Thursday, June 15, 2006

[GM]Dave Gets Some

Now, you may think my life revolves around FFXI.

Well... you'd be right.

But I do make time for the love of my life, my beautiful girlfriend...


Hold on. I remember her name.


I know she plays a Mithra.



I think.

Anyway, yesterday evening we decided to log out of our characters and have some "us time".

And by "us time" I mean "naked time".


Now, this was a major event. Not only because I am so damned good, but also because we actually logged out of our characters.

During peak time.

That's love.

[GM]Dave>> Pulling!!! ----> Shirt! <>
[GM]Dave>> Heading back to camp.
Susan>> Ready here.
Susan>> (( Ready to Start Skillchain! ))
Susan>> (( Can I have it? ))
[GM]Dave>> Oh, yeah, baby.
[GM]Dave>> (( Turn your party flag on. ))
Susan>> Oh damn.
Susan>> Hold on a second.

Suddenly, she jumps up and runs out of the room.

[GM]Dave>> Uhh... what the hell?
[GM]Dave>> (( I want experience points. ))
Susan>> Hold on, hold on.
Susan>> I'll only be a minute.


About five minutes later, she runs back in and hops on the bed.

[GM]Dave>> About damned time.
[GM]Dave>> Where were you?
Susan>> Nevermind.
Susan>> Let's get back to where we were.
[GM]Dave>> ... You convinced me.
Susan>> That was really hard.
[GM]Dave>> You're the one who ran out.
[GM]Dave>> Give me a minute.

Things started to heat up again, but then she jumped up and left the room.


[GM]Dave>> This isn't funny.
[GM]Dave>> What the hell are you doing?
Susan>> Don't worry about it.
[GM]Dave>> I'm not worried about it.
[GM]Dave>> I just don't want to start without you.
Susan>> How romantic.
[GM]Dave>> That's me, baby. Mr. Romantic.
[GM]Dave>> Now get your ass back in here.

She finally runs back in and practically tackles me.

This is more like it.

I'm just getting ready to equip the old "Ban Stick", when she runs out AGAIN!!!

[GM]Dave>> What are you doing?
Susan>> Nothing.
Susan>> I'll be right there.
[GM]Dave>> Well, why don't you come back.
[GM]Dave>> We can do something.
[GM]Dave>> Something is better than nothing.
Susan>> Give me one more second.
[GM]Dave>> Hurry up.
Susan>> I'm coming, I'm coming.
[GM]Dave>> Well, that was quick.
Susan>> Ha Ha.

I'm just starting to get really pissed, when she comes back in through the door.

This time she doesn't even make it as far as the bed. She walks in and then turns and dashs back out the door.

Susan>> Sozu Rogberry is going to spawn soon.
Susan>> I really want that Knife.
Susan>> I'll only be a second, you big baby.
Susan>> Control yourself.
[GM]Dave>> Did you forget to take your medication?
Susan>> Well, aren't we funny?
[GM]Dave>> It's not like I have anything better to do.
Susan>> I'll be right there!

I couldn't believe this bullshit. Leaving me in the middle of "us time" to camp for a stupid Knife.

That's just plain damned ridiculous.

Susan>> Are you really mad?
[GM]Dave>> YES, I'M MAD!
Susan>> I'm sorry, honey.
Susan>> It's okay. I'll logout.
[GM]Dave>> Don't bother.
[GM]Dave>> I don't care anymore.
Susan>> I said I was sorry.
[GM]Dave>> You're ignoring me for a game!
[GM]Dave>> I should be more important!
Susan>> You are, you are.
Susan>> I'm really sorry.
[GM]Dave>> Fine. Whatever.
Susan>> Do you really forgive me?
[GM]Dave>> Yeah, I guess.
Susan>> So...
Susan>> Can we pick up where we left off?
[GM]Dave>> Okay.
Susan>> Good.
[GM]Dave>> But can we hurry this up?
[GM]Dave>> I've got Dynamis in like 5 minutes.


At 4:22 AM, Blogger Excessivedamage said...

Post Virginity. blah, blah, blah.

I've really enjoying the RL angle Dave, keep it up!

At 4:34 AM, Blogger CaesarsGhost said...

Yeah... damn women are always getting between me and my games.

At 4:41 AM, Blogger Arwenne said...

That was awesome! :D I can't stop laughing... and I'm at work... help... :D

At 5:30 AM, Blogger Inia said...

My co-workers will again verify my lack of sanity with the hysterical giggles coming from my desk.

My RL! bf and I play together, amid jokes from ls members about the dumbo ears our children would have (he's Elvaan, I am a penis-free Mithra).

"Is the coffee ready?" and "What day is it?" are my morning greetings to him^^

At 5:42 AM, Blogger Bellemithra said...

OMG!!!!!!!!!!! I am hysterical laughing!!!! Me and my fiance play together, so I can totally relate.

At 6:31 AM, Blogger Ten said...

Feed her to the dragon! That will teach her.

At 6:50 AM, Blogger Thistle said...

No, no Ten. He should let her eat "the dragon"~


At 7:22 AM, Blogger LittleDramaBoy said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 7:22 AM, Blogger LittleDramaBoy said...

Your entire post made me cry. This is but another reminder of how I don't have a girlfriend. Things are looking bleak for this poster... -_-;

At 7:34 AM, Blogger Knyte said...

"Susan>> Can we pick up where we left off?
[GM]Dave>> Okay.
Susan>> Good.
[GM]Dave>> But can we hurry this up?
[GM]Dave>> I've got Dynamis in like 5 minutes."

/sigh i really need to get a splash guard for my moniter to prevent soda projecting from my mouth when i laugh.....anyway ROFLMAO

At 7:44 AM, Blogger freezinglimbo said...

Now, this was a major event. Not only because I am so damned good, but also because we actually logged out of our characters.

During peak time.

That's love.

I even left a party once to go out on a date. That is beyond true love.

At 8:21 AM, Blogger Myloko said...

I can relate XD My bf and I have done things like that before. But touche on the dynamis Dave XD

At 8:28 AM, Blogger Aakawolf said...

Compromise. There's a win-win situation here. Just go sit in the chair where she can do her camping... while riding your lap.

Hey, works for me when my sweetie's playing WarCraft 3...

At 8:58 AM, Blogger sngirl said...

Ah, true love only exists when both members are gamers. How else do you explain phone calls from other members of your linkshell and having to turn to your husband and saying, "Drive faster dear, they're about to start Zilart 5 and I have to get to the bottom of Ordelles."

At 12:06 PM, Blogger Kenshinn said...

My wife and I play FF and we have been reading this Blog for quite a while and enjoying (laughing our fool heads off) at every post. This one however was so damned funny (and sadly true in some respects) I had to create a Blog account just to reply.
I don't know where you come up with all the things you post but damn man you are truly talented. I wish I had half your writing talent for humor and sarcasm. I can recall nights when one or the other of us is waiting (not very patiently) for the other to be finished with a ZM, CoP mission or a Dynamis run. Excellent post, please keep it up sometimes this Blog really makes our day sometimes and judging by the comments it is the same for many others here.

At 12:42 PM, Blogger klvino said...

sngirl said...

Ah, true love only exists when both members are gamers. How else do you explain phone calls from other members of your linkshell and having to turn to your husband and saying, "Drive faster dear, they're about to start Zilart 5 and I have to get to the bottom of Ordelles."


That really is so true. "Sorry hun, can't go to the movies tomorrow. CoP static is scheduled." "Sorry dear, can't eat right now, Charybdis pop window is up."

Or when you get frustrated by innate noobness of your spouse. "Do you want me to login and run you through that quest or just login as you and solo the damn thing. I did that quest solo *months* ago."

At 1:05 PM, Blogger Artos said...


Excellent stuff.

At 1:42 PM, Blogger Krisnwo said...

So Dave, did you have to put on your wizard coat and hat?


At 1:53 PM, Blogger Lokkin said...

Lol, as always excellent stuff Dave.

Keep it up!

At 3:02 PM, Blogger alleahna said...

Ain't love with a gamer grand? Heh.

Got pointed to your blog from a post on the CoH forums and have thoroughly enjoyed [GM]Dave, so far. The only thing that stand between the sane and the 'tards.

At 3:14 PM, Blogger Stocky said...

I log off every sunday ALL DAY for my girlfriend, I win the whole thing >_>;

At 3:55 PM, Blogger Sicius said...

Dave, I thoroughly enjoy viewing these every day I get online.

It gives me a chance to laugh my ass off at you feeding people to dragons, or just your normal everyday event such as going to the DMV.

Thanks for giving me something to do while I'm sitting in Jeuno waiting for a party.


At 4:31 PM, Blogger Tycooner said...

Dave I have never read anything so funny that I can relate to. There are some really stupid people in the gaming world no matter what game it is. As a Forum Admin I can relate to so much of what you do just in different ways. I was having one of those days and a fellow admin posted a link to this blog. I needed a real good laugh. Anytime you want to take your dragon on a jaunt I have a few that I can feed to it too. As for the get some post least you get. I can't get away from the system long enough to eat nevermind anything else. Just to much to do and not enough hours in a day to do it all. Keep us laughing. I think it's the good laugh like this that save what sanity there is in the world.

At 10:17 PM, Blogger Texgnome1 said...

Thank you for a great laugh. I can certainly relate that stupidity is universal. I am an admin for a site that has quite a few younger members. We deal with this kind of stuff daily, only we have to be semi-nice to them. Thank you for giving action to many of my thoughts. Keep up the great work!

At 11:02 PM, Blogger faker said...

Just something else to further the fact that you are an idiot.

At 11:36 PM, Blogger JeBe said...

Faker.. Go away...

Dave! Omg, please feed her som a dragon.. please!
I mean, You can ban your own mother.. Why not your gf? Hmm?

Or atleast threaten her to do it.

Have a great weekend.

At 1:05 AM, Blogger Aeriel said...


::laughs to much::

::passes out::

faker you fail at life

Long live [GM]Dave!

At 1:27 AM, Blogger Amyalfrodo said...

Faker, shouldn't that be a U in your name? And I think you're missing a C as well.

As always Dave, stunning. Hubby and I play, and there have been the "hurry up I have dynamis in 5 minutes" type conversations in our house as well. LOL Almost woke the family up reading this one.

At 1:30 AM, Blogger Aretha said...

ahahah XD the sad thing is, i wouldnt be surprised if this could really happen XDD

At 4:25 AM, Blogger Minko said...

This shit is retarded. THis little boy doesn't have a girlfriend. He has a bottle of KY jelly, and a coloring book. It turns him on when he colors outside the lines, if you know what I mean.

This guy makes me want to vomit. Please die Dave. Its too bad I dont play FFXI, or I would love to see you try and feed me to a dragon. Oh wait, you can't.. cause your not even a real GM. Come on Dave, show me some wrath. Riddicule me on your blog. I speak the truth, and nothing more.

When your balls drop, let me know. I feel sorry for your pathetic "fan club." The youth of today is deterierating quicker than ever. Its hard to watch.

GOD DAMN you make me want to vomit. Please...just die a slow and painful would make me feel a bit better. But the impact you have had on me is far greater.

Fuck off, mate.

At 5:35 AM, Blogger Sakurafire said...

Hey Minko... With a blog with a name like "Pie is for Eating" I really don't think you have a lot to say. But I suppose the excitement of posting a "bad" comment really does rank up there with your Mommy taking you to McDonalds. I would make a comment about crayons and coloring books back to you, but I wouldn't want to know what you'd do with them.

Anywho, kudos on the post, Dave. ^_~ You speak more truth than you know.

At 5:43 AM, Blogger Ten said...

Some people just can't appreciate good humor.

At 7:06 AM, Blogger Miyozaki said...

Hell yes. Spot on, my friend. Once again a smile on my face. Well done.

And Minko? What was your comment about anyway? Are you seriously THAT much of an anal retentive? He's trying to make people laugh and apart from some stuck up, opinionated ass wipes, it seems to be working.

"You fail at life." just doesn't seem to cut it with you. How bout when you GROW a pair of balls, you kill yourself? "KTHXBYE"

At 7:22 AM, Blogger Sol-rak said...


[GM]Davism totally owns!
All i can see is new macros IG!:

((Shadowbind))- Kirin Bowchikkawowwow \(^0^)/


At 8:11 AM, Blogger Lokkin said...

Minko, I think I just dropped about 50 IQ points reading your comment.

WTF are you on? Who the hell cares if he really is a GM or not? The blog is funny. You, are retarded. If he is a GM he is the best damn GM in the game, at least he plays an active role in improving it. You don't even fucking play FFXI, but you try and say he isn't a GM? Where's your proof huh? What right have you got to try and act bigger than Dave?

Egotistical asshole.

At 8:22 AM, Blogger Zeilakin said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 8:29 AM, Blogger Zeilakin said...

lol Anti-GM Dave people are so silly.

I think it's jealousy, but thats ok, they have people you can go to for that, like your middle school student counselor for example. ^^ b

Rock on GM Dave, great blog.

At 8:30 AM, Blogger You Fail said...

Minko, you don't understand a thing. Let me try to explain at the expense of my precious time (yes i am being very generous, be sure to apreciate it)

It doesn't matter if [GM]Dave is real or not, the point of this blog, the way i see it, is for one to laugh a while. Also it is a way of venting and at the same time a way to show how people should not be so stupid sometimes (I know I'm being way too nice).

So you should probably stop pretending you are The Great Expert and leave the blog if you dont like it.

See? Wasnt I nice? I didn't even say you failed at life, it's probably true, but i didn't say it. Wasnt I considerate?

At 8:38 AM, Blogger anacondajon said...

i once went afk in the middle of an exp pt to have sex. when i came back a half hour later they had just replaced me and wouldn't let me back in

At 10:06 AM, Blogger dickkead said...

Now when you say "Susan", you really mean Tom, right?

At 10:37 AM, Blogger BuzZ said...

Stop putting him down 'cuz he's funnier than you.

Jealousy has its limits.

Even if he's not a GM and there is no "Susan", his communication skill alone gets him more females than you'll speak to in a lifetime.

So FFS stop flaming him on his own blog.

At 12:47 PM, Blogger dickkead said...

Dear buzz,

If I wanted to hear an asshole, I'd fart.

At 4:57 PM, Blogger Knyte said...

likewise if i wanted to see a dickkeed, i would look in your mom's pants. see i can make immature flames too, YAY ME!

now seriously, look up at the top right corner of your screen. you see that 'x'? click it and all your troubles go away

or better yet if your completely retarded, "PrESs TEH AlT PLus Ef FoUr" you DEE DEE DEE! and presto, you can stop using what precious brain cells you have left (as well as wasting the intelligence of normal people) to try and "flame a blog" (please tell me that makes sense to someone, cause it doesnt to me)

but then again, i guess trying to get attention by flaming a popular blog beats wacking off while watching ashley simpson lip-synching on a re-run of SNL in the closet.

have a nice day, you prepubescent bastard you.

At 1:01 AM, Blogger Lishje said...

"[GM]Dave>> But can we hurry this up?
[GM]Dave>> I've got Dynamis in like 5 minutes."


that was grand man.

At 7:25 AM, Blogger dickkead said...


I'd like to thank you for your stupid assumptions, but I was doing what we in the real World refer to as "joking".

I'm suprized that you don't know the difference, cause you'd expect a flaming homosexual to know a thing or two about "flaming".

Step one: Remove foot from mouth.

But I thank you for the time you took to reply to my comment, it makes me sooooooo happy.

(In Opposite World)


At 7:07 PM, Blogger Kirip-san said...

Dear [GM]Dave,

You're the best.

Sincerely, Kirip.

Dear Dickhead,

With a name like that, how can people tell you're joking?

P.S: You fail at life.

Sincerely, Kirip.

At 9:06 PM, Blogger Knyte said...

dear dickkead,

looks like your gaydar is off, though it seems what i said chafed your ass a bit.

hook, line, and sinker.

of course, we all know that percieving emotions is a common everyday thing here on the old e-net.

as for the flaming, no thanks. i get enough of that sharpening my great katana on goblin shaman, in fact my final skin graft appointment is next monday.

(now read carefully, that last part is called joking.)

"cause you'd expect a flaming homosexual to know a thing or two about "flaming"."

that statement works both ways, you know that right? seriously, your girlfriend, her roommate, and her back massager can attest to that.

and fag? oh noes, like he called me a fag and like now he made me all emo-y. so like, now, like i guess i should like go slit my wrists and like die and like stuff. all cause he like called me a fag, and like ruined my fragile little like world by like trying to like insilt me like and the like internet and like stuff.

i know for a fact that you dont have enough hair on your sac to say stuff like that to some person you see on the street in your real world

At 6:19 AM, Blogger dickkead said...


Maybe I do, maybe I don't. I guess you'll never know.

Also, I don't know why you wasted your time with all that, because all it did was bore me.

At 12:37 PM, Blogger Airista said...

hehe,very funny, I'm sorry but I really love how you told us about that.

Well please keep up the lovely work and feeding people to dragons ^^

At 5:22 AM, Blogger nilatai said...

im sorry this has to be said, Faker and minko, die, preferably of cancer...why do you have to rip on this guy because you're to fucking retarded to understand his brand of humour? seriously

die. thanks

Dave keep the laughs coming!

At 7:57 PM, Blogger kiwi said...

Wow minko, thanks to you I now have a blog account.


So you say todays youth is deteriorating? And by whos standard is this. Yours? Of course yours. No one else (actually some other people. Sadly they also post their dubious opinions on this blogs comment section)cares about us reading a damn blog. We read, we laugh, we send five dollars. And you have no right at all to stop this. By reading your post, it seems like you assume to know better than everyone here who likes the blog, and should thus be listened to? OK. SO we should not send GM Dave money? Why the hell not. He provides laughter and general happiness, so some people decide to return the favor. Yet this must stop! :o The innocent youth are being exploited! :O No, they know what theyr doing. They dont need you to tell them how to spend theyr own money. They have brains. I would know.

I hate communism.

At 9:16 AM, Blogger Fircefairy said...

LMAO This was priceless!THE HUMOR WAS GREAT!I have had to go wake up my husband from a nap to do CoP.
*You did'nt lay down with me!*
*No dear I was farming and gearing up for the mission*
For all the haters here I think maybe you should realise this blog is for lifts the spirit of most of the people that read it.
Not only is it funny as hell,it is educational as well.
Here is a very simple concept for you....are you ready?
Perhaps you should write this down...DON"T read the blog if you A)Can't appreciate the humor
B)Are just to simple minded to GET the humor!

At 6:02 AM, Blogger The Answer said...



i applause, that is THE best post i have seen on this blog in the longest time


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