Monday, June 19, 2006

People Not Liking You =/= Discrimination

Why is it when something bad happens to someone else it's funny, but when it happens to you it's discrimination?

I'm sure you're very cool.

I bet all of the other guys in the A/V club think you're "leet".

But that doesn't mean that anyone not liking you must be discrimination.

Let's look at the definition of discrimination, shall we?

Discrimination (noun): The differential treatment of individuals considered to belong to particular groups or categories, usually related to race, religion, gender, or physical/mental disabilities.

Now, unless you are trying to argue that people calling you stupid falls under "mental disabilities", you can shut the hell up right now.

People are not discriminating against you when they don't invite you to parties.

People are not discriminating against you when they don't let you participate in events.

People are not discriminating against you when they don't respond to you.

They just don't like you.

And as awesome as you think you are, people are free to not like you.

I know it can be confusing. You are so incredibly cool (except replace the word "cool", with "the total opposite of cool") and yet they still don't like you.

Obviously, there must be something else wrong. Obviously, there must be some form of discrimination.

I mean, how could anyone not like you?

Trust me. It's not that hard.

Today, I was doing my usual routine. Craft, ignore GM call, craft, ignore GM call.

Whisky, ignore GM call.

Just as one of my synths finished, yet another GM call popped up.

I should really find a way to remove the entire GM call function. It would save me so much time.

But this one looked different.

GM Call Description: Player Discrimination. Please Investigate.

I was torn. I hate discrimination, but at the same time, my moron detector was lit up like a Christmas tree.

Sigh.

I really need to start drinking more.

[GM]Dave>> Hail, Adventurer.
[GM]Dave>> I understand you are being persecuted.
[GM]Dave>> Do you need help organizing a march?
Player>> No, I am being discriminated against.
[GM]Dave>> That's what persecuted means, genius.
Player>> You need to go ban them.
[GM]Dave>> Them who?
Player>> THEM.
Player>> The people who are discriminating me.
[GM]Dave>> It's like trying to talk to a wall.
Player>> What do u mean?
[GM]Dave>> Listen carefully.
[GM]Dave>> WHO
[GM]Dave>> IZ
[GM]Dave>> THEY?
Player>> It's a linkshell.
[GM]Dave>> A linkshell is discriminating against you?
Player>> Totally.
[GM]Dave>> And how exactly are they doing this?
Player>> They won't give me a pearl.
[GM]Dave>> ...
[GM]Dave>> They won't give you a pearl.
Player>> Yes.
[GM]Dave>> And you call this discrimination.
Player>> Yes.
[GM]Dave>> And you're obviously retarded.
Player>> Ye... HEY!
[GM]Dave>> I am oh so sorry for your oppression.
[GM]Dave>> I cannot imagine what you have endured.
Player>> It's unfair.
[GM]Dave>> Being retarded often is.
[GM]Dave>> You do get good parking spots though.
Player>> I mean them not giving me a pearl.
[GM]Dave>> So you're cool with being retarded?
[GM]Dave>> That's good.
Player>> I'm not retarded.
[GM]Dave>> That's it.
[GM]Dave>> Never give up.
Player>> Are you going to ban them or not?
[GM]Dave>> Let me review my manual.
[GM]Dave>> Hmmm...
[GM]Dave>> I'm leaning toward no here.
Player>> What do you mean no?
[GM]Dave>> It's just like yes. Only not.
[GM]Dave>> And it comes with a side order of kiss my ass.
Player>> But discrimination is against the ToS.
[GM]Dave>> Yes. Yes, it is.
[GM]Dave>> But people hating you for being stupid is not.
Player>> They're being elitist.
[GM]Dave>> Sigh.
[GM]Dave>> Fine, let me go talk to the leader.

Minutes pass...

[GM]Dave>> What a nice guy.
[GM]Dave>> Good news. We worked it out.
Player>> They're giving me a pearl?
[GM]Dave>> No. You're still retarded.
[GM]Dave>> But they did give me a pearl.
Player>> WHAT?!
[GM]Dave>> Isn't it a lovely shade of blue?
Player>> THIS IS RIDICULOUS!
[GM]Dave>> Hold on a second.
[GM]Dave>> Chatting in my LS.
Player>> SONUVABITCH!
[GM]Dave>> This player I'm talking to is a total retard.
[GM]Dave>> mt
Player>> GODDAMNED GMS!
[GM]Dave>> Uh oh.
[GM]Dave>> I'm sorry. That comment qualifies as discrimination.
[GM]Dave>> I'm afraid I have to suspend you now.
Player>> ARE YOU $#%^ING SERIOUS?
[GM]Dave>> Well, by "suspend", I actually mean "ban".
[GM]Dave>> But you get the gist.
Player>> YOU'RE BANNING ME?!
[GM]Dave>> My hands are tied. I'd help you out...
[GM]Dave>> But I already filed a complaint.
[GM]Dave>> And we take all complaints like this seriously.
Player>> BUT YOU FILED THE COMPLAINT!
[GM]Dave>> Yeah.
[GM]Dave>> Tough call.
Player>> I WANT TO FILE A COMPLAINT!
[GM]Dave>> Were you offended by your comments, too?
[GM]Dave>> I'll make a note on your file.
Player>> AGAINST YOU!
[GM]Dave>> I don't know what good that will do.
[GM]Dave>> Apparently, two people have complained about you.
Player>> @%^#$%#$&%^@!*%^&*
[GM]Dave>> I can transfer you to our complaints manager.

*GLEE*

Player>> YES. RIGHT AWAY.
Player>> THEY'RE GOING TO EAT YOU ALIVE.
[GM]Dave>> Are you a fan of irony?

*warp*

Player>> Oh crap.

Jormungand hits Player for 15,293 points of damage.
Player was defeated by Jormungand.

[GM]Dave>> Haha. That retard just got killed.
[GM]Dave>> Dammit. mt

Listen. Everyone has the right to not like you.

They don't have to include you. No matter what your mom says.

Please stop saying discrimination.

If you do not, I cannot be held responsible for my actions.

Seriously. I just delete the logs when I'm done, so they really can't hold me responsible.

And remember, dragons never discriminate.

56 Comments:

At 1:07 PM, Blogger Loki said...

Priceless, just priceless. Unfortunately, it does remind me of some players I've run across.

 
At 1:11 PM, Blogger IfritsNuts said...

Hahahaha. Awesome entry. Some people just don't understand how retarded they actually are. Keep up the good work!

 
At 1:20 PM, Blogger Nightflower said...

You are a truely wonderful [GM].
I can only hope that if I ever need to file a call, you are there to give the moron I would need help with this same treatment.

 
At 1:22 PM, Blogger Sebb said...

Haha ^^

That was better than sex.

I think.

Well only one way I can find out.

...................

No, this is better.

 
At 1:42 PM, Blogger Keilyn said...

Dictionary.....I don't think some people have ever heard of this tool. You open it up or go online and type in the word/look it up and there.....right there on the page is a definition. Wonders will never cease! Who knew? lol

Good work as always [GM]Dave.

 
At 1:45 PM, Blogger freezinglimbo said...

Ah i have so missed the "would you like me to refer you to the complaints department."

Player>> It's unfair.
[GM]Dave>> Being retarded often is.
[GM]Dave>> You do get good parking spots though.


Always a a favorite as well.

 
At 1:50 PM, Blogger samuraiking said...

Very humorous posts, i've laughed at almost everyone of them.

Keep answering ignorant GM calls so we can all hear your stories, may patience be with you. XD

 
At 1:51 PM, Blogger Kumaren said...

[GM]Dave>> I can transfer you to our complaints manager.

*GLEE*

Player>> YES. RIGHT AWAY.
Player>> THEY'RE GOING TO EAT YOU ALIVE.
[GM]Dave>> Are you a fan of irony?

*warp*

Player>> Oh crap.

Jormungand hits Player for 15,293 points of damage.
Player was defeated by Jormungand.

[GM]Dave>> Haha. That retard just got killed.
[GM]Dave>> Dammit. mt

rofl

 
At 1:53 PM, Blogger Ryuusuke said...

great just great players like that really make me mad

 
At 3:00 PM, Blogger Tsuki said...

[GM]Dave>> Haha. That retard just got killed.
[GM]Dave>> Dammit. mt

lmao.

 
At 3:11 PM, Blogger Galkizzle said...

Dave, what race are you? (In FFXI, not real life) I'm a galka:)

Now go read my blog, slaves.

 
At 3:26 PM, Blogger Rathanel said...

GM]Dave>> What a nice guy.
[GM]Dave>> Good news. We worked it out.
Player>> They're giving me a pearl?
[GM]Dave>> No. You're still retarded.
[GM]Dave>> But they did give me a pearl.
Player>> WHAT?!
[GM]Dave>> Isn't it a lovely shade of blue?
Player>> THIS IS RIDICULOUS!
[GM]Dave>> Hold on a second.
[GM]Dave>> Chatting in my LS.
Player>> SONUVABITCH!
[GM]Dave>> This player I'm talking to is a total retard.
[GM]Dave>> mt

You, sir, are a genius.

*proceeds to die laughing*

 
At 3:38 PM, Blogger Hawklord2112 said...

Player>> What do you mean no?
[GM]Dave>> It's just like yes. Only not.


*pmsl*

 
At 3:52 PM, Blogger currentlypresent said...

"Player>> YES. RIGHT AWAY.
Player>> THEY'RE GOING TO EAT YOU ALIVE.
[GM]Dave>> Are you a fan of irony?"

You win.
The end.

 
At 3:52 PM, Blogger faker said...

I want to see the name of this player, or does he/she even exist, Dave? Or is it another ignorant post, so that the ignorant fools can once again believe that you are real.

 
At 3:57 PM, Blogger Onionsoilder said...

Dave, what race are you? (In FFXI, not real life) I'm a galka:)

He's an elvann. The only evlann GM, as a matter of fact. All the rest are hume...

 
At 4:08 PM, Blogger Kieko said...

Haha! Great as always!

 
At 4:08 PM, Blogger Kieko said...

Haha! Great as always!

 
At 4:08 PM, Blogger Kieko said...

Haha! Great as always!

 
At 4:58 PM, Blogger Knyte said...

im gonna guess the player's name was smokeone......but i guess i could be wrong.

faker, seriously, just gtfo and take your other accounts with you.

 
At 4:59 PM, Blogger Knyte said...

forgot,

[GM]Dave>> I can transfer you to our complaints manager.

*GLEE*

Player>> YES. RIGHT AWAY.
Player>> THEY'RE GOING TO EAT YOU ALIVE.
[GM]Dave>> Are you a fan of irony?

*warp*

Player>> Oh crap.

Jormungand hits Player for 15,293 points of damage.
Player was defeated by Jormungand.

[GM]Dave>> Haha. That retard just got killed.
[GM]Dave>> Dammit. mt

XD

*leaves to change underwear*

 
At 6:15 PM, Blogger ColdhartedRagnarok said...

[GM]Dave>> Hold on a second.
[GM]Dave>> Chatting in my LS.
Player>> SONUVABITCH!
[GM]Dave>> This player I'm talking to is a total retard.
[GM]Dave>> mt
Player>> GODDAMNED GMS!
[GM]Dave>> Uh oh.
[GM]Dave>> I'm sorry. That comment qualifies as discrimination.
[GM]Dave>> I'm afraid I have to suspend you now.



LMAO!

 
At 6:26 PM, Blogger CaesarsGhost said...

I'd like to add "If you send a developer or GM a PM on the Forums or ingame, you're open to attack. Use the official system, doing it the leisurely way means you're going to get attacked.

 
At 6:29 PM, Blogger rye said...

Player>> What do you mean no?
[GM]Dave>> It's just like yes. Only not.

I died, haha.

 
At 6:45 PM, Blogger Raven said...

At 3:52 PM, faker said...

I want to see the name of this player, or does he/she even exist, Dave? Or is it another ignorant post, so that the ignorant fools can once again believe that you are real.

You fail at life.

[GM]Dave never uses his, or the players real name because it would cause problems for people. Its also being considerate to what little respect the player has left after becoming dragon chow.

Great post as usual Dave. Keep up the good work and don't let people like Faker bother you. They are just jealous that they are suck so bad.

Screenname - Maura
Server - Fairy

 
At 7:48 PM, Blogger faker said...

At 3:52 PM, faker said...

I want to see the name of this player, or does he/she even exist, Dave? Or is it another ignorant post, so that the ignorant fools can once again believe that you are real.

You fail at life.

[GM]Dave never uses his, or the players real name because it would cause problems for people. Its also being considerate to what little respect the player has left after becoming dragon chow.

Great post as usual Dave. Keep up the good work and don't let people like Faker bother you. They are just jealous that they are suck so bad.

Screenname - Maura
Server - Fairy
-
im gonna guess the player's name was smokeone......but i guess i could be wrong.

faker, seriously, just gtfo and take your other accounts with you.
-
Seems you don't read his trash posts much, as you would know, at times, he uses players names, which for the most part, people recognize.

Also, "They are just jealous that they are suck so bad." makes entirely no sense, so I say that you fail at life, and need to go back to school to learn to construct a literate sentence.

Me getting out? I think not. Until you arrogant people come up with something good, and that doesn't look like it will be happening anytime soon, [GM]DAVE will get my attention.

 
At 8:01 PM, Blogger Galkizzle said...

Faker said...
Seems you don't read his trash posts much, as you would know, at times, he uses players names, which for the most part, people recognize.
-
Faker.. It seems YOU don't read his posts, because if you haven't caught on, when he uses a name, it's just the name of the person who donated the most money. Remember? He said they will be in a story?


Dumbass.

 
At 8:12 PM, Blogger Kirip-san said...

Faker.

There's a button in the upper right corner that's marked "Kiss My Ass".

You don't HAVE to read it.

And you fail at life at trolling a blog.

 
At 8:12 PM, Blogger Kirip-san said...

And keep up the good work, Dave.

 
At 9:00 PM, Blogger Deria said...

Bravo. You hit on one of my pet peeves this posting. I very much enjoyed it. Thanks again.

 
At 9:14 PM, Blogger DeaconBlue said...

"I really need to start drinking more."

ya cant let them reports stack up on ya.


to faker*
you fail at life

dont read the blog if it makes you unhappy :/

 
At 10:20 PM, Blogger Dantaro said...

Hehe, a fun read as always.

You know, I'd give faker my attention, but that would just be fueling the fire. I figure the sooner we all start ignoring people like them the sooner they will give up and go away.

Cause really, I'm just here for [GM]Dave.

 
At 11:16 PM, Blogger Cyrex said...

" Dave, what race are you? (In FFXI, not real life) I'm a galka:)"


He's prob elvaan, his arrogant blog entries look like it

(note: im also elvaan >.>)

 
At 11:19 PM, Blogger faker said...

I also found it funny that the prepubescent prick dislikes the use of abbreviations, or internet lingo(IE:LOL), yet proposes the use of mt, which in itself stands for something. Time to give it up fool. On a daily basis you contradict your stories.

 
At 11:50 PM, Blogger banshee46 said...

Faker.

A) [GM]Dave has often used "internet speak" while making fun of idiots.

B) Does it really matter if his stories are made up? Who cares if he's a real GM or not?

C) Your attention whoring is really pathtic.

D) Just because I'm pathetic for making an account just to post this, does not mean you are any less pathetic.

 
At 12:53 AM, Blogger Daniel of Remora said...

Faker,

You're completely missing the point. We know he isn't a GM. I don't come here to read how some psycho would ban me for doing the smallest thing wrong. I come here for laughs, just like everyone else.

Seriously, you do fail.

Die in a fire.

 
At 1:38 AM, Blogger maathimself said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 2:15 AM, Blogger Orien said...

are you a fan of irony?

hehe geez

 
At 2:20 AM, Blogger Orien said...

and faker.. grow up

 
At 3:26 AM, Blogger Aeriel said...

"[GM]Dave>> Haha. That retard just got killed.
[GM]Dave>> Dammit. mt"

haha dave nice love that :)

You so fail at life faker in every possible way. And just incase the comment is deleted from your blog here it is:

What a sad little being you are.
If you are male i'm sure my favourite film line in history applies to you.

"You are in more dire need of a blowjob than any other whiteman in history" - Robin William (read: God!)

Dave is funny fullstop i could't give a flying fuck if he's real or not and neither do any of his fans, or the players of FFXI.

 
At 4:37 AM, Blogger [GM]Dave said...

*ahem*

Faker,

This is the only reply you'll get from me, as it is quite obvious the only thing you are after is attention.

I really don't care if you like the blog or not. I don't even have to point out the stupidity of your posts because everyone here has already done so.

The truth of the matter is, you can't really do anything. I could delete your posts with a couple of clicks, but I'm going to leave them there just so you can see what little effect your ranting has.

So, feel free to post whatever comments you like. It's funny to watch someone make a fool of themselves.

Just remember that no matter what you write, it still has no impact on anyone.

Do you know the only thing worse than rage? Impotent rage.

Think about it.

 
At 5:33 AM, Blogger BuzZ said...

Owned.



--> I would like to express my hate for people who copy+paste nearly half of a blog post into their comments.

We've read it already and it is fresh in our minds. Keep it limited to a few lines -_-

 
At 5:48 AM, Blogger Ten said...

Ignore Faker. He's just trying to be an attention whore. By the way, I am a fan of irony and that was just priceless.

 
At 7:21 AM, Blogger Rathanel said...

*shrug*

14 lines of text hardly qualifies as half the post. I believe most people would consider it highlighting your favorite part... just happens in this case that my favorite part consists of more than just a one-liner.

And also, people coming to read comments since their last time here probably won't read the blog entry again, so it will not, in fact, be "fresh in their minds".

 
At 7:42 AM, Blogger Galkizzle said...

So.. Dave.. are you an Elvaan?

 
At 8:16 AM, Blogger klvino said...

Wait.... did that galka just try to hit on Dave?

 
At 8:19 AM, Blogger ColdhartedRagnarok said...

obviously the stories our fake, if you think for one minute any gm could get away with this you are an idiot.

Dave is a funny guy, and an excellent writer, and as far as the real player's names, those are the people who donated the most to him, he said he would include them in the blog.

 
At 9:09 AM, Blogger King Vee II said...

Well then, I must admit your exploits are legendary. It seems to me you've surpassed Chuck Norris status to the morons of World of Warcraft. I salute you sir. I must shamefully admit that I do not play FF11, not because I don't have the time, but because I'm too cheap to purchase it. I'll get around to it though. And hopefully I'll be there to witness one of your greater moments in the degrading of inbred retards.

From opinions I've heard from my so called "friends" (Amazingly they DO exist outside of the world of online games.) You're worse than me. Intrepret this however you wish, I really have no feelings towards you. But I do believe you have a rival for the asshole of the year award. May the best dick win.

 
At 9:23 AM, Blogger Bellemithra said...

OMG!!!
"[GM]Dave>> It's just like yes. Only not.
[GM]Dave>> And it comes with a side order of kiss my ass."

I almost died right there!

 
At 9:50 AM, Blogger Tycooner said...

Another very enjoyable read with my morning coffe. You are quite the expressionist in your writing and I look forward to your daily entries. They start my day with what I feel everyone should start a day with " A Smile".

And for the other not so enjoyable and lame commenters and critics.

You know ...there is an old saying that goes like this "you're a pain in the ass"

When you tell me I'm a pain in the ass just remember this.

I'm only a pain in the ass because it's the shortest route to your brains.

Keep the laughs coming Dave. Great writing.

 
At 10:32 AM, Blogger LittleDramaBoy said...

faker said:
"Also, 'They are just jealous that they are suck so bad.' makes entirely no sense, so I say that you fail at life, and need to go back to school to learn to construct a literate sentence.

Me getting out? I think not. Until you arrogant people come up with something good, and that doesn't look like it will be happening anytime soon, [GM]DAVE will get my attention."

Your composition skills could use some polishing up as well, Mr. Faker. Grammar is fine, but your use of the comma is almost scary. I suggest reading up on rule #5 here: http://www.drgrammar.org/faqs/#26.

As for the "Me getting out?" line, you might want to revise it to two different sentences to convey your meaning correctly. "Me? Get out?"

The next line leaves much to be examined since your context jumps around a bit too much. A suggestion is the use of parantheses: "Until you arrogant people [can] come up with something good (and that doesn't look like it will be happening soon), [GM]DAVE will get my attention."

My critique is for composition and ease of reading. Grammar rules are fine, but overusing them can cause most readers to lose grasp of what you're saying. I could go on, but now I'm getting bored. And hungry. Mainly hungry.

~Dramanue de la Rosa Negra

 
At 11:01 AM, Blogger Sebb said...

In regards to Dave's race.

I would have to say a Sadistic TaruTaru.

I can just see the manic, helium like laughter as he bans retards.

God Bless [GM]Dave.

Oh yeah Dave, dinner at mine tomorrow.
6PM sharp.
Dont be late like last time.

-------fadeout----------

 
At 1:23 PM, Blogger Cyrex said...

"klvino said...

Wait.... did that galka just try to hit on Dave? "


it was cause i pointed out that his attitude was like most elvaans >.>

(im still an elvaan)

 
At 6:33 PM, Blogger Shayde said...

My husband e-mailed me this post at work. I almost keeled over from oxygen deprivation -- laughing waaaaay too hard & trying to stifle it so as not to disturb my supervisor...

Player>> Are you going to ban them or not?
[GM]Dave>> Let me review my manual.
[GM]Dave>> Hmmm...
[GM]Dave>> I'm leaning toward no here.
Player>> What do you mean no?
[GM]Dave>> It's just like yes. Only not.

I've already started using "it's just like yes, only not" at work. If you would like me to discontinue the practice, I will be happy to do so (as far as you know).

This may be your best [GM]Dave post yet. It's a close battle with the fishing bot post, but this may have surpassed that one by a whisker.

 
At 7:38 AM, Blogger K-1 said...

[GM]Dave>> A linkshell is discriminating against you?
Player>> Totally.
[GM]Dave>> And how exactly are they doing this?
Player>> They won't give me a pearl.

...

Did Smokeone (Asura) got rejected from another HNMLS?

 
At 6:21 PM, Blogger GMdavisISfake said...

ok first of all.....FUCK ALL YOU CUNTS

ok...you guys are cunts...stop sucking up to [GM] imnotreal and go fuck a hoe

ok u guys are pathetic

get laid

holy shit i hate all of you

omg

friggin nerds

so if you guys believe dave then u obviosly still believe in santa clause.....am i right? duh

ok bye [GM] Dave!!
keep up gthe good work!!

 

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