours until NA primetime, I had plenty of time to get some paperwork done.
This, of course, meant that I was asleep at my desk.
At 6 am, your problems don't exist to me.
They really don't.
I don't care if someone is selling gil on top of your MPKed corpse while someone else is stealing your King Behemoth.
If it's 6 am in the morning, you can kiss my ass.
Unfortunately, I had forgotten to turn off my speakers earlier.
Hey! A GM call! At 6am!
I apparently haven't fed enough people to dragons if someone feels the need to bother me this early.
What the hell could anyone want this early?
GM Call Description: JP player warp 2'ed me.
HOLY SHIT! An NA player is having a problem with a JP player!
OH CHRIST!!! Water is wet!!!
Listen. No one hates you because you're from North America.
They hate you because you're an idiot.
I don't think I'd call that a cultural difference.
But someone has made the mistake of bothering me at 6 am.
This cannot be tolerated.
[GM]Dave>> Hail, Adventurer.
[GM]Dave>> Apparently, you do not understand time.
Player>> I think you have the wrong guy.
[GM]Dave>> You'd better hope so.
[GM]Dave>> Let's play a game shall we?
[GM]Dave>> What time is it?
Player>> You mean here?
[GM]Dave>> No. What's the time in Sweden?
[GM]Dave>> Of course I mean there, you retard.
Player>> ... uhh...
Player>> It's 6 am.
[GM]Dave>> Wow. Same here.
[GM]Dave>> And 6 am is in the...
[GM]Dave>> Correct. Good job.
[GM]Dave>> Last question.
[GM]Dave>> Don't tempt me.
[GM]Dave>> And at 6 am, you should be...
[GM]Dave>> Oh, I'm sorry.
[GM]Dave>> That's incorrect.
[GM]Dave>> Yeah. The correct answer was...
[GM]Dave>> NOT FREAKING CALLING ME!!!
[GM]Dave>> What the hell do you want?
Player>> ... Uhh... This JP player...
Player>> ... He warp 2'ed me and...
[GM]Dave>> Hey! Great story!
[GM]Dave>> I wonder who'll play you in the movie.
Player>> This is serious.
[GM]Dave>> Nothing is serious at 6 am.
Player>> They kicked me out of a party without telling me.
Player>> And then the Black Mage warp 2'ed me.
[GM]Dave>> Sucks to be you.
[GM]Dave>> Can I help you with anything else today?
Player>> It's not fair.
[GM]Dave>> I'm going to regret asking this.
[GM]Dave>> Why'd they boot you?
Player>> I don't know.
Player>> I was just doing my job and meleeing the mob.
[GM]Dave>> That's it?
Player>> Well... I was back-up healing, too.
[GM]Dave>> ... Back-up healing?
Player>> Yeah. I'm a Red Mage.
[GM]Dave>> You're a Red Mage...
[GM]Dave>> And you were meleeing.
Player>> Now, isn't it wrong that they booted me?
[GM]Dave>> Hell yeah it is.
Player>> Damn right.
[GM]Dave>> I'd have killed you, personally.
[GM]Dave>> I guess they couldn't be bothered to kill you.
[GM]Dave>> That's the problem with today's youth.
[GM]Dave>> No work ethic.
Player>> Are you kidding?!
[GM]Dave>> Do I sound like I'm kidding?
Player>> This is ridiculous.
Player>> They should be suspended.
[GM]Dave>> Let me get right on that.
[GM]Dave>> Right after I cure cancer.
Player>> You've got to do something.
[GM]Dave>> I am doing something.
[GM]Dave>> I'm deleting your content IDs.
[GM]Dave>> You woke me up.
[GM]Dave>> Also, I'm bored.
Player>> You can't do that!!!
Player>> I'm a customer!
[GM]Dave>> You're a meleeing Red Mage.
[GM]Dave>> You no longer have any rights.
Player>> You can't just delete my character!
Player>> YOU CAN'T!!!
[GM]Dave>> Are you sure?
[GM]Dave>> Cause this Delete button disagrees.
[GM]Dave>> Let's see who's right, shall we?
[GM]Dave>> Still there?
Your tell could not be received. The player may have changed areas or may have been banned from the game and is now re-evaluating their life while crying like a little girl with a scraped knee.
[GM]Dave>> Looks like the Delete button was right.
[GM]Dave>> I love that button.
Everyone do me a favor, okay?
If it's earlier than 11 am, we're going to pretend that the GM call menu doesn't exist.
It'll be fun.
Also, I won't be forced to destroy you.