Bannable Offenses

MUST VENT!

Why do people have to screw up a good system?

I know it's hard for some of you to actually think of others, but it would make life mucher easier for everyone.

Believe it or not, there are other people who live on YOUR planet.

Now, if there's anything I hate, it's drama.

I mean damn, you emo bitches. Can't you just write that shit in your journal, listen to your Papa Roach CDs, and leave the rest of us the hell alone?

And there is no drama worse than End Game drama. It's as if being level 75 somehow elevates the importance of your problems.

So, End Game linkshells on several servers have organized systems to reduce the amount of pathetic drama going on.

End Game linkshells on some servers even run an agreed upon event schedule so that everyone can know what's going on, so that this kind of bullshit doesn't happen.

My main server, for example, has an schedule website where linkshells can block out certain time periods for certain events, so that there is no crossover.

Smart, huh?

Instead of people bitching and moaning about "Oh, it's our turn to do Dynamis" or "Wah, we wanted to run that event now", these people got their shit together and worked out a scheduling system.

No more bitching. No more drama. No more emo forum threads about how this linkshell stole your cat or whatever the hell you people argue about.

Yay.

Unfortunately, the scheduling system has one minor flaw. It requires that people NOT BE COMPLETELY FREAKING RETARDED!

What good is a scheduling system if you're just going to ignore it when it suits your needs?

If someone dared to interfere with your scheuleded event, you'd be the first person calling a GM.

You know you would.

But, for some reason, you think the same rules don't apply to you.

Rules are fun when they're working for you, aren't they?

The other night, I was on my main character and my LS was setting up for Dynamis. We had scheduled a Dynamis-Windurst run and we were just starting to organize when another LS JUMPS AHEAD OF US AND ENTERS DYNAMIS.

Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Man, did those guys ever have bad timing.

Seems I have to educate them on the finer points of End Game etiquette.

I didn't want to draw any attention to myself, so I left my main character logged in and slid my chair over to Susan's computer.

Not like she was doing anything important anyway. Who the hell needs a Thief's Knife?

I quickly log into my GM account and warp myself to Dynamis.

Some bitches is gonna die.

Let's review my choices:

a) explain the nature of the scheduling system, reprimand them, and tell them to be more careful in future

b) issue them all warnings and then remove them from the area

c) ban them

d) deluxe package

e) annoy and torture them until they either quit or kill themselves

Well, c through e all sound good, but damn if e doesn't win.

A couple of quick clicks and...

DynamisLord>> Hail, Adventurers.
DynamisLord>> Apparently, you were raised by wolves.
Player1>> HOLY SHIT!
Player2>> Dynamis Lord!!!
Player3>> He's not supposed to be here!
Player2>> Why the hell is he talking like that?!
DynamisLord>> Today, we're going to learn about sharing.
DynamisLord>> Sharing is very important.
Player4>> When did Dynamis Lord turn into a muppet?
DynamisLord>> How about we try sharing, boys and girls?
Player3>> This is ridiculous.
Player3>> I thought he was supposed to be all scary.
DynamisLord>> Let's share some new friends.
Player1>> WTF?!!
Player4>> OHDAMNOHDAMNOHDAMN!

Right in front of them, I spawned a wave of Avatar Idols.

For those of you who are unfamiliar, Avatar Idols are special Dynamis monsters that look like statues of birds.

DynamisLord>> Avatar Idols are also good at sharing.
DynamisLord>> See, Avatar Idols like to share their friends.

That's when each of the idols spawned a number of monsters to help them. Assassins and Chanters and Sentinels.

Suddenly, there was an army of Yagudo ready to educate this entire linkshell.

And by "educate", I mean "mercilessly destroy".

Player1>> BLACK MAGES!
Player1>> TAKE THEM DOWN!

Seems Player1, their leader, didn't see me walk up behind him.

At least, I don't think he saw me.

He sure did look surprised when I "shared" my axe with his torso.

DynamisLord>> Isn't sharing fun?

I think that LS really learned something that day.

Most of them also learned to breathe through a sliced trachea, but the most important lesson was the sharing.

Seriously, people. Don't be total dicks. Have some courtesy for your fellow player.

Otherwise, you may find yourself with a torso full of giant axe.

Good lesson there.

posted by Goblin Smithy @ 6:31 AM