Sunday, July 09, 2006

Number 101!!!

Oh shut up.

I can celebrate anything I want to.

So I had an early shift yesterday. Very early.

As you may have guessed, I'm not a morning person. If it happens before 11 am, I really don't give a damn.

Since it was still quite a few hours until NA primetime, I had plenty of time to get some paperwork done.

This, of course, meant that I was asleep at my desk.

What?

At 6 am, your problems don't exist to me.

They really don't.

I don't care if someone is selling gil on top of your MPKed corpse while someone else is stealing your King Behemoth.

If it's 6 am in the morning, you can kiss my ass.

Unfortunately, I had forgotten to turn off my speakers earlier.

*DING*

Hey! A GM call! At 6am!

I apparently haven't fed enough people to dragons if someone feels the need to bother me this early.

What the hell could anyone want this early?

GM Call Description: JP player warp 2'ed me.

HOLY SHIT! An NA player is having a problem with a JP player!

OH CHRIST!!! Water is wet!!!

Listen. No one hates you because you're from North America.

They hate you because you're an idiot.

I don't think I'd call that a cultural difference.

But someone has made the mistake of bothering me at 6 am.

This cannot be tolerated.

[GM]Dave>> Hail, Adventurer.
[GM]Dave>> Apparently, you do not understand time.
Player>> I think you have the wrong guy.
[GM]Dave>> You'd better hope so.
[GM]Dave>> Let's play a game shall we?
Player>> Sure.
[GM]Dave>> What time is it?
Player>> You mean here?
[GM]Dave>> No. What's the time in Sweden?
[GM]Dave>> Of course I mean there, you retard.
Player>> ... uhh...
Player>> It's 6 am.
[GM]Dave>> Wow. Same here.
[GM]Dave>> And 6 am is in the...
Player>> Morning?
[GM]Dave>> Correct. Good job.
[GM]Dave>> Last question.
Player>> Shoot.
[GM]Dave>> Don't tempt me.
Player>> What?
[GM]Dave>> Nevermind.
[GM]Dave>> And at 6 am, you should be...
Player>> Sleeping?
[GM]Dave>> Oh, I'm sorry.
[GM]Dave>> That's incorrect.
Player>> Really?
[GM]Dave>> Yeah. The correct answer was...
[GM]Dave>> NOT FREAKING CALLING ME!!!
[GM]Dave>> What the hell do you want?
Player>> ... Uhh... This JP player...
Player>> ... He warp 2'ed me and...
[GM]Dave>> Hey! Great story!
[GM]Dave>> I wonder who'll play you in the movie.
Player>> This is serious.
[GM]Dave>> Nothing is serious at 6 am.
Player>> They kicked me out of a party without telling me.
Player>> And then the Black Mage warp 2'ed me.
[GM]Dave>> Sucks to be you.
[GM]Dave>> Can I help you with anything else today?
Player>> It's not fair.
[GM]Dave>> Sigh.
[GM]Dave>> I'm going to regret asking this.
[GM]Dave>> Why'd they boot you?
Player>> I don't know.
Player>> I was just doing my job and meleeing the mob.
[GM]Dave>> That's it?
Player>> Well... I was back-up healing, too.
[GM]Dave>> ... Back-up healing?
Player>> Yeah. I'm a Red Mage.
[GM]Dave>> You're a Red Mage...
[GM]Dave>> And you were meleeing.
Player>> Yeah.
Player>> Now, isn't it wrong that they booted me?
[GM]Dave>> Hell yeah it is.
Player>> Damn right.
[GM]Dave>> I'd have killed you, personally.
Player>> What?
[GM]Dave>> I guess they couldn't be bothered to kill you.
[GM]Dave>> That's the problem with today's youth.
[GM]Dave>> No work ethic.
Player>> Are you kidding?!
[GM]Dave>> Do I sound like I'm kidding?
Player>> This is ridiculous.
Player>> They should be suspended.
[GM]Dave>> Let me get right on that.
[GM]Dave>> Right after I cure cancer.
Player>> You've got to do something.
[GM]Dave>> I am doing something.
[GM]Dave>> I'm deleting your content IDs.
Player>> WHAT?!
Player>> WHY?!
[GM]Dave>> You woke me up.
[GM]Dave>> Also, I'm bored.
Player>> You can't do that!!!
Player>> I'm a customer!
[GM]Dave>> You're a meleeing Red Mage.
[GM]Dave>> You no longer have any rights.
Player>> You can't just delete my character!
Player>> YOU CAN'T!!!
[GM]Dave>> Are you sure?
[GM]Dave>> Cause this Delete button disagrees.
[GM]Dave>> Let's see who's right, shall we?

*click*

[GM]Dave>> Still there?

Your tell could not be received. The player may have changed areas or may have been banned from the game and is now re-evaluating their life while crying like a little girl with a scraped knee.

[GM]Dave>> Looks like the Delete button was right.
[GM]Dave>> I love that button.

Everyone do me a favor, okay?

If it's earlier than 11 am, we're going to pretend that the GM call menu doesn't exist.

It'll be fun.

Also, I won't be forced to destroy you.

40 Comments:

At 8:16 PM, Blogger Jeff said...

If it's 6 am in the morning, you can kiss my ass.

...as opposed to, say, 6 am in the evening?

 
At 8:16 PM, Blogger creature124 said...

HOLY SHIT! An NA player is having a problem with a JP player!

OH CHRIST!!! Water is wet!!!


rofl, ive had my share of troubles due to the language barrier...the auto-translate is fun though, i like torturing people with it.

 
At 8:17 PM, Blogger freezinglimbo said...

I don't care if someone is selling gil on top of your MPKed corpse while someone else is stealing your King Behemoth.

I would love to see the retalitory strike this causes at 11:01

 
At 8:35 PM, Blogger Knyte said...

Player>> They kicked me out of a party without telling me.
Player>> And then the Black Mage warp 2'ed me.


ummmmm, as far as i know you can only warp a party member, not non party members....switch the two events around....

dont feed me to a Jormy, i have been talking to Ouryu and we have dinner together at the end of the week (read: he is getting a free mithra steak)

 
At 9:15 PM, Blogger Texgnome1 said...

[GM]Dave>> Last question.
Player>> Shoot.
[GM]Dave>> Don't tempt me.

Hehe - this line got me. Good one Dave.

 
At 9:20 PM, Blogger Myloko said...

Anyone awake before 12pm needs to be shot personally ._.

 
At 9:40 PM, Blogger Erufailon said...

Player>> I'm a customer!
[GM]Dave>> You're a meleeing Red Mage.
[GM]Dave>> You no longer have any rights.


This, this is so true. I hate those bastards, thank you for ridding the world (read: the only world that matters) of a complete moron

 
At 9:56 PM, Blogger InuDuelist said...

I hate mornings.

 
At 12:23 AM, Blogger Rogue said...

bwahahaha what a duck!! omg i cant wait to hear the stories from hades xD i can only imagine the crazyness you get from there xD

 
At 12:30 AM, Blogger notkesirahonest said...

Well, i'm on my 5th day now with a little red GM call flashing in the top right of my screen... if only I had a clue why it was there. Atm i'd welcome being eaten if it got rid of the damned annoying thing. Apparently though, Europeans don't exsist, which would explain alot...

Nothing ever happens on Seraph ; ;

 
At 1:36 AM, Blogger Solid Squid said...

Hey, maybe the kid'll actually get some sleep and go outside for once now. In fact you probably did him a favour here in terms of his personal health, he'll actually live into his 50s. Possibly

 
At 1:59 AM, Blogger Keilyn said...

Wow. First of all, sending a call at a time which it should be illegal to send calls at....even if you do work evening or night shift. Then, not even having a legitimate problem seeing as how you can get kicked out of a party. Boo hoo. Finally, meleeing......as a red mage. I don't play FF11. I've only watched, but I have played Eqoa,Galaxies,Eq,Eq2, and finally WoW. That's ridiculous. Someone slap a mage who tries to melee.

Fantastic work as always [GM]Dave!

 
At 5:07 AM, Blogger Sakurafire said...

Haha. On a funny note a JP Player that I passed lead to to invite some other JP player kicked me out of my own party and had the gall to /tell me "JP ONRY"... I hate JP players. Espcially their players that have that "i can appear exactly where the NM is right before it pops" program.

Never camping Jack ever again. ^_^

 
At 8:23 AM, Blogger Havok said...

awsomness. delete button that is so great.

 
At 8:31 AM, Blogger Artiamus said...

I'd have something witty to say here, but I'm too annoyed to try to come with something.

Okay, first off, rdms are designed to be able to melee at least a little bit, so long as it's not primary tanking. It's kinda why they have the En- spells, so they can tailor their dmg to the mob. Depending on your armor and weapons, you can be front line or back line. It's the jack-of-all-trades job for a reason after all.

Second, so what if it was 6am? My most active times to play are from 11pm to 8am when I don't have to work the next day. All the newb english speaking players are asleep by then.

 
At 8:34 AM, Blogger Artiamus said...

And on a side not, anyone who doesn't play a rdm and says they shouldn't melee, I have four words for you.
Shut. The. Hell. Up.

 
At 8:44 AM, Blogger S.T. said...

Dude, Artiamus, chill. First of all, after reading this blog, do you really think Dave is going to care about your little rant?

Second of all, no one cares about your whining. So, I have six words for you: Shut the HELL up now.

Thanks and have a nice day.

And Dave, your blog is awesome.

 
At 9:08 AM, Blogger Pragma said...

I have six words for you: Shut the HELL up now.

I lol'd.

 
At 9:44 AM, Blogger Niclamus said...

I play RDM. I have played RDM since the US release. RDM should not melee. Any noob who argues that and says "I'm a RDM do shit for damage and have shit for brains for trying to melee" err... sorry that is what it sounds like to us. Anyway any RDM that says "I can melee fine with the right gear... blah blah blah" needs to be shot. Their characters need to be banned, and then their computer needs to be wiped of any sign of FFXI.

RDM SHOULD NEVER MELEE IN A PARTY.

Now, RDM/NIN farming is all good. We friggen pwn SOLO as /NIN.

 
At 10:02 AM, Blogger nano said...

It's the curse of the Red Mage, we get B rated sword & dagger, enspells, phalanx, AF weapon? Sword of course, +parry and +shield on our AF armour, rdm only swords, yet melee is not an option.. huh?

It all evens out in Ballista though ^^

 
At 10:53 AM, Blogger Nu-Hir said...


If it's earlier than 11 am, we're going to pretend that the GM call menu doesn't exist.


Remember kiddies, it's always earlier than 11am somewhere!

 
At 10:58 AM, Blogger Newman said...

RDM SHOULD NEVER MELEE IN A PARTY.

It depends on the player. If, say, paying attention and multi-tasking are rather difficult for you, then ya, maybe you shouldn't try to melee. All that coordination stuff can bee real hard.

But, if you can do more that one thing at the same time, then melee is entirely plausable, after your main jobs are taken care of.

Remember, you're wanted for refreshing, debuffing, and playing catchup with the heals, maybe more depending on your sub. If you can handle everything else you're supposed to do, the feel free to melee. If not, stand the hell back and grab a knee.

 
At 11:37 AM, Blogger Dyamalos said...

I'm never awake before 12PM, it's always after 12AM,

 
At 12:17 PM, Blogger Knyte said...

"Keilyn said...
Wow. First of all, sending a call at a time which it should be illegal to send calls at....even if you do work evening or night shift. Then, not even having a legitimate problem seeing as how you can get kicked out of a party. Boo hoo. Finally, meleeing......as a red mage. I don't play FF11. I've only watched, but I have played Eqoa,Galaxies,Eq,Eq2, and finally WoW. That's ridiculous. Someone slap a mage who tries to melee."

if you never played FFXI, i wouldnt say something like that. makes you look like an ass.

right now in FFXI, we have Blue Mage. BLU is what the developers wanted rdm to be (atleast i think so), instead of a refresh whore. any dumbass that comes into a pt and tells me not to melee as a blu will get my virtual foot lodged up their virtual ass.

like someone said above, if a rdm can handle multi-tasking then by all means they can melee. every bit of dmg helps, they do have offensive self buffs btw.

oh and just to give you guys a few strokes and aneurysms: i meleed with my rdm during my trip through qufim.

rdm or brd melee'ing i dont have a problem with. a blm trying to DD uysing a scythe? that just drives me, god, jesus, holy mother mary, and everyone else in heaven and those in hell to heavy drinking.

im talking going passed piss drunk, through shit faced, and diving head first into hangover-sometime-next-month. and that blms name was: jisanders, on asura....im so ashamed.

 
At 12:32 PM, Blogger okccameron said...

If it's 6 am in the morning, you can kiss my ass.

...as opposed to, say, 6 am in the evening?

lol

 
At 1:51 PM, Blogger A.Fire.Inside said...

this is too daymn funny!!

 
At 2:54 PM, Blogger Julia said...

So, I have six words for you: Shut the HELL up now.

I swear to God, that line right there was funnier than the blog. Count much?

Although I think you were a bit harsh, [Gm]Dave ... not all meleeing Red Mages are crap.

Though I suppose we haven't always known you to be completely fair. :)

 
At 2:54 PM, Blogger Squirt said...

I don't understand your counting.

Reeree says there's nothing wrong with mages who melee. It's not like they'll be the only ones in the party who are retarded.

 
At 4:07 PM, Blogger Galkizzle said...

I'm currently at that "Please wait for a knock message from GM" screen. This is boring.. Note to self: Dont swear at GMs. I got pictures, though.

 
At 4:36 PM, Blogger Galkizzle said...

I'm banned again. Go read my blog to see it.

 
At 4:46 PM, Blogger Avrial said...

s.t. said,

I have six words for you: Shut the HELL up now.


I don't think anyone else noticed this, but that's only five words. That doesn't invalidate your point, but your kindergarten teacher might be a little pissed.

 
At 5:46 PM, Blogger hakker said...

Yea, why the hell would you use a + 5 to int + 5 to mind rod why you can have a sword that does 7 damage!? And above lvl 51, I mean seriously, elemental staves, who wants those when you can do 3 damage of the enemies over 10.000 damage!?

 
At 6:32 PM, Blogger S.T. said...

Heheh. Well, I guess I should have counted my words a little better. Can't help but laugh at yourself for a mistake like that. Oh well. At least it brought someone a laugh.

 
At 11:41 PM, Blogger Bugbby said...

Le sigh.

If you're 51+ and meleeing RDM you really ought to reconsider a job change. One, you'll be using elemental staves by then (at least, I PRAY to god for the sake of your party that you are) and that means you'll be using equipment macros to change your weapons. Which means no TP for joo. Which in turns means no Weaponskilling for joo. Which in turn means you'll be doing shitty damage any damn way you look at it. No, not every bit of damage helps. Especially a whole 14 damage for the rare times your sword happens to connect. Oh wait, you're using staves, sorry. 7 damage. With 5 from the en-effect. See that Monk on your party list? He's there for a reason.

Secondly, you're a red MAGE. Keyword being MAGE. You're not the red avenger or whatever the hell you pretend to be while wailing away with your stick at a crab. You have more roles in a party than nearly every other job out there. You get to haste, dispel, refresh, debuff, back up (and a lot of the time main heal). For those of you whining about this not being the way SE intended it, I'm sorry, but you're sorely mistaken. You have the spells for a reason. They're limited to your job for a reason. BECAUSE THAT'S THE WAY THEY WANT IT. When you play a job where the whole party depends on your skill at it, you better damn well not be wasting precious medding time by thinking your 2 damage helps in a battle. Go sit back, out of AoE range so 1) you're not getting hit by AoEs. 2) You're not sapping MP that could be used eslewear with your retarded enspells, phalanx, stoneskin, whatever shit, and sucking the MP of OTHERS in your party by getting hit my a nice Stonega 2.
3) Get your ass down on one knee or however your race meds. Your MP = How high you chain. Get it in your head. Your puller won't give a fuck if you have convert ready in 20 seconds if you only 10 MP left after chain 3. There goes your exp/hr.

Suck it up and get into the habit of being a backline job. You're on your way to end game, and you won't be doing meleeing shit then. A majority of RDM Parties 65+ are TP BURNS. Where guess what? Next to the BRD, you're the only mage there! So guess what else? You're the main HEALER. Not MELEE-ER.

GAH;jaksh*falls twitching*

 
At 6:31 AM, Blogger Inia said...

[GM]Dave>> You're a meleeing Red Mage.
[GM]Dave>> You no longer have any rights.


HAHAHA, YES!

But, if you can do more that one thing at the same time, then melee is entirely plausable, after your main jobs are taken care of.

No. You fail at RDM, end of story. I've observed you multi-tasking RDM melee types, and you all have one thing in common. You suck at RDM. So you cast all your debuffs and then got out your sword, eh?

2 swings and a miss, and [insert debuff here] wore off. Your TP is now gone as you have changed weapons to cast if you're not even more retarded than you seem.

Another 2 swings and a miss, and the real DDs could now use some cures. Back to 0 TP again, unless you further fail and don't bother to change to a Light Staff.

A RDM's "main jobs" never end, so there's never a time to melee in an exp party.

 
At 4:58 PM, Blogger Jagged said...

Lighter fluid, lighter fluid, lighter fluid.

[GM]Dave>> FIRAGA III!!!

I pretend not to notice Susan shaking her head as I throw the match.

lol amazing..so funny

 
At 7:40 PM, Blogger Fircefairy said...

LOL That was funny ^^ But in all honesty a RDM at Higher level IS a melee mage ^^

 
At 7:34 AM, Blogger Silverelf said...

Awww. I really like how you snucked that Melee RDM thing in.

I don't really care if you are a melee RDM. Why? Cos I'm RDM and if you are in party with me, I'll do my job and I don't care if you melee. If not, I simply won't be partying with them so problem doesn't exist either way.

On BLU being what the developers wanted RDM to be, well, of course I get ticked. I'm naturally territorial. I also tend to forget to refresh people swinging a sword uness they are PLD (I'm honest, not sarcastic).

 
At 12:09 PM, Blogger Jacebob said...

As a RDM70 who meleed from 10-70... it's not a freaking problem! >:( I'm not trying to be a flaming jackass, this was a great entry and I lol'd a lot... but stop dissing RDM meleeing >.>

I mean, yeah, they can't contribute very much. If we hit the mob more than 5 times we should be given an emmy for accuracy. But unless you're a horrible failure of a RDM, it shouldn't affect your ability to refresh, dispel, debuff, etc. Or if the mob has AOEs.

That's my 17 cents.

(Btw, great entry again Dave <3)

 
At 6:20 AM, Blogger Mythrender said...

Meleeing red mages?

Not in my back yard!

 

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